Title: False Prophets Revealed & True Love Prevails

Author: C. Rosevere (chrisrose)

Written: Dec. 15, 2013

Genre: Humor/Romance/Drama/Parody?

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Reign episodes 1x01-1x08, set soon after 1x08 "Fated".

Summary: Mary returns! Nostradamus reveals! Catherine rages! Mary & Francis reunite! Author admits an aversion to angst!

Author's Note: My first multi-chapter fic instead of a one-shot! But I'm gonna post it all at once because I'm nice that way? Don't want to make you wait for the next part. And I think it's better if read all at once. Plus I'm a bit proud that I wrote it all today and want to show off. ;) (Update: Dec. 16: Revised a bit, fussing over phrasing. That's what I get for bragging!) This is also my first Frary fic (albeit still spoofy), and I'd like to dedicate it to my favorite Frary-lovin' friends (and faboo fic writers) - larc501fan and justcallmesmitty! I know you guys were crushed by the last Reign ep, so I hope this story cheers you up a bit. I'm sure the show won't have such an easy resolution to the angst. :P Thank you both for being so nice and encouraging of my writing, and putting up with my Mash-leaning tendencies and frequent criticisms of Francis. ;) This one's for you! (But anti-Frarians may enjoy since Catherine provides a snarky point of view ;))

FALSE PROPHETS REVEALED & TRUE LOVE PREVAILS

by: chrisrose

Chapter 1: False Prophets Revealed

\0/

"Mary's back!" Catherine hissed.

She stalked towards Nostradamus. He scurried backwards, slack-jawed and eyes bulging.

"M-My Queen! That's impossible. The prophecy... Mary left to save Francis from certain death. She loves him..."

"Tell me something I don't know!" Catherine snapped. "You're the seer! Why didn't you see her returning?"

Nostradamus looked everywhere but at the Queen.

"WELL?!" Catherine growled. "Why do you look so guilty?"

Her eyes narrowed, and her voice became dangerously soft.

"Have you been deceiving me, Nostradamus? Was my idiotic husband actually right for once when he called you a fraud and me a fool for giving you a position here at the palace?"

"I did it all for you!"

Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"I love you Catherine!"

The other eyebrow flew up.

"I mean, I love you, my Queen? Please don't kill me!" Nostradamus dropped to his knees. "Ow. That hurts. How does Francis do it? I'm not that old, am I?"

"What is the meaning of this? Explain yourself!" Catherine's face had turned bright red.

"Are you cross with me, Pumpkin? Or is that a charming blush I see? Dare I hope my affections are returned?"

Nostradamus clasped his hands together and fluttered his eyelashes imploringly.

"Stop talking nonsense! You will tell me the truth at once or I'll call the executioner. You might as well keep kneeling right where you are."

She slid her finger across her throat, meaningfully.

Nostradamus gulped.

Catherine's voice turned cheery. "How fortunate! We're already in the infirmary. No harm adding a few more bloodstains..."

"Alright I admit it! I lied about the visions! I'm a false prophet!"

He started to hang his head in shame, then suddenly straightened up, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Forgive me! I only wanted to be near you. To please you! You were most displeased when Mary came to Court. I knew how much you wanted a daughter-in-law you could control. Not one who was a Queen in her own right. You told me so."

Catherine nodded imperiously. "Go on."

"Well, I figured the best way to get rid of her... especially now that King Henry has his heart set on France allying not only with Scotland, but England too... should Mary claim both thrones..."

"Yes, yes. Get to the point." Catherine snapped.

"I knew your husband and son would never let her go." Nostradamus blurted. "Francis being so in love. He'd blame you for driving her away. I had to make it look like it was her fault. Her decision to leave. He doesn't know about the prophecy. He wouldn't believe it."

"That's why you encouraged me to tell Mary." Catherine mused. "When I wanted to simply kill her."

"I couldn't let you lose your son's affection. He would've suspected you if she died. I wanted him to blame Mary - hate her for breaking his heart. She didn't tell him her real reason for leaving."

"No, Francis would have talked her out of it. The idea that marrying her would somehow cause his death! Nothing but silly superstitions and lies." Catherine laughed. "And he's been right about that all along. How droll."

Nostradamus beamed, relieved at the Queen's good humour.

"But do tell..." Her voice was still pleasant. "How did you arrange for the death of one of Mary's Ladies, which you - falsely - foretold? In order to convince her to fear your predictions?"

"Oh that was easy! I have a... servant, of sorts. She's a little ...touched in the head. But very loyal to Mary - would do anything to protect her. This girl likes to eavesdrop and spy on people, but she can't hide from me! I knew she was listening when you spoke of poisoning Mary..."

"And when you suggested I scare her away with prophecies instead," Catherine muttered.

"Right! Then I made sure she was watching when I organized my medicine cabinet. Of course, later on I pretended I was angry at her for stealing the poison. Stupid girl has no idea she was manipulated."

Nostradamus puffed up his chest with pride.

"You were so certain she'd think of poison?"

"Yup! Pretty sure!"

"So confident she would not use this poison on me to save Mary?" Catherine's voice sharpened.

"Um...yes?"

Catherine casually studied one of her rings.

"So you risked my life with your convoluted schemes. Lied to me. Led me to fear needlessly for my son's safety."

The Queen glared down at the man still kneeling before her. He squirmed.

"Because of you, I jeopardized my relationship with Francis. Made an enemy of Mary when I might have been able to control her through false friendship. Drove away the girl who made my son happy and brought with her, not one, but two desirable alliances for France."

Catherine's face was turning a pumpkin shade again, verging on tomato.

"The loss of Scotland and England - and my vocal opposition to said alliance - endangers my position here as Henry's wife. He's only looking for an excuse to be rid of me. Oh! And you're responsible for the death of an innocent lady-in-waiting."

Nostradamus cowered. "B-but my love!"

"If that weren't enough," Catherine fumed, "You couldn't arrange for Kenna to be killed instead of Aylee? Aylee was actually useful to me, you numbskull! She was a valuable spy! Now, if you had poisoned Kenna - that mewling, whining, dolt who fancies herself Henry's new mistress - you would've been doing me a favour. Thanks for nothing!"

"I'm sorry! I'll fix it!"

"Exactly how do you plan to do that, you imbecile? Mary's back remember? Somehow she's seen through your deception. Or her love for my son is more selfish than I'd imagined."

"She can marry him after all," Nostradamus stammered. "No real harm done?"

"And the prophecy? Do you suppose I'll allow myself to be dragged down with you? Punished for trusting you?" Catherine snarled.

She removed one of her rings - the biggest and pointiest one - and rapped him over the head with it.

"That's just for starters. You stay here until I come back - on your knees! Uncomfortable, isn't it?" The Queen smiled sweetly. "I'll call a guard over to keep you company. Won't that be nice? Don't even think of moving."

Nostradamus shook his head frantically.

"I'm going to fix this mess. Like I always do. I'll deal with you later!"

With a dramatic flourish, Catherine swept out of the room. Nostradamus gazed after her admiringly.

"That's my Pumpkin!"