"Welcome viewers!" Gobber the Belch said grandly as he, Stoick the Vast, and Sigrum Hofferson sat in large plush chairs behind a massive desk made of intricately carved oak. "Mah name is Gobber and joining me tonight are Berk's own Stoick the Vast and Sigrum the Traveler!"

The trio of men were all smiling lightly, but not overly so. Behind them was a large stage bathed in lights and surrounded by television screens and stage crews that were apparently working in haste to finish the final preparations for the night's event.

"As ye very well know, we," Gobber made a motion with his hand towards both himself and the two men beside him, "will be judging a number of contestants right here in the lovely island community of Berk. Based on a weighted score ranging from one to ten, each contestant will advance to tha next round minus the lowest scoring contestant in tha group. However, if ye choose so, you can save your favorite contestant automatically by sending in ah vote to our hotline at 1800-REVIEW NOW."

Gobber paused briefly as he listened to someone talking to him through an earpiece that was connected by a thin wire that came out of the back of his suit. "Alrighty folks, we're starting in five...four...three...two...one...and GOOO!" Gobber shouted as the lights dimmed slightly before completely going black.

"Gosh it disturbs me to see you, looking so down in the dumps." A gentle voice, if only slightly crazed-sounding said in the shadows of the stage as a massive chair was brought out to the center of the room.

"Every guy here'd love to be you! Even when taking your lumps!" The voice continued as a spotlight shone brightly down on the center of the stage.

Sitting casually within its confines was a beefy man gazing off in the distance while a larger man kneeled before him at the edge of one of the arm rests.

"There's no man in town as admired as you! You're everyone's favorite guy!" As the second man started to sing harder, the classical music filtering over the speakers began to pick up as well.

"Everyone's awed and inspired by you! And it's not very hard to see whyyyyyyy!"

A pause settled across the room as Fishlegs turned to face the crowd and gestured grandly.

"Nooooo ooooone's slick as Snoutlout! No one's quick as Snoutlout! No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Snoutlout!" With the final note Fishlegs tied a leather belt around Snoutlout's neck and spun away as quick as he had moved towards the beefy man.

The smaller but more built viking flexed heavily and the belt snapped easily. Several of the audience members gasped and more than one female swooned.

"For there's no man in town half as manly; so perfect, a pure paragoooon!"

At this a large portrait of Snoutlout posing flashed across the massive big screen tv behind the stage.

"You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanleyyyy!" Fishlegs gestured towards a trio of beefy men standing off to the side of the stage flexing, "and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be onnnn!"

At this several people in the audience stood up as well and sang along with Fishlegs and the extras on stage.

"Noooo oooone's been like Snoutlout! A king pin like Snoutlout!"

"As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!" Snoutlout agreed while fighting off Fishegs as the extras continued on.

"My what a guy, that Snoutlout!" They sang as Gobber began to consult with Stoick over the legality of so many people singing under a duo ticket.

"Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!''" The extras sang happily.

"Snoutlout is the best! And the rest is all drips!" Fishlegs threw in as the extras sang another line. In the middle of his line he accidentally splashed the beefy viking in the face with a cup of mead instead of handing it to him.

"Nooooo ooooone fights like Snoutlout! Douses lights like Snoutlout!"

Snoutlout grabbed Fishlegs with a devious smile and plowed into the extras on stage, starting a massive brawl.

"We should stop this, yeah?" Gobber asked quietly as the cameras zoomed in.

"Haha! Oh heck no! This is the best entertainment we've had since we got cable on the island!" Stoick cried as Spitelout cheered his son on.

"In a wrestling match nobody bites like Snoutout!" Tuffnut shouted from the backstage area before being wacked on the back of his head by Ruffnut. A distant cry of "my poor head!" could be heard.

"For there's no one as burly and brawny!" A cluster of women staring at him hungrily from the front row sang.

Snoutlout smiled brilliantly and flexed impressively, "as you see I've got biceps to spaaaare!"

"Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny!" Fishlegs added in while gesturing at Snoutlout as if he were taking a picture.

"That's right!" Snoutlout agreed while smirking at the cluster of women from the front row. "And every last inch of me's covered with hair!" He winked as the women went wild with cat calls and love proclamations.

One of the extras grabbed Snoutlout—who actually looked naturally surprised—as the other two jumped him and started another fight on stage. This one actually looked more physical than the last and Fishlegs was quickly drawn into it as well against his will.

"No one hits like Snoutlout!" One of the extras shouted while being belted in the face.

"Matches wits like Snoutlout!"

"In a spitting match nobody spits like Snoutlout!" Fishlegs cried out as Snoutlout got him in a headlock.

"I'm especially good at expectoratingggg!" Snoutlout sang as he spat on Fishlegs head.

"Ten points for Snoutlout!" The extras cried in unison as Snoutlout stood up while being handed a small basket. The buff viking then began to juggle a large number of eggs expertly while walking around the stage back and forth.

" When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs, every morning to help me get laaaarge!" Snoutlout tossed the eggs up in unison and then managed to catch most of them in his mouth to the audiences surprise. Swallowing them easily, he smiled again before continuing.

"And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge!" Again Snoutlout flexed impressively as the extras started back up again.

"Nooo ooone shoots like Snoutlout! Makes those beauts like Snoutlout!" An extra said as Snoutlout mimed shooting a rifle and the extra fell backwards onto the floor in a dramatic death.

"Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Snoutlout!" Fishlegs sang.

"I use antlers in all of my deeecoooratiiiiing!" Snoutlout added in as the extras came in for the finale.

"Say it again! Who's a man among men?" One extra sang out as the crowd began to chant his name as well as Snoutlout flexed one final time.

"SNOUTLOUT!"

"And then say it once more! Who's the hero next door?!" Another extra sang out only to be received by more cheers and chanting while Snoutlout posed heroically.

"SNOUTLOUT!"

"Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess?" The final extra sang before all three bowed and left the stage together.

"SNOUTLOUT!"

"Ask his fans and his five hangers-on!" Fishlegs sang out as he fell to his knees on the stage.

"There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down! And his name's S-N-O-U-T-L-O-U-T!" Fishlegs sang out, his voice going impossibly high without missing a single note.

"SNOUTLOUT" The crowd chanted as Fishlegs and Snoutlout stood together and sang the final note together.

"My what a guy, S-N-O-O-O-U-T-L-O-O-O-U-T!"

The lights fell briefly and the room was bathed in darkness as the stage was cleared and then the lights came back on as the extras and Fishlegs and Snoutlout bowed to the audience who were going crazy.

After the applause had died down, the cameras turned to the judges and their score cards.

"I'm giving ya lot a five, because ye had so much outside help. We really should disqualify ya for that, but it was still a pretty spectacular performance," Gobber said as he held up the scorecard showing a large five.

Several boos went out across the room.

"I'm going to have to agree on the who extras thing. You're under a duo ticket and even that is a bit much. Buuut I'm giving you an eight," Stoick said while sticking his tongue out at Gobber while holding up his score card as well.

"I'm giving you a ten because that was simply outstanding!" Sigrum said after suspiciously taking something from Spitelout's hands and stuffing it in his pockets as he held up his scorecard of ten.

The crowd erupted in applause and the duo and their extras bowed one more time before retreating into the back.

"Well folks," Gobber began as he turned to the cameras with his two friends. "We hope ye enjoyed that episode and ask that ye call in at 1-800-REVIEW NOW to let us know what ya think. Remembered that those two boyos are at the very bottom of the scoreboard right now!"

Beside them, a flashing screen showed the scores.

HICCUP: 30 Points

TUFF/RUFF: 29.9 Points

FISHLEGS/SNOUTLOUT: 23 Points

"Have a good night and we'll see ye again on Dragon Idol!"