It's Cold

[Misaki's POV]

It was snowing, I was laying on the alley, the winter was harsh this year, I was, no, am hurt, all because of that stupid Usagi, I thought that the coldness would take it all away, but it still lingered, the pain in my heart, it won't go away, I had tried taking medicine, pain killers, ginger juice, and others that they said to remove the pain in the heart, but it lingered, now I am curled up into a ball, I only had my thin sweat shirt, my khaki pants, and shoes on, and nothing else, no scarf, no gloves, no coat, no Usagi to comfort me, nothing, I am all alone, I could feel a knife repeatedly stabbing my heart, but it never numbs, it would just pump painfully, and sink,

"Us…a…gi…sa…n…" I muttered, my voice sounded horrible, it was dried, and it cracked, then I felt something warm stream down my cheeks, I'm crying? Well, why shouldn't I be?

===Flashback===

Misaki had gone home early than expected from Mitsuhashi University, when he got home, Usagi-san-Akihiko- was heading out, they looked at each other, before looking away, Usagi went back inside, he was probably going to pick up Misaki, they hadn't talked since the day that happened, the day when Usagi-san came to pick up Misaki from Sumi Ryuichiro's household, where, Keiichi, Misaki's senpai had tried to make a move on Usagi-san, which he told Usagi that he was pushing Misaki, who didn't react, when Keiichi tried to kiss him, Misaki pulled Usagi away claiming his claim, Usagi went back to his normal self, until Misaki mentioned about giving one of the bear souvenirs from Takahiro to Keiichi, that Usagi told him that he should consider on starting to live all by himself as he was going to school, of course he was damned confused, shaken up, messed up, it was unsettling, Usagi was never, never like that, till now, which when he returned home, he had to change his clothes real quick but still wore the scarf, the scarf Usagi gave him, then he asked Usagi about it, but this resulted into big yells, fights, they trashed about the place, mostly Misaki did the damage himself,

"Why? Why? Usagi-san?!" Misaki screamed, Usagi then stayed silent, Misaki had asked Usagi why he was acting strange at first, which Usgai complain on how dense Misaki is, that made a nerve snapped on Misaki, making him step on the land mine, bringing up Akihiko's family, work, involvements, into it, about his unrequited love for his brother, Takahiro,-who was much denser- he didn't give Usagi a chance to speak who had been trying to call out to him, he shadowed his eyes, finally letting himself loose, "Is it because of what senpai said?" he hissed, Usagi flinched but didn't answer, "Usagi—Usami-sensei…tell me…" Usagi didn't reply, "Have you…

GROWN TIRED OF ME?"

Usagi flinched, his eyes widening, he opened his mouth then closed it again, Misaki who had balled his fists, loosened a bit only for it to tighten further, he gritted his teeth, he didn't mind the tears that had appeared, "Fine! I get it! I won't bother you anymore!" he screamed,

"Misa—" Usagi tried to call out to him only to be voiced out,

"If you want me out of your life so badly then just said so!" Misaki yelled, Usagi's eyes widened, Misaki glared, his eyes full of hatred, jealousy, and betrayal, his tears didn't help, hearing no reply, he added, "You know what?" with that he pulled the scarf off of his neck, that would've strangulated him if he didn't pulled it swiftly, he threw it to Usagi who stepped back, but it hit his chest, but caught it, his eyes widening further, "You can give that to senpai if you want!" Misaki glared, before shadowing his eyes, "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE! I THOUGHT YOU LOVE ME! I WANTED TO KNOW I LOVE YOU BUT…Y-Y-YOU…" he sobbed, "I DON'T NEED YOU! DAMNED RABBIT!"

"Misa—" but before Usagi could call out to stop him, the small brunette had ran past him, ran to the door and shut it behind him with a loud slam,

===End of Flashback===

It hurt like hell, I didn't know what was wrong with Usagi-san, nor what I did to make him act like that, but I don't care anymore, not even if there was an off-season snowstorm coming, and I am wearing this useless clothing that had given me nothing but cold…but what do I care? I don't have anyone, not anymore, the storm was getting bigger than it was, I had run away from Usagi-san's condo, I didn't know where I was going. Neither did I care, all I know is that I'm in some alley, where I am wearing this not-so warm clothes, and a snowstorm is ought to come, but I didn't have any strength to get up, my legs have given away hours ago form all of my running, I actually passed by some people I know, or they just know me, and called out to me what was wrong but I blocked them all out, it had gotten more colder, even if I call for help it would be useless, my voice wasn't working anymore, and if they did, I would only end up stuttering, and more like muttering to myself, and it would hurt my lungs if I try to scream, so I didn't even attempted, I am in the middle of nowhere, I don't know where I am, nor where I am supposed to be, I don't want to think anymore, I stared at the hard cement block where snow started to pile, some even piled on me, I hadn't move for quite a while now, I don't care if someone was searching for me, I didn't care anymore, all I know that my body is getting number, that my eyelids are growing heavy and tired, I couldn't care nonetheless, my fingers had gone pale, no, probably I had gone pale dead already, I couldn't feel my body at all, except for the pain in my heart, it had just been split into two, and been crushed to million pieces, but I didn't care, I had gotten away a great distance from Usagi-san's condo, I don't care anymore, not even if I wind up dead, I just want all of this to stop, I want this clenching of my heart to stop, I want the pain to stop, I then stared at the now covered cement in snow, it had reach my ankles, I just stared at it lifelessly, I know that my lips are already blue, I know that I had already turned white, but I don't and won't care, before I have been afraid of it, but now, I don't care if it starts mocking me, laughing at me,

'Baka Usagi…' then my eyelids went heavier, my head ached before it disappeared, my head feels light, but my heart only tightened, it had grown hard to breathe, my heart also felt heavy, that I somehow want to cut the veins off of it from my chest to stop the weight, my vision started to blur, my ears was ringing, I blinked, it wasn't going to help, then, I slowly closed my eyes darkness consumed, soon a blurred image is seen, it looked familiar, when it got clearer, 'Usagi-san…' he smiled like he usually does, that I couldn't help but smile in return, but it didn't last long as I felt tears streamed down my cheeks,

"Misaki…I love you…" I heard him say, that was when I know, no, knew it, his face was close now, like he was going to land a kiss, that I actually carved for, I could've grabbed his face and apologize, but my body wouldn't move and instead it become totally numb, I couldn't move at all,

"I love you too…Usagi-san…" that I have managed to say out clear, but I didn't mind happy at what I did,

"isaki…" someone was calling me, the image of him had disappeared, which only made my heart clench tighter, I could feel myself slipping, "saki…" the voice grew fainter, it was familiar though, and it had this concerned but warm soothing tone to it, I smiled, before I let myself sleep, with a small smile attached on my face, tears still there, and as I was losing conscious, the last thing I heard before I was consumed in darkness was,

"MISAKI!"