This fanfiction is going to be dark, so you know. A lot of difficult thoughts and emotions. Self hatred and so on.

Set some time before Avengers and Thor.

WARNING: May be a trigger.

The wind ripped through my hair and tore at my clothes.

I was only a few steps from the edge now.

It was high up too. At least 150 meters.

I looked out over New York city. All those people bustling about, minding their own business. I could hear the traffic loud and clear. The noises carried by the wind.

Suddenly a painful wave of anxiety rushed over me and I wrapped my arms around my stomach gasping slightly. The pain ached in my chest and my gut, until it finally subsided. Somewhat. It never completely disappeared.

Tears were streaming down my face. The strong wind drying them almost as soon as they spilled from my eyes.

I blinked hard, scowling.

I had decided to do this. I had walked up here. So I needed to finish what I had started.

I moved a little bit forward and peaked over the edge of the building.

I caught my breath at the sight of the long drop down to the pavement and instinctively recoiled. Fear surging through my whole body.

I forced myself to calm down, taking deep breaths. I needed to remind myself why i was doing this, otherwise i wouldn't dare to go through with it.

I closed my eyes, letting the images flood my mind.

A dark room. A looming shadow. A broken bottle. A wicked laugh. The basement. The tears. A blinding pain. A scream. Blood. On the kitchen floor..NO!

Startled, I opened my eyes again, pushing the image from my mind. I did not need to go there. Going there was bad. Only bad.

Instead, I started repeating all the now familiar sentences quietly to myself.

"Can't take it anymore. Need to get out of here. Nobody will care anyways. Completely worthless. Waste of space. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

I inched my way towards the edge again, careful not to look down this time. When i finally stood at the very edge, I closed my eyes tightly. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do this if they weren't shut as firmly as possible.

I breathed in deeply, tightening my black jacket around me, and before I could let the breath out, I stepped off the building.

Okay, first chapter was a bit short, the next will be longer. Let me know what you think. :)