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The Big Bang Theory
Chapter Fourteen
Perennial Alchemist

- mirage-

Thomas Baker had at one time been the general mechanic in Resembool for a period of three years. Now, as he explained, he worked for the locomotive industry. With some reminiscent chatter Pinako was able to tell a very sympathetic and convincing story about her sick grandson and get them back on the next train in a private booth free of charge. This was a marvelous thing.

With three hours journey left, Ed was worse now than he'd been. The vomiting had stopped, but when Pinako finally got a look at him, even she was repelled. He was pale, and his eyes were dark circles in his face. Racked with cold sweats, and shaking hard, he had graduated from being unable to walk, to unable to do anything including hold up his own head.

Alphonse, who managed to get his breast plate on independently, carried Ed to the train wrapped in a blanket. In the womens' bathroom, much to Ed's whining disgust, Pinako washed his face and neck, changed his shirt, and took his sneakers while Alphonse held him on the counter. Then she wrapped him up, and let the armor carry him.

Their train booth was economy seating, and although far from the luxury of first class, the privacy was a godsend. Ed was now living in a dream state, exhausted to the point his mind slid around like a runny egg. Winry was gravely concerned, and took to restlessly fidgeting at Pinako's side. Repeatedly she pitched tactics and suggestions to help Ed improve, but Pinako refused. Feeding and rehydrating Ed with his system this disrupted meant the odds were in favor he would react badly, and spew it everywhere. Heartless as it appeared, it was kinder he suffer the small tremors, fevers, and muscle aches for the last three hours than any alternative.

In the train car, Pinako positioned Alphonse's untiring arms into a cradling frame for Ed, and laid him inside the cavern. Ed was completely disoriented, and Alphonse was eager to help as much as he was hesitant. His metal unfeeling arms were cold hostile surfaces to Ed's tender flesh body, but Pinako assured him things would be all right. She packed Ed's blanket in tight, told Alphonse to keep Ed's head elevated, and then sat back with a watchful eye. Periodically Ed would whine or moan, but otherwise he lay still with an ice pack on his head.

When they arrived in Resembool the platform of the rural station was desolate, and having missed their ride hours ago, they left walking with it growing dark. Winry held Pinako's hand, but with exhaustion, used the grip to rest half her weight, and things were difficult. Shortly into the walk that would last two hours and forty minutes, Pinako attached their bags to Alphonse's indifferent body, and for the last half a mile, carried Winry. When she unlocked her front door she trudged in feeling her age in every bone and muscle.

Alphonse followed, but stopped in the threshold with something of confusion. "Should I put Nii-san to bed?" The evenings routines were destroyed.

Nodding, Pinako set Winry down, and Winry staggered blindly toward the stairs half asleep and eyes closed. Then she followed Alphonse to Post Surgical, and watched the massive armor gently lower Ed to the bed like a newborn.

"I hate to say it," Pinako confessed. "But I am just too tired to bathe him." Careful not to jostle Ed, she unwrapped him from his blanket and moved him into the sheets. "He's just going to have to sleep like this till morning." The absence of his nightly routine wouldn't inhibit him at this stage in the game. It wasn't preferable, but Ed was out cold, and handling him without his participation was something Pinako didn't think she had the strength for after the long walk. With a disinfectant rag she did her best to wipe down his hand, face, and arms. Then she took his jeans and left him in his tee shirt and boxers.

Running a loving hand through Ed's bangs, Pinako apologized to Alphonse, and sounding thankful all the same, he said, "It's okay, Granny."

"Tonight you'll have a very important job, Tin Can," Pinako said kindly. She tossed a few pill bottles onto Ed's bed. "I don't want to wake him, but he won't sleep through the night." She pointed to the bottles. "When he wakes, help him take one pill from every jar." She added a bottle of Ed's lotion to the pile. "Then rub lotion everywhere around his automail ports, and down his right side." Alphonse nodded eagerly, anxious to help and prove he could. "Finally, take a cup from the kitchen, and help him slowly drink an entire glass of water, no matter what."

"I can do it, Granny. If I need help, I'll come wake you."

Pinako gave the armor's large metal arm several approving pats. "Okay," she said, with a soft smile. "If everything I said doesn't get done, come wake me, and if Ed needs something different, come wake me."

She fell into a deep sleep the second she hit her pillow.

The next morning Pinako uncharacteristically woke with it approaching ten and found that everyone else, save for Alphonse, was still asleep. There was time for her to wash, dress, and begin a pie before Ed woke up approaching eleven. Looking groggy and confused, he was quiet, but with proper sleep and medication was chipper when she brought him lunch.

Pinako found him sitting up in bed, and he reached for his tray on sight, asking, "When did we get back?"

"Good morning to you too." Pinako set the tray on Ed's lap and tousled his hair.

He was barely able to mumble a polite, "morning," as he began shoveling things in. Yesterday's illness had not resulted from the buttered toast, and this morning, while staring into her refrigerator contemplating things, Pinako decided she was going to expedite Ed's diet gradation. It was ahead of schedule, and perhaps unwisely so, but he wanted to eat, and with all of his other timeframes violated, it seemed idiotic to keep this one so firmly. So she cut up an apple, made oatmeal with figs and blueberries, lightly buttered a piece of toast, and prepared some diluted orange juice.

Ed was so thrilled, he was too busy trying to eat everything at once to manage a single compliment. "How did we get back?" he asked, trying to fit an apple slice into his already full mouth.

"We managed a connecting train, and then took the waiting limousine."

Ed was chewing manically, but stopped long enough to ask, "What's a lim-bo-zeen?"

"We walked," Pinako said dryly. "We got back late, everyone went to bed late, and everyone is still in bed." Ed seemed unimpressed. "Ed, I want you on bed rest today, since yesterday was so taxing." Ed averted his eyes with something of fresh embarrassment. He wanted to forget yesterday. "I am going to bring a pie down to Mr. Fitzgerald as a thank you for letting us use his wagon, and then standing him up."

"It wasn't my fault we were late," Ed said sourly.

Pinako ignored this. "Stay in bed, please."

"Okay."

She strengthened her tone. "Stay in bed, Ed."

"All right."

"Edward Elric." Pinako scolded, suspicious with his placating lies.

"I'll stay in bed!" Ed began a playful, but annoyed slap of his toast into the top of his oatmeal. "I will rest!" Ed ate another apple slice and wiped at the crumbs on his face while Pinako stood giving him a long silent stare. She was skeptical, but what could she do. She left with her pie.

Departing at noon with Winry still dead asleep, and Ed watched Pinako go from the Post Surgical window. Reaching the dirt road she was not yet on her second step, when Ed slid out of bed and left searching for Alphonse.

Outside there was the distant sound of wood being chopped, and Ed exited onto Pinako's deck and looked at the diligent suit of armor chopping away. "Hey Alphonse!" he called grinning. "It's not winter!"

Alphonse paused mid swing, and the metal head swiveled toward the deck, before he cheered, "Nii-san!" Ed stood smiling in his tee shirt and underwear, the automail arm and leg glistening in the sun. "You look so much better!" Alphonse abandoned the woodpile in a well-controlled walk to the house. The noise of him was significantly organized, with his limbs managed, and his movements smooth.

"Look at you," Ed congratulated, gesturing to Alphonse's stroll. The distance exaggerated the capable skill, and Alphonse kept even footfalls thrilled with himself.

"I know!" Alphonse said happily.

"How much wood are you chopping?"

"I can stop." Alphonse followed Ed inside, and Ed returned to Post Surgical and went to the lavatory to run himself a bath. "You looked really sick yesterday, Nii-san."

"I feel better now." Ed peeled out of his clothes. "Just dirty." Alphonse watched Ed climb into the tub with both the automail and flesh limbs in a symphony of normality. Ed didn't slip, his balance was strong, and his hands moved seamlessly from one support rail to the other until he was sitting in the filling tub with a wide smile. "I love this bathtub," Ed confessed, grinning. "When we get one, I want to have one just as deep."

From upstairs Winry called out for Pinako sounding half asleep, before the patter of her feet descended the stairs. With the lavatory door open, both brothers looked to Ed's vacant bed when Winry's footfalls came directly to Post Surgical and stopped. In her nightgown and sparkly slippers, Winry's eyes widened with Ed's absence, and she grabbed her head squeaking out a sound of panicked surprise, before calling, "Grandma?" Then she ran from the room. "Grandma!"

Alphonse shifted uncertainty where he knelt alongside Ed's tub, and Ed and Al exchanged glances, before Ed whispered, "Go get my bathing suit." Alphonse did, and Ed slid it on to the sound of Winry searching the house for Pinako.

When he was fully dressed, both brothers began calling for her, and Winry arrived wiping tears of fret from her face. She trudged into Ed's lavatory sniffling, and upon realizing Ed was safe, and sitting in the tub with an ear-to-ear smug grin, Winry's expression curled into a perplexed frown of accusation, and silenced for a long moment of shock. Alphonse sat at the tubs side like a guilty accomplice, and softly Winry's whined, "I—I can't believe you two let me worry like that." Her breath still hitching. "I—I thought something awful had happened! I thought…"

Ed gave a conceited little grunt. "Really worried about me, huh?" he asked grinning.

Winry's look of shock fell into a dark frown. "Where is Grandma?"

"She took a pie to Mr. Fitzgerald," Ed said. He dipped below the water's surface to wet his hair, and Winry took an uncomfortable step back. She kept a polite distance, but Ed noticed. He resurfaced, spitting a string of water through his teeth, and laughed. "I am wearing my suit," he said, snickering.

Winry's concern was gone with a small and simple, "oh." Looking pleasant, even while giving her sniffling nose one last rub, she went to the tub and sat on the side with her legs in the water. "How are you feeling today?" she asked.

Ed was washing his hair, and scrubbing the bubbled mess of it he shot Winry and irritated glance. "Fine," he said irritably.

"You really went nuts yesterday," Winry said, lifting her eyebrows. "You've gone a little nuts before, but that was intense." She turned to Alphonse swooning. "I am so glad you were there, Alphonse. You kept it so together. It was so impressive."

Alphonse laughed softly. "Did I really?"

"What!" Ed slapped his hands to the water. "I kept it really together too!" He glanced between Winry's dreamy smile and the optimistic perk that seemed to have lifted the armor, and yelled, I was really sick!"

"Alphonse took such good care of you." Winry complimented.

"I don't need people to take care of me!" Ed yelled, dunking under to rinse his hair. No one refuted the obvious lie and Ed stood up, dripping. "I've got this under control," he said, reaching up to his hair and squeezing about the strains. The automail's metal fingers curled in like a clamp, pressing them free of excess water. "I know what I am doing." Ed pointed to the cabinet. "Alphonse, towel."

Alphonse handed over a fluffy yellow bundle, and Winry left to change while Ed dried and cared for himself. With something of habitual instinct he lotioned himself thoroughly, slipped into boxers, and stretched everything he was supposed to. Cheerful, Alphonse kept constant chatter as Ed worked his muscles, and dressed himself. Easing each article on carefully, he fit his tee shirt over his head, slid into shorts, managed to button his pants, and stepped into flip flops with Alphonse preparing his medication. The armor's fat fingers struggled with the tiny pill bottles, and floundered worse with the tiny pills, but Ed was patient. He took the single liquid dose Pinako had listed, and wandered to the kitchen for a glass of water. On sight of a man standing at their screen door he stopped dead.

In Resembool there was no reason to secure your doors or even shut the windows. Pinako left the children in an unlocked house, with the back kitchen door open and the screen door only latched. There the man stood like a tall dark tree. So close he could have pressed his nose against it.

He was a young soldier, adorned in the military's blue uniform, white gloves, and hat. With no weapon visible, there was nothing strongly identifiable about him. His stance was comfortable, his hair a solid jet black, and with an approachable face, seemed to be alone.

When the man spoke, his tone was inviting, but the make of his voice was strong. "Are your parents home?"

Ed didn't answer and he didn't move. He stared back at the man, wide eyed.

"Are your parents here?" the soldier repeated, giving a glance about the visible kitchen. "I just need to ask them a question. I am looking for someone."

Winry entered the kitchen in a sundress and sandals. She approached Ed opening conversation, but on sight of the stranger, silenced, and nervously shrunk behind Ed's back.

Ed felt her grip the back of his tee shirt, and he glanced over his shoulder. Winry's expression was tense with worry, and her eyes looked bright. Previously unsure how to proceed, Winry's anxiety gave Ed fuel, and he turned back to the man glaring.

"There's no one here," Ed said firmly. "Come back later.

"Will your parents be back soon?" the soldier asked. Ed kept silent. "I am looking for the family that lives next door." The man pointed toward the rolling hills where the Elric house was nestled into the blue sky and green grass. "Do you know where they are?"

Ed's narrowed his gaze angrily. "No, I don't."

Winry was peeking over Ed's shoulder, and the soldier looked to her. "Maybe your sister knows."

Winry answered quickly, voice rushed with something of offense and the simple desire to speak. "I am not his sister!" The soldier seemed confused by this.

"You should go," Ed said. He took a step forward and brushed Winry off when she grabbed at his flesh arm. "There's no one here you're looking for." She tried to cling to his shirt, fearful of him approaching the stranger, but he left her in a quick stomp to the screen door. "The family next door is dead," Ed said, tone thick with bitter emotion. "That's what I heard." Winry stayed behind, nervously clutching her hands beneath her chin. "That everything valuable was lost."

The soldier's face was shrouded with the sun shining down from behind him. It made his features soft, and slowly the man grew a wry cocky smile.

"You're awfully young to have automail," the soldier said. Ed did his best to keep a strong unapproachable expression. "I have traveled a long way." The man leaned down, resting his hands on his knees, and peering at Ed face-to-face through the screen. In thoughtful silence, he studied Ed's frowning features, and Ed's gaze narrowed cautiously. The soldier's eyes were chivalrous, but confident, as if the man held a great deal of power. "I've been looking for a man with blonde hair and powerful eyes," in the warm day a bird called, and a subtle breeze caused the man's bangs to dance, "…and I am starting to think," the man lowered his voice to a whisper, "that you kind of look like him."

Ed stepped back and slammed the kitchen door in the soldier's face.

"Alphonse!" Ed cried, running to the front door and locking it. "There's a weird man here!"

"What Nii-san!" Alphonse called, coming quickly from Post Surgical.

"There's a weird guy looking for dad outside," Ed said, glancing about to make sure the window's were closed.

"We can't let him in when Granny's not home!" Alphonse cried, following Ed back to the kitchen. Winry was kneeling under the low kitchen window peeking out.

"I know," Ed agreed. "We just have to wait for him to go. He should leave." Ed snuck to Winry's side and looked onto the deck.

The soldier had relocated to their outdoor furniture and was sitting calmly at their table under the opened umbrella. He looked to be relaxed and enjoying the view of Resembool's rolling hills. The country air was sweet, and in the distance a flock of sheep were grazing. Their fluffy bodies dotting the green pastures like white dandelions.

The man took a deep cleansing breath, smiling peacefully to himself, before looking to the lemonade Pinako had set out. Giving his lips a lick, the man poured himself a cup, and Winry gasped in shock. "He's drinking our lemonade!"

"What an asshole," Ed said fiercely. He stomped to the closed kitchen door and yelled at the man. "You're trespassing on our property! Get lost or I'll blow your head off!"

The soldier glanced lazily toward the closed door. He appeared unconcerned with the threats, and Ed returned to Winry's side and fumed with the sight of the man pleasantly sipping from his glass.

"Alphonse," Ed said, "Go get the shotgun."

"No!" Winry cried, instantly on her feet. "No, Ed. Grandma says you can't touch it!"

"Well, what are we going to do with him!"

"Let's just stay inside until he leaves!" Winry said, nodding in support of her own suggestion. "That should be okay." Ed rolled his eyes and turned to Alphonse to complain, when they came to realize a low muffling was coming from outside. "Do you hear that?" Winry whispered.

Silently, they snuck back to the window and peeked out together.

The soldier was talking, and he called an amiable, "I only want to talk!" He stood, took off his uniform jacket, gloves, belt, hat, previously hidden gun, and loosened the top of his dress shirt. The action deliberately disarmed him. Eroding the branding symbol of bullying authority to his appearance, and transforming him into an agreeable construct of commonality.

"Oh, maybe he's nice," Winry said optimistically.

"Maybe he wants to rob us and steal you," Ed retorted angrily. Winry sunk below the window ledge looking worried. "He doesn't get in," Ed said. "I'll go out. Alphonse, you stay here and guard Winry." Alphonse nodded. "Lock the door behind me."

Ed snuck out the front door with Alphonse whispering words of caution before rushing back to Winry. Alone she had retrieved several stuffed animals, and was hugging a floppy bunny and fat pig when he returned. Kindly, she offered him a stuffed turtle, and Alphonse took it and waited at her side. Together they watched the man sit sipping his lemonade before Ed came around the side of the house and seemed to appear suddenly.

Standing in the grass squinting in the sun, Ed trained a dirty look on the man, and it only took the stranger a single sip to notice. Then a wide smile graced his face.

"Would you like a drink?" the soldier gestured to the lemonade pitcher.

"That's ours," Ed said angrily. He advanced and his steps were quick and capable until he met the deck stairs. There Ed limped, and doing his best to keep his appearance tough, couldn't completely hide the injured way he handled inclines. Sitting up with a modest concern, the solider noticed, but Ed continued with snide disregard, and stomped onto the deck. "Leave," he said, thrusting a point toward the hills. "You're trespassing on our property."

"Is this your property?" the soldier asked, smartly. "If that girl inside is not your sister, this is either her property, or your property." Ed snarled silently, and the soldier chuckled. "Frowning does not become you," the man teased kindly. "Why are you so angry?"

"Because your trespassing."

"Yes, you country people have something against that, don't you." The soldier gave a heavy sigh, and pulled a small card from his pocket. He offered it, and Ed made a point of ignoring the gesture for a long silent moment of glaring. Then he went forward and snatched it. The move was evasively quick and followed with quick cautious steps backward, keeping a safe distance between them. Backpedaling Ed looked at the small white card and flipped it to discover both sides were blank.

"What is this?" Ed asked with confusion.

"My card," the soldier said, sounding pleased. "Although I never could determine how I wanted to introduce myself. I can't decided if I should list my name, or my title, first. One way seems so conceded, and yet the other is too humble." Leery, Ed slid into the furthest seat from the man and kept his weight at the very edge. The soldier continued, unbothered. "Now I keep them blank. Good for notes." This pass at humor meant nothing to Ed, and the soldier fell silent. He stared out at the brilliant country side and wandering sheep with the satisfaction of one obtaining their prize after a long search. "My name is Roy Mustang," he said, announcing himself with a natural self-possession. "I am a colonel. This means I work for the military."

Ed grunted and tossed the empty card onto the table. "I know what that means," Ed said sourly. "We do know how to read and write out here."

"That's good." Mustang ignored Ed's tone. "Then you should know where this came from." Mustang took an opened envelope from his pocket and slid it across the table. It was a small, badly abused, and almost entirely hidden beneath Mustang's large fingers until the man lifted his palm, but Ed recognized it immediately. It was his, and he stared at his scribbled eight-year-old handwriting penning the address across the front and didn't know what to do. "It was sent to me," Mustang said. "From a child."

"How do you know that?" Ed asked, looking up quickly with surprise.

Mustang smiled. "Lucky guess." He took letter back. "I have been looking for Hohenheim of Light for a long time. Then I received this, and learned his family wag searching for him as well. His son in particular." Mustang turned his gaze back out to the grass and vegetation, casually tapping the envelope to the table in an even distracted beat. "From the looks of him I'd say he's not very happy with the man for leaving." Something about this caused a hint of a smile to appear in Mustang's face, and he turned to Ed. "But this does mean he did not die, as rumor has it."

"Then you've met the guy's son?" Ed asked, nervously.

"I have."

Something of puzzled arrogance came to Ed's face, and he muttered a triumphant sound of uncertainty. The flesh fingers moved to the metal, and fiddled. "You've…" Ed said, gaze squinting with heavy thought. "…already met him?" There was a tone of skepticism as much as there was relief. "Met the guy's son?"

"I have."

Ed's expression broke in a supercilious grin. The foolish military was chasing a ghost. "So what's he look like? This guy's son?"

Mustang took the question with a delicate pause before letting his eyes visually sweep Ed's body. The move was as eloquent as it was obviously exaggerated, and Ed stiffened, becoming frazzled with the intended scrutiny. "Blonde," Mustang said. "Short, frowns a lot…not a happy child."

Ed squirmed back in his chair, rushed with frustration and alarm, and Mustang laughed kindly. "Why—why did you come here?" Ed asked viciously. He grabbed either armrest in preparation to run. "What do you want from me!"

"Not what I want," Mustang corrected. "Your father was a talented man, and I believe this too means you're talented." Ed sent a shaky glance toward the kitchen window, and Mustang took note. "As a child, you performed human transmutation and lived."

Ed's eyes bulged with horror, and he stammered, "I—I—I did not!" He leapt to his feet panicking. " Who said that! I didn't perform human-nothing! They're lying!"

"And they?" Mustang asked, calmly. "Or are you?" With a slow and calculating movement he picked up the hat he had discarded and fit it on slowly. "You can relax," Mustang said. "If I were here to arrest you, I would have done it."

"But I didn't do it!" Ed insisted throwing an adamant point at Mustang. "You can't prove anything!"

"To perform this task and live is an amazing thing." Mustang reached forward and pulled his business card to himself. "If you ever want a job, come see me." He uncapped a ball point pen and scribbled onto the card. "I'll be clear," he said, rising to his feet. "I just offered you a job." Stunned, Ed picked the business card up looking disoriented. He stared at it while Mustang collected his belongings, and pocketed his gloves, before pointed to the card. "See?" he said, patting Ed's head as he passed by. "Good for notes."

Mustang left the deck and rounded the house with Ed staring at the name and number scrawled in brilliant penmanship. A job? The idea his filthy mistake could turn into anything else was foreign to him, and he muttered a barely audible, "wait," before realizing Mustang had left. "Wait!" Ed cried, hobbling up and down the deck stairs as fast as he could. "Wait!"

Mustang paused on Pinako's slate walkway. Up ahead in the dirt road a shining black car sat idling. It had the effect of a stallion waiting for the man.

Ed ran about the side of the house haphazardly and tripped. Mustang watched, expecting Ed to scramble back to his feet and continue yelling, but Ed took falls seriously, and didn't move. He went down hard, the automail knee catching the lip of a stone and tugging sharply on his still sensitive port. In chaotic panic, Ed grabbed at his thigh and the still healing wound as if it would be torn out. He hugged it to his chest, and sitting in the grass gritting his teeth began a fast enduring rock, waiting for the sting to fade.

The scene suggested a significant injury, and Mustang stepped forward with immediate concern. "Are you all right?" he asked. When Ed didn't answer, Mustang looked toward his waiting car, hesitated uncertainty, and then went to Ed's side. "Were you injured just now?" He knelt down, setting his uniform top to the grass, and tried to assess the situation. "How recent was your surgery?" A fresh surgery could mean a very serious wound. "Do I need to get someone for you?"

Ed's world was, for the moment, a place of bright pain, and he was unaware of everything but his singing knee. Lost in deep coping breaths he didn't understand Mustang's suggestion he relocate to a safe surface, or the man's offer to help him back to the deck, he only understood the man was directly in front of him, and while planning to scoot away to place space between them, an arm suddenly looped about his back.

"I'll help you up," Mustang said. Keeping a watchful eye for visible injury. "To the deck." He slid an arm about Ed's beck, and the second under Ed's healthy knee, but Ed went wire hard. The sudden change caused Mustang to stop, and he looked to Ed with puzzled alarm, but Ed screamed.

Louder than Mustang thought a child capable, Ed howled the name Alphonse so loud it scared him. Frantic, he quickly reassured, "I am not going to hurt you!"

"Alphonse!"

Mustang uncurled his arms, and settled Ed's weight back to the grass, focusing to keep his mannerisms unthreatening, when a loud rattling began approaching. The sound was so absolutely foreign Mustang looked about in confusion, before from the front of the house, with amazing speed, a man in a suit of armor came charging into the lawn.

The sight was enough to stop you, and Mustang stood in shock, and took a step back. The heavy metal armor flew with an intimidating grace that seemed inhuman for the man inside it. It closed the distance in seconds, and lifting his hands in a universal gesture of surrender, Mustang said the only thing that came to him. "I apologize." The armored man stopped short, ten feet from them, but he was massive. "He fell." Quickly Mustang gathered his uniform jacket, and took a step back. The armored man didn't speak, but he stood vigilant and ready. "Forgive me," Mustang said, shrugging into his jacket. The young girl had appeared on the deck hugging some stuffed toys, and she stared at them looking frightened. Mustang gave a polite bow. "Have a good day."

They watched him leave. When Mustang approached the black car a blonde woman in the back opened the door for him, and he stepped in seamlessly. It left with impressive speed, and stood out like a piece of onyx in sand. The trail of it was a cloud of dust, and Alphonse looked to Ed as soon as things seemed safe.

The movement of his metal helmet was fast and sharp, and sounding wild he cried, "What happened, Nii-san!"

Sitting in the grass studying the business card, and casually rubbing his thigh, Ed looked up with a sheepish smile, and said, "Sorry, Al." He began carefully pushing himself to his feet. "He tried to pick me up so I yelled."

Winry gasped with horror. "Was he trying to kidnap you!" She was squeezing a lopsided stuffed bunny, and its long ears were dangling onto the deck.

"I don't think so," Ed said, falling quiet with contemplation, before breaking a bright grin. He held up the business card so Alphonse could see it, and said, "He gave me his phone number!"

Alphonse was stunned, but Winry broke into giggles, and sang, "Ed has a boyfriend! Ed has a boyfriend!"

"Shut up!" Ed yelled, pushing the card into his pocket. Winry continued singing and dancing, but Ed turned to Alphonse with a solemn expression. "He offered me—well—us, a job," Ed said. "He got one of the letters we sent out to find dad."

"I saw it in the window," Alphonse said quietly.

"What should we do?" Ed asked, staring up at the armor.

Alphonse looked out at the road thoughtfully. In the sunlight his armor looked impressive, polished and gleaming, and sounding empowered with skillful confidence, he said, "Lets get stronger."

Ed loved this answer, and smiled from either ear before looking angrily to Winry who had moved to a new song, and was singing, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Ed bolted for the deck. "First comes love, then comes…" Winry ran screaming when Ed hobbled violently up the stairs yelling at her.

Pinako arrived home wearing her large summer hat and carrying her now empty basket, and stopped on sight of the kids in the yard.

Winry had a scrap of paper held high above her head and was running full speed with Ed after her limping badly. "I'll call your boyfriend! I'll call your boyfriend!" Winry sung, skipping as she went, and laughing so hard she was oblivious to Pinako's arrival. The children were engrossed, and when Winry passed by, Pinako snatched the paper and Winry stopped. With healthy legs Winry stalled almost immediately, and looked back at Pinako with shocked surprise, but Ed couldn't do the same. He tried, flapping his arms and staggering with his flesh leg, before plowing Winry to the ground.

They fell together in a heap, and Ed was pushing himself up at once. "Give that to me!" he yelled, climbing off Winry who lay whining in the grass. Pinako read the scribbled name and number, and at first it meant nothing, and then she remembered the name: Roy Mustang, Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang, the military dog. They were after Ed.

"This is mine." Pinako tucked the business card into her basket and Ed went wild.

"What!" Ed yelled, rushing to her side panting. "Granny, it's mine! He gave it to me!"

"Give back Ed's boyfriend's number!" Winry teased, laughing. Ed became grabby with the basket, and Pinako shewed his hands off, and left up the deck. "Ed, if you don't want to be his boyfriend, can I be his boyfriend?" Winry asked laughing.

"Shut up, Winry!" Ed and Winry followed Pinako.

"Could you at least ask him if he likes blondes?"

"No! Shut up!"

"Please, Ed!"

"You can't take it, Granny!" Ed cried. Winry's questions were slowing Ed down, and he shoved her away from him. Consumed in play Winry was giggling and crowding Ed at Pinako's side. "That's not fair! You can't just take things!"

"I am taking it as punishment," Pinako said. Ed silenced, and his expression went blank with stunned confusion. Pinako entered the kitchen and he followed, limping softly, and gathering what to say.

It took him longer than she thought for him to find it, but then it came in a loud demanding, "For what!"

"For lying." Pinako set her basket down on the counter with an angry slap, and turned sharp eyes to him. Ed flinched with the look, and adapted a guilty nervous stare. "And what did we talk about earlier, Edward?" Pinako asked angrily. She pointed to Post Surgical. "Get'cha self in bed the way ya'd told me ya'd stay, this minute!"

Ed left whining and swearing to himself, and later when Pinako checked on him, she found he'd thrown himself into bed and buried his head beneath his pillow, but fallen fast asleep. With a sniff, she covered him, and smiling softly to herself muttered, "That's what I thought," before shutting the door behind her.

Pinako took the Colonel's message and tucked it between the cutting boards in her pantry. She couldn't rightfully destroy it, because she knew Edward's mind. He would come looking for it, and when he found it, he would have to make the next decision for himself.

Ed improved everyday, and a week later Pinako took notice when she caught him in the middle of play with Winry. With the sun high and the weather warm, they were making laps around the pool chatting and laughing, before holding hands and jumping in. Edward's movements were quick, controlled, and human. The metal wasn't fumbling or shaking, it was a perfect imitation of his flesh, and Pinako found his recovery amazing. Ed was not just healthy, he was strong. He used his limbs and loved them. Pinako found him climbing trees, punching things into oblivion, kicking, jumping, running. Edward was a mess of verbs, and he didn't stop. He ate, and ate, and ate, and at night slept in Winry's room with Alphonse. He didn't want to be in Post Surgical anymore, and with discharge, Pinako couldn't find a reason to keep him there. So she set up a cot at the bottom of Winry's bed and Ed moved in. Some days this worked well, and there was harmony. On others they'd draw lines on the floor to divide the room. Angry, Ed would start throwing dolls, and Winry would scream at the top of her lungs.

For what it was worth even fighting was an improvement for Pinako. Ed no longer needed help caring for himself, or grew ill. He returned to all solid food, although Pinako gave them to him slowly to be safe. He continued his routines, maintaining his skin care so the metal adapted well, and continued his physical therapy with enthusiasm. He gained new flexibility and progressed to high kicks and forward thrusts that thrilled him. Every day he reduced in his dosages, weaning off entire medications, and growing closer to what he could expect for the rest of his life. Automail was the kind of thing that generated prescriptions, and when he was all said and done Pinako would write him several to have on hand. Like every other automailee, he would need muscle relaxers and occasional pain killers that you just couldn't get over the counter.

The only new addition to Ed's routine was compensation for his sudden nearly absorbent sleep need. Pinako rectified this, despite Ed's protests, with a mandatory daily nap.

For the time being, independent in his private care and with his diet almost entirely unregulated, he hated his naps, and tried to hide and argue his way out of it every day. Commonly Pinako found herself having to fetch him, drag him to the living room couch, and force him down. Ed could put up a tremendous fight, and would lay swearing convincingly that he wouldn't sleep, and wasn't tired, before surrendering. It usually took no more than ten minutes, and then for two hours he would lay snoring into his pillow.

It wasn't the idea of becoming tired, or even having to deal with the exhaustion for Ed that caused such disruption, it was the humiliation. His naps uprooted him from play and required he come inside to lay down while Alphonse and Winry stayed outside that crossed the line. He found it all so belittling Pinako added naps to her mental list of his preferences directly under anal probing, but still made him take them anyway.

Three weeks after returning home from the city, on a Wednesday, all three children were outside playing. This nameless game posed Winry as a queen and she was wearing her bathroom robe, a crown, and gaudy dress-up high heels in the grass. Up until nap time Ed was the knight, and was carrying around a wooden sword and wearing rain boots. Alphonse, who consistently struggled with dress-up attire, wore one of Winry's doll blankets wedged into the armor's neckline to serve as a cape.

In this game there were invisible monsters, and at random Ed would charge from the small fort they had created yelling to Alphonse for back up. The children were so entertained Pinako missed one o'clock, Ed's normal nap time, and let them play all the way to three. Then while working on the blueberry custard she'd serve for dessert Pinako noticed Ed sitting in the fort with Winry instead of fighting monsters with Alphonse. He looked half asleep even while still attempting to play, and Pinako scolded herself for being such an old woman she let one stubborn boy manipulate her, and went to get him.

"Edward!" Pinako called to him from the deck, and he looked over. Alphonse had strung three sheets to the laundry line to serve as the fort, and inside it with Ed Winry was painting her nails. While completing this task Ed now wore her bathrobe and crown. Pinako started nicely, and said, "Come inside, Ed." Always she forced herself to ask nicely, but Ed broke into a mess of cautious anger.

"What for!" he demanded. Pinako resisted the irritation she felt flare. Ed was upset already and started breathing quickly fisting his little hands at his sides.

"For a drink." Pinako lied.

"Liar!"

"Get in this house now, boy!" Pinako gave the back screen door a solid shove so it would open entirely and stay. Ed stood up furious, and threw Winry's crown at her, before storming for Pinako.

"Wait! My robe!" Winry cried. Ed stomped back and gave it to her, before leaving the boots as well. Then he came in just his shorts and tank top glaring at Pinako. She waited, pinning an unwavering gaze on him. She knew things wouldn't be this easy. Ed never obeyed the first or second time she asked.

"I am not tired. I can stay out." Ed was negotiating the second he made it to the deck. Out of earshot, and with things private, he spoke honestly. "Please? I'll go to bed earlier." Winry sat in the fort, now wearing her robe and crown with cotton balls in her toes, watching. "Please?" Ed whispered. Pinako considered it. For a brief moment his heart-breaking little face made her want to cave, before she took hold of herself.

"To the couch," Pinako ordered. Ed fumed in under her arm. "Go get'cha blanket and pillow!" she called after him.

Alphonse came running to the deck, as always seconds behind Ed as if they were invisibly tethered together. "Granny, can we come and play inside so Nii-san's not lonely?" Alphonse asked.

Pinako left for her custard with the armor following her. With everyone heading in Winry stood up in the fort. She picked up her doll and long wrench, which was serving as a scepter, and started managing through the grass in her heels. "We can read, or do puzzles, or…" Alphonse was listing things when Winry arrived with heels clicking on the kitchen tile. Ed returned stomping down the stairs and entered the kitchen with his pillow and blanket looking hideously angry.

"Ed, how long are you going to sleep for?" Winry asked, blowing on her nails. "I wanted to do that frog game with Alphonse."

"I am not going to sleep, because I am not tired! The old woman's crazy!" Ed yelled, pointing at Pinako with his pillow. He wasn't done with his argument, and moved closer to the back door, wanting freedom, while continuing. "I can't recover if I don't use my limbs, you said so yourself!" He was angry, before something of a whine broke, and he turned to Winry, and added, "and don't do the frog game without me, Winry! I am playing that too!"

Pinako pointed to the living room, with a loud instructing, "Couch!" and Ed threw his pillow down and stomped to it yelling at them. "Winry and Alphonse, go back outside. Every time you say you'll be quiet, and every time you aren't. Now go, he needs to sleep," Pinako said firmly.

"Why can't they stay!" Ed yelled, running back to the kitchen as Pinako ushered everyone out. "You're ostracizing me!" Ed whined, tossing his head back. Pinako locked the kids out and gave Ed a scolding look.

"I am not ostracizing anyone," she said, walking to Ed's pillow. Ed watched her pick it up, and followed her to the couch before yanking it away as he crawled on. He curled up with it glaring at her, and Pinako sighed heavily. "You'll be fine. I promise if you're not asleep in a half an hour you don't have to nap."

"Whatever."

Ed was angry, and ignored Pinako tucking him in. He rolled to face the back of the couch and shrugged his shoulders up irritably.

Pinako returned to her blueberry custard. Ed loved her custard and keeping him eating was easy when she supplied foods he liked. Foods that were good for his digestive track and full of vitamins. Recently she'd bought a little ceramic black bird pie vent, and if this custard went well, she was thinking about making many small blueberry pies for him.

Returning to the window where her sink was still filled with floating blueberries, Pinako looked into the yard with the kids getting loud. Winry was knighting Alphonse and giving a speech at the top of her lungs. The armor, even while kneeling and bowing, was three times her size. Using a large stick in place of a sword, Winry slammed it down on Alphonse's shoulder before haphazardly swinging it to the next in a motion so sloppy, it slapped Alphonse's metal helmet with enough force to send it flying.

Alphonse screamed with panic, and Ed bolted up and ran to the window. Slapping both hands to the pane, he cried a loud, "Ah!" when he took in the sight. "Look what she did!" Ed tore the window open frantically, and yelled out. "Winry! Don't do that! Don't do that to the head!"

"I didn't mean it!" Winry yelled over, shielding her eyes from the sun and holding her crown. "I mean—Alphonse's head fell off!"

"No, it didn't!" Ed yelled angrily. Alphonse was running after his head. It rolled surprisingly well for its awkward shape, and he had to catch it the way you would a ball.

"Yes, it did!"

"No, it didn't!" Ed was half way out the window.

Fitting his head back on with tentative positioning twists, Alphonse whined a loud, "I didn't know my head came off so easily!" He stood up, holding it on tight with both hands as if he could lose it permanently, and returned to Winry's side. He collected the wooden sword along the way, and Ed pointed at it with outrage.

"You can't be the knight," Ed cried. "I am the knight!"

Pinako took the first of her two custards to the oven and slid it in. The children were breaking into heated debate. Winry was pitching the argument Alphonse was a second knight, and Ed was insisting their community was so small it only required one knight, and a second knight would leave them without backup.

"Alphonse, this isn't fair!" Ed yelled. "I already said I was the knight. This isn't fair!"

Pinako wiped up her counter calmly.

"I can make as many knights as I want!" Winry boasted. "And Alphonse is so big and strong!" She leaned into the armor and hugged it's massive arm. "He's a perfect knight!"

"Oh, yeah!" Ed yelled, climbing into the window sill to become larger. "Well, I am big and strong too!"

Pinako had enough. She put the washcloth in the sink, and went to Ed.

"Who's going to be the knight while my other knight takes a nap?" Winry asked, becoming snotty. Ed grabbed the closest thing to him and threw it at her. A hardcover book, which appeared incredibly aerodynamic when thrown with automail, flew with tight accuracy right for Winry. Winry screamed and ducked behind Alphonse as he was kneeling back down, and his head went flying upon its impact.

"Crap, I am sorry Alphonse!" Ed was apologizing immediately. "I am sorry!" Alphonse, whining, ran after his head with Winry staggering around in her heels giving directions.

Pinako approached the window, tugged Ed back from it with a single grasp and pull on his flesh arm, and shut the window in his face. "She!" Ed cried, pointing out at Winry. "She!"

"Couch," Pinako said flatly. She went it, keeping a tight grip on Ed's arm, as he pulled and fussed.

"Yeah, but that was a half an hour!" Ed argued. "And Winry knighted Alphonse cause you made me come in here! They replaced me!"

Pinako pulled Ed in front of the couch and pushed him back to sit on it. "No one replaced you," she said, taking a tight grip on his chin. She lifted his face, locking their gaze. "There is only one Edward Elric," she said kindly, then she helped him lay back. Ed was irritated, and he yanked at the blanket and slapped at his pillow, wiggling about. Mumbling to himself in anger, he settled only when she knelt alongside the couch.

"How much more time do I have?" he asked miserably.

Pinako answered with a random time. "Only ten minutes, Ed." She was confident, as soon as he stopped fighting it, his body would collapse on him with need. She had seen it happen, and a week ago it started with him head down at the kitchen table asleep in the middle of his meal. Next it was outside under a tree, then on the deck in a chair, randomly in Winry's room, and once alongside the vegetable garden. He didn't seem to have much control over it because he was tired, he sat down, fell asleep, and the miscellaneous locations made him hard to find. The minimum timeframe seemed to be an hour, and Pinako found that too long for Ed to unknowingly disappear. So if he had to pass out, she prefer he did so near her.

"Ten minutes will go by fast," she said kindly, stroking a hand through his hair and with him calming down. His eyes were already slipping shut.

"I—I just think that," Ed began fussing, "I am ele—going to be twelve soon. I—I...and the automail...the automail is...I've gotten better and I do things myself, and you said I graduated, so...and if I graduated, I shouldn't have to…sleep like this. This is what little kids do. And...I am eleven, and..." Pinako let Ed talk. She didn't try to stop him. His words were slurring because his body was tired, but he didn't want to surrender. He was squirming with discomfort, as if he could physically escape what he felt happening.

"Everyone gets tired, Ed," Pinako whispered, playing with his hair. It was growing out, and he didn't want it cut. "Everyone needs to sleep." She moved her hand to his stomach and rubbed gently to relax him. "It's okay if you sleep." His eyes closed on him, and his expression was a fading frown.

"I don't..." he managed sloppily.

"Okay, Ed."

In less than a minute he was out, and he slept like the dead until six that evening. Then he woke up, filled himself with dinner and blueberry custard, and was alert gain. Wild and energetic he talked and played with Alphonse and Winry until Pinako put them to all to bed, and threatened all three again and again to stop talking and sleep.

A day before Ed left Resembool he went to Pinako and told her he called Colonel Mustang, and was going to Central to see the man. He expected her to be angry, and to scold him, so did this late in the day hoping any punishment she dished out would end at bedtime, but Pinako wasn't angry.

She knew the day she took Colonel Mustang's card that Ed would find it, and this moment would come. Resembool wasn't a place for minds like Edward's, and his departure was something of a bittersweet inevitability. She wanted the best for him, whatever that may be, and following his announcement with a heavy sigh, she knelt down and took him in a tight hug.

Closing her eyes, she squeezed him tenderly, taking him in. He smelled like sweet Resembool fields, and his frame was lithe and petite, but the faculty of him felt immense, and she wanted to remember it. She wanted to remember his innocent child self, and the child she loved, for who and what he was, in all his innocence and propensity, before the world had a chance to touch him.

"You're not mad?" Ed whispered into Pinako's shoulder, sounding surprised.

Pinako gave his temple a strong, loving kiss. "I saved the money you paid for your automail surgery," she said softly. "I never had any intention of taking it, Ed."

Ed yanked back, disengaging from the hug. "I have to pay." He was alarmed.

"No, you don't." Pinako smiled and stroked a hand through his hair. "I want you to take it, and you and Alphonse go where you think you need to go." Ed's eyes went wide with shock and something swarming with hope. "Do what you think you need to do, Ed." She stroked a hand down his cheek, and it was soft, and healthy. "Make your mother proud, and come back here and visit."

Ed was quiet. He didn't speak, and he didn't move for a long moment, then he burst into a smile: wide, ear-to-ear.

Then the boys left, and Winry cried and cried, and locked herself up in her room. Pinako felt a void from the boys who filled the house with sound. It took less time to clean, less time to make meals, and what once were complaints were now sorely missed. After a week Winry recovered, and they reopened Rockbell Automail, looking at their calendar, crunching numbers, and gradually returning to the routines that existed before Edward showed up in the arms of a suit of armor.

Shortly thereafter, they received his first letter.

Dear granny and Winry,

Central is so much better than Resembool, we now know why no one comes to visit. Colonel Mustang says I can become a State Alchemist and will have all the military libraries at my finger tips. This should be really easy for us but Alphonse and me plan to study anyway. This was Alphonse's idea. We get to take the test in a year so right now we're working really hard. We have to stay here in Central to do that so that means we can't come home for the holidays or weekends. We're sorry. Also I asked the Colonel what color hair he likes on women Winry. He did say blonde, but I told him you were fat.

Love,
Edward and Alphonse

Winry was outraged, and Pinako hung the letter on the fridge.

Curtain falls on, The Big Bang Theory. I hope you enjoyed.

Please review. It would mean a lot to me.

This story was a lot of fun to write. I had a field of emotions as I went through the chapters, and really analyzed many things I had never considered before, to give you as thorough and captivating a run as I could. Please comment on that, any of it. Tell me your favorite part, or at least one place you laughed or smiled. Winry, Edward, and Alphonse are so adorable as children, hopefully you had at least one.

Moving forward, I will follow this story with my traditional Book Jacket. With my schedule being so horrible approaching my trip to Japan, I can't give you an exact date, but it should be up late May (I return to the US mid May). This will forecast my upcoming activity, perhaps open some Big Bang Theory talking points, and discuss the community I plan to launch entitled, "State Certified."

I received many favorable votes, and PMs in response to my mention of it last chapter, I think it's totally something we should do. I don't look at this as 'my' community, I look at it as something we need for the FMA community world, and something I can't do alone. I can't stress enough how much I will rely on you guys to tell me what you've come across that is high in quality. So, please watch for this! I'd love for you to join! PM me if you have any questions or desire to participate. I have lots of details up on my profile.

Okay, all that said – seriously, please review now. If you're here, you read this entire story, and you would be frightened if I told you how many hours of my life went into it. Recognize that please, with a few seconds of your time. If you don't know what to say, if you're scared of reviewing, if you hate reviewing, just write, "Thanks." That's all us writers ever want. : )

Take care of yourselves! I'll see you all soon.