How to Mend a Broken Heart
by Lady of Spain

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns twilight. Banner by LOS

Chapter 1: Shattered Dreams

Alice was sure to pick up on my thoughts. I was desperate to see my wolf boy. Edward and I would be married in three short weeks. Who knew if I would ever be alone with Jacob again until then?

So … I was with Edward in his beautiful garden out back of his mansion, when once more the age old discussion turned to my visits to La Push.

I was ready to tear my hair out. My foot was tapping impatiently. "You're being ridiculous. If Jacob is so dangerous, then why hasn't he sunk his canines into my jugular by now? If he hasn't hurt me yet, then he never will. Heaven knows, I'm the one that's always hurting him."

His face took on that annoyingly arrogant look. "Now you're being ridiculous, and melodramatic, I might add. As to hurting him … he's a big boy. He'll get over it."

"Will he? He might be a big tough boy as you say, but his heart is soft, and fragile. I miss him, Edward, and he misses me."

"Well, you're not going over there today, and that's that."

Crap—I knew it, Alice blabbed. Oh yeah? … Just watch me. "I can't argue with you over this. I'm tired. Take me home right now."

Edward dropped me off at my door step. I didn't say goodbye, or let him kiss me—if you call what his lips do even remotely resemble a kiss. I slammed the door to that stupid silver Volvo, and ran into the house without looking back. His tires squealed as he raced out of the driveway. He obviously wasn't very happy either.

I waited a few minutes to make sure he wasn't going to return, then sped out to my truck. I keyed the ignition—nothing. I tried it again—still nothing, just an irritating little click. Ugh! Now what? I popped the hood, and even I could see that the battery cables were gone. This was the last straw. I stomped back into the house, and phoned Jacob.

JPOV:

"Whoa, slow down. Breathe. Okay, okay. I'll come get you." What did that filthy leech do to her this time?

Jeez, am I ever a sucker. He does something wrong, she gets mad, and I have to deal with the aftermath. And still … here I am going to smooth her ruffled feathers. Why am I such a glutton for punishment?

When I arrived at the house, she jumped out the door, nearly flattening me in the process, not that I was complaining or anything, but jeez! I'd never seen her so emotional. Bella was like a powder keg, threatening to explode. She was all over me, squeezing me tight.

There wasn't much conversation in the car on the way over to my place. I figured she'd come clean when we got there. Man, the tension in the air was … well, it was enough to slice with the proverbial knife.

Dad wasn't home. He was over at Uncle Omni's for his brother's birthday. In hindsight, maybe he should've been here to stop us. It would've saved me a lot of heartache; then again maybe not.

We moved to the couch and Bella plopped down with a thud. Man, she was seeing red. I opened my mouth and asked, ""So, what's up, Bells."

She wet her lips, and all at once, a deluge of words and frustrated sounds poured out in a heated torrent. "We argued again, what else?" Then she pointed a finger at me, saying, "And you were the matter of contention."

Sweeeet—she was defending me against that bloodthirsty tick.

"Edward doesn't want me seeing you. He forbids me to see you. He even had the gall to mess with my truck. He removed those wire thingies that attach to the battery."

"The battery cables?"

"Yes—ugh! I can't even—I'm so—"

While she was struggling to spit it out, I finished the sentence for her. "Mad?"

Her arms were flailing about, above her head. "Mad? I'm more than mad; I'm fuming. Is this how he's going to treat me after we're married? Like some imbecile without a brain in her head?"

Suddenly she sprang up from the couch and furiously tore the diamond bauble from the bracelet I had given her not that many months ago. She angrily pitched it across the room. It bounced to the far wall, finally landing on the floor, rolling under the TV stand.

I sat there like an idiot taking in all this drama. Noticing the amazed expression on my face, she twisted that hideous engagement ring until it slid off her finger, and sent it, sailing through the air as well.

Her anger expended, she snuggled up close to me, and whined, "You wouldn't ever treat me that way, would you? I mean if we were married."

Whoa, where was this conversation going?

"No, honey," I softly answered, as I threaded my fingers through her hair. "I could never do that to you. You have your god-given free agency. It's up to you to make your own decisions.

"You know, I meant what I told you that day by the pond. You have another option, and it's sitting right next to you. I'm in love with you, Bells. I can't help it, and I make no excuses about it."

Bella lifted her head from my shoulder, and circling one little arm around my neck, gazed deep into my eyes. There was no way I could disguise the feelings of tenderness and longing housed in them. She picked up on it, and commented, "Why can't Edward be more like you?"

I chuckled at that response. "Good question. But think about it, Bells. He is a lot older than you" Eighty years to be exact. "He's set in his ways; got a schedule for everything." I leaned back against the cushions, pulling Bella along. "Now, me on the other hand—I like to be spontaneous. It keeps you alive, always wondering what's gonna happen today? It's exciting, you know?"

Bella looked up at the ceiling, chewing on that thought for a few seconds. Her eyes finally drifted back to mine. "You see things so clearly, Jake. No grey areas—black and white—and truth, even if it hurts."

"And what is your truth?"

"I don't know."

"Yes … you do."

"Yes, I do," she whispered as she pressed her cheek to mine. I could tell her emotions were running deep.

I took her chin in one hand and forced her to face me. "Why are you here, Bells? What do you want from me?"

She averted her eyes, avoiding my stare, but I heard her heart rate speed up, and at the same time, my heart caught the rhythm, and began beating in sync.

Her palm glided gently over my cheekbone, as our eyes met. "Jake … why do you put up with me?"

"You know why."

Exhaling loudly, she said, "You're too good. I don't deserve you. I only make you miserable."

"Miserable is better than feeling nothing at all."

"I'm sorry—I'm so—"

Bella suddenly stopped talking and did what her heart wanted. She touched her lips to mine.

BPOV:

I didn't understand what was happening, and didn't really care either. The boy was so sweet, so genuine, how could I not have feelings for him? There was just one problem—that simple little kiss left me wanting more.

I climbed on his lap, shamelessly seducing him. Sure, I realized what would happen next, but there was no will left in me to stop. I loved Jacob; maybe that was why I couldn't separate myself from him for any length of time.

It was inevitable. We wound up in his bedroom, on the mattress, under the sheets.

JPOV:

I couldn't believe what was going on. Bella was like a different person; her usual restraint was no longer evident. Her emotions were on display for once. No doubt about it, at this moment, she wanted me—Edward be damned.

Jeez, trying to resist the temptation was nearly impossible. I was burning with desire, and she was pouring gasoline on the flames. It was getting increasingly harder to control myself when the girl I was in love with all this time was coming onto me so strongly. I surrendered, following her lead, and tenderly brought her into womanhood.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, but when she woke up, the spell that bound us had slipped away into the night, at least as far as Bella was concerned.

The girl removed my arms from around her, wiggling to get free. Then she continued to push me away, like I had kooties or something. Sliding down the side of the mattress, naked, she fell to her knees onto the floor. She was crying hysterically; my temporary happiness shattered to smithereens.

"Oh my god … oh my god …!" she sobbed. "What have I done? I'm getting married in three weeks. What will Edward say? What will he do when he finds out? Will he even want me now? Ruined—I'm ruined. I must've been insane coming here. What am I going to do?"

I slipped off the bed, kneeling beside her. "Bells, don't do this." I reached out, but she shuddered at the feel of my hand.

"Jacob, please—don't touch me," she wailed.

My stomach was twisted in knots. The dreams of our being together were swiftly being crushed beneath the weight of her words. What went wrong? I was so careful not to hurt her. Our physical connection was beyond belief. It was heaven for both of us I thought, so why was she acting like this?

Her face was hidden behind her hands, as the sobbing continued. I helplessly looked on, wondering what in the world I could do.

The crying finally subsided, and she stood, grabbing her clothes and stepping back into them; all the while, refusing to look at me. She turned, walking toward the living room. I pulled on my jeans, following her.

Bella was frantic, searching the area for that god-damned ring, and the million dollar diamond that the leech had the nerve to attach to the bracelet that I made for her—I MADE FOR HER. Was that it, then? My little wooden wolf couldn't compare with the expensive rock that he gave her? I tossed that reasoning aside quickly. Nah …that wasn't Bella.

She started out the door when I grabbed her arm. "C'mon, Bells, talk to me. What did I do to bring this on? If you didn't want this to happen, you should never have kissed me. You started it, and you knew damn well that I wouldn't be able to control myself. I just went along with it, thinking that you wanted me." I began to choke on my words. "That you loved me."

Her face was stone as she said, "I do love you, Jacob, but this was a big mistake. There were all these emotions, and I let them overtake me. I wasn't thinking rationally"

"So this is it? I'm only a one night stand to you? Why don't you just stab me in the chest, and get it over with. That'd be a blessing, instead of me standing here, with my heart bleeding out with pain and regret."

Sighing in exasperation, I said, "You know, you act like I have no feelings. Well guess what? I have feelings too. What is wrong with you, Bella? Do you enjoy seeing me suffer?"

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, then added, "goodbye, Jake," as she went out the door.

"Great—you're sorry—you're always sorry. And that makes everything all right, doesn't it? Jeez, I can't take this anymore." I hoped she heard me. I collapsed onto the couch, feeling numb, and going over what the hell just happened.