Applying Goal Theory to Claim Mikan Sakura

So, my name's Natsume Hyuuga and girls flaunt over me. Not that I like or want it but it occurs naturally because of my natural good looks. No, I am not bragging. Just stating facts. I am the number one student of Alice Academy and I possess a kickass Alice. I am the top-earning student of this school and I happen to be rude to girls. Which gives me dilemma. Damn. I sound like a girl. I hate girls because they are loud, annoying, easy, and simply boring but an error to my perspective occurred to me just last year. No, I am not having a dilemma. I am way too great for this. In just a few sentences, I was able to describe how perfect I am and how I have every right to be arrogant about. Double damn. Mikan hates it when I'm being arrogant.

Unfortunately, the whole academy loves my existence except for the person whose existence is what I want the most: Mikan Sakura. No, she's not mart. No, she's not even a rich student. Her voice is annoying. I don't think she has the kindest heart. Heck, she's not even the most beautiful girl in this secluded place but I am unexplainably whipped by her. Why? Why the heck? I'm currently finding it myself, too. Maybe she controlled me with some Alice but why is she so allergic to me?

I remember visiting by her room last month to give an apology for not being able to attend a birthday part of her pink-haired friend which was not my fault because I was busy helping an elderly teacher in Central Town. Anyways, I brought her the cotton candy she likes so at least she'll have a reason to entertain my effort but no. She grabbed the howalon, lectured me about not keeping a promise, and closed the door. I felt rejected that night. She was the first person I was more than willing to apologize to and yet she blew me off.

Another incident was when the stupid finals came up last year and she asked me to tutor her. I said no at first but when she cutely begged, I agreed later on. The tutoring commence and I tried the best I can for her to understand simple Math terms and yet she started hitting the table and tearing papers because she was annoyed that she could not still get it. She even accused me of being a lousy and bad tutor. I cringed when I heard that and like an explosion I told her that she was stupid and a bird-brain for not even getting basic Math. She cursed at me, I cursed at her. It was a night to curse. The next morning, she asked for forgiveness and bribed me with a cupcake she made with the help of Anna. Well, okay, I forgave her. But she still failed Math and took the remedial exam.

Our relationship is not friendship but for it to become romantic, I don't know. I'm losing hope. Believe it or not, I am chasing her for almost two years now and we don't even call our evening hangouts a date. Patience is not in my vocabulary before I realized that Mikan Sakura imprisoned my heart by her dislocated smiles or her stupidly, wise words. Now, I cannot believe I lasted this long. Ruka said that he could not believe that I am this slow when it comes to Mikan. Who is he to talk? Well, he made Imai his girlfriend, that's why. Koko laughs at my failed antics to get Mikan's approval of our impending relationship. When I see the looks of my friends, I feel upset for being too dumb for this.

This should stop. For real.

Yesterday, we had a lesson called Goal Theory that states that whenever a person is challenged, he aims for more. Obviously, I am aiming for Mikan Sakura and apparently I am literally applying this theory to get her and make her realize that I am worth it. Scribbling in parchment, I made a list of what are the things I should do to get the goal. I listed many things, as expected of my knowledge and imagination, but crossed out everything after realizing that Mikan will not like it. It's just that Mikan is simple, too simple that I cannot understand her.

Sing for her.

Ugh, too mushy.

Compose a poem for her.

She may be too dumb to understand the message.

Cook for her.

She might compare my skill to her friend's.

Take her out every day.

I don't waste money.

Blackmail her.

Tsk. I'm not her best friend.

Confess to her in front of everyone.

Well, everybody knows I like her.

And the list goes on. Not even a single thing worth doing. This is terrible. I am out of choices. I can't believe this is happening. This is humiliating to my god-like status in this academy. Narumi is right. When it comes to matters of the dumbass heart, I am hopeless. This is beyond embarrassing. Especially when I don't have the ounce of will to stop this feeling.

"Hey, Natsume."

Oh, no. I turn my head to the side, hoping that I'm wrong. But, when was I wrong? So, I am correct. It is Mikan, clad in her casual attire. Today is Saturday and I deliberately spend my time at this playground owned by academy during my free time. Seems like Mikan knows my whereabouts.

"Polka?"

"What are you writing?" she asks with a teasing smile.

"None of your business."

Mikan nods, her smile never fades. She takes the empty space beside me like personal space is not an issue for her. With her eyebrows raise, she says, "Oh, so you're writing about me."

"No," I say grumpily.

"Okay, okay. Stop being defensive. I just came from the library to borrow some history books when I saw you here. You looked so serious and alone that's why I came and since it's been days since we last talked. I didn't know you're writing so I'm sorry to invade your privacy like that. Maybe I should leave now so you can finish your masterpiece."

Stare. Smirk. Talk. That's what I did. "In short, you wanted to see me because you missed me."

"Yeah, do that, jerk. Interpret my words into its complete meaning again."

Do I always do that? Of course, not. Impossible.

Mikan stands up, gathering the number of books she borrowed. The gesture alarms me and right off the bat I grab her arm and pull her, making her sit again.

"What the hell! What is your problem, Natsume?" she yells at my ear and I swear it will give me some hearing impairment in later life.

"I just want to take a look of your face today."

"Geez, you're acting strange."

I am. That's why I have taken a precaution by standing up and going first. I hear Mikan's horrifying nag behind me but I ignore. I need to take this seriously. If I cannot stop myself from thinking of her, then I should do something about it. Even though my brain seems to be dysfunctional when it comes to making her like me, I can still use it to discover the things that can make her like me. Two years of wasted time and here I am only commencing this option. It came out late but the results are still unknown by this time. And that silly paper? I tear it into pieces and throw it to the farthest bin.

This Monday, I will follow her quietly. I am trained to spy on people anyways. So, she comes out of her dorm room by seven in the morning when the morning classes start at the same time. No wonder she is never on time. For the first thirty minutes of the class, she listens diligently and afterwards her eyes droop then she sleeps. That's why she fails. She does not listen then she crams when exams come. But, whenever someone asks her a favor like borrowing a pen, she always let them and she gives it to them with a smile. Her classmates like her and I envy them for having the chance to always interact with her.

Lunch time comes. Mikan makes her way to the cafeteria with a growling stomach based on how she rubs it. She is eating alone because her other friends have different schedules also. Feeling hungry also by following her all day, I have the urge to sit with her and tease her a little. But, if I if I will do that, the purpose of this surveillance will be defied. I need to confirm if I really like her or if I am just challenged by her. So far, I really like her that is why the goal theory is still on. For an hour, she eats and then she writes on her small notebook. I watch her doing nothing but I am never bored.

A few minutes before her next class, she stands up and exits at the back of the cafeteria. She's ditching classes, I can tell. Good. I don't want to be with a pure good girl. Mikan runs in her usual speed and I wonder where she will go. I climb trees, hide in bushes, and walk like I'm on water for her not to notice me. When she stops at the middle of her escape, I go to the nearest shade. She turns around as if she is looking for something and then her hands surround her mouth then she begins to yell.

"I know you're hiding, Natsume Hyuuga! Why don't you come out and tell me what you need?"

Shit. She knows I'm here. No way. I'm gonna prove her wrong. I don't want her to know. My ego will burst. Think. Yes, I'm not gonna show myself. For five minutes, Mikan waits for me to come out and prove her right. I refuse to reveal myself. Mikan sighs and resumes her walking with, I think, no destination in mind. Mikan bumps into several people whom she greets enthusiastically. She grabs a small paper and places it in the trash bin. She buys water and drinks half of it with the other half given to a small, green plant that she randomly saw.

I like her. I am attracted to her. I'm in love with her. Chasing her is worth having her. I am challenged by her. For her, I am not Natsume Hyuuga, the greatest thing that happened on Alice Academy but the Natsume Hyuuga that needs to learn to forgive and share things. Maybe Mikan knows my feelings but I want her to hear it.

Disregarding my decision not to show myself, I slowly walk on the road before her. Mikan halts, nodding like she knew this will happen. She crosses her arms and gradually walks toward me. I assess her and she assesses me. Girls beg for me but here I am begging for a girl.

"I need to follow you," I explain.

Mikan smiles. "Why?"

"I need to know if I really want you."

"What's the conclusion?" she dares to ask.

"I'm whipped."

"You're challenged by me, I see."

"Yes, I am. But that's not the reason why I'm whipped. I'm done for. I like you so much."

Mikan laughs as she pinches my cheek. "I wrote this while eating earlier. Oh, wait, you know that. Just take time to read it, okay? It won't hurt, promise."

Her small notebook is now on my hands and I watch frozen as she leaves. I decide to take my reading opportunity in the grass. Surprisingly, I am trembling. She said that I won't be hurt but why does her actions say otherwise? This is the rejection. No wonder why it never worked for the past two years and why she refuses to call our moments a date is because she really never considers it. I thought I am better than this but a certain Mikan Sakura scares the hell out of me.

Slowly, I open the notebook and immediately notice her neat handwriting.

Sing for her.

Ugh, too mushy.

No, do it! It's sweet. : )

Compose a poem for her.

She may be too dumb to understand the message.

I happen to love reading poems, jackass.

Cook for her.

She might compare my skill to her friend's.

Boys who cook are sexy.

Take out every day.

I don't waste money.

Great. You care about money. That's a start, dear.

Blackmail her.

Tsk. I'm not her best friend.

Yeah, let Hotaru do that.

Confess to her in front of everyone.

Well, everybody knows I like her.

You're so whipped.

I am and I am not ashamed of it. Kind of. Whatever. Screw it. I love her. The end. Goal met.

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A little something for Christmas. Last time I posted on FFN was on June. This story is a product of spontaneous handwriting with no editing. If you found errors or confusion, tell me and I'll gladly edit it. I miss you readers. I miss FFN. One of my wishes for this Christmas is for my fave stories to be updated. Hehehehe.