Hi there! I'm Red Mage and this is War and Ignominy, a Sailor Moon shoujo-ai. Regrettably I don't own Sailor Moon, or her band of merry generals, but I do like to intermittently drop them into peril and interfere with their love lives. In short, that's why this story exists. I hope you enjoy it and all feedback is duly appreciated.

WAR AND IGNOMINY

DREAMS

Rei burst awake, gasping into the blackness. She clutched at her racing heart, perturbed to discover she had somehow undone several buttons on her nightshirt in her sleep. A tremulous whimper she didn't like to think of as hers escaped her, and she put a hand over her mouth to quiet herself. Her whole body was clammy, her pyjamas soaked to the touch, and she was excruciatingly aware of the heated, needful spot pulsing between her legs.

Rei didn't consider herself a particularly sexual person – she didn't make a habit of having erotic dreams and rarely thought about the act of sex out of anything other than anatomical curiosity – yet this was the third night in a row she had woken up this way: not just horny, not just flustered, but truly desperate to surrender to someone.

"Stop it," she muttered. "You're behaving like an animal." Huffing to herself, she ran a hand through sweaty black locks and tried to calm down.

In spite of their terrifyingly powerful effect on her, the details of the dreams evaded Rei the second she awoke. Her lover's voice would distort away and, no matter how frequently she met that intent gaze, she felt she was always looking at her from the corner of her eye. Yet, in spite of this vagueness, Rei knew on a gut level that it was Minako. She just knew, with the same instinct and conviction she felt when an evil power was at work. Not that this was a surprise: after all, she had been attracted to Minako for a long time. Years of friendship had given way to a crush Rei didn't quite know what to do with, but she prided herself on her own self-discipline and was sure up until recently that had things under control. The sheer power of these fantasies, however, was overwhelming; she was starting to wonder whether her hormones were becoming her master.

Rei gathered her thoughts. She had to find some practical way to deal with these… urges, so she resolved to get up even earlier for her morning meditation. Senshi business aside, she had always found peace of mind at the sacred flame before. However bothersome these thoughts were, she was sure she could curb them with enough concentration.

In the dark, Rei focused on slowing her breathing until her heartbeat returned to normal. She peeled off her pyjamas and grudgingly resigned herself to sleeping naked. Slumping back into bed, eyes to the ceiling, she willed the rest of the night to be dreamless.

"Up again?"

Minako lay across the couch, her head resting on her heel of her palm. She smiled wearily, dark-rimmed eyes fixed on the TV. "This rerun won't watch itself, you know," she joked.

"It's almost three," Artemis chastised. A pregnant silence passed between them. Artemis was a pet and a father to Minako, and something about that combination granted Minako the ability to be wrenchingly honest with him. She opened her mouth to make one such admission, wondering even as her lips moved if she could actually say it. "I'm afraid to go to sleep."

She felt his gaze upon her, loaded with so much concern it was palpable. "Mina..."

"I am," she said simply. The corners of her smile wavered. "She... haunts me, Artemis. It's so vivid now, it's like I can feel her. I wake up and look at my hands and I don't understand how I'm not touching her. And my memories from back then are getting clearer, too. If I wanted to, I could describe every scenario, every setting... every position from beginning to end."

Even through his white fur Artemis blushed crimson. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather you didn't." He continued gently, "It'd be better for you not to think about it, either, if you've really made up your mind. Are you sure it's what you want?"

Minako didn't answer him. Lazily she turned the volume up with the remote, listening to a news report she had already heard every night this week:

"Astronomers around the world are thrilled to witness such an interesting planetary event. Not only are Venus and Mars in alignment, they are both the closest recorded distance they have ever been to Earth..."

And the closest they've ever been to each other, Minako thought in frustration. She sighed. "No wonder I'm having flashbacks. I'm being flanked by our planets."

"Mina," Artemis said again, this time in expectation. He wanted her answer, she realised. She had indeed made her decision, but it was a tough one to stick with. For months now the spectre of Rei's past had traced patterns along her skin, filled her with sensations she had never known in this life. It had been occasional in the beginning. Now it was a bombardment of pleasure moments, every night a battle with familiar temptations. These days she ached with it so much that she struggled to meet Rei's gaze and not blush.

Noticing a twinge in her neck, Minako sat up and tucked her legs beside her. She met Artemis's gaze, inclining her head in determination. "This has to be the worst of it. If I can withstand this, I can carry on pretending."

She watched something flicker across his gaze. She knew he wanted to ask what was so good about pretending, that he was aware she was keeping something from him. Nonetheless, this was one of those crosses Minako knew she should bear alone.

"Besides," she added. "It's not like Rei is interested in me. All I have to do is not do anything crazy."

"All you have to do?" Artemis said in jest.

Minako grinned and threw a cushion at him. As he fled back upstairs, Minako resigned herself to following him. She was losing enough sleep herself without him losing any worrying about her. She cast one more glance at the TV, hit the power button and reluctantly went back to her room.