Magician's Note and Disclaimer: Here we are, ladies and gents—the end of the line! I've had a lot of fun writing this, and I'd like to give a big thanks to everybody who read and reviewed for me during the process. Special thanks to Akal-Saris and AJ Talon, who I've gotten to be buddies with, and who also write really nice stories of their own. As soon as you finish reading this, go read everything they've written too, okay? Peace!
Two Down and Three to the Left: Epilogue
A Love Hina Conclusion by MagicianXV
It was really a remarkable thing, Keitaro reflected, that bad experiences could seem like merely bad dreams only a few days after they had passed.
Life, he thought, smiling contentedly, had a way of taking a deep breath and saying, "All right, people, let's give this another shot, and let's try to get it right this time." More often than not, the next try was better, and he certainly felt that way now. Sitting beside the hot spring and eating ice cream was as good a way as any to recover from trauma—he was seriously considering trying to get it patented as a form of legitimate therapy. He grinned at this prospect until a rubber ducky hit him in the side of the head.
"I don't like that smile," said Naru scowling. "I know you're thinking something perverted, so just clean your head out right now, okay?"
"I was not thinking anything perverted," Keitaro retorted indignantly, tossing the rubber ducky into the bushes. He stuck his tongue out at her and ate a smug spoonful of ice cream. Naru frowned for a moment longer, then relented and turned back to her own dish of double fudge-ripple.
"There's still some stuff I don't understand," she admitted, twirling her spoon between her thumb and forefinger. "Why was it only Shinobu and Kitsune that Geppeddo transformed? What was special about them?"
"Like I said, you know as much as I do," Keitaro answered. He set his bowl down and rolled onto his back. "If anything, you're probably less confused. That whole day was one big mind job, and you weren't even conscious for it."
"I might have been," Naru pointed out. "But I still don't have any memories of the time you claim this stuff happened in, and neither do Su, or Sara, or even Mutsumi. Although she could have just forgotten about it..."
"She'd have remembered something," Keitaro insisted. "It was a memorable day, believe me."
"It's just hard to believe. None of us were there to see it for ourselves," Naru sighed. "I mean, I know you and Shinobu and Kitsune were there, and the two of them are definite proof that something extremely weird did happen, but you have to admit that it's a wild story."
"You're forgetting about him," Keitaro added. He gestured over his shoulder, not bothering to look back himself; he knew what was there quite well already.
About twenty feet away, on the other side of the hot spring, Garou-sama lay sprawled out in the sun, snoring gently. If either of the college students had approached him they would have noticed a distinct smell of ozone, as if a storm was brewing, but experience had taught them that interrupting a sleeping hurricane's nap was a foolhardy action.
"You do have a point," Naru murmured. They fell silent and watched the wolf's gigantic flanks rise and fall as he breathed, his black fur rippling gently. A faint rustle came from the house, and they both turned to see Haruka approaching. She bore a small brown book, bound in worn leather, cracked along the spine.
"I think this may be what we're looking for," she said, sitting down beside Keitaro. She opened the book and Naru scooted closer, leaning over to get a better view. "It fits into the right timeframe for Keisuke to have been living here, and there are some pictures that raised a few...well...see for yourselves." She handed the book to Keitaro, and he flipped slowly through the yellowed pages.
The pictures were terribly faded, but even so, he could make out the images well enough. They were nothing remarkable—people, probably old and gray by now (if they were still alive), smiling and waving at the camera. There were shots of Hinata House, clearly before Grandma Hina had renovated it, and one of the dilapidated annex behind the main building. It looked new here though, and Keitaro thought it must have been a photograph of when the annex had first been built.
"This is neat stuff, Aunt Haruka," Keitaro said, looking up, "but what does it have to do with Geppeddo and Moe-chan?" Haruka lit a cigarette and puffed complacently on it.
"Turn the page again." Keitaro obediently flipped to the next picture, but he went no further. Naru leaned closer, her eyes widening.
"Okay..." she said slowly, running a hand through her long hair. "Please tell me that isn't what I think it is." Keitaro shook his head, staring at the picture in shock.
"I wish I could, but...that's definitely him. The question is, what is he doing at Hinata house...a hundred years ago?" The picture was worth easily more than a thousand words. It featured three people, seated under a tree and locked in frozen smiles. Two of the people Keitaro had seen before—they were his great-grandfather, Keisuke Urashima, and Moe-chan, the strange automaton that had been tucked away in the lower levels of Hinata House. The third person, however, was someone he hadn't expected to see ever again, let alone in a photograph.
It was Geppeddo.
"I don't understand," Naru was protesting. Keitaro barely registered her voice; his head was spinning faster than it ever had in the basement of the police station. "You said he was an old man when you met him, right Keitaro? He looks pretty damn old in this picture already, don't you think?"
"Yeah," Keitaro muttered, reeling. "I don't understand either. Unless..." He looked up from the book and started to set it in his lap, then reconsidered and shoved it aside. "Tell me if this sounds too crazy: for whatever reason, Geppeddo came to Hinata almost a century ago, and he brought Moe-chan with him. He met my great-grandfather and, since Hinata House would have been a hotel at the time, he stayed here for a while. When it was time to leave, Keisuke didn't want Geppeddo to take Moe-chan away, so he...well, stole her, I guess." He looked back and forth between the two women. Haruka blew a pensive smoke ring.
"That does sound pretty crazy," Naru confirmed. "But not any crazier than having a hurricane sleeping by your hot spring."
"I don't think we'll ever know what that old man wanted," Haruka said coolly, smushing her cigarette out in an ashtray. "Not when he was here the first time around."
"He just came back for Moe-chan this time," Keitaro said. "He did say that things were back the way they should be. I guess Moe-chan was all he really cared about."
The three of them fell into reflective silence. Keitaro scraped up the last of his ice cream and savored the rich flavor, then set the bowl down and lay back again. There were clouds drifting by overhead; no longer heavy, gray storm clouds, but the sort that looked like they could be caught and tucked into a drawer for later. He sighed deeply, and wondered if, wherever they were, Geppeddo and Moe-chan were happy.
It wasn't until the sound of a car door being closed awoke him that Keitaro realized he had dozed off. A quick look around revealed that Haruka and Naru had done the same, and they all sat up in unison. A few moments later, Shinobu and Motoko entered, followed by Kitsune and Seta. They all looked relatively cheerful, but for some odd reason, but Kitsune and Shinobu were wearing large hats.
"Hey, you guys," Naru called, getting to her feet. "How'd it go?"
"Eh...I'm not really sure," Kitsune admitted, grinning sheepishly. "Your doctor was a little out of it, Naru. Somebody knocked his house down during the storm last week, and he's still sorta loopy from the shock."
"Somebody—what? They knocked his house down?" Kitsune nodded easily and plopped down beside Haruka.
"That's what he said. He got pissed off because someone was having a party or something, and when he called to complain, they sent some freak to knock his house down. He's staying in a hotel until he finds a new one."
"Oh," Naru said, exchanging glances with Keitaro. He frowned, then looked at the clouds again and shrugged.
"At least he's all right," he said. "That's what really matters, isn't it? That he's safe?" Kitsune looked curiously at him, then smiled.
"Yeah, I suppose so. Do you guys mind if I take this hat off? It's killing me."
"I've gotten used to it," Naru laughed. Kitsune rolled her eyes. "Seriously, just go ahead." Kitsune yanked the hat off and tossed it away; poking from under her sandy hair were a pair of tall, red-furred fox's ears.
"The doctor wasn't sure what to make of it," she said, fingering them gently. "He said that since our normal ears are gone, we'd better just leave them alone. I don't know what else he expected us to do, though—cut them off? Right." Shinobu and Motoko joined the group now, and Seta followed a few seconds later. Shinobu also set her hat aside, blushing as she did so. Her dark hair contrasted mildly with the brown cat's ears she now sported.
"It's not so bad," she said softly, watching ripples spread over the surface of the hot spring. "I can hear a lot better than I could before. And the letter I got from school said that they'll arrange to have my lessons and homework mailed to me."
"I still think you should keep going," Kitsune said, elbowing her playfully. "I bet the guys would flip for your new look." Shinobu blushed even more deeply. She muttered something about having to start dinner and quickly excused herself, but neither Naru nor Keitaro could resist watching her go—in addition to the ears, Shinobu also now possessed a long, sleek, tail; it was mostly brown, but the end was tipped in white.
"It is kind of cute," Naru murmured, grinning. "It sort of fits her, you know?" Kitsune laughed loudly and leapt up.
"I've got her beat, though!" she said boldly. "My tail's way better." There was no arguing that Kitsune also had a tail—a very red, bushy fox-tail, identical to the one she had had as an actual fox, but much larger. "It's good for dusting furniture too."
"Do you ever dust furniture?" Keitaro inquired. Kitsune swished her tail and gave the side of his head a gentle clout.
"Nah. It'd be a waste of glamour. And poor Motoko...she turned into a zombie and didn't even get anything out of it, did you?" Motoko scowled and turned her katana over in her hands.
"If you are referring to ears or a tail, no, I did not. I still have trouble believing I ever became a 'zombie' at all, if you must know."
"All right, we'll call you a basket-case then," Kitsune said amiably. "But you did a great zombie impression, I'll tell you that." Motoko, apparently not in the mood to deal with her friend's teasing, got up and stalked away.
"The doctor said she was fine too, right?" Naru asked, casting a dubious glance at Motoko's retreating back. Kitsune nodded.
"Yep. Healthy as a horse, and twice as likely to kick you in the head."
"It's strange that she doesn't have any memories of that day either," Keitaro said thoughtfully. "She was right with us, but it's like she wasn't even there. Geppeddo really knew how to mess with peoples' heads."
"He was a freaky old fart," Kitsune agreed. "But in a weird way, I hope he shows up again." Keitaro, Naru, and Haruka all looked at her in surprise.
"Why in the world would you wish for a thing like that?" Keitaro demanded. "Don't you think he did enough damage the first time he was here? I mean, yeah, all the police officers he changed into dogs are back to eating doughnuts, but you and Shinobu look like a couple of cosplayers."
"Not to mention that we have a wolf-god living in our backyard," Naru added. Kitsune smirked and twitched her ears.
"I just thought if he came back, he might change the rest of you into animals for a while. I'd love to see what you'd all be."
"That's something I hadn't considered," Naru said, blinking. "What would I be?"
"Maybe a squirrel?" Keitaro offered. "Then we could call you 'Liddo-chan'."
"Ha ha. Boy, you're a riot." Keitaro grinned.
"I know I am. But hey, what about me?" He looked back and forth between the two girls. "What would I be?"
"I think you'd be a puppy," said Kitsune without hesitation. "Just this cute, totally clumsy little puppy that was always tripping over its own feet."
"So in other words," Naru said, "he wouldn't change at all."
******
The day passed as it always did, and after a while, the moon came thundering up from the East. The sun, which was hardly ready to give the moon the comfortable seat, put up a heated argument. The dispute almost came to blows, but at the last second the two agreed that they would trade off in twelve hours so the sun could have another turn. The moon clambered into the sky and settled in for a nice, relaxing nap.
And on Earth, the night came.
Magician's Ending Note: Dear, sweet mother of the monkeys.
I've actually done it.
I've finished a story.
Sonofabitch.
Heh. Thanks again to everybody who helped me get this done, and don't forget to check out Akal-Saris and AJ Talon's works. I hope you enjoyed my collection of letters, which may have resembled words. Maybe they didn't, but I take no responsibility either way. Be kind to animals, and always remember that the meaning of life is forty-two!
MagicianXV, Master of Chaos