Trying

I held an unsold painting of an orange flower as I stood under a crescent moon. It was a small comfort, knowing I stood under the same sky as always. It was as good a night as any for a drink. Another thing that didn't change was drinking to relax my frustrations; only thing new was now I did it to sleep easier at night too. My dreams had a way of dragging me back to the forest, so much redder in recollection.

My search for information on Yukari died almost as soon as it began and that pissed me off. Yukari might as well have been an urban legend with how little the villagers knew about her. She's dangerous, youkai-like, and powerful—things I already knew. She lives in Mayohiga, but no one can or will tell me where that is—maybe here, maybe there, maybe not anywhere. Yukari's shikigami was seen in the village from time to time, but I was still steering clear of her, just in case. As it stood, my best chance to get Yukari would be when she leaves her home, visiting someplace I know of, but with how little the village knows the only chance of that happening would be by mere coincidence, so I was out of luck.

"Mori, wait up!" Meira said. I slowed down so she could catch up to me quicker.

"It's good to see you. I'm going out drinking, want to join?" I planned on drinking alone, but this would be a nice change.

"I'm not busy or anything, but I don't really drink. I'm only nineteen. I just wanted to show you something."

"Nonsense, you don't seem like a total stickler for rules and even if you were, outsider drinking age laws don't matter here." I wasn't sure if this was true or not, but I didn't care enough to ever check. "Come on, live a little! You can show me whatever it is you have after a drink." I started to walk away, forcing her to make a decision.

"Well alright," she said reluctantly. It felt a bit wrong to pressure her to drink with me, but I wanted to start drinking as soon as possible since I had been working myself to the bone doing odd jobs and peddling my paintings all day.

"Your kamishimo looks nice," I said, admiring her new attire. "You got the swords and the clothes. You look just like a samurai now." My words put a smile on her face.

"That's what I was going for. I thought that since I am a samurai now, I should look the part. I don't look weird do I?"

"It's perfect. You look like you."

"Thanks. Your kimono is… something." I couldn't disagree. My kimono was something—a bland, cheap, and not-worth-remarking something.

A red lantern marked the spot, "We're here."

Here was essentially a glorified counter on wheels, strategically positioned on the side of a street that got a lot of foot traffic. We quickly seated ourselves. The owner of the place was a bald and slightly portly man. He was an outsider once upon a time. What he did before finding himself in Gensokyo and even how he got here are mysteries to me. What I do know is that owning a bar was his dream and he wasn't letting his life being uprooted get in the way of it. I respected him for that.

Originally, I was going to try and use the unsold painting I was carrying to barter for some drinks, but with Meira there it suddenly felt a bit too embarrassing. I wanted to show her that I making it just fine in this world. So, to give off the perception that I wasn't a charity case, even at the cost of what little pocket money I made, I said, "Hey, Sakata. What's the most expensive drink you have?"

"This," he said, pulling a bottle of single-malt scotch out from under the counter. "Commodities like this don't often fall through the barrier. It's even rarer when they're undamaged. A glass will cost you thirty sen."

I took twice the amount he asked for off the string I strung my coins to and placed them on the counter. "Make it two." I tried to retie the sting, but I still hadn't gotten very good at it with one hand so Meira took the string did it for me.

"You know you don't have to pay for me, right?" Meira said.

"It's fine, really, it is, but if you're really broken up about it you can buy the next round."

Sakata poured our glasses and went to serve another customer. I raised my glass and motioned for her to do the same. We said, "Cheers." and drank.

Meira coughed and said, "It burns. How can anyone drink this stuff?"

"If it doesn't burn then it's no good. 'Just man up and drink, it'll put hair on your chest.' That's what my friend told me first time I drank whiskey… I think. I don't remember much from that night."

"I don't want hair on my chest!"

"Oh, right. Sorry. But it is good for you, so drink up."

"I'm not sure that's true."

"I am. So, how's the rescue team thing going?

"We've finally stopped searching for possible survivors."

"They don't know what really happened, do they?"

"Of course they don't. Here, this is what I wanted to show you." She handed me a newspaper. I never cared much for newspapers, but if she thought something in it was relevant, it most likely was. My eyes skimmed through the paper.

'Two attacks on village this month…Hakurei neglects duty…Rumia single-handedly slaughters dozens of outsiders...Hundreds of fairies left homeless in aftermath of duel between two youkai.'

Then I saw the one article I cared about and read its title aloud, "Yukari Yakumo visits Hakurei Shrine." Gone was my frustration. I was absolutely elated. For the first time in days I had a new lead. "Thanks, Meira."

"Don't mention it."

I tucked the newspaper away and said, "Thank you anyways. Let's get back to what we were talking about before. Since you're not looking for survivors anymore, what are you guys doing?"

"We've been spending most of our time trying to keep scavengers from getting themselves killed."

"Scavengers?"

"Ever since news broke out about what happened, some villagers and kappa have been scavenging through the forest for anything one of us outsiders may have dropped. We turn our heads the other way for kappa since they aren't our responsibility and the Anti-History Society pays us to ignore them. We're mainly trying to prevent the odd lone villager from going into the forest, so they don't hurt themselves, but some of them are still getting past us somehow, like this Morichika guy. I don't even know how he does it. I take my eyes off him for one second and he's gone. Hours later he's coming out of the forest with something he found."

"Obviously, he can take care of himself."

"That's not the point. If you're given an order not to go into the forest you should listen. Orders are supposed to be followed! The people who don't listen to us when we tell them not to go into the forest are wasting our time and resources chasing them and putting us and them in danger!" Meira was getting angry; she downed her drink during her rant and ordered us another round. "And for what? Just to make a gain off the possessions of the dead?"

"How about we talk about something less… this."

She regained her composure. "Sorry, I let my frustration get the better of me."

I asked her something that had been on my mind for awhile. "What's it like being a youkai hunter?"

Meira didn't have to think much before coming up with answer. "Not fun, but something that needs to be done."

"Is that why you do it?"

"Partly, it's mainly because I was born into it. As you already know, I'm from a line of youkai hunters near Mount Osore. Someone has to hunt down the creatures that escape hell from time to time and my family has taken it upon itself to be that someone for the last eighteen generations. I had to constantly train to be strong since Ia little kid, we all did, because if you weren't strong enough, you'd die." She paused recalling something before returning to an outer calm state. "The entire reason I'm here in the first place, if you boil it down, is to make my family stronger."

"Is it possible for me to become a youkai hunter?"

"Yes, but as far as I can tell you're an ordinary human. The only way you'd be able to become a youkai hunter would be to find a weapon capable of harming youkai, like my swords, and mastering it, or by becoming a powerful youkai or deity."

"Youkai can be youkai hunters?"

"The only requirement of being a youkai hunter is to actively and effectively pursue and exterminate youkai. I'm not really sure you're cut out for it."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I'm not exactly the most disciplined person; I can't even go one day without a drink. Mastering a weapon would probably take longer than I could bear. Still, I'll bear the wait. I'm going to become one. If I can't do it your way, then I'll find my own way, because I have to at least try."

"Trying... I guess that's all we really can do." She had a complex expression on her face.

"I guess so."

After an hour of drinking and light conversation, I was ready to call it a night. After a certain point in the night the only reason any shops were still open was to accommodate the resident nocturnal youkai. So, I didn't like being out in the village at that time of night.

The youkai that lived in the village were different than the abominations in the forests and mountains away from humans. Like Rumia, Yukari, and Ran these youkai didn't act solely on instinct like wild beasts, they talked like us, and some of them were indistinguishable from us—the ones that weren't were damn near close. Even so, it was youkai that took of my flesh, that took of life both literal and metaphorical, precious and unfamiliar, right before my eyes, and so, I hated youkai all the same.

"You forgot your painting," Meira said as I walked away.

I never planned on returning home with it, I decided to keep on walking. "You can have it, consider it a gift," I told her as I sauntered off into the night.

I arrived at an abandoned hovel nestled between fields on the outskirts of the village, made of rotting wood and mossy thatch that barely stopped rain. The house provided only the barest of necessities. Though it was less than ideal, it was a safe place I called home.

Only it didn't look safe on that night. I could tell that a light was on inside. I didn't even own a lantern which could mean only one thing. My hand went to the hilt of the dagger I failed to stab Yukari with. I kept it close to me at all times since. It along with the scar it gave me served as reminders of what I must do. I was determined to have it be what I carried out my vengeance with, but now it felt like it could do little bit more than that for me.

I slid open the door and charged in. I made it to the far end of my small home without encountering a single soul and turned around, but still no one was in sight. The only life in there was me and the hiding rats. A lantern and small paper card was the only proof anyone had been there at all.

Thanks to the lantern light I was able to immediately read the card. "Meet me at the Tranquil Grove tomorrow evening –Shimura, Katsurou" was written on it. If he was willing to intrude on my home to deliver that, chances were he wasn't presenting me a choice. It wouldn't be smart to go blind though. I made a mental note to scope out the place and gather some information on Shimura after I made my visit to the Hakurei Shrine.

Author's Note: My belief is that the currency used in Gensokyo has remained relatively unchanged since 1885. They use yen, sen, and rin with 1yen=100sen=1000rin=1.5 grams of gold