"Cas, you're human now so we really gotta buckle down on the concept of personal space."

"My apologies, Dean I shall refrain from entering your 'personal space' if it makes you uncomfortable."

Dean patted Castiel's shoulder and laughed, "Those air quotes have got to go too." Dean left Castiel to go give Sam the sandwich he had made. Dean had been kind enough to make one for him as well. It had been rough at first, but they were all slowly getting back on good terms with each other. Human emotions were so…confusing. Anger, Sadness, pain, betrayal, envy, lust; all the emotions ranged from a weary consuming feeling to a burning fueling passion. Needless to say there was not only those emotions, but he found intriguing ones as well amounst his, now fellow, man; humility, kindness, patience, diligence, hope courage, and love.

He was a creature of love, originally, and he knew without a doubt he loved Dean Winchester above all others. The problem was that since he was no longer an angel his control over all the emotions he experienced was limited. He would cry when he was a little sad over a simple thing, and lash out when he was even slightly annoyed. Not to mention all the other everyday things human had to do daily that he found tedious after a while. Having to plan everything around eating and sleeping was becoming almost too irritating to bear. Did all humans urinate so frequently or was there something wrong with his vessel? He may be without his powers, wings, and now just a human, but there was something good that came from his fall: he could now be with his friends again. He could now be Dean.

The oppressive feelings he had enduring when Dean had told him he could not stay were some of the worst Castiel had ever felt. He thought to himself 'I do not need you! I shall be fine facing humanity on my own!' Castiel had almost allowed himself to think that he did not love Dean anymore. He realized later it was just irrational thinking caused by his fury. He doubted that Dean would ever love him as he once had. Castiel tried to convince himself that the righteous man wasn't everything to him. Everything they had been through even after hell it all seemed to mean nothing to Dean, so why should it mean anything to him.

No matter how hard he tried no amount of thinking could induce the idea within him that he did not love Dean. Dean may not have remembered their time when Castiel raised him, the pure love they shared, but after everything Castiel allowed himself to hope. It had been shattered when Dean had asked him to leave.

He was no longer an angel so in what way could I assist the brothers? Was I merely a tool that would be thrown away after I lost my usefulness? Why would Dean kick me out? Had I done something wrong? All these questions had crossed Castiel's mind, and then he received solace from none other than the man he loved. An angel, Gadreel, had possessed Sam in order to heal him. Gadreel had an ulterior motive, and so he requested Castiel leave. Castiel could understand Dean's need to always look out for Sam first and foremost; it was one of the many things he loved about him.

Dean had asked him to come back, and although Castiel was angry at first he couldn't stay angry with Dean. No matter what he did he couldn't help but forgive him; Dean had done the same for him. Moody, usually angry, uses alcohol as a coping method; Dean was a character to put it in kind words. Green eyes and a heart of gold Castiel could not un-see his beauty. Castiel could only silently wish he could show his adulation for Dean Winchester.

The sound of loud voices echoing throughout the bunker shook him from his thoughts. Castiel figured he could eat his sandwich after he went to see what the brothers were bickering about. Castiel expected a few fist to fly as the brothers worked out whatever trivial matter they were arguing about. He hadn't expected to be pulled into the fray. Sam said, "Good you're here Cas, tell Dean that you and I are totally ready for a hunt, and that he's overreacting as always."

Dean scoffed, "I am not overreacting! You just got off the trials sickness roller-coaster and Cas still isn't used to being human yet. Neither of you are ready for any type of combat. You'll just have to sit back and relax while you're out of commission."

"You expect me to just sit back with my thumbs up my ass! I'm ready and Cas can make his own choices. Cas, what do you think."

Castiel tried to face the situation calmly, "Now Dean, I believe that although you are concerned for Sam's health he is a grown man. He should know its limits, and what he is able to do and not able to do. As for me, I am, I mean I was a warrior of god. I was grown to be a soldier; to fight, to kill, to destroy. I can assist you in some way with hunting monsters and the like even though I am human."

Dean ran his hand through his hair, "Sam, you are not ready. Just a few weeks ago you were hacking up blood; just give it a week or two okay. Cas, you used to be the big feathered badass on campus okay, but you're human now. You can kick the bucket just as easily as Sam or me."

Castiel interrupted, "Yes of course because you and Sam 'kick the bucket' the same as every other normal human being; multiple times. You have been human you're whole life, and yet you can still fight."

"Oh great, so he learns sarcasm that's just frickin awesome; Look Cas, You've only been human a little while so it could be different fighting as an angel and as a human. I just want you and Sammy to stay safe here in the bunker."

"Dean, I do not need to be coddled. I am not a 'baby in a trench coat' as you have stated. I am not useless!"

"I never said you were useless! You've also got to quit those air quotes, man"

"I shall do whatever I please. You cannot control me. Now if you would please put aside your pious superiority complex perhaps we can have a discussion. I've grown tired of this quarrel due to being near constantly moody every day. Is it so hard to not be cantankerous? Why is it so hard to treat me and Sam as we are; adults rather than children?"

Sam whistled in the background, "Oh snap."

"Pious superiority complex oh Mr. Self-Righteous Dick Who HAD Wings?" Dean chuckled dryly, "I am not being moody okay I'm trying to do what's best! Did I piss you off? Can't exactly throw me back in hell now? You pissed you're now stuck down here with us mud monkeys? Bet you really miss being part of the heavenly holy rollers club huh, Castiel?"

The wing comment flared Castiel's temper; every comment was like a stab wound. Human acrimony was such a difficult thing. A burning emotion that seemed such a driven objective until it burned you out. Dean was so infuriating. Castiel's voice turned to ice as he turned away from Dean, "You do not always know what is for the best, Dean. I may have difficulty adjusting to humanity, but I do not possess any enmity to the fact I am now human."

Dean pulled Castiel's shoulder so he would face him again, "What the hell crawled up your ass? Who's the cantankerous one now?"

Castiel pushed Dean's hand away, "I am not cantankerous, merely weary, and it's very tiring having to listen to you partake in matters that are far too commonplace for you. You're doing it again. You try to invoke resentment out of others in an effort to push them away in fits of rage. I grow weary of your self-loathing."

Sam fidgeted where he stood. At first he had been interested to see the Cas-Dean showdown, but now he felt a bit uncomfortable. Luckily Dean and Castiel were too busy glaring daggers at one another to notice him sneaking out of the library. He'd just eat his sandwich in the den.

Dean was the first to drop his gaze. He mumbled, "You don't even know the half of it…"

Castiel lifted Dean's chin so he their eyes would meet again, "When I raised you out of hell you fought me…You told me you belonged there, you told me you deserved to rot there. You were so resistant in my attempts to raise you from perdition…"

Dean asked, "So why didn't you just leave me there? Because God commanded it and all, well he's not doing much of anything these days now is he? Why Cas, answer me that."

Castiel mumbled under his breath, "Why don't you remember, answer me that."

Dean crossed his arms, "What the hell are you muttering about?"

He was slightly stunned when he was greeted by Castiel's raised voice, "When I was healing you…when I was healing your soul I begun to experience odd feelings. At the time I did not understand what they meant. Open wounds turned to scars and yet you did not let go once I grasped you in hell. I promised. I promised, Dean. I fucking promised and I tried my damn well hardest to keep my promise! I tried so hard, and I know that cannot simply suffice, but I cannot stand for it anymore!"

Dean was confused so naturally he yelled back, "I don't know what you're talking about! What promise! What are you trying to say?"

Castiel had all the languages known at his disposal, even those not known by man, yet he could not find the most appropriate words for voicing his pathos, adoration, and furor. He realized his proximity to Dean was close, perhaps he had forgotten the discussion about personal space, whatever the matter Castiel decided to take a chance. Dean's jaw was clenched tight anticipating Castiel's response. He surely hadn't expected the response he got. Castiel's lips were hard and unyielding against his own. Dean couldn't help the goose bumps that rose on his arms. He could smell Castiel's body soap; it was his. Usually Cas preferred the soap for more sensitive skin, but he had used Dean's. Dean's eyes were wide open while Cas' were almost sealed shut. It probably only lasted a second, but it felt like hours before. For a second Dean felt the desire to actually participate, to pull Cas closer to him, and then Sam just had to walk in.

"Hey guys I was wondering…Holy hell you guys are kissing!"

Cas' lips released his, but his hands remained on his shoulders. Dean exhaled sharply, "Sammy, I-I-I um I was…ah…"

Sam shrugged, "Don't care, don't explain, just please talk this out okay. We still need to go over the whole hunting thing is what I wanted to say and what you guys wanted for dinner, but it seems your occupied. I'm going to lock this door until you've all talked this out so there won't be any running away. Do you understand?"

"Crystal clear."

"Sam, I would like chicken nuggets. I have developed a fondness for them, although perhaps it's my imagination that the dinosaur ones taste better than the regular ones."

Dean cracked up. He put his whole body into his laughter with a broad toothy grin on his face. All malice and poignancy seemed to evaporate with Dean's elation at Castiel's words. Castiel was a bit confused. He found his request to be perfectly reasonable. Sam also seemed to find it humorous with his gleeful snort that escaped. It eased the tension that had been building in the room with everyone's tempers flaring. Sam closed the door, and locked it, and his large feet could be heard as he padded down the halls of the bunker. Dean smile softened when he looked at Castiel. Castiel was not sure how he felt about the look in Dean's eyes. Dean asked, "Why'd you do that Cas?"

Castiel's throat clamped up. He was unsure what to do. Dean did not remember. His muscles ached to escape. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming. Why did he not remember? Dean seemed to notice Castiel's apprehension. All his anger, confusion, and everything else were put aside. Cas need him; for what he did not know. He pulled his best friend in for a hug. Cas was shorter than him so his soft untamable black hair tickled against his nose; the little shit used his shampoo too. Castiel enveloped himself in Dean's hug. He grasped the back of Dean's black t-shirt. He had been the one to embrace and comfort Dean before, and now he was the one being embraced.

He whispered, "You were supposed to remember how much I love you and how much you love me…"

Dean asked, "You…You love me?"

Castiel felt Dean shaking in his arms. Castiel held him tighter. It was a struggle to let all the word pass his lips but he had too, "I never stopped loving you. I cradled your soul, I wanted to ease your pain, I wanted to soothe you with all the tenderness I could offer, and I loved you. I hadn't realized I was capable until you proved me wrong. Your soul was, is, so enchanting and magnificent. I was enticed the moment I saw you in hell. My brother, Laoth, believed that I would save you; he had faith in me. I did all I could to get you to come with me until I had to take you. I did not understand how one soul could affect me in such a way, until I did understand, my love for you rivaled my love for god at the time no matter how blasphemous that sounds. I promised I wouldn't leave you. I promised I wouldn't abandon you. I loved you so much…"

Castiel was unaware of the tears falling from his eyes until he felt Dean's rough calloused hands stroking his hair in an effort to offer comfort. He continued, "I told you the very same on our first introduction that I was the one who raised you from perdition. Instead of gratitude and amenity I received violence and an extremely guarded soul. I was aggravated that you did not remember me or our time together. I didn't know what to do. I wanted nothing more than to grab you then and beg you to remember me. At the time I had a mission, but things are different now. I yearned for the day, I said I would wait; I wanted you to remember me. You had become so precious to me. I've seen you at your worst, Dean Winchester, and I loved you still."

Dean's breath was coming out slightly ragged; warm wet tears begun to drip down Castiel's neck. Castiel did not think Dean could hold him any tighter than he was now. Dean's voice cracked as he spoke, "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry. I don't…I don't remember. I'm sorry."

Castiel tried to soothe him, "Hush, it's alright. It's alright now. The past is in the past now. I am still so grateful for everything"

Castiel tried to push Dean away, but Dean wasn't having any of that. He pulled him as close to his chest as he could. Castiel felt he could almost hear the thumping of his heart. Dean whispered, "Cas, you listen to me alright. This isn't easy…but I want to tell you so much…damn it. Cas, I may not remember that time, but that doesn't mean I don't remember every other time. I remember you telling your family of dicks to fuck off to help us, I remember the war in heaven, I remember Purgatory, and I remember all the shit we've been through. Team Free Will the three of us. I remember you being family. I remember thinking of you as my best friend. I remember how much it hurt having to tell you to go. It hurt like hell whenever I lost you."

Dean was almost not able to continue, but Castiel urged him on, "I thought it was selfish how I wanted you for myself. I figured you wouldn't be happy with me. I liked to think you had the same feelings I had for you, but I was just trying to make myself feel better. I didn't even know if you could being an angel and all."

"I'm no angel."

"You're my angel. You're always my angel even without your wings. I love you, Cas."

Castiel pulled away from Dean and stared into his red rimmed eyes, "I love you as well, always"

Dean chuckled, "I hope you don't mind me kissing you now? You're attempt was a little rough."

Castiel smiled, "I was angry and I acted on impulse. I would like you to kiss me very much."

Dean cradled Castiel's face in his hands and brought their lips together. This time they kissed softly, warm, and loving. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck. He loved Dean Winchester so much. Dean Winchester loved him as well. Dean fell on his back on top of the library couch thanks to Castiel's persistence. Castiel would sometimes forget humans actually needed to breathe. Only after a few quick gasps he would quickly return his lips to their rightful place on Dean's. Castiel's fingers grasped the front of Dean's shirt as Dean pulled on Castiel's neck to pull him closer. Dean's lips moved in synch with Castiel's until they begun to explore open mouthed kisses. Damn, Dean had almost forgotten where Castiel had learned how to kiss. He's wished he could thank the pizza man.

Sam must of forgotten one crucial fact because Dean had forgotten it too. There were two doors that went to and from the library. One had been locked by Sam. The other had been opened at that moment by a young man named Kevin Tran. He stared for some time, probably in shock, until he opened his mouth and spoke slowly, "Okay, I knew this was coming…I didn't get into Princeton for nothing. This is just ah…um…well…awkward for one. Well, I am so telling Sam." He winked before closing the door to the library. Castiel rested his head on Dean's chest and he tried to catch his breath. Laughing was such a tiring, but enjoyable act. Dean absently ran his fingers through Cas' hair. His grin reached from ear to ear. He uttered, "I love you…I love you."

Castiel was ecstatic. Dean Winchester loved him. He could not think of anything else that would fill him with such joy. So what if Dean did not remember? They had much more memories together afterwards. They would make so many more.

Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn't going to mention it.

We've been through much together you and I

Don't ever change.

You must've mistaken me for another angel the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you?'

We're family. We need you. I need you.

Castiel touched his forehead to Dean's as he placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Returning to his space in Dean's embrace Castiel buried his face in Dean's neck. He was already addicted to his warmth. He smiled, "I'll always love you, forever and always."

He may not remember that time, but that didn't change anything. The soul Castiel had pulled from hell, healed rebuilt, protected, and loved unconditionally. Dean Winchester loved the angel Castiel. Dean Winchester loved the human Castiel. Dean Winchester loved him. That was enough.