Elena paced the foyer of the boarding house up and down, her mind racing faster than her feet were moving. She was thinking so rapidly that she couldn't even pinpoint exactly what she was thinking about; just irrational worries and her behavior in the past. Her hands went from her hair, to clenched in fists at her waist to crossed around her chest. She felt as if she was losing her mind.

Where the hell was Damon? After they had realized that they were, in fact, really low on blood bags, Damon said he was calling in on an old favor then took off to get more. That was nearly two hours ago. She hadn't fed since this morning and now she felt that if she didn't, and soon, something bad would happen. What, she didn't know.

"He'll be back soon." A voice said from behind her, and Elena whirled around to find Stefan, standing on the stair case. She halted and crossed her arms, suddenly itching to run away.

"I- I know." She claimed, but it wasn't true. For some irrational reason, Elena had concocted an idea in her head that Damon would abandon her completely and leave her to fend her for herself. It was stupid, of course. She knew that, deep down. But that didn't stop the thought from popping up persistently in the back of her head.

Stefan nodded, leaning against the bannister as he watched her carefully. "How're you holding up?"

Elena barked out a laugh before she could stop herself. How was she doing? Really? "Perfect, Stefan. Being a vampire is so easy. I just love it." She hissed out, the sarcasm in her voice turned up to the maximum level.

He huffed, "Yeah, sorry. Stupid question."

Barely hearing him, Elena sighed irritably and rubbed her forehead. "God, where is he?" She muttered to herself.

"Right, well, I'll just leave you here to wait for him." Stefan said, his mouth forming into a straight line as he started to turn to go back up the stairs.

At the tone of his voice, guilt slammed into Elena at the way she had talked to him and she immediately took a few steps towards him. "Wait. I, ah, I'm sorry. I'm not doing so good, as you can see." She scoffed, shutting her eyelids against the light shining from the hallway. "Being around Bonnie earlier was… hard. I never thought I'd want to eat my best friend."

He stopped and turned back around, nodding sympathetically. "I'm not gonna lie, Elena. The next few months aren't going to be easy. Especially since…" Stefan trailed off, looking hesitant to continue.

"Especially since what?" She asked, feeling like she wasn't going to like whatever it was.

Again, he hesitated. But at her pointed look he continued. "It's just that… usually, the transition is harder for people who had… addictions before they turned. I mean, look at Vicki, that didn't turn out so good for her…" He said, and when Elena's eyebrows scrunched together at the implication, he immediately backpedaled. "Not that you're going to end up like her! Of course you won't. It's just that-" Elena's expression didn't change, and Stefan sighed, suddenly tired. "Never mind. My brother's way better at talking to you, it seems."

"'Course I am." Someone said from behind Elena. "You should know by now that I'm better at everything, Stef."

She whipped around to find Damon carrying a medium sized cooler into the house, and she immediately forgot what Stefan was saying. "Damon!" She exclaimed with relief, and she was at his side before he even had the door closed. "What took you so long?" She demanded, her hand closing around his wrist on it's own accord.

"Ow. Jeez, Elena." He peeled her fingers off of his wrist, and Elena frowned when she saw the white marks left, which quickly faded. "It was rush hour on a Thursday; I've been stuck in traffic."

"Oh. Right, yeah. Of course." She stuttered, feeling silly under his gaze. But he quickly looked past her to Stefan, who was still hovering on the stairs.

"Damon, can we talk?" He asked, looking between them and at the way her fingers were unknowingly digging into the arm of his jacket.

Damon frowned, apparently not liking his brother's tone and switched his gaze to the cooler. Kneeling down, he opened it and dug around. Elena briefly caught a glimpse of red bags and she swallowed. He stood up and turned to her, pushing a blood bag in her arms. "Here, drink that. Stefan, come help me put these downstairs." He commanded, and at that, he started marching towards the basement door, Stefan close on his heels.

Elena sucked the blood bag down, barely tasting it and already wanting more. Annoyed at herself, she flung the empty plastic away from and scowled at it. At least she was feeling a bit better, though. Not as twitchy.

Sitiing down on the stairs, she cradled her head in her hands as she honed in on the sounds the house was making. The buzz of the coffee machine in the kitchen, water moving through the pipes in the wall, and voices coming from downstairs. Suddenly, she heard her name and she immediately focused on the conversation.

"-she's erratic, Damon. Unstable. I've never seen her like this."

"She just turned last night, Stefan. The hell do you expect? Were we acting perfectly normal after we transitioned? Was Caroline?" Damon replied.

"No, I know. It's just… I don't know. There's something else there… something that I didn't see in Caroline. I'm just worried." Stefan mumbled.

Damon's sigh echoed through the basement. "I know, so am I. But there's not much we can do, if she's acting the same in a couple weeks then we'll know we have a problem. Until then, I'll handle her."

She heard Stefan sigh in response. "Yeah, okay."

The pair started shuffling up the stairs and Elena scrubbed a hand over face in agitation. Great, so they thought she was going crazy. And apparently Stefan thought was going to turn out like Vicki, of all people. What a wonderful thought.

A new idea crossed her mind suddenly. What if they had to… stake her if she became too rampant? Would they do that, to her? The way Damon had stated that he'd handle her if she didn't change came to the forefront of her mind. Did that mean…?

Suddenly unsure, Elena stood up quickly. She didn't want to be here anymore. She didn't want to be a vampire anymore; had never really wanted to be one in the first place. Elena yearned for comfort, comfort from someone familiar, someone who she knew loved her.

Immediately she knew who it was that she wanted to see, and she was out the door and headed to her house before Damon and Stefan were even upstairs.

Elena rapped her fist against the familiar white door, feeling strange that she was knocking to get into her own house. But she didn't have an invitation yet, so all she could do was hope Jeremy was home.

The door flew open, and Elena brightened when she saw her brother. He looked tired, and there was an irritated red mark on his arm. "Elena!"

"Hey Jer." She sighed, relieved. He opened his arms for her, and she frowned, unable to enter.

It took him a moment to comprehend, but then understanding flashed across his face and he stood up taller. "You may enter, Elena." He said dramatically in a deep voice, and Elena smiled at him as she felt the barrier break and she crossed the threshold to hug him.

"I missed you, Jeremy." She said, her voice wavering as she kept her head turned the opposite way of his neck so that she wouldn't smell him.

He laughed. "It's only been a day, Elena."

"I know, but-" She stopped when she heard a noise behind her, and she turned around to see a unfamiliar car pulling in. Elena stiffened when a very familiar person got out of it.

Meredith loped up the porch, a small white paper bag in her hand. She faltered a little when she saw Elena, but smiled again nicely. "Hey, Elena. I heard about- well, you know." She said, and turned to Jeremy to hand him the back. "Here are some antibiotics for that bite on your arm. Take one every-"

"How would you know about that?" Elena asked rudely, referring to what Meredith had said to her.

"Oh, uh, Damon told me." She answered, confused at Elena's tone.

"When did you see Damon?" She demanded, her temper rising. Was it possible that Damon had really gone to see Meredith today, and that's why he had taken so long? And why the hell was she giving Jeremy pills?

"Today." Meredith said, smiling hesitantly. "I got some blood bags for him to-"

Elena wasn't listening. She had already leaped across the few feet separating them and had Meredith up against the side of the house, her fangs out and veins rising up beneath her eyes. The woman's neck felt incredibly fragile underneath her hands, and for a moment, Elena relished in the power she felt at holding a human's life in her hands.

Out of nowhere, two hands caught her in a vice like grip and pulled her back roughly. Elena vaguely realized that Damon was holding her back, but she was too shocked at her own thoughts the moment before to really care.

He started pulling her towards his car. "Sorry, Mere! Elena's a little too thirsty right now, so I apologize on her behalf for attacking you. Catch ya later." He stated before shoving her into the passenger seat. Jeremy called his name and started walking towards the car, but Damon ignored him and they were speeding down the road before her brother could reach them.

They arrived at the boarding house a little under ten minutes later; ten minutes of Elena brooding over her own crazy actions while Damon shot looks at her out of the corner of his eyes. God, what the hell was wrong with her? Stefan was absolutely right, she was erratic; unstable. What if she couldn't control herself, what if she remained like this for forever? Once again, Elena once again cursed those stupid pills. They had caused far more trouble than they were worth. She hated them, she hated herself, and she hated being a vampire.

Damon pulled her into the house by her arm and sat her down on the couch like she was a little girl while she became increasingly more upset. He poured her a large glass of whiskey and shoved it into her hands.

Elena clutched the cup tightly, her hands shaking. "I can't do this, Damon!"

Her words seemed to distress him, because he scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned away. "Elena-"

"No no no! I can't! I don't want to be a vampire! I'm horrible at it!" She said heatedly, her voice rising with hysteria.

"It hasn't even been two days, Elena!"

"I don't care! I can't do it. I won't!" Elena exclaimed. She stood up suddenly and began pacing erratically while Damon tensed and watched. She had that look in her eye; the look he could only assume that graced his own face right before he had snapped Jeremy's neck, right before he had forced his blood upon her. He had never been on the other side of it before, though. Was this how she had felt then?

"I barely even wanted to live before, and now I have to live forever? Well, no. No fucking way." She mumbled, and he arched an eyebrow up at her curse.

Elena looked like she barely saw him anymore, and out of nowhere her hand flew up to her neck where the daylight necklace rested. Her fingers closed around the chain and she yanked it off, throwing it to the floor.

"Elena!" He called, and just managed to grab her before the sunlight streaming through the windows could touch her.

"No!" She sobbed, half-heartedly struggling against him. "I can't! I can't, I can't, I can't! I don't want to do this, Damon!"

Not knowing what else to do, he started pulling her towards the basement. He didn't want to lock her up, was hoping he'd never have to, but he had no idea what else to do.

Realizing what he was doing, Elena planted her feet and started struggling more. "Why do you even care?" She cried, and Damon narrowed his eyes at the question. "It's not like you even love me anymore! You left! You obviously don't care about me!"

At that, all the energy seemed to leave her body and she sagged against him heavily. He tightened his arms around her as he sank to the floor, pulling her closer. "Jesus Christ, Elena."

She didn't reply, just cried harder. Damon was at a lost. He had no idea what to do, he had never seen Elena this unstable. The way her forehead was scrunched up, the way tears dripped endlessly down her cheeks, hanging on the tip of her nose was the picture of pure grief.

Not knowing what else to say or do, Damon said the one thing that he hadn't said in years. "I do, okay? I do love you." He sighed, pressing his lips into her scalp protectively. "I've always loved you, Elena."

At those short words, she visibly calmed. Her breaths more stable; less rapid and she looked up at her, her eyes shining. "You do?" Elena asked quietly, hope brewing in the pit of her stomach.

"Of course I do, Elena." He stated like it was obvious. Wasn't that common knowledge now? Everybody seemed to know it. Only Elena would get insecure when she thought one person wasn't in love with her. "I thought we established this a long time ago."

He didn't understand the expectation brewing in her eyes, the way her fingers gripped him tighter and how she leaned in closer. Elena had never looked at him like that before.

Before he could ponder it any longer, though, she turned her heard away and tucked it back into his chest. He stood with her in his arms, heading upstairs to put her into his bed. He felt unsure on whether he should lock her in the cell or not, but he really didn't want to and he settled on simply keeping an eye on her until after she got some sleep.

On his way he stepped over her discarded necklace, the one that had been meant for someone else, and he reminded himself to come pick it up later.

A/n: Tell me what you think! :)