A/N: Happy Holidays everyone! Stay safe!
We Hate as Enemies and Grieve as Brothers.
Mjollnir makes a loud noise as Thor lets her slip from his fingers.
He wants to hide behind is hands, wants to childishly shield himself from the sight of his mother drenched in her own blood. Perhaps he can pretend it is just a nightmare then.
He would wake up and run into the arms of his mother and she would soothe away his worries with her kisses.
He blinks. Once. Twice. Three times.
His hands curl into fists as he sees Frigga sprawled on the floor, still dead.
Odin collapses on his knees and takes his wife in his arms. He is shaking as he pulls her to his chest. Clumsily, he attempts to push back her hair. Tears fall down his cheek and onto Frigga's face.
Aloofly, Thor watches. The only indication that he grieves is the shaking of his hands.
He does not acknowledge the soldier that hesitantly walks to his side. He can't take his eyes off his mother and the blood she seems to be bathing in.
This is not a dream and Thor feels an encroaching darkness is ready to swallow him whole. His hands shake all the more.
"My Prince, should I send one of the guards to inform the prisoner of the Queens… passing?"
Ah, Loki. Someone would have to tell him of mother's death. Thor says nothing. The soldier begins to feel uneasy around him. "My Prince?"
Thor distantly hears himself talk. "No. I will tell him." The soldier nods and leaves quickly. He closes his eyes and wills himself to breathe. Oh Loki.
Numbly, his fingers close around Mjollnir's shaft. He wills himself to turn away from his mother's body and makes his way to the dungeons.
()()()
When Loki sees Thor, he scoffs. "Still alive are you? I was hoping they gutted you and strung your innards around Asgard." Thor does not respond to the gibe. He ignores him entirely as he quietly asks one of the guards to open the door to Loki's cell. Perplexed, they do as they are told.
Loki leans back and raises his eyebrows in curiosity. He attempts to read Thor's expression. He is annoyed when Thor looks away from him. He hides it with a sneer. "You presume to think I want you here Odinson." Again Thor ignores him. He orders the guards to leave.
"My Prince—"
"I will not ask again," Thor growls. The guards, fearful of the Thunderer's wrath, leave quickly. Only when he feels that he is well and truly alone with Loki does he turn around to meet his brother's eyes.
Loki hides his shock well. Thor looks completely and utterly defeated. His eyes are dull. He is hunched, as if he is carrying the weight of all nine realms on his shoulders. He is attempting to hide the tremors that run through his hands and fails.
Loki ignores the pang in his chest at seeing his brother so broken. Instead he smiles cruelly. "What's the matter Thor? Angry you did not stop the Dark Elves from infiltrating Asgard so easily? Don't worry Thor, you'll stop them next time," he mocks.
Thor still does not speak; he continues to stare at his brother. Loki tilts his head to the side and digs deeper. "I wonder who finally taught you to shut up. I should send them flowe—"
"Mother's dead."
Loki stops talking midway and slowly looks at Thor's face. He looks for the lie that is surely painted on Thor's face because the Queen of Asgard, his mother, cannot be dead. He does not find it.
He backs away from Thor, smiling. "And here I thought I was the one gifted with a silver- tongue. You should really leave the lying to me—"
"I do not lie Loki. She was murdered by Kurse." No. Thor is not lying. The stupid oaf is incapable of stringing a lie. Loki's smile drops from his face.
(Then am I not your mother?)
(No, you are not)
Loki slowly makes his way to the center of the room. Thor watches him. A funnel of raw magic escapes him and everything explodes around him. Thor cringes as metal and wood bite his skin. He is too weak to fight to stay on his feet. He lets Loki's magic sweep through his bruised and bloodied body and dimly acknowledges the pain as his back connects to the glass mirror behind him. His legs cannot hold him anymore and he drops to the floor.
Loki is on him the next second. He is a maelstrom of uncontrolled fury; he pummels Thor with his fists. Thor makes not attempt to defend himself. He deserves this. He feels Loki's fury and wishes it would incinerate him. He has failed to save their mother.
He deserves this.
Thor lets out a moan of pain as Loki smashes his head against the glass. He struggles not to lose consciousness as Loki's nails dig into his scalp and pull his head towards his face.
"Where were you when she was murdered? Where were you Thor?!"
Thor suddenly finds that he cannot draw in breath; Loki's hands have made their way down to his throat. Thor feels his fingers pressing deeper and deeper. He makes no attempt to fight him off.
He deserves this.
Thor looks into the enraged eyes of his brother and hopes that he will do it. By the Norns he wishes Loki would kill him. He cannot live with guilt of not reaching their mother in time, to prevent Kurse from sinking his blade into her.
"She is dead because of you Thor! All your strength and you failed to save mother! I hate you! I hate you!"
Hate me brother. Kill me brother.
If possible, Loki squeezes his throat more tightly. Black spots begin to cloud Thor's vision.
"You have failed your queen Thor!" Yes, he has. The memory of his mother's corpse on the floor rings in his head. Forgive me brother.
Thor suddenly gasps for breath. The constricting fingers around his throat are gone and he can once again breathe freely. Exhaustingly, he feels Loki on him still. Weakly, he is punching Thor's chest. His whole body is quivering with exertion. He puts his head on Thor's chest and when he speaks, Thor feels the remnants of his heart shatter.
"She cannot be dead Thor… she simply cannot be dead." Thor does not hesitate to wrap his arms around Loki. He hugs his brother close and tucks his head onto his shoulder. Loki stiffens at the contact but does not move to break away.
They stay this way for a long time. Thor does not know the exact moment when they both begin to weep. They grip one another tightly, each unwilling to let the other go in this madness. They are not enemies here, in this broken down cell. No, they are brothers mourning the death of the Queen of Asgard… and their mother.
"I'm so sorry Loki." He says it so silently that he fears that Loki did not hear him. However, he holds Thor more tightly to him. Thor ignores the protests of his body and returns the embrace.
()()()
The guards do not say anything about the bruises that cover Thor's face and neck as he walks into Loki's cell room a couple of days later.
()()()
Loki snickers darkly. "You must be truly desperate, to come to me for help." Thor does not reply as he turns his back away from him. "What makes you think you can trust me?"
"I don't." Loki hums in agreement and tries to locate the broken man he saw two days earlier. He fails and he isn't sure if he's sad or relieved. "You betray me and I'll kill you."
Loki stares at him, examining him. This Thor is not beaten and broken. No, this Thor seeks vengeance. And so does Loki.
He smiles and tips his head forward. "When do we start?"