It was just before dawn when I heard the news that they finally rescued them from the Capitol, of course I was concerned about Peeta but I'd be lying if I said she wasn't my priority.
She once said that love was a funny thing, it wasn't as if I didn't already know but when I woke on the ship after we destroyed the arena I knew the only face I wanted to see was hers, the only life I was concerned over was her own, and when they told me they had been captured, I cried for her.
District 13 was a hotter target than ever, in all matter of truth we would never be a hundred percent sure on just how much Snow knew or just what exactly he was plotting, but we could be sure that he knew we were all here, and here was the last place I wanted her to be.
It took two days for Coin to come round to my way of thinking and agree that we should go into hiding, I'd came to accept that they would never risk 'the Mockingjay' in the firing line, not until they had the Capitol at least, but I wasn't prepared to risk her safety either.
There was a log cabin far out under the dense shield of the forest which we would be leaving for come sunset, hidden in the deep foliage where god himself would struggle to find us. It was the closest to District 7 I could manage for her but it sure beat the white wash walls and war preparations of District 13, Coin quickly agreed that our efforts for the time being were best served as faces of the revolution and if Johanna had any chance of coming back from this, her best shot was with me.
I paced around outside the hallway which only served to increase the dull ache in my ribs before I finally entered the room to see her, it was the first time I'd laid eyes on her since we were in the arena and I wanted to be able to give her some good news after everything she had done to save my life. Part of me expected her to be fragile and soft after Haymitch told me about the condition she'd arrived in, I stopped listening to him when he got to the part where they had to sedate her because she wouldn't stop screaming.
Her eyes flickered open and she focused on me as I sat at her bed side. "We're going somewhere safe Johanna." I whispered. I took in the bruises that decorated her pale skin, the burns on her body from where they shocked her, but it was her eyes that upset me the most and made the bile from my stomach rise to the tip of my throat, they were dead now.
"Wow, well aren't you just my fucking saviour Katniss." she spat as her eyes glared at me.
I lowered my own stare as my lips curled into a frown "You saved my life Johanna and I don't know how I'm supposed to repay that debt, just tell me what you need." I implored.
"I need for you too get me some morphling, the doctors think I'm going to end up like those freaks from 6, do you think you can handle it or do you need a babysitter for that as well?" she sneered.
I stood up and grabbed a bag from the store, gathering my thoughts whilst my back was turned to her before hooking it up to her IV and sitting back down in silence until she wanted to speak.
We sat in the quietness for half an hour before she turned to face me again.
"Why are you doing this Katniss? Why do you care?" she whispered and momentarily dropped her facade as the sincerity hit me like a freight.
I had more respect for Johanna that to indulge in this moment of weakness and tell her how I feel, right now my priority was getting her back from the wherever it was she was lost.
"I already told you, you saved my life. Would you like me to put that in writing in case you need to refer back to it again?" I kept my stare and crossed my arms as she began to cackle.
She looked me in the eyes and held her gaze, the unspoken understanding of what was happening passed between us. Johanna was a lion, a warrior, a predator, she was the epitome of what a victor should be, to pity her would be an insult.
I handed her a small bag, placing it in her palm and closing her fingers around it.
"What is this?" she asked curiously.
"I made it for you, I thought it would remind you of home." I said coyly, my skin was as thick as rhino hide when it came to her sarcasm and insults, but something about the idea of her insulting this gesture frightened me.
She lifted it too her nose and breathed in before her lips began to turn into a half smile "Pine.' she whispered.
"They're coming for us at sunset, this isn't where you need to be right now so I've made some arrangements." I stated underneath a 'matter of fact' facade.
Her eyes glanced up to me inquisitively "Arrangements?"
I nodded, "It's nothing too big, just a cabin out in the forest about twenty miles south of here. I know it's not home but I thought you'd prefer it to being strapped to a bed, how is that going for you by the way?" I said dryly as I motioned to her wrists which were handcuffed to the frame.
She moved her hands against the restraints to demonstrate "It's going fantastic, see where choking a nurse gets you?"
"Nice, what did she do?" I tried to stifle a laugh but the look of contempt on Johanna's face tipped me over the edge.
"I had a nightmare, I'd rather not talk about it." She said with an air of finality.
I took the hint that this wasn't a subject for discussion and regained my previous composure.
We both turned as the door opened, Johanna looked at the clock and closed her eyes as her breathing grew increasingly fast before the nurse approached us with a determined stride.
"I'm sure Miss Everdeen has already told you about your new arrangements Johanna?" she asked cheerily as she checked a chart and scribbled something incessantly on the clipboard.
"Let's not beat around the bush, I know why you're here." she grimaced.
"Johanna, you have wounds all over your body that need to be cleaned, you haven't even tried the water." the nurse sighed as she wrote down a few more scribbles on the clipboard.
"try? I haven't tried?! I spent two months strapped to a fucking chair, tortured until I begged for death and you dare to tell me I'm not trying?" she roared with rage, even I was taken aback by her anger.
The nurse frowned as she pressed the button on the wall at the side of her "you have to keep the wounds clean Johanna, the water cleans out the wounds and will help with the burns."
Before she finished her sentence three more male medic staff entered the room, it didn't take long for me to realise they were here too restrain her, or rather force her into the water.
Johanna's eyes turned from defiance to fear as she began to stutter, "No, no, please don't do this." she tried to claw back her cold composure but a few stray tears falling from her cheeks betrayed her as she strained her body against the straps holding her wrists to the bed frame.
I sat almost in shock at the scene unfolding in front of me as my 'excuse me's' went unheard.
The nurse began to fill a syringe with a sedative as Johanna's eyes turned wild and her legs and body thrashed against the restraints. "Johanna you need to calm down before you tear your stitches." she said with a sympathetic inclination.
Johanna continued to scream and fight before the nurse motioned to the men to hold her down for the sedative.
"Katniss." she turned to me as the tiniest of whimpers left her lungs and finally jolted me back to reality.
"Stop!" I bellowed as the scene finally grew silent and the nurse turned to my attention. "That woman right there could have gave up secrets that would have left every person in this room dead at the hands of Snow! Show her some respect!"
I moved my gaze directly into the nurse's own, "If you take another step closer to her I will physically stop you."
The nurse took a step back and placed the syringe on the side, "If those wounds on her leg get infected and she loses the leg, on your head be it."
I unfastened the restraints on her wrists as she fell into my embrace, a sob choking out of her throat as she pressed her face into the crook of my neck.
I put a reassuring hand on her back before I realised just how small and fragile she felt in my arms, "I promise you, things are going to get better, come on, let's get you cleaned up"
The next few hours were a blur of packing our few remaining things and arranging the escort to the cabin, by the time we got there it was too dark to take in any of the scenery of the forest, she'd kept a dignified silence since the incident with the nurse until we finally got into the living room and turned on the T.V to see Snow's face addressing the Capitol.
"Thank you for earlier." she said without making eye contact.
"It's nothing." I replied, "Do you want something to drink? The way the nurse spoke I'm convinced you're going to drop dead any second if you don't take these pills." I said as I offered her one out of the prescription bottle.
"I'm not taking the pills." she stated defiantly as she pushed my hand away.
"If I argue you with you, will you try and put an axe through my chest?" I tried to jest.
She cracked a cackle again as she glanced me over with her mouth open "Darling I won't try, I will."
"Well I may just have to run that risk if you don't wash soon, you stink." I teased as I put the bottle down on the coffee table.
She looked at me with cautious eyes "Will you help me?"
I blinked a few times as I realised what she was asking me to do, before nodding slowly "Do you want to try? If it's too much then we can try again when you feel like it."
The solemn look of fear and perseverance returned to her face as she rose from the sofa and climbed the wooden stairs, the familiar pine smell of the spacious wooden cabin reminded her of the safety of home.
I ran the bath as she peaked her head around the corner of the door frame to observe what was happening. I caught her worried glance as I gestured for her to come into the bathroom.
She paused for a moment, the sound of the running water rushing through her ears like a siren. I offered her my hand and she grabbed it for support as she stepped over the threshold of the door, keeping a safe distance away from the liquid as her back pressed against the wall.
"Do you want me to leave the room?" I asked quietly as I turned off the faucet, before I could finish my sentence she interrupted me with a firm "No."
"Stay." She said firmly, her body beginning to tremble as she gripped the towel in her hand.
She removed the clothes that hung off her tiny frame, the low light highlighted the dark bruises decorating her skin and it made my heart break a little.
She edged a little closer to the tub before the tremble turned into a shake and she turned to run out of the door.
I held my arms opened wide to stop her from running, "You can do this Jo, I won't let anything happen to you." I reassured her as her spindly arms suddenly clung to my frame.
"If I told you that I'm scared will you promise not to tell anyone?" She whispered.
"I promise."
"...I'm really scared." She stuttered through a choked sob.
I squeezed her hand and kept a dignified silence, not wanting to stifle her with pity.
She stepped into the shallow bath and held back tears as the water lapped at her ankles. I think she was trying to prove a point to me that she wasn't damaged.
She lowered herself into the bath, holding my hand tightly as I cupped water in my other hand and trickled it over her wounds, I flinched every time she jolted from the contact of the liquid on her skin.
She began to talk incessantly, about which victors were the greatest of all time, which outfits she remembered tributes wearing from when she was a little girl, distracting herself from the water lapping at her body, never letting go of my hand.
I washed her hair with the suds from the shampoo, as her talking became faster and more nervous as I nudged for her to lean her head back to wash away the soap.
I was careful to not let the pool of water directly touch her head, cupping the water in my hand and working the suds out as she trembled and squeezed my hand tighter. "I'd be a laughing stock if they could see me now." she whispered.
"No, no you wouldn't." I added, "You're Johanna Mason, the Johanna Mason. They tried to break you and here you are, you could of sold us all out to save yourself and you didn't. They would be honoured to be in your presence if they could see you now." I comforted her.
She threw me a half smile and I felt her relax ever so slightly.
I took a palm full of water and began to trickle the liquid over the burn mark on her temple, that's when she started screaming.
She thrashed in the bath panicking herself even more as the water splashed over her body, her hands gripping the side of her head as her body contorted into painfully unnatural positions "I don't know anything, I don't know anything!" she chanted.
I forced my arms underneath her own and pulled her out of the bath, falling backwards from the momentum as she landed on top of me in a sobbing pile.
I soothed her cries as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pressed her face into my neck, I gently patted all of the water away from her bruised skin with the towel and hummed the same tune I hummed to Prim whenever she was scared.
Johanna curled into me and squeezed her arms around my neck a little tighter, "Katniss please get me out of here." she choked.
Without hesitation I carried her to the bedroom and helped her change into a shirt for bed as she trembled from shock, I grabbed the ointment from the dresser and pointed to the wound on her leg "Do you want me to do it?"
She nodded her head coyly "Please."
I cleaned her leg and dabbed the ointment onto the wound as she hissed from the sting.
"How did you get it?" I asked gently.
She scratched her head before nervously looking into my eyes "When you shock the body with high voltages of electricity there tends to be an exit wound." she said dryly.
I nodded my head slightly as we sat in silence for a few minutes.
"There's only one bedroom in the cabin, I can sleep on the sofa bed if you want some space." I sighed as I changed into my pyjamas.
"Please don't leave." she almost whimpered.
I shook my head and crawled into bed as I gestured for her to lie next to me "I'm not going to leave you, I promise you."
She turned off the light before crawling into bed, at first she lied facing away from me before I felt her nudge me to roll over and her arm drape over my waist and her body press against my back. "Just because I'm unstable doesn't mean you get to be big spoon." she muttered.