A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to my fic Like the Blood Running Through His Veins. That's not required reading for this, but it is recommended.
James burst into the Seventh Year boys' dormitory on Thursday night in a flurry of movement. He rushed to his trunk, flipping it open and pulling out his stash of cigarettes – and thanking Merlin that he only had a few packs left. He slammed the lid of his trunk down, made his way over to a bemused Sirius, and dumped the packs of cigarettes in Sirius' lap.
Remus and Peter looked over in interest as James pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and tossed that to Sirius as well.
"Lily said she would go with me to Hogsmeade next weekend if I stopped smoking," he said by way of explanation. He walked back to his own bed and flopped down onto it while his friends exchanged looks.
"Did she say that exactly, Prongs?" Remus asked. "Or did you just twist something she told you into that?"
James groaned and shot a dark look toward Sirius's lap, eyeing the packs of cigarettes that still rested there. Sirius rolled his eyes and got up to drop the cigarettes into his trunk, listening to James.
"I asked her to Hogsmeade next weekend," he started. "We've been getting on really well this year and it's nearly Christmas hols, so I figured, why not go for it? I saw her in the courtyard as I was having a cig and I finished it up and went over to her and said 'Alright, Lily? Fancy going with me to Hogsmeade next weekend? I need some help picking out Remus' gift and I thought maybe you could give me a hand.' And she looked at me a bit strangely and then after a few minutes she said 'I'll go with you if you quit that horrible habit.' and she pointed to my cigs."
"Sounds like she'll go with you if you quit, mate," Peter summed up.
"Exactly!" James said. "And I need help from you lot. Don't let me smoke, okay?"
"Can I use force, if necessary?" Sirius asked, picking his wand up from his bedside table and twirling it menacingly.
"No, you cannot you force," James said through gritted teeth. "I mean, it can't be that hard, right? Quitting, I mean. I can do it, yeah?"
His friends looked less confident than he felt.
"James," Remus started patiently, "Quitting is hard. Cigarettes are addictive and people go through withdrawals and get moody and have all kinds of other side-effects while quitting."
James shook his head. "I can do it."
(Day One)
It was nineteen hours since James had his last cigarette. Well, eighteen hours and forty-three minutes. Not that he was counting.
James was two classes into the day and was craving a cigarette. Remus had suggested eating a carrot whenever he wanted a cig, a trick that Remus' aunt had tried when she was quitting. Remus didn't mention that she had failed to quit and lasted about three days. James remembered that part of the story from when Remus first told it to them.
He took Remus' advice anyway, and between Potions and double Transfiguration he and Sirius made a quick run to the kitchens and nicked some carrots for him. He had already gone through four carrots.
(Day Two)
"Bloody fucking carrots," James muttered, biting into another one with much more force than was needed. Peter shot him a concerned look from across the table, while Sirius grinned at him.
"Get that stupid bloody look off your face, you wanker." Sirius' grin fell and Remus sighed.
It had been nearly fifty hours since his last cigarette and James had made two more trips to the kitchens for carrots. He stared morosely at his dinner and poked at the salad that was there. Peter had suggested eating healthier. He reasoned that maybe all the good things going into James body would even out all the bad that the cravings for the nicotine were making him feel. James didn't think it was working, but he downed another glass of water in false hope.
(Day Three)
Sixty-five hours.
James already wasn't a morning person, but when you added in his moodiness that had become present over the last few days, his attitude resembled that of a troll.
Normally, James loved Sundays. He liked getting to sleep late, have breakfast after everyone else had already left the great hall, and lazily do homework with the other Marauders. This Sunday, he didn't feel that way. He didn't feel relaxed after a long night's sleep – instead he was exhausted after two nights in a row of fitful sleeping. He couldn't focus on anything and he highly doubted he'd be getting any homework done. He had a Charms essay that he had put off until the last minute and he was deeply regretting it now.
He had made another two trips to the kitchens for carrots.
(Day Four)
James knew that Professor McGonagall was annoyed that he kept tapping his foot but he didn't bloody well care.
It had been eighty-nine hours and four more trips to the kitchens. James couldn't sit still. He couldn't eat carrots in class – he had tried and had gotten five points taken from Gryffindor – and all he wanted was a goddamn cigarette.
He caught another glare from Professor McGonagall and stopped tapping his foot. Only for it to pick up even more rapidly two minutes later.
(Day Five)
Remus was ready to pull his hair out. James was moodier than ever. He had been known to get a bit temperamental – and Remus was putting it nicely – when he didn't have his cigarette fix, but this was getting ridiculous.
It had been one hundred and thirty-three hours and James had gone to the kitchens three more times, something he was intent on letting everyone know. He was currently sitting across from Remus at a table in the Common Room, tapping his foot rapidly, his quill flipping between his fingers. He hadn't written anything on his parchment other than the title of his essay and his name and Remus was beginning to worry about him. Maybe it would be healthier for him to keep smoking and quit on Lily Evans.
(Day Six)
Sirius had taken to glaring viciously at Lily every chance he got. It had been one hundred and forty-six hours since James' last cigarette – one hundred and forty-six long, long hours. Sirius would be worried about his friends' mental health if he wasn't so annoyed with him. It was only one in the afternoon and Sirius had already had to take two trips to the kitchens with him.
He loved James, really he did, but he was ready to kill the annoying bastard. James was moody and Sirius just couldn't deal with it anymore. He was done with James yelling at him for no reason, shooting down everything Sirius suggested they do, and the crunching from the carrots James was constantly eating was driving him mad. And if that wasn't enough, James was constantly pestering Sirius for cigarettes and then getting mad when Sirius would move to get him one. Sirius was ready to use force, not to keep James from getting cigarettes, but to tie him to his bed and leave him there so that he couldn't bother Sirius anymore.
(Day Seven)
Peter rubbed comforting circles into James' back while looking helplessly at the other two Marauders. Somehow, James had become Peter's responsibility to look after, which wasn't the easiest task. James went from complaining about not having cigarettes, to begging Sirius for cigarettes, to yelling at Sirius for nearly giving him cigarettes, to brooding in a corner by himself.
Remus and Sirius started ignoring James after he nearly tackled Remus for suggesting that maybe he should just give up on quitting. James had been unfocused in classes and Peter had been recruited four times already to go to the kitchens with James and it wasn't even past six yet.
It had been one hundred and seventy-five hours and Peter was beginning to worry that James wouldn't make it much longer.
(Day Eight)
Lily had had enough. Black had been giving her dirty looks for days now, his glare burning into the back of her head and she couldn't take it anymore.
She marched up to where the Marauders were sitting, crossed her arms over her chest, and met Sirius' glare with one of her own. "What the hell is your problem?" she asked finally. "You've been giving me that look for days and I'm sick of it. And what the hell is wrong with James?"
Sirius just continued to glare, knowing his friend's temper much better after the last few days.
James paused, mid-bite, to look at Lily. After nearly a minute of silence he suddenly catapulted himself out of the chair he was sitting in, dropping his carrot and drawing the attention of Lily and the Marauders, as well as several other students in the Common Room.
"What the hell is his problem?" he repeated. "What the hell is wrong with me? I'll tell you what the hell is wrong, Evans! I stopped smoking for you! I haven't had a fucking cig in over two hundred hours and I think I'm starting to turn orange from all of the goddamned carrots I've eaten! I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, I can't think! And do you know what? You told me you would go out with me, so you're bloody meeting me outside the Great Hall tomorrow at ten for the fucking Hogsmeade trip, where I will not be getting my usual delivery of cigarettes because someone doesn't like them! And you gave me your word, so your cute arse had better bloody well be there!"
James turned, stopping to grab his carrots before stomping up the staircase to the boys' dormitories.
Several students looked around, not knowing what to do after witnessing the Head Boy lose it like that. Sirius, however, burst into loud laughter. Remus and Peter looked torn between laughter and concern for their friend, but one look at Lily's face and laughter won out. Remus tried to hold his in, bringing a fist up to his mouth, shaking his head when Lily looked to him for an explanation.
"Sorry, Evans," Peter said, trying to contain his laughter and failing miserably. "James tends to get a little… testy when he hasn't had his cigarette fix." He finally burst into laughter and Sirius took over.
"Looks like you've got a date with James, love." He let out another loud laugh and Lily shook her head and slowly walked away.
(Hogsmeade)
James leaned against the wall outside the Great Hall. He noticed a few of the other students looking at him and he heard some of their whispers. He caught "James Potter", "shouting fit", and "some Head Boy" a few times, but he was beyond caring.
He was about to go back up to the Common Room, convinced that Lily stood him up, when he caught sight of her at the top of the staircase. She made her way down and he tried not to stare at her until she was directly in front of him.
He cleared his throat. "Evans," he said as calmly as he could.
Lily looked at him with her head cocked slightly to the side. "Alright, Potter?" He nodded tightly and began walking toward the open doors. The walked silently down the path toward Hogsmeade. James was pretty sure his hair was completely on end from how many times he ran his hands through it and he took a moment to regret not bringing a hat. His ears were cold and if he had worn a hat he wouldn't have been able to mess up his hair.
He looked over at Lily. She was wearing a hat. She had on blue jeans and pair of leather boots that reached up to nearly her knees. She looked warm, bundled up in her coat, scarf, and hat, but James noticed that her hands were ungloved.
James didn't have gloves on either, but that was due to his inability to find his pair. He was nearly certain that Sirius had stolen them as punishment for James' moodiness lately, but he didn't care enough to actually ask Sirius. He had just settled for his coat and scarf and hoped it wasn't too cold.
He let his eyes wander over to Lily again and he wondered why she didn't wear gloves. Maybe she wanted him to hold her hand? Or maybe Sirius had stolen her gloves, too? Or maybe Lily just didn't believe in gloves, like some women didn't believe in bras.
James really wished he had a cigarette as he contemplated why Lily wasn't wearing gloves.
Was he supposed to hold her hand? Would she get mad if he did? She looked over at him and smiled shyly when she noticed that he had been staring at her. He felt heat rise in his cheeks and hoped that she assumed it was just the cold. Which it was. James Potter didn't blush.
Just as James had finally worked up the courage to grab her hand, they arrived at Hogsmeade.
Lily turned to him. "What would you like to do?" she asked politely.
He nearly passed out. He had been so determined to get a date with her that he hadn't even planned what they could do.
"Er, do you have any shops you need to go to?" James asked. Lily nodded. "Right, well, we could stop in wherever you need to and then have lunch at The Three Broomsticks?" Lily nodded again and James sighed with short-lived relief.
By the time they got to The Three Broomsticks, James was ready to crawl into a hole and never face Lily again. He had knocked over an entire shelf of ink while she had been buying a new quill, he ate a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean that he could have sworn was proper sick-flavored and he was nearly sick himself, and when he went out for some air while Lily was looking for a few book,s he almost sat on a First Year.
Now, in The Three Broomsticks, they had eaten with minimal mishaps and were having another drink before heading back to Hogwarts. James was tapping his finger incessantly on the table and his leg was bouncing up and down. After nearly upsetting the entire table, he managed to control his leg, but when the barmaid returned with a round of drinks "already paid for" James nearly knocked them over with how much he jumped. He scanned the pub nervously, knowing the drinks were from Sirius, but not knowing where he was and that worried James immensely. He tried to ignore the idea that Sirius was probably spying on him and Lily and focus on the conversation that they were having, which was nonexistent.
James was so preoccupied with his jumpiness and trying to reign in his moodiness that he could barely hold a conversation without tripping over his words. He knew he was being short, but he couldn't help it.
Lily surveyed him over her butterbeer and finally sighed. She put her hand over his and looked at him directly in the eye. "Are you okay, James?"
"I'm fine," he snapped, dropping eye contact. He felt her retract her hand and this time he sighed.
"Sorry, sorry," he said quickly, still avoiding eye contact. Lily smiled slightly.
"It's okay," she said quietly. He looked up and smiled gratefully at her. They finished their drinks quickly and began their walk back to the castle.
"So," Lily began as they were walking back, "You stopped smoking because I told you I would go out with you if you did. Why did you start?"
The question caught James off guard and he nearly stopped walking. "Oh, um." He cleared his throat. "I don't know really. I started when I found out my dad was sick. It got worse after his death, but then I thought I had a handle on it. I managed to cut down until my mum died and then I was up to nearly a pack a day again. Remus said that I was using it as a coping mechanism. Maybe he was right." James took a deep breath after that, keeping his eyes locked on his feet as they carried him along the path.
Lily didn't say anything. He heard her sharp intake of breath near the beginning of his story, but aside from that he had no indication that she had even heard him. Until he felt her hand softly gripping his. James thought he would float right out of his body, he was so happy. He hand was small and cold in his and he worried that his palm was sweating, but all thoughts cleared when Lily squeezed his hand gently. He squeezed back and they continued in silence until they reached the doors to the castle.
They paused inside the doors and Lily pulled James to the side when he made a move to go up the staircase.
"I had a really nice time today, James," she said, smiling shyly at him again. She was still holding his hand and now she was telling him she had a good times and James thought his heart was going to soar out of his chest. She leaned up on her toes and tugged gently on his hand, pulling him down slightly, and pecked him quickly on the lips.
The kiss didn't last more than five seconds and James barely had time to register that it was actually happening before it was over. Lily smiled at him once more and then set off up the stairs, nearly running, with a quick wave over her shoulder. James stood still, shocked. His hand reached up to ghost over his lips and he broke into a wide smile and he began to make his way up to Gryffindor Tower.
James returned to his dormitory in a daze. The other boys had already returned and looked at him questioningly.
"She kissed me," he said, dreamily, brushing his hand over his lips for the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes.
Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged looks.
"She loves you," Sirius sang. "Lily looooooves Prongs!"
"Did she say anything?" Remus asked. "Or did she just kiss you?"
"Give us more information, Prongs," Peter said finally, shushing Sirius.
"Well, after the date, which went horribly, we walked back here and talked. When we got inside the castle, she kissed me and then ran off," James explained.
Sirius burst into laughter and James frowned at him. "She ran off?" he asked between guffaws. "Were you that bad, mate?"
"I wasn't bad!" James protested. "It was barely even a kiss. She just pecked me really quick and then left."
"Did you grab her arse or something?" Peter asked. "Maybe you did something that upset her?"
"I didn't grab her arse!" James' hands jumped to his hair and his voice was starting to reach a hysterical level. "There wasn't even time to!"
He turned to Remus. "Remus, you're friends with her. Why'd she run away? I didn't do anything!"
Remus looked baffled. "I don't know James. Are you sure you didn't do anything to annoy her? That's usually what causes her to run off when you two are near each other."
Sirius started laughing again, and James rounded on him. "Shut up! Come on, you guys have to help me! Why would she just run off? I didn't do anything! I didn't even have a chance to! Stop laughing! Aren't you going to help me figure out why she kissed me and then bloody ran away? Merlin's tits, I need a cigarette, but I can't have one because I promised Lily and she kept her end of the deal! Fucking hell, this is why I smoke! Bloody fucking women and their bloody fucking trickery and mixed signals! Where are my carrots?"
Sirius' laughter reached a new high and Remus shook his head. James headed back toward the door of the dormitory, grabbing Peter on the way, declaring that they were going to the kitchens and that when he came back they would bloody well figure out what kissing him and then running away meant.
A/N: James Potter is lost cause without his cigs, man. Poor bastard. I posted this unbeta'd, so if you see any errors let me know. Reviews and that are lovely. Thanks for reading!
