I stared at him through the glass, his hand pressed to it with mine pressing on the other side. I wanted to be with him, wrapped up in his arms, for him to tell me it would be alright. But none of that will happen. I am going to die, that is the plain simple truth. I knew it the moment I walked into the chamber, but I couldn't help but be scared. I saw the tear run down his face and I really wanted to wipe it away. I feel myself slipping, I draw in a deep breath, released it before falling into the darkness.

I felt myself waking up, but that couldn't be right. I died, I was exposed to way too much radiation to still be alive. I opened my eyes to see Bones tending to me. He started to explain what happened, but my mind was to foggy to really understand. Then he moved to the side and I saw him. I whispered, "thank you" to him. I knew he had helped some way and I just had to thank him.

Bones muttered that Urhara and him had helped some too. But went back to doing what ever it was he was doing. I was too focused on Spock to notice anything else. Or even care about anything else.

Spock came and visited me everday while I was in the hospital. Urhara and Bones were there to. It was nice to be able to relax and have my friends there. But I enjoyed my times with just Spock more. We had been growing closer since my death experience. Urhara and him broke up while I was still in the between state.

I heard about how Spock beat the shit out of Khan. If wasn't for the fact Khan is immortal I am sure Spock would've killed him. Its a good thing he didn't die though because if he did I wouldn't be here anymore.

Scotty came and visited me and told about how Spock was so upset that he actually showed some emotions. Spock of course denied it right away. But Urahara backed up Scotty telling about how it took her so long to get Spock to stop trying to kill Khan. She had to metioned it would save me for him to stop beating him. I was laughing trying to imagine what that would look like.

Spock accompanied me to the headquarters to find out about our next mission. I kept telling Spock about how this time we would be going on the five year mission. Spock was telling me every reason why we wouldn't get the mission. Then I would follow up by arguring with him about why those reasons weren't true. I never did convice him that we would.

Guess what! Our next mission was the first five year mission for deep space. I was able to tell Spock; "I told you so" but he didn't appreaciate that one very much. I looked over all the paperwork that had to be done before the start of the mission, signing off on the ones needed signing, worked with Spock to get everything prepared. Told all of my remaining crew about it, everyone was excited!

On the day of takeoff, I gave a speech about how this was a great honor and the such. On the U.S.S. Enterprise everyone was busy at their stations getting ready for takeoff. When I walked in Chevok announced, "Captain on the Bridge", I never got tired of hearing my title. Not because I was self-centered but because I can't believe I got this far this quick. It felt like a dream.

I was on Alpha shift for the day, so I got to see over the first part of the journey. There wasn't much to see considering all of what we were seeing was founded and known. Don't get me wrong it was beautiful sight, but I was ready for something new.

I needed something new after everything that has happened.

"Captain, at our current speed we will be to the location they want us to start look at first in two days. The Enterprise is stocked and ready to go for the next month and a half." I heard Spock say from my left side, I glanced at him. Spock was standing stifly, looking ready to go. He has been rather protective of me since I have woke up, but I wasn't complaining.

"Good, good. So when we get down to that half a month supplies turn around come back to the closest refueling station. Is there anywhere specific they want us to look at first?" I asked trying to remember if there was or not.

"No, just the first planet we encounter, and then move onto the next one. They want us to examine a planet every two weeks if we can. Logically, we need one month off after working for a month." I nod my head, Spock didn't need a vocal answer for him to know I understand.

"Well that covers anything I needed to know or answered. Was there anything else you need from Spock?" I looked up and met his eyes, he leaned down closer to me.

"Is possible for us to talk privately after out shift, Captain?" He was so quiet I almost didn't catch it.

"Yes, just to meet me at my cabin after my shift and anything else you need to do first?" I wondered what he needed to talk to me about that he didn't want others to hear about. Probably nothing too big.

Spock just nodded his head before returning to his seat. I stared out the window looking at everything we were passing by, thinking about what we could possibly discover at here. Hopefully nothing like the Klingons, we don't need anymore foes like that. The shift went by rather quick, I was mostly zoned out.