I do not own any of the internet personalities or memes presented in this story.

The Internet Police: The Will of the Internet

Orientation, Part 1

In the faraway land of Chicago, the office workers at the Norman Greeting Card Company were manufacturing various greeting cards. These greeting cards ranged from mediocre to downright horrible, with one card consisting of a crudely drawn anatomically correct heart for Valentine's Day. The office workers were yawning behind their desks as they continued to make the greeting cards without much care or attention. Behind one of these desks was a young brunette woman by the name of Aubrey Aiese. A native of Brooklyn, Aubrey was a minor internet celebrity for her viral video 51 Things I Found Around My House. She was attempting to find employment in a time of great economic uncertainty, and after searching high and low on the internet, she eventually found a job at the Norman Greeting Card Company. After a few days working at the company, she realized that she only chose the job as a means of supporting herself financially. As it turned out, the job was boring beyond belief and was run by Norman Albert, the CEO of the Norman Greeting Card Company. He was a man who could give any gym teacher a run for their money, for he always went berserk when anyone proposed any changes to the abhorrent greeting cards, frequently yelling through his megaphone towards anyone who even attempts to confront him. Thus, it was unsurprising that no one has even tried to defy his identical greeting card policy.

"I'm tired of making the same greeting cards every single day", said Bob Smith, an employee working besides Aubrey. "I have an idea of making these cards actually sing towards people rather than staring blankly into their faces. It will go something like this: We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Norman will be very happy for my idea."

"I wouldn't do that," said Aubrey.

"Come on, Aubrey. What's the worst that could happen?"

But as it turned out, Bob Smith was very, very wrong.

"What on earth is this abomination doing in my company?!" shouted Norman through his megaphone. "Do you realize that people will think that this card is being possessed by an evil spirit? My goodness! People will probably run to their nearest priest for an exorcist. Get this card out of my face! If you step another toe out of line, I will make sure that you are fired and sent to cleaning toilets for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?!"

"Yes sir," replied Bob as he slumped back into his chair in shame.

Norman walked away from Bob Smith and Aubrey Aiese and said in private, "I really need to fire many of these dunderheads as a means of cutting costs."

Aubrey continued to labor at her tedious work making abysmal greeting cards, and resigned herself to the reality that she was going to be working here for a great deal of her life. Little did she know that her entire outlook on life would change as two men entered onto the work floor. One was wearing glasses, khaki pants, and a white shirt with a pen pocket. The other also wore glasses, and his clothes consisted of a black cap, a red tie, a white shirt underneath a black jacket, and blue jeans. The former was known as the Angry Video Game Nerd and the latter was the Nostalgia Critic. Right now, they were loading up their guns and ready to kick ass.

"Let's go in and track down this motherfucker," said the Angry Video Game Nerd as he and the Nostalgia Critic walked through the Norman Greeting Card Company skyscraper.

"I've got the location of our suspect," answered the Angry Video Game Nerd as he looked on the tracking device on an electronic tablet. that pinpointed the location of their suspect. "He's travelling through the building's ventilation system as we speak."

"He must be pretty small to be able to travel through there," said the Nostalgia Critic.

The Angry Video Game Nerd and the Nostalgia Critic were now walking between the desks of yawning office workers, who were all in a stupor as they manufactured various greeting cards.

"He sure is small considering he is a chipmunk," said the Angry Video Game Nerd as he looked at his electronic tablet. "He is called the Dramatic Chipmunk, and he is wanted for attempting to pour poison into the acorns of Chicago's chipmunk population."

"That little fucker will pay for what he is doing to those poor chipmunks," said the Nostalgia Critic as he glanced at his electronic tablet.

"Let's just get on him like a motherfucking hawk," replied the Angry Video Game Nerd.

The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd hurried out of the work floor. What they didn't know was that Aubrey was eavesdropping on their conversation the whole time, with everyone else preoccupied with their work.

"Did the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd, two of the internet's most popular personalities say they were going to arrest a chipmunk for wanting to poison the chipmunk population of Chicago?" asked Aubrey to Bob Smith.

"Nah," answered Bob. "I think we just two people celebrating Halloween a few months early. Go back to work, Aubrey."

But Aubrey couldn't go back to work. Feeling curious and a bit adventurous, she got up and followed the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd behind stealthily. After a few tense minutes of avoiding the attention of the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd, Aubrey found herself in the Norman Greeting Card Company's acorn warehouse. Why a greeting card company needed to store acorns was beyond her comprehension. Maybe Norman Albert preferred nuts over other hobbies. Suddenly, the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game spotted the furry bandit over a mountain of crates full of acorns, and he was pouring a green liquid into them.

"There he is, the furry little bastard with his bastardly paws," whispered Nostalgia Critic as he stared at the creature from behind several crates. "That chipmunk is going down."

"Actually, Mr. Critic. He's really a prairie dog," said the Angry Video Game Nerd.

"I don't care if he's a chipmunk, a prairie dog, or a pile of bullshit," stated the Nostalgia Critic. "I fucking hate these chipmunks even though I'm going to protect them. After all, they were the inspiration behind those shitty Alvin and the Chipmunk movies. I mean the Squeakquel? Come on!"

"Let's just take him down!" said the Angry Video Game Nerd as he pointed his gun at the Dramatic Chipmunk.

Just then, the Nostalgia Critic's cell phone rang, and the soundtrack to Young Frankenstein was emitted as its ringtone. At the same time, the Dramatic Chipmunk turned his head around and gave his trademark stare.

"What the fuck!" yelled the Angry Video Game Nerd. "Why did you leave your cell phone on during a mission?"

"Sorry," explained the Nostalgia Critic. "Something important might turn up. Do you like my ringtone? I just love Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein."

Just then, the Dramatic Chipmunk took out a laser ray gun and began shooting aimlessly at the two agents down below. The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd ducked and dodged the lasers being fired from the Dramatic Chipmunk, with Aubrey being forced to avoid being hit in the crossfire. Aubrey saw the Angry Video Game Nerd shooting his gun repeatedly at the Dramatic Chipmunk, and much to her surprise, the Nostalgia Critic was busy talking on his cell phone.

"Come on, Critic!" shouted the Angry Video Game Nerd as he concentrated his firing power on the Dramatic Chipmunk. "Give me some help!"

"I'm kind of busy!" answered the Nostalgia Critic as he continued talking on his cell phone. "What is it? No, I'm not interested in 50% off designer boxers. I also don't need discounts on Viagra."

"I really need some fucking support, Critic!" yelled the Angry Video Game Nerd as he dodged another laser from the Dramatic Chipmunk.

"You want me to listen to what?!" said the Nostalgia Critic to the salesperson on the phone. "No, no! Anything but that! And don't especially put it on full volume."

Without warning, a song of utmost delight and horror filled the entire warehouse from the cell phone, a song that will be remembered for all eternity.

"Life is like a hurricane, here in Duckburg. Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes-it's a duck blur. You might solve a mystery or rewrite history. Duck Tales, Oo-oo. Tales of daring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo."

"Stop it! Make it stop!" shouted the Dramatic Chipmunk as he fell off the mountain of crates and onto the floor.

The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd rushed towards the fallen animal, and after taking away his laser ray gun, pointed their guns towards him.

"We are the Internet Police. We are sworn to protect the internet from the scum of the web. And you're under arrest for attempting to poison Chicago's chipmunk population," said the Angry Video Game Nerd.

"You moronic apes," mocked the Dramatic Chipmunk. "I'm not trying to poison the chipmunks. I'm trying to hypnotize them with my special green liquid so they can rise up against their human masters and take over the world under a New Chipmunk Order."

"And why would you do that," asked the Nostalgia Critic, "especially since you're a prairie dog?"

"Because I just had it with belonging with my good for nothing prairie dog clan," answered the Dramatic Chipmunk. "I wanted to be a part of the chipmunk clan and aid in their rise against the human race. Through my ingenious plan, the chipmunks would become the masters of the animal kingdom over the puny humans. But most importantly of all, I wanted to contribute to the continuation of the Alvin and the Chipmunk series. There just can't be enough Squeakquels."

"I can sympathize with all of your goals," said the Nostalgia Critic, "except for more Alvin and the Chipmunk movies. I cannot agree with your sinister scheme to inflict these awful movies onto an unsuspecting public. I mean, we don't need more jokes about chipmunks eating poop. The Internet Police has caught you at last."

Aubrey watched as the two men placed the struggling creature into a glass cage. For one moment, she thought that the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd saw her from behind one of the crates, but to her relief, they appeared to not have noticed her. After the two men left the warehouse, Aubrey thought it was safe to return to her work station, and eventually, she sat back at her desk right besides Bob Smith.

"Where were you this whole time?" asked Bob.

"Oh nothing," said Aubrey with a wisp of irony. "The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd just arrested the Dramatic Chipmunk for attempting to hypnotize all of Chicago's chipmunks to create a New Chipmunk Order."

"Oh," said Bob in disbelief. "Well that happens every day, doesn't it."

"Yeah," said Aubrey with an awkward smile as she went back to work on the greeting cards.

In an apartment in Chicago's Little Italy, Aubrey was talking on the videophone with her sister Allison back in Brooklyn.

"Allison. You've got to believe me. I just saw the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd take down the Dramatic Chipmunk in which the little critter tried to kill them with a laser ray gun," said Aubrey as she animated her hands vividly to illustrate the absurdity of the situation.

"That's just crazy talk, Aubrey," replied Allison. "You must be really bored at your job to be coming up with preposterous stories like this."

Aubrey's heart sank as she realized that even her little sister also didn't believe her.

"Listen up, big sis. I know your new job is both stressful and tedious, but I know deep down in my heart that you will be able to put it all together through these times of economic turmoil. Just listen to this song by Lindsey Stirling to cheer you up."

As Lindsey Stirling's song Epic Violin Girl was playing in the background, Aubrey couldn't help but appreciate her little sister's attempt of cheering her up through playing Lindsey Stirling's songs, with this violinist being one of her sister's favorite YouTubers. But as the beats and the vibrating strings were entering Aubrey's ears, Aubrey still couldn't get the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd, two members of the supposedly secret Internet Police, out of her head.

"I have to go now," said Aubrey.

"Okay, big sis. Hope you're feeling better soon," said Allison.

With the videophone turned off, Aubrey began her search on the internet for information regarding the Internet Police. She ventured onto websites like YouTube, Know Your Meme, Wikipedia, and TV Tropes. In all of that time searching, she stumbled across an interesting character proliferated through the World Wide Web known only as Disaster Girl. According to the mythology of the internet, Disaster Girl was the harbinger of doom as she was present in photographs that chronicled events like the extinction of the dinosaurs, the rise of Nazi Germany, and the assassination of President Lincoln and Kennedy.

"Impossible," thought Aubrey to herself. "A cute, innocent girl like her would never do these heinous things."

Moving on from Disaster Girl, Aubrey soon found an article titled Balloon Boy Hoax.

"Ah. The Balloon Boy Hoax. The viral story of how a Colorado family tricked an entire world into believing the fantastic flight of a boy on a balloon," read Aubrey as she continued to gaze at the article.

The article had a photo of police investigators interrogating the father of the balloon boy, who was trying his best not to look guilty. In the corner of the picture were two figures investigating the remnants of the balloon involved in the stunt. Using the zoom feature on her laptop, Aubrey was able to identify the two individuals as the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd based on their physical appearances and their distinct style of clothing. In the picture, the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd were shaking their heads in disbelief over the balloon.

"So the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd are involved in affairs beyond just entertaining the masses," said Aubrey aloud.

The next day, Aubrey headed out to an Italian restaurant in Little Italy. She had made herself at home in this Chicago neighborhood as she was of Italian-descent herself and wanted to feel most at home with her heritage.

"I would like a slice of New York-style pizza please," requested Aubrey towards a waiter.

"I take it you're from Brooklyn," said the waiter. "I can tell from the slight accent in your voice."

"That's correct," said Aubrey. "Now can I please have some New York-style pizza?"

"Wouldn't it be best if you tried some Chicago-style pizza as an introduction to our beloved city, which is in many ways different from your native New York," insisted the waiter.

"I don't know. I'm not the adventurous type," said Aubrey.

"I can assure you that you would love a Chicago-style pizza," said the waiter. "Just give it a chance."

"Oh alright," answered Aubrey with a nervous smile.

The Chicago-style pizza was placed in front of Aubrey, which was deeper and thicker than a New York-style pizza. After a few moments of hesitation, she took a bite out of it, and much to her surprise, it tasted rather good and was comparable to a New York-style pizza in terms of quality.

"Maybe I should become more a risk-taker in life?" thought Aubrey as she continued to eat the Chicago-style pizza.

That opportunity of Aubrey taking more risks in her life would come as she was leaving the restaurant. A DeLorean was passing by the restaurant, and in it, Aubrey saw two men that looked just like the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd. With another opportunity to observe the Internet Police in action, Aubrey got into her car and drove after them. After a few hours of driving, she found herself at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. She followed the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd into the Presidential Library, and she soon found herself in the lobby where a class of elementary school students was on a field trip. As she passed by the congregation of students, she noticed that one of the girls looked remarkably familiar to Disaster Girl, who had a suspicious smile on her face.

"Must be a coincidence," thought Aubrey as she continued to pursue the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd through the museum. She eventually found them observing the Lincoln family in the museum's entry plaza.

"Don't you think of yourself as being like Abraham Lincoln," remarked the Angry Video Game Nerd. "After all, you and Abraham Lincoln are both tall and have remarkable facial hair.

"No. There's just no comparison," stated the Nostalgia Critic as he chuckled. "Abraham Lincoln was a good, kind man, and I'm a dirty, rotten bastard."

"Anyway, who are we looking for again?" said the Angry Video Game Nerd.

"We are looking for a notorious arsonist by the name of Disaster Girl," answered the Nostalgia Critic on his electronic tablet. "She has been connected to the Universal Studios Hollywood Backlot fire of 2008 and the attempted burning of both Mount Vernon and Monticello. If there is anyone competing for the title of the Modern Herostratus, it's her."

Realizing that she had indeed caught a glimpse of Disaster Girl, Aubrey hurried back to the class of students where Disaster Girl had been. To her horror, Disaster Girl was nowhere to be found.

"Excuse me. Where did one of your students go?" said Aubrey to the teacher supervising the class.

"Oh she decided to pay tribute to Abraham Lincoln by visiting the Treasures Gallery. Why do you ask?" answered the teacher.

Without much time to waste, Aubrey ran towards the Treasures Gallery to stop Disaster Girl from burning down Abraham Lincoln's legacy. She found herself in a room that displayed the Lincoln family's personal belongings, and in the midst of the exhibits, she saw Disaster Girl pouring kerosene onto the floor, evidently about to put the room on fire.

"Stop right there, little girl!" shouted Aubrey as she pointed her finger at Disaster Girl.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. An American who cares about Abraham Lincoln's legacy. Well looks like he will undergo a second assassination by the time I'm done," said Disaster Girl as she held a lit match.

"Freeze!" shouted the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd as they entered the Treasures Gallery, holding their guns towards Disaster Girl.

"Looks like you had some friends with you," said Disaster Girl with a sinister smile. "I guess we're at a stalemate right now. If any of you tries to shoot me, then I will drop this match and destroy everything in this room. It's on you if you bring about the destruction of Abraham Lincoln's legacy."

Just then, Aubrey realized the flaw in Disaster Girl's plan. The match in her hand could only burn for so long. Thus, if everyone played the waiting game, then the fire on the match would go out and be useless in setting fire to the room.

"Excuse me, Nostalgia Critic," said Aubrey to him.

"Not now, little girl," said the Nostalgia Critic as he continued to point his gun at Disaster Girl.

"I have an idea!" shouted Aubrey to the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd.

"Get out of this!" yelled the Angry Video Game Nerd as he aimed at Disaster Girl's head.

"It's really important!" shouted Aubrey again.

"I'm going to count to three," said the Nostalgia Critic to Disaster Girl. "If you don't put out that match, then I will shoot you.

"Just listen to me, Critic!" yelled Aubrey.

"One," counted the Nostalgia Critic.

"Think for one minute!" shouted Aubrey with much frustration.

"Two," counted the Nostalgia Critic again.

"For goodness sake, just stop!" insisted Aubrey.

"Three," said the Nostalgia Critic as he fired a shot at Disaster Girl. It missed.

"You missed," said Disaster Girl with glee as she dropped the match onto the kerosene-soaked floor.

The room was soon engulfed in flames as Disaster Girl disappeared without a trace.

"We failed in our mission!" shouted the Nostalgia Critic as he and the Nerd rushed out of the room. He then stared back at Aubrey and yelled, "And it's all your fault for following us the second time!"

Aubrey never felt so angry in all of her life, and as the smokes of the fire began to consume the room, Aubrey, in a moment of desperation, tried to save some of the artifacts displayed in the Treasures Gallery. She tried to break the glass cases to the artifacts, but unfortunately, they were unbreakable. With no way of retrieving the artifacts, Aubrey tried to escape from the room, but overwhelmed by the amount of smoke filling her lungs, Aubrey fell unconscious onto the floor.

"We are here at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum where a fire has just broken out," announced rising news reporter Brian Collins. He was staring at the burning inferno happening behind him as children and adults were rushing out of the building. "It looks like everyone has evacuated from the building."

Sitting guiltily in the DeLorean, the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd were contemplating their decision to leave behind Aubrey in the burning room.

"Do you think she could have escaped in time?" asked the Angry Video Game Nerd.

"I don't know," answered the Nostalgia Critic. "I just know that it's our fault if she dies. The Chief would kill us if she knew the details of our failed mission."

Just then, a group of firefighters were lifting up a young woman's body out of the Presidential Library, and they were placing an oxygen mask over her face.

"My goodness!" said Brian Collins as he rushed towards the firefighters administrating oxygen to Aubrey. He was holding his microphone to a firefighter. "What happened here!?"

"This young woman was found lying unconscious in the museum. She's lucky to be alive right now," answered the firefighter.

Looking at Aubrey's unmoving body, the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd looked ahead in shame as they drove the DeLorean back to Chicago.

"Where am I?" said Aubrey as she opened her eyes to a bright, white room.

Aubrey found herself in the hospital, where she had been unconscious for the past few days. The details of the fire at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum were flooding back as she watched a news clip of the incident.

"We don't know the details of what exactly happened that caused the fire at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum," said reporter Brain Collins to the camera. "But thankfully, everyone has make it out of here okay. Reporting for INN, this is Brian Collins saying Boom Goes the Dynamite for no particular reason."

The phone next to Aubrey's bed began to ring, which Aubrey promptly picked up.

"Hello," answered Aubrey. "Who is this?"

Aubrey would later regret this question.

"Why didn't you show up to work for the past few days!?" shouted Norman Albert, who was holding his megaphone to the telephone.

"I'm sorry if I just spent some time in the hospital after inhaling smoke from a fire started by a psychotic girl at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum," said Aubrey with a sassy voice. She wanted to get back at Norman Albert ever since she was employed at the Norman Greeting Card Company.

"For talking back at me and for the sake of balancing the company's budget, I formally fire you Aubrey Aiese from the Norman Greeting Card Company. Don't ever come back to the company again," said Norman through his megaphone.

Aubrey hanged up the phone and started to lie back down on her hospital bed. As the hours and days passed, Aubrey kept wishing to herself that she would be transported back in time to her simpler life with her family back in New York City.

"Your conduct at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum was completely unacceptable!" raged the Chief. "Why didn't you let this Aubrey girl help you on your mission?"

The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd were present in the Chief's office at the top of the Willis Tower, formerly known as the Sears Tower. The office was filled with antiques and artifacts from around the world. They ranged from African masks, Chinese paper lanterns, British tea cups, an aboriginal didgeridoo, a Peruvian panpipe, flags of the world, etc. The Chief, an African American woman dressed in colorful attire, was furious at both the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd for their botched mission to capture Disaster Girl.

"But she was distracting us from shooting Disaster Girl," retorted the Angry Video Game Nerd.

"Yeah. And she shouldn't have followed us for the second time after she knew what dangers were involved with Internet Police work," added the Nostalgia Critic.

"From what I could gather from the microphones I had secretly installed on your bodies, it looked like Aubrey had figured out that you just had to wait until the flame to the match went out, and with the match being burned completely without touching the floor, you would've had the opportunity to fire at Disaster Girl without repercussions," said the Chief in a matter of fact tone.

"Why didn't we think of that? We're such fucking idiots," said an exasperated Angry Video Game Nerd as he face palmed.

"Of course, Aubrey is just a civilian who wants to get herself into trouble for no apparent reason," stated the Nostalgia Critic.

"It appears that you two have forgotten the motto of the Internet Police, which is to protect the world from the scum of the web for the overall betterment of the human race. If we can't even trust the people we are entrusted to defend, then what's the point of the Internet Police in a society where we're not even a part of?" explained the Chief in retaliation to the Critic's statement. "It's exactly what our enemies want. They desire the complete schism between the public and the Internet Police, and by using the classic divide and conquer tactic, the scum of the web will finally reduce the internet into a barren wasteland of trolls and mindless entertainment. Both of your contempt of Aubrey is definitively a slippery slope towards the disintegration of the entire internet."

Having been delivered a clear and straightforward sermon from the Chief, both the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd stared blankly into the Chief's eyes as they dwelled on their ill treatment of Aubrey at the Presidential Library.

"Now I have the option of firing the both of you, but under these circumstances, I have something else in mind," said the Chief.

The opening of Chicago's Millennium Park was considered by many Chicagoans as a crowning moment of awesome, with the construction of the park heralding the arrival of the third millennium for one of America's greatest metropolitan areas. The once industrial wasteland now contained such landmarks like the Jay Pritzker Pavilion, the Crown Fountain, and the Chase Promenade. But the most unusual of these architectural wonders was the Cloud Gate, located near the McCormick Tribute Plaza. Resembling liquid mercury, Cloud Gate, affectionately nicknamed the Bean, was artist Anish Kapoor's masterpiece. And Aubrey was walking underneath the Cloud Gate as a witness to the Chicago skyline being reflected off the Cloud Gate at night.

"I wonder what Anish Kapoor intended the Cloud Gate to represent," whispered Aubrey to herself as she touched the structure with her bare hands. She was an aspiring artist who valued art in everyday objects, and the Cloud Gate was no exception. "It either represents the transubstantiation of one's self as one walks under its opening or a reflection of the spectator's world around him or her."

But before she could elaborate her thoughts on what the Cloud Gate represented, a figure came out of the darkness and towards her. Aubrey saw that it was the Angry Video Game Nerd. Unlike the first two instances, Aubrey had no intention of sticking around to witness what he would do. She decided to hide herself behind the Cloud Gate, hoping that he wouldn't have noticed her.

"Aubrey Aiese," said the Nerd. "I know you're behind there. I just want to talk to you."

However, Aubrey was unwilling to face the Nerd after what he and the Critic did to her back at the Presidential Museum, and so like a child playing a game of tag on the playground, she ran around the Cloud Gate in avoiding contact with the Nerd.

"Let's stop playing these childish games," insisted the Nerd as he ran to catch up with Aubrey, who was trying her best to not be anywhere near him. "I'll just say that it's all my fucking fault that you lost your job and almost lost your life."

Without warning, Aubrey stopped in her tracks to engage the Nerd in a conversation.

"You don't say," said Aubrey to the Nerd, of which he was looking guilty at the moment.

"I'm sorry not allowing you to give your advice to us in confronting Disaster Girl," stated the Nerd.

"You really think that a simple apology would erase everything you did to me on that day. Do you not realize the personal traumas I went through by being hospitalized and now unemployed. And what's more, the Nostalgia Critic didn't even have the proper decency of showing up here to at least try to apologize to me," said Aubrey with a derisive laugh.

"You're right, Aubrey," said the Nerd. "I can't get rid of all of the shit I did in the past. And believe me, there's tons of shit I'm not so proud of. But what I can tell you is this. We are all human, and we make mistakes. Life doesn't fuck around when we make mistakes. We can't just wallow in our own self-pity for the rest of our life. We must accept change immediately and reform ourselves. And from this day forward, I will always attempt to listen to other people's advice no matter how bizarre or outlandish they seem."

Just as the Nerd finished his statement regarding his flaws, Aubrey looked into her own mind and became more sympathetic towards the Nerd's apology to her.

"I also contributed to both you and the Critic messing up on the mission," admitted Aubrey as she became more open to the Nerd. "I should have just shouted my suggestion of letting the flame on the match run its course. Why wasn't I more assertive in myself when faced with the prospect of Disaster Girl destroying the Lincoln family's property? I'm a very meek person who prefers stability and avoids anything that would destroy the tranquility I so desired."

The few people left in Chicago's Millennium Park were oblivious to a life-changing conversation occurring between a nerd with glasses and a young, impressionable woman as they walked by them.

"I think I wanted to have some excitement in my life when I pursued both you and the Critic on your two missions. From what I saw, Internet Police work is extremely dangerous and life-threatening, and yet, I can't help but feel attracted towards it like a romantic lover in want of a life of adventure and escape. I was only angry at the Internet Police for my hospitalization and the lost of my old job, which I never really liked," said Aubrey with a sigh. "I would like nothing more than to become a member of the Internet Police and dive deeper into the frightening and beautiful world of the internet."

With these words, the Nerd pulled out something from his pen pocket and placed it into Aubrey's hand. Upon closer inspection, she saw an official Internet Police white I.D. with her picture on it, with the words HurricaneAubrey (her YouTube account name) emblazoned in blue letters. Beneath her Internet Police I.D. was a letter enclosed within a black envelope.

"Congratulations, HurricaneAubrey. You are now a member of the Internet Police, and I expect you to read that letter by tomorrow because your entire future and that of the internet is based on it," said the Nerd with a smile as he left Aubrey without another word.

As Aubrey saw the Nerd disappear into the darkness, she walked underneath the Cloud Gate once more, and emerging on the other side, she was breathing heavily as she felt like she had undergone a baptism of both body and mind.

"At the Cloud Gate, I have underwent a transfiguration into a new life, and in my reflection, I see what was once a timid girl just a few minutes ago become a confident woman who is ready to take on whatever wonders or horrors the internet has in store for me," remarked Aubrey, who was now going to be identified as HurricaneAubrey from now on.

HurricaneAubrey took one last glance at the Cloud Gate and understood its meaning: reality was more complex both physically and spiritually, and its inviting us to comprehend it by any means possible. HurricaneAubrey then walked out of the park as she kept sight of the lights being illuminated from Chicago's skyscrapers, in which they were witnesses to the newest member of an organization devoted to protecting the internet from the scum of the web.

Please review this story to provide me some advice on improving it. What other internet personalities or memes should the Internet Police encounter?