The Face of Betrayal

Chapter 7: Forgiveness

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Harry and Remus decided on the way back to the manor to wait to tell Peter that his presence was requested the next day. They figured that he would just be nervous about what was coming and it would be better not to let him dwell on it. They arrived to find Peter in front of the fire buried in a book that was about the size of some of Hermione's light reading. "Whatcha doing Wormy?" Remus asked. Peter never read books that big even when they were in school.

"I'm doing some research on dementors and mind healing to see if I can find anything to better help Sirius. Remus saw Harry about to speak and shook his head at him. Of course the healers at St. Mungo's would know everything that he could find but it was important to Peter to feel that he was helping in order to resolve some of his guilt. After explaining that to Harry later on he felt like he was understanding more about the errant maruader. He could, after all, relate very well to guilt and it must be much worse when it is earned, however well meaning.

The next morning Remus who it seemed had learned his lesson, woke Harry up in a much nicer fashion before going to wake up Peter and inform him that his presence was requested at St. Mungo's. Peter sputtered for a moment and started to protest. He didn't want to risk pushing things too much and make matters worse. When Remus told hìm that Sirius asked for him unsolicited he finally agreed to go.

When they arrived, Peter was understandably hesitant about going inside. Harry put a hand on his shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile. They had spent much of the last few days bonding and Harry was beginning to feel like he was family, but was unable to fully accept him until his Godfather did. He owed Sirius that much.

At the reassurance from Harry, Peter took a deep breath and entered the hospital room but was unable to look at Sirius and kept his gaze riveted to the floor. Remus and Harry went to embrace Sirius who was all smiles for them and then looked at Peter and frowned. "I asked you to come because I have had a memory floating around in my head since yesterday morning but I can't bring it into focus. My healers have been working with me about forgiveness and I think this memory is important for that. It is just you and I discussing the animagus transformation. Do you know the one I'm talking about?"

Peter nodded. "I know the one you are talking about. Do you want to see it or do you want me to tell you about it?"

"Put it in the pensieve." Sirius was not warm with the rat animagus but was no longer hosile. It seemed that all of the happy memories they had explored and more that were unlocked as a result were making it easier for him to deal with things.

They landed in the boy's dorm to see a 15 year old Sirius as Peter came into the room looking upset. "What's wrong Petey?" he asked squinting as if he could decipher the problem simply from the rounder boys appearance.

"I can't do it Siri. I'm not powerful enough to become an animagus." Peter said trying his best not to cry.

"That's ok. We don't care how powerful you are. Just the fact that you were willing to try so hard means alot to us as I'm sure it will to Remus when he finds out what we have been doing."

"That's not it though. I mean sure it's not very good for my ego, but did you realize that by completing the animagus transformation it gives you unbreakable occlumency shields the same way werewolves do. I think it has something to do with the animal mind combining with ours which is too unlike human minds for legilimency to work. I can't learn occlumency either and I know so much about all of you." He lost hold on a few tears at that.

Sirius sighed and sat beside Peter putting an arm around him in a half hug. "Don't worry Petey. We will find another way to protect both you and us. You're our brother and nothing is going to change that. Ever.."

"Well that's the thing. I- well- I kind of found another way but I need your help."

"Anything. You know you can always come to me."

Well I found out about a spell that can force the animagus transformation the first time and leave you with the ability..."

Sirius cut in at that, "No. No way. Absolutely not."

"It's the only way Sirius."

"Do you know what that spell can do to you? There is a reason that it isn't used anymore. More than half of the people that spell was used on either died or went insane. No way am I using that spell on you!" Sirius half yelled at his friend.

"Better that than having something happen to one of you because I couldn't protect my mind. You guys are my only family. I came to you because I knew out of everyone you would understand. You know how my mother is and she is the only relation I have. You and James and Remus; I would do anything to protect you and better that I die than fail. Please Sirius." After beginning with his voice raised by the end it was soft and pleading.

Sirius got up and began to pace agitatedly. "I do understand Pete. Believe me I do but damnit!" He slamed his fist on his desk. "Damn Voldemort and those asshole death eaters. We can't even feel safe in our own minds. I hate this." Peter sat there calmly through Sirius' tanrum knowing that when he was done he would help. Finally Sirius sat on his bed with a long suffering sigh and put his head in his hands. When he spoke again his voice sounded tortured. "I hate this Petey. It's not fair."

"I know Siri, but it's necessary."

"I know" Sirius practically whispered letting a single tear fall.

"Just do me a favor please. If the worst happens don't blame yourself. It is my idea, my choice, and my weakness that makes it necessary. You are doing me a service. Nothing that comes of it is your fault. And if I'm not me anymore don't ever put yourselves at risk to protect what's left."

Sirius sighed once more. "Alright Pete. We will do it Friday night in the room of requirement. That gives us the whole weekend to get you recovered from it."

"Thank you Sirius. You can't know how much this means to me. We can't tell the others though. They will never understand.

At that they were ejected from the pensieve and Remus exploded. "Damn right we wouldn't understand! What were you thinking Peter? That was the stupidest idea you've ever had! Do you have any idea what we would have done if you had been lost! Merlin Pete!" Remus was pacing much like Sirius had in the memory. In fact, in that moment they could have been twins. He rounded on Sirius then, "and you! How could you go along with something so insane!"

Sirius looked Peter in the eye and they shared a knowing smile. "I did it because I understood his fear and because if the situation were reversed I would have done the same as him and hoped that someone would help me. You don't understand how things were for Pete and I. You and James both had loving families and while you would have mourned us you would have had your families to help you through and they were adults and could protect themselves if you let something slip, but for Pete and I the marauders were all we had. The only family we had and we would have done anything to protect you." Sirius reached out and grabbed Peter's shoulder and pulled him into a hug. "And you never stopped making sacrifices to protect us. 12 years of my life is a small price to pay for the life of my godson and you knew that. I'm sorry it took so long to realize that."

Peter was all smiles at the forgiveness offered by his friend. "We have the rest of our lives to make up for it now though Paddy."

"Yes we do Wormy. Yes we do. Just one thing first." Sirius pulled back his hand and punched Peter as hard as he could in the jaw. Peter, unprepared for the blow, fell to the ground. Remus held Harry back, knowing that things would be ok now and that they shouldn't interfere. Sure enough, Sirius reached out his hand to help Peter up. "Now we are good." He grinned at his friend who grinned back, knowing that it was truly over. He had his family back now finally. All of them. He could even live without the missing tooth.