Chapter Seventeen: Numb

Of Love and Loss - The True Story of Commandant Scifo's Secret Affair

By Angie Klapp

There are few people in Zaphias who do not yet know about the torrid love affair between our own Commandant Flynn Scifo and the guildsman from Dahngrest, Yuri Lowell. But how many of us truly know who Flynn Scifo is, and what the depths of this relationship really are? In an exclusive personal interview with the commandant, I learned that their relationship is so much more than a rushed affair. Flynn Scifo and Yuri Lowell have a long history that spans almost their entire lives, and the real question that should be on everybody's minds is not where the commandant's loyalties lie but whether these star-crossed lovers will get the happy ending they deserve.

The tale begins in Zaphias' lower quarter almost sixteen years ago. At only six years old, the boys who would grow up to be the Commandant of the Imperial Knights and a leader of a prestigious Union guild met for the first time.

"It was hardly love at first sight," the commandant said of their first meeting. In fact, it was quite the opposite! "He stole my muffin… I chased after him. I called him a 'buttface'." Their days of enmity didn't last long, however. Only a few days later, Lowell showed his true colours by rescuing the commandant from bullies in order to pay him back for the muffin. From that point on, they were close friends. When the commandant realized that Lowell was an orphan and had nowhere to stay, he invited him into his own home out of the kindness of his heart.

Lowell and the commandant have remained close for the rest of their lives. Bonds of friendship strengthen through difficulty, and they had more than enough of that growing up in the lower quarter. The commandant tragically lost his father at a young age. Finath Scifo was killed in action while serving in the Knights when the commandant was eight years old. Only two years later, his mother passed away from illness, leaving both boys without a family and without a home.

"I don't think I would have survived without Yuri," the commandant confessed. "In my grief, he was my rock. I was lost after my mother died, but he taught me how to live on the street and how to feed myself. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I would have died that first winter without him."

For the rest of their teen years, they lived together, scrounging to survive. When they were old enough, they both enlisted in the Imperial Knights, inspired by Finath Scifo's example. "We made a promise," the commandant said. "We were going to fight to make people smile. We were both determined to right the wrongs we'd seen our people suffer through in the lower quarter, and make the empire into a better place for everyone."

Yuri Lowell did not last long in the Knights, however. It quickly became apparent that his temperament was not suited for the Knighthood. Lowell left the Knights, while the commandant continued rising through the ranks with impressive skill and dedication. Several years passed, during which time they remained separated. I questioned whether this was an emotionally difficult period for him, but the commandant said, "No, not terrible. I was of course concerned about Yuri and I missed spending time with him, but we were both adults and I trusted him to take care of himself on his own. We have always supported each other, but never been dependant."

This was clearly the case, as even without his best friend's support, Flynn Scifo rose to the rank of lieutenant after only three years in the Knights. It was when he was a lieutenant that he ran into his old friend again. Yuri Lowell had left Zaphias with Princess Estellise Sidos Heurassein.

"I want to clarify that," the commandant said, and he stared at me very intently. "I fear there has been a lot of misunderstanding surrounding Yuri's criminal record. It is true that Yuri was charged with kidnapping the princess and then had those charges dropped. It was not the case that Lady Estellise grew to care about him after spending enough time with her captor. She left the castle entirely of her own will, and happened to encounter him on her way out. Yuri accompanied her, and protected her from monsters outside the city. The charge was a misunderstanding from the very beginning."

Lowell and the commandant met several times during the Adephagos crisis, once again supporting each other's endeavours and working together to save our world.

"I could not have stopped the Adephagos without Yuri's help. He was integral to the entire operation. Every person in the world owes him their life."

While the crisis was brought down, other things flared up. It was during this time that the commandant realized the true extent of his feelings for Lowell. For many months following the crisis, he did nothing about his feelings. The commandant was always far too committed to his job protecting the empire to spend any thought on romance.

So what changed? In the end, it came down to a cat. The commandant adopted a stray cat off the street several months ago, but she was tragically killed by the Heartbreaker, whom we have now identified as Timothy Carter. After finding his beloved companion killed, he sought comfort in the arms of the man he loved. It really goes to show that no matter who you are, whether you're from the empire or the Union, the embrace of a loved one is the best medicine for a broken heart.

They 'officially' began a relationship mere days before the information was revealed to the public, but the deep bond of love has existed between them for so much longer. "I don't know if that is 'true love', but it is the strongest love I have ever felt for another person." It goes without saying that their relationship is far from traditional. Due to their differing political ties, they have agreed to remain separate and only are able to see each other when one or the other has time to visit. Despite that, the commandant is confident their bond can survive the distance.

The truly tragic part is that they had so little time to be together. Only a week after initiating his relationship with the commandant, Yuri Lowell was abducted by Timothy Carter. He has still not been found, and hope is dwindling. I beseech anyone to imagine how they would feel if their spouse or partner was lost or suffering, and then you might begin to understand the pain the commandant has endured since the night Lowell disappeared. So far, none of Carter's victims have been found alive. Will the commandant's lifelong love story have a tragic ending? We can only hope not.

Yuri Lowell is twenty-one years old, 5'11", with long dark hair and grey eyes. He was last seen on Orson Street three nights ago. Anyone with any knowledge of his whereabouts is encouraged to speak to the Knights, and perhaps we can help give this story a happy ending.

If Timothy Carter is reading this article, the commandant had only one message to send: "Wherever you are, I will find you. You should pray that Yuri is still alive when I do."

Flynn lowered the paper.

"Well?" Angie watched him expectantly.

"It's a little sappy."

"People like sap."

Flynn was too tired to argue. She really had done her best to make both him and Yuri look sympathetic, and that was all he could ask. He set it on his desk and nodded, "It's fine."

"Excellent!" She grinned broadly. Her smiled slipped a little when she added, "Of course, I wrote this before the events of last night. I'll have to update the ending." Her face fell and she sighed. "What a pity. It's not a very satisfying ending at all."

Flynn looked at her sharply. "I don't want to hear another word about what 'should' have happened to Yuri just so you could sell more papers."

She leaned back and pulled her paper close. "Fine, I know you're not interested in the business side of my job. All I'm saying is a picture of lovers embracing with a big kiss after so much hardship would have made a fantastic front page."

It was a good thing Flynn wasn't holding anything, because he would have snapped it. "Enough!"

She stood up. "Yes, yes, obviously that isn't possible. I'll see myself out."

She left, and Flynn slumped forward with his head in his arms. It had been a long morning, and most of it had been spent in meetings. It turned out that arresting the son of a noble with lots of friends on the Council was a messy situation, even if he had murdered so many people. Carter was in the cells now, awaiting trial. Flynn was going to do everything in his power to make sure he was tried to the full extent of the law. He could be shown no mercy, not after everything he'd done. When Flynn thought about Yuri, he still struggled to hold himself together. This was a problem, because talking about what had happened to Yuri came up in every meeting with the Council, the Knights, Trout, and reporters. He knew he couldn't cry in front of any of these people, so he was glad he'd gotten most of it out of his system last night.

With a heavy sigh, he sat up and rubbed his sore eye. The wound was closed and the blood cleaned up, but it had left a scar and was still tender. He hadn't seen much of Estelle last night, so he'd had nothing but apple gels and traditional first aid to close the wound.

He still had work to do. Thankfully, Sodia had volunteered to take on a greater load of paperwork in addition to her usual work, so that all he'd have to do was throw his signature on forms she already filled out and verified. With her taking care of that, he had some time to deal with Carter's case. After arresting him last night, the Council had approved putting him back in control of the investigation to do the follow-up. If Flynn had been in a better mood, he would have felt great satisfaction at being proven right and seeing Trout's face. As it was, he was just mad he couldn't prosecute Trout for getting Yuri in that situation, since Yuri had technically gone willingly.

He left his office and made his way to Estelle's room. After knocking, he had to wait almost five minutes for her to answer the door and when she did, her hair was messy, she wore a pale blue nightgown, and her eyes were heavy.

"I'm sorry; did I wake you?"

"It's ok," she said softly. "It's almost afternoon by now. Come in."

He stepped into her room, and she embraced him the moment the door closed. "Oh, Flynn."

"I know." He clung to her tightly, wishing he could be stronger for her.

"I've slept all morning, since I didn't get any sleep last night. I've tried so hard to be strong, but I… I just couldn't stop crying."

He rubbed her back. "Shh. I did the exact same thing. There's nothing wrong with crying."

She nodded with her face still pressed against him.

"Do the others know?" He felt guilty when he suddenly remembered he hadn't gone down to the lower quarter to tell Repede, Karol, Judith, and Raven what had happened. It was selfish, but he'd been so preoccupied with his own feelings to think of doing that.

Estelle nodded again. "Rita went. I'm going down to meet them after I wake up, which I guess is now."

"If you want to go back to sleep-"

"No." She pulled away and rubbed her eyes. "I'm tired of hiding in my bedroom. I want to be with the others. You should come, too. I know you're not as close to them, but… we all love Yuri."

Flynn managed a small smile. "Perhaps later. I still have some business to take care of. I need to pick up some of Carter's papers at the hospital, and I was told Zagi is making a fuss in the dungeons. Carter was brought in last night so he's insisting he gets to fight Yuri today."

"Ok. If you need me, I'll be in the lower quarter."

She left to get dressed, and Flynn went to deal with Zagi. He really didn't want to be in a room with Carter at the moment, but it was unavoidable. At the jail cells, the knight on guard waved him through without a question and he walked down the aisle to the cell where Zagi was pacing around with agitation.

"You!" Zagi shouted and ran at the bars. "Where is Yuri Lowell?! We had a deal! I get to fight Yuri as soon as he," he pointed through the bars over Flynn's shoulder, "is behind bars. Well, he's here, so where's my fight?"

"The deal is off," Flynn said stiffly.

"What?!" Zagi grabbed the bars and rattled them. "You can't do that. We had a deal!"

"Yuri never agreed to the deal. Lady Estellise made it in his stead and so Yuri cannot be held to it. Besides, Yuri is…" he took a short breath. "You can't fight him."

Another voice slithered into the conversation. "What's wrong, Flynn? Where's Yuri?"

Flynn bristled but refused to turn around. He wasn't going to talk to Carter or even pay attention to his presence. To Zagi, he said, "The empire thanks you for your contributions to the case. Your trial will be held next week to decide your punishment for the scores of deaths you have committed."

"I don't care about that! Where is Yuri? Why can't I fight him!? I know he isn't a coward or I wouldn't have picked him as my rival."

Carter laughed. "You're so grumpy, Flynn. What, still sore with me because I killed your boyfriend?"

Flynn's fingers twitched for his sword. Don't let him get satisfaction from egging you on.

"What are you talking about?" Zagi looked between Flynn and Carter. "Yuri Lowell? Dead?"

"I killed him myself."

"Yuri Lowell would never be killed by someone like you!"

Flynn wasn't sure what to make of Zagi's expression. It wasn't quite grief, because Flynn doubted Zagi possessed the expressive capacity to feel that kind of true emotion, but he did seem honestly sad at the thought of Yuri being dead. True, it was because he was upset he didn't get to fight him, but the concern was almost touching.

"Good day." He didn't want to spend any more time down here than he had to, and without another word, he left. Carted shouted after him, taunting him about Yuri while Zagi screamed at him that there was no way he'd actually done it. Flynn ignored them and hurried out.

The interaction with Carter had rattled him more than he was willing to admit. He hadn't seen the man since leaving him behind in the catacombs, and he didn't envy the idea of spending more time with him. He still didn't like to think about just how close he'd come to taking his life. He was infinitely glad that he hadn't, because if he'd let that knife come down, he would never be able to look at himself in a mirror again.

He stopped in his room to grab his coat and hat, and then left for the hospital. The Council wanted Carter's medical file to prove he really was ill. Flynn hesitated to get it, since anything that gave the jury sympathy for Carter was bad, but doing things by the law meant full disclosure. He'd been told to fetch that file, so that's where he went.

He made the walk quickly. The scar over his eye was still raw and the cold wind made it sting. If he was a vain person he'd be concerned about the gap in his eyebrow where the scarred skin would never grow hair again, but he was just grateful he'd turned his head just in time to avoid serious damage to his eye. He could still see, and that's all that mattered.

When he reached Princess Elisabetta Hospital, he kicked snow off his boots and entered the lobby. The warmth was a relief, but the mixture of apples and disinfectant made his nose twitch. Spending too much time here would surely make him miserable.

"Good afternoon, Commandant," the receptionist said. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, hello." He forced a smile, which wasn't very convincing. The receptionist was aware of the situation, so she didn't take it personally. "I have orders from the Council to take the file for Timothy Carter. It's needed as evidence."

"Of course. Give me a moment." She opened a drawer and flipped through the files. As she went, she said, "I just can't believe what happened. I met Timothy when he first came in; he seemed like such a nice person. I guess that goes to show you can never really know people."

"Yes, that's true," he said disinterestedly.

"Ah, here we go." She pulled the file out of the drawer. "Here you go!"

He flipped through it just to make sure it was correct and then said, "Thank you." It was weird seeing Carter's name in a medical report like any other patient. He really could have been just an average guy, but there was something wrong in his head along with his lungs. Maybe he'd been like this even before his terminal diagnosis, or maybe the smoke had rotted his brain as well as his longs, but he'd turned into a monster. Flynn would never stop being grateful that he hadn't become one himself while taking him down.

There was nothing else he had to do for the next few hours with Sodia taking care of his paperwork. The Council didn't need this file right away, so instead of leaving the hospital, he took a turn and walked down a hallway. He took a few more turns deep into the hospital, until he stopped outside a single room at the end of the corridor. His hand rested on the doorknob for nearly a minute before he gained the courage to open the door.

He walked into the room slowly. His boots were still wet and left footprints on the hardwood floors and white curtains hung still over the window. Supposedly the pastel blue walls were supposed to be calming, but Flynn had never been more nervous than when he walked to the chair next to the bed and slowly sat down, and then breathed a long sigh of relief.

"Hey, Yuri."

There was no answer. He hadn't been expecting one, since Yuri was asleep. "I think Zagi was honestly upset to think you might be dead. I don't know if you'll find that endearing or frustrating."

He tried hard to act casual, but as he stared at Yuri's ashen face, he couldn't stop remembering just how close Yuri's brush with death had been. His heart had actually stopped three times during the night, and only Estelle keeping constant vigilance all night long to quickly cast Resurrection had let him survive to morning. Even now, the doctors said he would only "probably" survive the rest of the day. This morning, the doctor at the castle infirmary had declared that Yuri was too seriously injured to be properly taken care of there, and he needed to be transferred to a proper hospital.

Flynn wasn't entirely sure what the problem was, only that it was apparently serious. He'd spoken with a slew of doctors and nurses last night and this morning, but they were frustratingly vague. By the time he actually got a chance to eavesdrop on a conversation to figure out exactly what was wrong with Yuri, he'd been without sleep for so long he hadn't understood most of the terminology. He'd picked out a few words here and there, like "looks like T8 complete," "severe hypovolemic shock," and "herniated vertebral disc," but nobody explained what any of these meant. All he knew was that they'd worn dire expressions while discussing them and when Flynn asked if Yuri would be ok, the doctor had patted him on the shoulder and said, "The important thing to remember is that he is alive."

Something was very wrong and nobody was willing to tell him what it was. Flynn was left sitting helplessly by Yuri's bedside, taking comfort in his slow, shallow breaths. The doctor was right; Yuri was alive. The reason question was what condition he'd be in when he finally woke up, and it was this uncertainty that terrified Flynn.

"I'm going to sit with you for a little while. Don't worry about my job; Sodia's taking care of everything." He had no idea if Yuri could hear him, but maybe the sound of his voice would reach his subconscious and calm him down. Flynn wasn't too worried about Yuri's deep slumber, because the doctors had induced it on purpose. Something about keeping him sedated to give his body time to heal, and to keep him from moving around and hurting himself further. He'd made one of the nurses promise to tell him when they were going to take him off sedatives so he could be there when Yuri woke up.

He hated seeing Yuri like this. Someone as vibrant and outgoing as Yuri shouldn't be lying in a hospital bed, covered in hastily-healed scars and inflamed skin. Estelle had put all her effort in just keeping him alive last night, so there wasn't time to heal all Yuri's smaller, non-life-threatening injuries. He looked so small, and very un-Yuri. His choppy hair probably had something to do with that. It was shorter than Rita's, and put Flynn in mind of how he'd looked when they were young children.

"I bet you're so mad about your hair, huh? And you're definitely not going to be happy when you find yourself in a hospital gown."

He smiled sadly and brushed one of Yuri's short strands behind his ear. Flynn hadn't brought anything to do while visiting, but the last few days had been endlessly hectic and stressful, so the chance to sit quietly and listen to Yuri breathe was a welcome break.

Yuri slowly opened his eyes and saw darkness. The world was dark and blurry and his head and torso dimly ached. Where the hell was he? There was something hard under his back and all he could see was a dark ceiling. All he knew was that he hurt and he was in an unfamiliar bed in a strange room. Was this Carter's doing? He needed to get out of here and find Flynn. Carter might come back any minute now and Yuri didn't plan to be lying here when he did.

He told his body to sit up, but that didn't happen. His arms were heavier than lead and his neck strained just to lift an inch off the pillow. This was enough to turn the fuzzy background dizziness into full-blown spinning and the world shifted out of view.

When he opened his eyes again, he had no way of knowing if he'd passed out for a few seconds or a few hours. Keeping himself conscious was like trying to tread water with an anchor strapped to his feet. He tried to sit up again, and muscles in his chest flexed against a leather strap holding him down. Shit, he was restrained - this was Carter's doing after all. Through the haze of grogginess that threatened to pull him back to sleep, he landed on one coherent thought: he had to escape.

He slowly managed to drag his arms to his chest, vaguely wondering why those weren't restrained, too. He fumbled for the strap pinning him down and felt a buckle under his shirt. He picked at that for a few minutes before finally realizing he wasn't going to get it undone through the fabric of his shirt, and it took another few minutes of staring at the dark ceiling in dumb confusion before figuring out he wasn't strapped to the bed. This strap was connected to the something hard underneath him and held it in place. It was also probably why he had so much difficulty sitting up, because the solid wooden board kept him from bending. What was Carter doing? Was this some weird new torture method? He had to get out of here.

Yuri squirmed and tried to push himself upright, but that wasn't happening. He was too heavy, too weak, and too sore to make any headway trying to sit straight up. It was only his upper half that was sore, though. Compared to the aching, tired muscles consuming his torso, he couldn't feel his legs at all. He'd just swing them off the bed and crawl out of here before Carter showed up.

Maybe a minute later, though he was too groggy to know for sure, nothing had happened. He told his legs to crawl off the bed, but they didn't respond. It wasn't even like when he'd tried to sit up and found his tired muscles straining to overcome weakness, because at least then he'd felt himself trying. His legs didn't move at all. Fear sparked inside his chest. What had Carter done to him? Why couldn't he move his legs? Were they really restrained that much? He couldn't manage to lift his head enough to see what condition they were in.

The more he managed to focus his mind on his legs, the more he realized something was very wrong. It wasn't just that they weren't in pain compared to the constant throbbing in his torso… he couldn't feel them at all. If he couldn't see the lumps they made under the blanket, he'd have to wonder if they were even still there. He dragged his heavy arms through the fog to his chest and slowly slid them down his torso. Everything felt normal - painful, but normal - until he hit a line just below his rib cage. He moved lower, pressing and prodding his stomach, and then the tops of his thighs that he could reach, but there was nothing. He could feel his body under his palms, but he couldn't feel his palms on his body.

Fear turned to panic. He still didn't know where he was or what was happening, but he couldn't feel his legs and he couldn't even twitch his toes. He would have thrashed if he had that much range of movement. Everything was too heavy to move and every tiny movement he did manage sent pain racing down his spine. His heart pounded and two thoughts took turns racing around his brain, drowning out any attempt at logical thought. The first was, I can't feel my legs! While the second was, I need to get out of here!

He struggled to move. He tried to edge to the side of the bed with his arms, while his useless legs were nothing but dead weight. Any hope of rational thinking was lost under a conflicting haze of drowsiness and panic. His mind wanted to jump up, thrash around, and scream for help while his body wanted to do nothing but lie still and go back to sleep.

Yuri managed to take a deep breath and forced out, "Hey…" His chest strained to sit up again, while his abs didn't move at all. With more force this time he managed to slur, "Hep… an'one… there?"

Of course no one was there; he was trapped under the city in the catacombs. He needed to escape by himself, but that was difficult because fuck, I can't move my legs, fuck, what's going on?! Gotta get out of this bed. Gotta get this thing strapped to his back off. Who knew what it was, but if Carter had done it to him, it couldn't be good. His clumsy hands managed to grip the edge of the mattress and he pulled with all his might. Muscles strained but he managed to drag himself a few inches, which sent stabs of pain through his back. It was like a knife had sunk into his spine and he nearly blacked out again.

He heard a door open and a distant voice said, "Oh, you're awake. You need to lie down right now!" Footsteps ran toward him.

Shit, he'd been caught! He had to hurry. With renewed energy (which still wasn't very much) he strained to pull himself out of bed.

"You need to stop moving!" A young woman in a yellow dress grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back into bed. "Lie still. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Geroff me!" This woman must be an accomplice of Carter's. He tried to fight her off, but she kept him firmly pinned on his back and he lacked the strength to throw her off. "Lemme go… what've you… done ta me?" He dragged his sluggish arms to one of her wrists and tried to pry her off.

"Shhh, calm down. You're in the hospital." Louder, she yelled, "I need help! Code white!"

Yuri was not nearly coherent enough to understand what she was saying. All he understood was that he was in pain, his legs were unresponsive, and he had to escape before Carter came back to finish him off. He pushed against the woman's hands while trying to focus his eyes enough to see who she was.

A few more people entered the room and ran toward the bed. A stream of voices flowed over his head.

"He won't calm down."

"He's going to further damage his spine."

"Sedate him."

No! Yuri struggled as much as he could without moving his legs - which didn't work, fuck, why didn't his legs work!? - and then someone grabbed his arm and pinned it palm-up on the mattress. He didn't have nearly enough strength to overpower whoever did it, and then a syringe jammed into his arm.

"Shh, just calm down," someone else said. "You're going to be all right. You're in the hospital."

The drowsiness he'd fought since waking up grew stronger and threatened to overpower him. No, no, not yet, he needed someone to tell him why he couldn't feel his legs. The feeling would come back, right? It had to. He could hardly go the rest of his life without moving his legs. He tried to concentrate on his panic over his legs as something to anchor to consciousness, but whatever they'd injected in him worked fast. His eyelids were heavier than his arms had been, and his arms now lay as limp and useless as his legs

"Just go to sleep," a woman said.

He tried to form words, but all that came out was a mumble. With one last stab of confusion and shit, I can't feel my legs! he slipped back to sleep.

Flynn sat in Yuri's room, mindlessly signing off on pension plans for retiring knights. It didn't require much thought, which left his mind free to drift to Yuri, fast asleep across the room. A clerk from the hospital had been by his office this morning to let him know that Yuri had woken up during the night, which made Flynn indescribably happy. The clerk had then mentioned that Yuri had promptly freaked out, thrashed around as much as he could, and needed to be sedated, and Flynn rapidly plummeted back to concerned. He'd brought all his paperwork to the hospital today and was determined to stay here until Yuri woke up again, so that he wouldn't find himself alone and confused again.

He had just signed another form when a mumble caught his ear. Flynn jolted around looked to the bed, where Yuri's eyes fluttered open. "Yuri!" Flynn let his paper fall to the ground in his rush to Yuri's side. "I didn't just imagine that, did I? You're awake?" He sat in a chair by the side of Yuri's bed and leaned his hands against the mattress.

Yuri flopped his head to the side and peered up at Flynn with heavy eyes. "Yeah…" Yuri managed to form a word this time, though his voice was still weak. "I'm alive."

The doctors had told Flynn that after Yuri survived the first day he had excellent chances of recovering, but part of Flynn hadn't really believed it until he finally heard Yuri's voice. Flynn couldn't keep a smile off his face; Yuri really was ok. Unfortunately, Yuri also seemed to be in a lot of pain and it killed Flynn to not be able to do anything about it.

"Where am I?" Yuri drawled. He tried to keep his eyes locked on Flynn, but they kept slipping closed.

Flynn reached under the sheet and found Yuri's hand. Holding him gently, in case it caused him any more pain, Flynn said, "You're in the hospital, Yuri."

Yuri frowned in confusion. "Carter…?"

"He's in jail. I don't know how much you remember from the night you were stabbed, but I went down to the catacombs to find you."

"You got me out?"

Flynn smiled, but it couldn't reach his eyes because looking at Yuri's miserable state made his heart clench. "Yeah, I got you out."

Yuri closed his eyes and lightly smiled. "Knew you would." Yuri took a deep breath and lay still for a few minutes. Flynn wondered if he had fallen asleep again, but then Yuri opened his eyes and dragged his arms onto his torso. He frowned and started patting his stomach. "Flynn…" he croaked.

"Is something wrong? Are you in pain?"

"Can't… I can't feel my legs."

Flynn's lingering smile dropped. "Pardon?"

"Weird," Yuri mumbled and closed his eyes again.

"Yuri, what do you mean you can't feel your legs?" Flynn wasn't sure what else Yuri could mean other than Flynn's first horrible thought, but there had to be another explanation. It was probably just a complication of healing and the feeling would come back as he recovered.

Yuri didn't open his eyes. "I just… can't. Can't move 'em."

He'd been concerned about Yuri flipping out when he woke up like he had last night, but the drugs apparently weren't out of his system yet and Yuri was tired as a dog. "I'm going to get the doctor and tell him you're awake. Will you be all right?"

Yuri slowly nodded, and Flynn ran out. He tried to remain calm as he searched for the doctor, but he kept running through what Yuri had said and trying not to panic. Yuri was seriously injured, but the doctor said he would recover. He'd be fine, he just needed the time to heal properly. There was no need to panic.

He spotted the doctor at the end of the hall and started running. "Dr. Burke!" The doctor stopped and Flynn ran up to him. "Yuri has woken up. He says he can't feel anything in his legs."

"Oh, interesting. I'll come see him now."

'Interesting' was not the word Flynn would use for the news that Yuri couldn't move his legs. He was already completely done with putting up with this doctor and Yuri had only been in the hospital for a few days, but for now he'd have to deal with it. He led Dr. Burke back to Yuri's room, where Yuri seemed to have fallen asleep again.

"Yuri?" Flynn said softly when he reached the bedside.

Yuri dragged his eyes open. "Hm?"

"Good morning, Mr. Lowell," the doctor said cheerfully. "How are you feeling today?"

Yuri flopped his head around to face the doctor instead. "I'm not. That's the problem."

The doctor just smiled and stood over the bed. How could he be so calm!? With a clipboard in one hand, the doctor pulled Yuri's blanket aside and pressed his hand against Yuri's chest. "Do you feel that?"

"Yeah."

Burke then pressed his hand against Yuri's stomach. "What about this?"

Yuri just stared at the doctor with dim confusion and then turned his eyes down to see what Burke was doing. He frowned and said, "No."

Burke nodded and made a mark on his clipboard. "What about this?"

He continued asking for a few more places, moving down Yuri's leg. Flynn watched with increasing anxiety as Yuri had to answer 'no' for his thigh, his knee, his shin, and his foot. When the doctor finished, Flynn looked to him nervously and prayed he got good news.

"This is, of course, a very rudimentary test and a complete neurological examination will be done later, when you're more alert," Burke said. "Mr. Lowell, can you move any of the muscles below your ribcage?"

Come on, Yuri, you can do it…

Only the hint of strain on Yuri's face indicate he was even trying to move, and he eventually gave up without even a twitch of his toes. "Nah," he mumbled and closed his eyes, exhausted by the effort.

Burk nodded again and made another note on his clipboard. "It's as I thought, then. Well, the good news is that you are alive and well on your way to recovery."

Hope sparked and Flynn looked to Burke. "Recovery?"

"Excuse me, I should have been more clear." The doctor kept his eyes on the clipboard as he scribbled notes. "When I said 'recovery', I meant his blood loss and other minor injuries such as burns and bruising. I suspect he will fully recover from those. The biggest problem, though, is that the knife wound he took to the back severed his spinal cord."

Yuri was still too out-of-it to react, but Flynn's chest clenched and he glanced nervously between Yuri and the doctor. "How long will it take to heal?"

Dr. Burke raised his eyes from his clipboard and stared at Flynn for a few seconds. "Commandant… injuries to the spinal cord don't ever heal."

"When will he be able to walk again?"

Burke stared at him like he was an idiot. Maybe Flynn was, because he'd heard of the prognosis for this type of injury before and he knew it was generally poor. He couldn't help believing Yuri would be the exception, though. Yuri could bounce back from anything; he'd heal from this, too.

"The spinal cord cannot repair itself and healing artes are ineffective against such an ailment. Barring a miracle, he will never walk again."

Flynn didn't want to hear it. This was the kind of thing that happened to other people, not Yuri. A Yuri that couldn't walk was hardly Yuri at all. "But there's a chance, right? You said a miracle might happen." Yuri had destroyed the unstoppable Adephagos and taken down the unbeatable Alexei; surely he'd conquer this, too.

Burke rolled his eyes. "Yes, Commandant, and there is a chance that lead might spontaneously turn into gold, but I wouldn't recommend staking your happiness on acquiring a fortune that way."

Flynn had to sit down. Yuri hadn't reacted through all of this, but he might be asleep again. There was no way he'd be this calm about hearing he would never walk again if he was fully conscious. Flynn couldn't stay calm, and it wasn't even his spine that was damaged. He had always been prepared for either of them to die in battle, but to see Yuri left alive but permanently crippled was a grief that had never occurred to him. "There has to be something you can do. You're a doctor - heal him."

"I'm very sorry, but there really is nothing we can do. We are limited to monitoring and treating him for secondary complications and helping him adapt to being disabled."

Flynn stared at Yuri as a hundred images of Yuri ran through his head. Yuri fighting, Yuri dancing, Yuri running, Yuri climbing… all things he would never see Yuri do again. He thought about how much fun they had sparing together, the way their backs bumped together while facing a group of enemies, or the way they'd tangled under the blanket on the chilly night with limbs moving everywhere. He was never going to be able to do these things with Yuri anymore, but then he felt dreadfully guilty for feeling sorry for himself when Yuri had lost so much more.

The doctor continued speaking, reading off his clipboard like he was reporting on the prognosis of a sprained wrist. "Thanks to Lady Estellise's healing, his condition is stable enough that I'm not worried about him dying of his immediate injury anymore. His spine was dislocated between the eighth and ninth thoracic vertebrae and Lady Estellise didn't know how to heal the rip to the intervertebral disc."

Hearing that Yuri would never walk again had left Flynn's mind reeling and he couldn't manage to concentrate nearly hard enough to figure out what the doctor was talking about and what all those medical terms could even mean. "What can you do for him?"

"For now, we are keeping his spine as still as possible and waiting for it to heal on its own with prolonged bed rest. He's also suffering from…"

Dr. Burke rattled off a few more words that Flynn didn't even attempt to understand. From what he understood, it was something about losing a lot of blood, dehydration, and burns. All Flynn got out of it was that Yuri was in really bad shape, but that all those things would heal, unlike his legs. Flynn watched Yuri while the doctor spoke. He was awake after all, but Flynn suspected he wasn't quite conscious enough to fully understand what was going on. "How long will he need to stay in the hospital?"

"Can't say for sure. It will take about a month for his spine to stabilize, most likely, and after that it depends on whether you have somewhere in mind for him to go to recuperate or if he'll need to stay in the hospital for rehabilitation."

A thousand variables crossed Flynn's mind. Where was Yuri going to live if he couldn't walk up the stairs to his house? Would he be able to keep working with Brave Vesperia? Would he be capable of earning money to live off? How was he going to cook for himself if he couldn't reach the counters from a wheelchair? How did going to the bathroom work and how would he get into a bathtub? He took a long breath. "We'll deal with that when the time comes." He was going to need to have a long conversation with Yuri about where he wanted to live after the hospital, but that could wait until Yuri was fully aware of his surroundings.

"Yes, yes, you don't have to decide today. Anyway, I have other patients I was scheduled to see this morning, so I must be on my way. I'll be back later to conduct a complete neurological assessment and give you a proper diagnoses, though I suspect it won't be much different."

The doctor left, and Flynn sat with his arms on his knees and his head bowed. Yuri smiled at him through half-lidded eyes. "Hey… it'll be ok, Flynn. What do doctors know, huh?"

He didn't get it. Whether it was the sedatives still in his system or lack of blood and distracting pain keeping his mind fuzzy, it had yet to sink in that the problem with his legs was permanent. Flynn wasn't sure if it had fully sunk in for him, either. He kept thinking he was going to wake up from this nightmare any second now.

"I'm sorry." Flynn mumbled, more for his own benefit since Yuri wasn't really listening. "I should have found you sooner. I should have captured Carter before he had a chance to do any of this to you. It's all my fault." His best friend, the man he loved more than anybody, was never going to walk again because he hadn't managed to save him.

"Nah, it's not."

He held Yuri's hand and spoke. "Yuri, I don't know if you're really listening, but I want to tell you that no matter what the outcome is, no matter if you have to use a wheelchair from now on, none of that will change how I feel about you. You've suffered a devastating injury, but we can get through this together. You helped me do the right thing in bringing Carter in, and I'll help you adjust to your injury however I can. No matter what happens to your legs, I'll never stop loving you."

Yuri weakly squeezed Flynn's hand and mumbled, "Never doubted you would." He closed his eyes and then said, "Think 'm… gonna sleep again."

Flynn squeezed Yuri's hand. "Sleep well." He considered saying 'you'll feel better when you wake up', but he didn't want to lie.

Flynn couldn't afford to work from the hospital every day, but he made sure he came by to visit as soon as he got off work. He had never been so punctual about leaving his office at six. Considering visiting hours ended at seven and he always got shooed out less than an hour into the visit, he needed to be punctual to get enough time. He hoped Yuri didn't mind only seeing him for an hour every day, but considering Yuri spent most of his time sleeping, he didn't seem to mind.

On the third day since Yuri first woke up, Flynn headed to his room as usual. When he got there, he found Estelle sitting by Yuri's bed, silently reading a book. Flynn watched Yuri sleep with a frown; it was still so hard to believe what had happened.

"Hello, Flynn."

"Good evening, Lady Estellise." Estelle had the chair and he didn't feel like moving the one across the room, so he sat on the side of Yuri's bed. "Have you been here long?"

"A few hours. I feel so awful knowing he's all alone in here. Karol and Judith sat with him yesterday before you arrived and Rita came with me the day before that."

"Yes, he mentioned that." Flynn smiled. "I'm glad he's not alone. I can hardly even imagine how he's feeling these days."

Estelle closed he book and gazed at Yuri's face. "I feel so helpless. Healing people has always been the one thing I could always fall back on, but now…"

Flynn looked to Yuri as well. "So there's really nothing you can?"

She sadly shook her head. "I can't heal something that would never heal on its own. Once the nerves are severed, there's nothing I can do to make them grow back."

"I thought as much."

"It's so hard to imagine Yuri not being able to walk. I keep thinking that as soon as they let him out of the hospital, he'll be on his feet again. But… he won't. Not ever."

Flynn grimaced. "I know exactly what you mean."

"Yuri's going to be so miserable in a wheelchair."

"He'll pull through. Yuri always does. He might need us to be more supportive than usual."

Estelle frowned. "I don't think Yuri will like being supported."

Flynn managed a small smile. "That's why part of supporting Yuri is not letting him feel precisely how much support he needs."

"Ok." She nodded and forced a smile. "We'll do whatever it takes for Yuri. But, Flynn, how are you? I know you were very upset about Carter."

His smile faded. "I'm all right. My confrontation with Carter was… not pleasant." He hung his head. "It actually frightens me how close I came to making the killing blow. Yuri told me that Carter's plan all along was to lure me into killing him. He wanted to prove to me that I would kill someone under the right circumstances, too. If it hadn't been for the thought of Yuri, I would have gone along with him and proven him right."

She rested her hand on his knee and squeezed. "But you didn't, and that's what matters."

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Lady Estellise." He looked to Yuri again and asked, "Is the rest of Yuri's guild going to remain in Zaphias until Yuri is out of the hospital?"

"I'm not sure. They haven't decided yet. Karol wants to, but they're running low on money and need to take on other jobs. There isn't much they can do for Yuri at this point anyway. Raven is already getting restless and hinting that Ba'ul should take them back to Dahngrest."

"Will Rita be leaving?"

"No, Rita is staying with me until spring." Estelle couldn't keep a bubbly smile off her lips as she said that. "She says she hates the snow and wants to spend winter in the castle rather than her snowy cottage in Halure. I think it will be nice to have her around. She's just happy because Gill is heading back to Halure."

"Is he gone yet? I meant to thank him for his contributions to the case, but I haven't had time."

"He's leaving tomorrow. I think he only came in hopes of getting together with Yuri, but given all that's happened, he's given up on that."

Flynn couldn't say he was entirely sympathetic to Gill, considering the mess he'd made with the paper in the first place. Angie's follow-up had smoothed over a lot of tension, but there were still those that gave him dark looks as he passed and several Council members still didn't fully trust him yet. At the very least, he supposed he could thank the article for letting him be open about his feelings. They hadn't dared to show Yuri the article yet, though, since the amount of sap would make him far more agitated than was medically recommended. Besides, Yuri's visits with coherence were still fleeting and unpredictable, so getting him to read an entire article was unrealistic.

"I think, at the end of the day, what we should focus on is the fact that Carter is behind bars. This case is closed."

Of course, it wasn't really. It could only be truly closed if they were able to put it away and forget about it, but that couldn't happen now. Yuri was never going to be able to walk away from what had happened in the catacombs. Flynn was never going to be able to forget how terrifyingly close he'd come to proving Carter right. The case of Zaphias' worst serial killer in history was closed, but the wounds he'd left behind would remain open for years to come.

A/N: That's the end and thanks for reading! If you think "oh no, how can you end it like that?!" I have good news: there is a sequel! I'm currently working on it. It's going to be published chapter by chapter rather than all at once like I've been doing, so I'll probably start posting the first chapter within a couple weeks.

If you read this story to the end, thanks! If you care to leave a review, double-thanks! If you do leave a review and have the time, I'd be super interested to get feedback on the mystery aspect of this story. I'm trying to work on writing more compelling mysteries, so I'm very curious to know what worked and what didn't. Were there not enough clues? Too many? Were plot twists predictable? Did you guess who the killer was before the characters did? Was something confusing or unexplained?

If you don't have time to go into that kind of detail, that's ok too. Thanks again for reading and have a great day.