Warnings: Implied Child Neglect and depressing themes, also just kind of sad.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea which I posted as a prompt on the kink meme but then got bored and half wrote a fill for. Then left if for a few months and finished.
A/N: My first ever started fanfiction. I'm a very strange person in the fact I am an open, outgoing cheerful {Not to mention insane} person with an awesome life but I loved to read and write very depressing things, most of my ideas for hurt/comfort fics center around either Loki from the Avengers (Because let's face it he need hugs.) or Jack. Often with neglect and self-harm on Jack's part and bullying, child abuse and self-harm on Loki's. If you notice some strange mistake please feel free to point it out
Thank you to a real life friend of mine from Russia for helping me with North's accent. (If you're having trouble reading it change 'z's to 'th's and 'v's to 'w's.)
Frozen Hearts Can Shatter Too
Being a guardian is not the easiest of jobs, it comes with many responsibilities and duties that don't apply to normal spirits and often a new guardian will find the extra work overwhelming. In effort to help them adjust they are given a wish at the time of their entry into guardianship. North had wished for his helpers, the yetis and the elves that helped (Some more than others) to craft the toys that he delivered to children around the world on Christmas. The Warren had been Bunny's wish and thanks to it and its rivers of paint and stone guards Easter had become a far larger holiday. While Tooth had always had the help of her fairies she had not gained her palace in all of its majesty until she had been chosen as the guardian of memories. No one knew what Sandy had wished for as he was the eldest of the guardians and none of the other spirits had known enough about him before to see what had changed.
Jack rather obviously never had the time to be given his wish as he was rather busy cleaning up Pitches mess. However once all had been said and done it was North who was the first to ask Jack what he was going to wish for. It had been when all of the guardians were gathered at the Pole cozied around a warm fire, except for Jack that is who was curled up in a large window sill. The other guardians had left him to his thoughts having decided that he was most likely just tired from the adventures of the past week. North who had only just remembered himself that Jack had yet to make his wish, turned himself to face Jack thus halting the rant from Tooth about how kids never bothered to floss anymore. The guardian had been rather quiet and North didn't want him to feel left out so he spoke up "Zinking about vhat you are going to vish for are you?" his voice was playful with a teasing undertone and he had a smile on his face.
Jack seemed to be jerked back to the world of the living by the question and he almost fell out of the window, only managing to save himself by thrusting his staff down and balancing himself with it. Once he was steady he seemed to take a few seconds to mull over North's words before he seemed to regain his hold on the English language. A confused look spread across his face when he figured out the words meaning he turn his whole body toward North tilting his head to the side his legs curled up against him to stop him from tumbling out of the window sill a few more seconds went by before he asked with the same confusion that showed on his face "What do you mean wish for?"
Now it was North's turn for confusion, the wish was something that was very well known throughout the spirit world. He replied to Jack in a slower tone of voice "You do not know of ze wish?" Jack shook his head 'Why are they all staring at me' he asked himself from the comfort of his own mind.
It was Bunny who spoke up from where he had been telling a story to Sandy "Geez mate do you live under a rock or something, everyone knows about the wish." Which earned him a smack on the back of his head from Sandy whom had a rather indignant look on his face.
Before Jack could respond to Bunny's comment North chose to explain "Vhen a guardian becomes a guardian zere are often more zhobs to be done as ze number of believers rise. To make up for this the Man in ze Moon offers each guardian a vish, I vished for the yetis and elves while Tooth vished for her castle."
Jack took a second to think this over "You can wish for anything?" he asked, his voice had such a small tone underlying his normal grin laced voice not even Bunny dared to comment on his restating of what North had said.
It took a few seconds for North to confirm him "Yes, vith very few exceptions. Ze man in ze moon vill not kill anyone and he cannot rewrite the past but ozer zen zat one can vish for anything. Normal you vould have made your vish vhen you became a guardian but it vas a bad time. Next full moon vill be when Manny shall grant your vish." This brought a sort of silence across the room, not a good sort of silence either as they awaited Jack response.
Just as Jack was opening his mouth a loud noise that sounded an awful lot like a crash came as the window that Jack had occupied was flung open by the wind who had been trying to get Jack's attention for some time now and had only just managed to undo the lock. The wind rushed around Jack swirling, twisting and turning in a bit of a panic, to the others ears it sounded like any other wind sounds albeit somewhat louder but to Jack it was a frenzied blurch of words out of order and hard to make out. He spoke to the wind soothingly "Clam down south, I can't understand you when you jumble like that". The others looked on with some amazement as the hurricane that had been forming mere seconds earlier was turned into a slow breeze by the odd language pouring from Jacks mouth. As the wind slowed Jack could make out what had driven the south wind into such a state, his eyes went wide and he turned quickly to the other guardians "Hey-Guys-I-gota-run-Summer-is-messing-with-the-Antarctic-again-Bye!" he yelled before calling to the wind and soaring out of sight.
There was a sort of shocked state amongst the guardian before Bunny voice an approximation of everyone's thoughts "What in bloody hell just happened?!"
~Time Skip to The Wishing~
Now the wish is supposed to made in privacy, but let's face it no one pays that rule any mind, so it fairly common knowledge that if you are chosen there will be ears pressed up against the door. The issue with Jack and common knowledge from the spirit world is that in order Jack to gain this common knowledge he would have to have had someone to have spoken about it to him, something that he greatly lacked. So on the night of the full moon Jack stood alone in the globe room of North's workshop, no yetis, elves or guardians to be seen with the large crystal erected in front of him. Moonlight was poised ready to fill the cavern hovering just above the hold that would alight the stone. The other guardians were hovering just outside of the room, the door creaked open, they were all making guesses as to what Jack was planning on wishing for; Bunny had panicked more than once about the possibility of Jack asking for winter to last forever all over the globe rather than following it's normal patterns. Tooth thought that Jack would ask for new powers and North had shunned both these ideas and stated "He vill ask for a grand castle made of pure ice I know it." Sandy had remained rather withheld about the whole thing, if anything he looked upset about something.
A hush fell over the guardians as the moon moved into place, the rays caught the stone and reflected at every angle filling the room with white fire patterns dancing on the walls and floor. Jack stood, the moonlight illuminating him in every way; his posture was odd, almost hunched his staff acting as a third leg and he seemed a bit more withdrawn if one could look closely they would see flashes of insecurities making their way onto his face. In its silent voice the moon spoke to Jack "Welcome, Guardian of fun. You have taken your oath to protect the children of this world and in reward for this I offer you the choice for the thing you desire most so now say it to me and I will make it so."
At these words Jack seemed to grow smaller, with his elbows pulled in and pointed downwards what looked to be about half of his weight was resting on his staff and his eyes were fixed on the base of the crystal he stood before. Some seconds passed before Jack could muster the courage to speak to the white orb in the night sky and when he did his voice wasn't very loud and nothing like his normal outgoing tone rather it sounded like a small child confessing to stealing the last cookie from the jar "I-I was wondering if maybe, if it isn't too much to ask I might be able to have a… hug? I understand if that's asking for too much and I know you can only do so much, I don't even care who hugs me I don't mind if they take it back right after. That would be fine too, it's just that I've seen people share them before and they've always looked so nice and I've never tried it and if you can't do that I understand completely, but… if that really isn't possible do you think I could have someone not hate me instead? I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with and I don't really know how to behave around other spirits but I'd like to be able to pretend someone cares about me even if it's just for a little while."
From behind the door the guardians' hearts had been shatter into a million pieces by Jacks first jumble of stuttered words which had only then been stomped on by his further ones and then whatever was left had been melted away by the look in his shining blue eyes, so desperate and pleading. Bunny could feel Jack's tiny ray of hope pierce him like a blade of water as it was crush so completely and utterly by the boys own insecurities and self-doubts. It was taking everything Tooth had in her to stop herself from bursting into the room and smothering the winter spirit with hugs.
Meanwhile Jack's wish had shocked even the moon into silence and after a few moment of hearing north Jack decided that it had been a mistake and tried to take his statement back only to fall over his own words as he tried to convince himself that he was being greedy by asking for so much and that he should be so bold as to ask to torment someone else by forcing them to hug something as monstrous as he was. However just as much as he tried to forget the words had ever been said his voice was so filled with longing and desire that he could not withhold from it no matter how harshly he reprimanded himself in his head.
Manny had heard far more than enough and he couldn't believe what a mistake he had made in the torture he had put this boy through his whole life. When he felt the pain seep form Jack he could bare it no longer, so he spoke protecting his voice so that it cause Jack to hush his apologizes that the Moon had no right to "Jack Frost of Winter I have heard your wish and find it far with the realm of what is allowed but you must be sure that this is your final choice in wish."
And when Jack looked up at the moon, all of the guardians could see the pain, the loss and the loneliness of three hundred years of endured hatred from other spirits, years filled with the only attention the boy ever received being that of ill-will from Bunny or a Seasonal spirit who thought that Jack had committed some crime against them that more often than not was simply mother nature, they could see all the decades that the boy had spent talking to things that would never speak back because nothing else would listen. It was then that they wondered if they could ever be forgiven for what they had done and but seconds later they realized a fact that was far worse to them than all the others they had come to see that night.
They already had been; Jack had never blamed or accused them of fault, of ignoring him or of his neglect, of the abuse he had suffered through alone. He had only blamed himself for being unlovable, for being a monster, for doing things he had never done.
Jack voice shivered barely above a thin whisper, self-hatred consuming him as he spoke but unable to deny himself "Yes". The moon braced himself before speaking again
"Then so it shall be, as per the terms of guardianship your wish shall be granted within three days' time." And with that the spell broke, the moon slowly dipped down past the opening. Rubbing his eyes fervently to remove any signs of the few crystal tears that had managed to slip from the confines of Jack's aqua blue eyes. It took the straining of all but Bunnies ears to catch the mumbled phrases escaping the newest guardian's mouth "Stupid…Selfish…Greedy…Murder".
Slowly the winter spirit calmed himself while the stone returned to its place in the floor. It took him a few deep breaths before he could conjure enough power to craft a small ice mirror extending form his staff; he examined himself before smiling at the reflection. It was only now that the guardians could tell how fake it was.
It was Sandy who spoke up first, above him flashed a dreamsand image of Jack and then of the guardians behind the door, after that an X appeared over the image of guardians. It took North only seconds to understand the message and seeing Jack prepare to leave he quickly turned towards the main room. The other guardians got the message and hurried into the sitting room, where five cups of hot chocolate sat. Each guardian grabbed a cup and sat trying to make it look as if they had been there the whole time. After what felt like millenniums but was most likely only about two minutes, Jack entered the room and plopped himself down on the couch. Normal this wouldn't have odd or strange behavior but after what they had just seen the guardians watched him much closer than they normally would have and it brought things too mind, the way he chose to sit at the end of the couch away from North and Bunny (Tooth and Sandy were seated on the floor near the fire.) or how he drew one leg up onto the couch with him; he could spring up in but a seconds notice. How he kept both hands on his staff which was half in his lap, but also how even though each of the guardians had a coco in their hands and there was one left on the coffee table between him and the fire he had simply glanced at it with some forced down desire that was well hidden and not taken it.
Now while all the guardians had been studying the winter spirit he had only become more uncomfortable under they're gazes "If you guys are worried I wished for it to be winter all the time everywhere I didn't…" This snapped everyone out the semi-trance state they had been in.
It was Bunny who answered Jack "Nah, mate we were just trying to figure out what you did wish for." To which Jack only flashed his trademark smirks and returned with
"I thought you weren't supposed to tell other people what you wish for or it won't come true." The words were meant as a joke but it caused the guardians thought on how desperate Jack was for his wish to be granted. Now with all of this mulling and thoughts rushing around Jack from the normally light company of the other guardians he was being more than a bit put off. Honestly he was considered making up something important to run off and do when Baby Tooth darted into the room, buzzing something about a gremlin taking teeth from the palace, Tooth reacted quickly.
One short conversation that no one could keep up with later she announced "I'm going to have to leave a bit earlier than planned, I'm so sorry Jack I know that today is a special"-
"It's fine Tooth." Jack cut her off rolling his eyes. She nodded gratefully and gave a few words to Baby Tooth and before Jack could react she had crossed the room to embrace him in a tight hug before flitting out of the room.
Jack seemed to have gone into shock for a few seconds after the hug, his eyes wide borderline comical before he seemed to shake himself and get smile out. This smile was a bit different from all his other blinding smiles, looking at this smile verses all the others ones made the forcedness of the others stand out like the full moon on a cloudless night. The winter spirit was stilling feeling rather uncomfortable as the attentions of the room was still oddly focused on him. Rubbing the back of his head awkwardly Jack spoke up "Well, it's been fun guys but I really ought to get back to work. Winter is always somewhere right?" before he raced out the door without giving them a chance to answer.
With the subject of their thoughts now gone the three remaining guardians shared a heavy silence, it was Bunny who finally broken it "Right then, I think we can all agree that we've screwed up big time with frostbite and there's no taking it back. The best we can do is not mess up like we have in past." Which was met with nods from his two coworkers.
It would take a long time for the guardians of childhood to heal the child they forgot, but it was now set in all four of their hearts to patch together the shattered pieces of a not so frozen heart.