Title: Hunger Pains
Author: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Summary: Pre-TPM, (Obi is 17). The 2 Jedi are attending an important meeting with the Council, Obi is hungry. Sequel to "Rush Hour", you can find that fic here: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/Obific.html
Feedback: Always appreciated!!
Archive: Please ask me first.

Disclaimer: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas
Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are
copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of
Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the
writing or distribution of this story.

Notes: Special thanks to Bren, Sio, Katie, Robin and Telly for continuing to inspire me!! You guys are insane!!!
=============
Hunger Pains
=============

(Qui and Obi are hurrying down the corridor trying to get to the meeting with the Council. They are already late.)

Qui: Come on Obi-Wan, keep up with me. The Council is waiting.

Obi: Slow down master, please. I can't move that fast when I have to pee.

Qui: I thought you were hungry.

Obi: I am. STARVING. But, I've gotta go so bad that my bladder hurts. Please master. Can I just stop for a second, I can't hold out any longer.

(Qui looked at Obi's face, contorted in pain.)

Qui: Okay, there are facilities right up here. But make it quick.

Obi: I will, thank you master. (Obi hurries to the bathroom. A minute later, he is once again at Qui-Gons side.)

Qui: Better?

Obi: You have NO idea. Now can we stop for food?

Qui: Don't start that. One stop is all you get. We are already late, no need in compounding the problem.

Obi: My stomach is talking to me. Feed me. Hear it? It's bad. I need food.

Qui: You need a hobby. Stop whining Obi-Wan. Here we are.

(The pair enter the Council chambers. The entire circle of Council members turn to stare at them.)

Yoda: Late you are, what reason you have?

Qui: My apologies my master. We had traffic problems.

Yoda: No excuse this is, late you are yet again. Begin we will.

(The meeting began and proceeded. 30 minutes into it, Obi's stomach started its protest.)

Yoda: Have something to say do you, padawan Kenobi?

(Obi's face turned beet red.)

Obi: Um, no Master Yoda. Nothing at the moment. (But it only got worse.)

(While several of the Council conversed amoungst themselves, Qui whispered to his apprentice.)

Qui: Padawan, please. Keep the noise down.

Obi: Master, I can't. Talk to my stomach. It's not my fault. You didn't feed me last night remember?

Qui: I did feed you. You just didn't eat. Force that's loud.

Obi: Sorry. You sure you don't have a candy bar or something in your pocket? Let me look.

Qui: Obi-Wan, I don't have any pockets. And no, I don't have a candy bar or anything else for you to eat. You will just have to wait it out.

Obi: mmm...can't master, so hungry, it hurts. Please feed me.

Qui: Shhh!!

(Attention is shifted back to the 2 Jedi)

Yoda: Strange noises I hear. Your stomach that is Padawan Kenobi?

Qui: Well, go on Obi-Wan, tell him the truth.

Obi: Uh, yeah...kinda...um...I mean, yes Master Yoda. I'm just a bit hungry.

Qui: A bit? You told me you were starving.

Yoda: Hungry you are. Master Qui-Gon, do not you feed your apprentice correctly? A growing boy he is. 3 meals a day he must have. Do not know this, do you?

(Qui couldn't believe that Yoda was turning on him for Obi-Wan's failure to eat problem.)

Qui: I assure you my master, the boy is being fed.

Obi: That's not what my stomach tells me. Hear it? It's not happy.

Qui: Well maybe if you would eat rather than critique my driving all the time, you wouldn't have this problem. (Their voices were increasing, the Council members began to stare.)

Obi: The way you drive, it's a wonder the food stays in my stomach. You're a dangerous man. Spend most of your time yelling at everyone else rather than paying attention to what is going on in front of you.

Qui: What does my driving have to do with your unwillingness to eat my cooking?

Obi: Master, your cooking is nasty. There! I said it.

Qui: The truth comes out finally? Fine! You can starve.

Obi: I already am...ask my stomach.

Mace: Excuse me, you 2. We have a meeting going here?

Qui: Not right now Mace. Okay Obi-Wan, what do you suggest?

Obi: I'll eat out.

Qui: Everyday, every meal, no matter where we are?

Obi: Um, yes. I will.

Qui: No, you won't. You will eat my cooking. Or you can cook yourself. Now wait a minute, there's an idea.

Obi: You know I don't like to cook. That's the master's job.

Qui: The master's job? I think not young padawan. In fact, I believe that we will, as of today, start sharing the cooking duties.

(Obi went silent, and looked away.)

Qui: Nothing to say? No wisecrack? Unusual for you, but I think this idea will work.

Obi: You are so mean.

Qui: I know I am. It'll be fun. Quality time in the kitchen. I can show you all my secrets.

Obi: Yeah, so I can avoid them.

Yoda: If done you are, the meeting we must continue. Your domestic squabble, wait it can.

Qui: And I don't want to hear another crack about my driving either.

Obi: Master, you don't do well in traffic, so deal with it. Wide open spaces, you are great. But put traffic in to the mix and you become Mr. Aggressive. Must be the age thing. Mid-life crisis or something.

Qui: One more thing comes out of that smart mouth of yours, and you won't live to see mid-life. But you will have a crisis. Zip the lips padawan.

Mace: Jinn, Kenobi, PLEASE!

Obi: I saw you wearing those reading glasses the other day. You thought you were being sneaky didn't you? Face it master, you're getting old.

Qui: Obi-Wan? I am warning you. Your mouth will be washed with soap very soon. Keep it up and you will be eating the soap as well.

Mace: Uh guys? Can you shut up for a few minutes?

Obi: At least I won't be hungry anymore. Soap is better than what you have been feeding me. Soap has TASTE!!

Qui: You don't want to live to see 18 do you?

Yoda: Quiet you will be. (Pounding his walking stick on the floor.)

Obi: I'd rather eat with Bantha's than what you've been cooking.

Qui: That can be arranged.

(Mace had had enough.)

Mace: OUT! NOW!! BOTH OF YOU! SHUT UP AND GET OUT. We will seek another Jedi team to attend this next mission.

Qui: Mace, wait, we will do this. No problem here.

Mace: GET OUT!! GO AWAY!!

Qui: But...

Mace: LEAVE!

(Qui and Obi headed to the door, still carrying on.)

Obi: You are in trouble now master. Did you see the veins on Master Windu's forehead popping out? He is maaaaaaad.

Qui: Shut up Obi-Wan. Please just for a little while.

Obi: Don't worry master, I'm in trouble with you. This is kinda fun. Now I know why you enjoy fighting the Council so much. They are funny when they get angry.

Qui: So, we are in trouble together.

Obi: Yep, we are. I like that.

Qui: You know padawan, I see more of me in you everyday. Not to sure if that is a good thing, but for now? I think I'll keep you.

Obi: I'm glad. I would hate to have to break in a new master after spending so much time on you.

Qui: I wouldn't miss that smart mouth of yours though.

Obi: You would, you know you would. Keeps you on your toes.

(Qui grabs Obi's braid and shoves it into the boys mouth.)

Qui: Obi-Wan? Shut up. Let's go eat.

END