A/N: I've been kicking around the idea of the Simpsons in the "Hey Arnold" world for ages, especially since Craig Bartlett and Matt Groening are brothers-in-law, as far as I remember. And I've been looking for a reason to use my OC, Stephanie Simpson, the oldest Simpson child, for ages. She's starred in her own stories before, but now she's coming to crossover territory. The Simpsons are moving to Hillwood, taking place a year after the show. Stephanie will explain.

OK, first of all, a big SORRY to the AXH fans, Arnold and Helga will most likely not play much of a role in this fic at all. They will be around a bit, but this fic is going to focus on a more minor character, and sorry to everyone who likes the canon pairing (you'll understand when he first appears), I love it too, but it's not going to be here.

Disclaimer: Craig Bartlett and Matt Groening own everything you recognize. I only own Stephanie.

I knew that Hillwood was going to be better than boring Springfield. But, still, I wondered what the kids at middle school were going to be like? I was just about to start ninth grade and because Dad nearly blew up Springfield, Burns finally fired him and we all had to move.

I saw a bunch of kids on the way in, but they were in Lisa's grade. She was the nerdy little brainiac, who's skipping third grade and going into fourth this year. Bart was going into fifth. Anyway, these fourth-graders...one of them lived next door. I hadn't talked to her on that first day, when I saw her in her room, but my bedroom window was directly opposite hers (I shared with Lisa in Springfield, but here we got our own rooms). In the evening, I looked over and she had what looked like a heart shaped locket. She kissed that thing before she switched the light off. I don't know...she looked up at her window just after she'd kissed it and saw me looking, then she scowled and brandished her fists at me.

Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't explained enough, have I? The name's Stephanie Taylor Simpson and I was fourteen at the time – well, I am still. My parents were – are – Homer and Marge Simpson, and my siblings are Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson. Bart was almost eleven, Lisa had just turned nine and Maggie was two and a half and had finally stopped clinging to her pacifier all the time and started talking. They're all nuts, compared to me. As I said, Lisa's a nerd, and while she should've been starting third grade at the new school (which has kindergarten up to twelfth grade), she was skipping it and going into fourth. Bart was the exact opposite, and frankly, I was surprised he had enough marks to get to fifth grade this year, but he did it.

It's because of Dad's new job that we had to move. I didn't bother to find out what he was doing, but being fired from the nuclear power plant in Springfield was the reason. And our new house doesn't seem that bad, except for Little Miss Locket-Kissing-Fist-Threatening next door.

Bart talked to a couple of the kids, though, although he only met the fourth-graders. A bunch of them were playing baseball, and he tried to join in. Apparently the girl playing catcher was opposed to letting a new kid join in. He said he only really got to meet Arnold, some kid who has a head shaped like a football. He said one of the girls even called Arnold "Football Head".

"The weirdest girl lives next door." I told my siblings the next morning, before we went out to catch the school bus. "I saw her getting ready for bed through my window. Her hair was still up in pigtails and she never took off the giant pink bow she was wearing."

"Pink bow?" Bart asked. "That girl I saw yesterday, she had a huge pink bow in her hair. She lives next door?"

I shrugged. "Probably is her. Not many girls wear bows that are that size."

"She was yelling at everyone else and telling them what to do yesterday." Bart explained. "Seems like she runs things. Bad luck for you, huh, Lisa?" He smirked at our little sister. "You already have a girl running things in your grade."

"Shut up." Lisa snapped. Then she smiled, changing the subject a bit. "I'm looking forward to facing a new academic challenge this year. It'll be fun."

I groaned. "I'm surrounded by crazies. Fun, Lisa? Seriously? Do you need a slap in the face? School isn't meant to be fun. Maybe you can make a few friends this time. I'm sure they'll be a few geeks who don't mind accepting you. Bart, how come you even noticed what the girl was wearing? Do you have a crush on her or something?"

Bart glared defensively. "I don't like her."

"Oh, so you love her, rather than just liking her?"

"No way!"

I ignored that and pulled him into an intentionally smothering hug. "Awww, my little brother is finally growing up and finding love!"

Dad walked in at that moment. "Bart, you've got a girlfriend?" He said. "Listen, boy, I know exactly how to charm a girl-"

"I don't have a girlfriend!" Bart said, blushing scarlet.

Mom had been busy washing dishes, but she seemed to come back to life at that. "Stephanie, stop teasing him. You three need to go to the bus stop. There's a girl next door that takes the same bus. Her dad came over yesterday afternoon to welcome us and tell us about his beeper store...well, they're selling mobile phones more now, but they still call it a beeper store."

"I've seen the girl next door. Her bedroom's opposite mine." I said. "She's totally insane. She was kissing a locket last night and acting all dreamy, and the minute she saw me watching her, she had a complete mood swing and threatened me with her fists from the window."

"Stephanie, don't judge her." Mom said sternly. "My best friend in middle school kissed her poster of Paul McCartney every night. It's a perfectly normal thing to do."

"Not when you're nine years old!" I protested. "And what's with her mood swing, anyway? I get that she was probably embarrassed about getting caught, but she didn't need to take a figurative swing at me. Next thing, she's probably going to tell me that if I'm not careful, she'll introduce me to her fists, which actually have names. Anyway, Mom, what did you say her name was?"

"Oh...I'm not sure." Mom said. "There are two daughters, but they have very similar names. Their dad said one of them was away at college, but the other is in your grade, Lisa."

"Watch out, Lise." I teased. "I'm too tough for her to pick on, so I'll bet she'll start in on you."

As it happened, we did meet the girl. She said her name was Helga G. Pataki, not bothering to explain what the G stood for. She didn't say anything in front of the others about me watching her, but she pointedly gave me a good look at the fire in her blue eyes that said "Spy on me again and I'll pound you."

So I decided to answer out loud. "Helga, just because I saw you out the window last night doesn't mean I was spying on you. Maybe you should close the curtains next time you want to keep your actions secret."

In three seconds, Helga was right in my face, and was gripping the front of my black singlet with one hand and balling her other hand into a fist. "Listen, new girl," she hissed. "If you ever tell anyone what you saw, I swear I'll-"

I interrupted her, easily twisting out of her grip and pinning her hands to her sides. "You'll what, Hells? Fight me? Forget it, like you could even take me in a fight." I smiled sweetly at her. "You need to have some idea on how to fight before you decide to take on a teen. Oh," and I pointed to Bart, "And don't think about trying to take him on, either. He's stronger than me." I blushed pink underneath my makeup, but Bart grinned with pride. He just loved knowing that he could take me and win.

Then the bus came, and all of us got on, wondering what our new school would bring.

So, that's the first chapter. A lot of exposition. The next chapter will jump a little, so we'll learn more.