A/N: Okay... uhm... I'm extremely sorry for this sort of morbid chapter? This is written as a continuation (as character development) for my other, also very morbid, one-shot "Steal (my breath away)". (ATTENTION: Please read that to understand this much, much better. I just realised that it would be terribly confusing if you didn't because it's quite cryptic...) I'm sorry if this is not in the joyous Christmas spirit. I actually wrote a much happier Jack Frost AU, but I didn't have the inspiration to finish it. The only thing I could write was this.

Once again, I'm really sorry for leaving this collection at such a tragic ending but nonetheless, and for the last time, I wish you a very merry Christmas :) Happy holidays, everyone! (Sorry for the late update!)

06: Goodnight

Summary: AU. As the last "goodnight" echoed through the air, Natsume realises that Christmas is not all that bad because of Ruka, and Mikan, Mikan, Mikan. Sequel to "Steal (my breath away)".

Natsume has always hated Christmas.

It's the season of giving and joy, of sharing and of family. But that's just it. Christmas is like saying ha ha, too bad you don't have a family. Natsume doesn't have a family to share it with. That's why Christmas to him is like the salt rubbing into his wounds, or a Christmas tree barren of ornaments—it's there, but it isn't. He feels more so lonely.

Natsume sighs as he unwraps the red scarf around his neck, tossing it into a lone corner. He curls up on his bed, staring listlessly into the air. Making himself as small as possible, he slowly treads between reality and dreams. Then Natsume thinks back to the warmth that surged through him, that tickled his toes and filled his belly, and he has a feeling.

Perhaps she'll make it better.

Natsume shuffles his feet as he looks up at the dreary sky, but somehow it doesn't seem as sad as it was yesterday.

It's the first of December, and it's officially the month of Christmas. Natsume would have groaned at the thought usually, but he doesn't, because today isn't usual. Today, Natsume feels happy and content, even with remnants of a sickness swirling in his system. He almost smiles as he spots a girl running down the street, hair tousled messily into a small bun. Her cheeks are dusted a light pink, and her eyes light up when she finds a tall man waiting in his red scarf.

"I'm sorry! I accidentally fell asleep while working on a report at home." The girl says and she breathes out heavily, catching her breath.

Natsume only shakes his head as if to say it's fine, really and the girl beams in understanding. He offers an arm, to which she takes. They trod down the sidewalk, neither speaking. Natsume concentrates on the feeling of warmth that is spreading through his blood and he doesn't allow it to dissipate, to seep through his pores. The girl beside him hums a little Christmas tune, and it's the first time he doesn't think that a carol sounds mocking.

He hums along.

Christmas is definitely made better when Ruka comes home.

For the past two years, home wasn't really home. He'd wake up alone, at about 3AM, instead of at noontime as in the past. He'd spend his breakfast with one mug of coffee and his thoughts, instead of two and Ruka. If he went out, he'd come home to emptiness and a hollow apartment, with no company besides the four walls. The apartment was littered with signs of Ruka, with his yellow mug or his blue toothbrush, contrasting Natsume's colour scheme of everyday items which was black and white. But there was no Ruka, and Natsume thought that it was taunting. Ruka punctuated Natsume's existence. When he left, Natsume became an endless sentence that ran forever. There was no one to tell him to stop, to pause, to learn how to breathe.

So when Ruka came home with the same smile that Natsume remembered, he was more than relieved.

Christmas, for once, filled him a little.

The fever hits Natsume as soon as he reaches home. He knows this, but somehow Natsume can't find it in himself to care, because he's never been happier in his life.

He plops down on his couch, huddling tighter into his red scarf. Natsume's belly is filled with pancakes and happiness, and the warmth (it wasn't the fever) that cacooned him left him feeling giddy and satiated. Natsume crosses his arms as if to hug it safely into his embrace, before settling into the couch and closing his eyes.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face, despite the fever raging within him.

As the last "goodnight" echoes through the air, Natsume finds a small smile on his face.

He makes himself as small as possible on the pavement, listening to the silence of the night and breathing in the scent of pines and snow. The kiss leaves a warmth sailing through his insides, and despite the cold weather, he doesn't feel the numbness settling on his bare fingers. As Natsume drifts off, he thinks of Christmas, Ruka and Mikan, Mikan, Mikan.

As the last "goodnight" disappears from the air, Natsume finds a small smile on his face.

A/N: PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME. I don't have anything in my system to write except for angst these days :(

But I hope it wasn't as heavy. It's actually a little bittersweet... I think. I hope.

Do leave me a review for old time's sake, yeah? (Christmas is about giving, right?) I hope you enjoyed this and happy holidays!