I'll Still Be Loving You:
For the One I love
Chapter: 1
Try
by: Melis
...For The One I Love...Nothing Can Keep Me From You, Nothing And No One...
"Late again..." sighed the black haired beauty, wiping down a clear shot glass with a dry towel.
It was late, really late, like past midnight late. The kids were in bed, and though she was tired too, she opted to stay up and wait until He decided to come home.
...he's not coming... a small voice spoke in her head, causing her to frown.
"Yes he is..." she responded, continuing to clean.
Another hour past, and the bar was beyond beautiful. There was nothing else to do except wipe down the counters...again.
She sighed heavily, resting an elbow on the counter, chin in her hand as she stared blankly at the wall.
Then the door chimed, the girls eyes wide as she gasp. Quickly she rushed around the counter, eager to greet Him, but stopped in her tracks.
The large dark skin male looked at her, his expression mirroring her own confused gaze.
"Tifa...you alwright?" he asked, glancing around.
Again she sighed, rocking on her heels a bit as she slumped against the wall.
"Yeah...fine." she managed
Wordlessly the two made their way to the bar, Tifa taking her spot in the back pulling out some hard liquor and two glasses.
"Unlike you to drink something so strong." spoke the male with a smirk.
Tifa rolled her eyes, pouring the liquor.
"Hush Barret, I need this tonight." she spoke softly, sliding the glass to him.
He caught it, running his massive fingers along the edge of the cool crystal.
"Heh, you and me both." he stated.
Barret raised his glass, Tifa doing the same, the two downing the drinks, Tifa cringing a bit as it ignited her throat.
"Told ya it was strong." added Barret, Tifa glaring.
It was silent for a moment, Tifa noticing the large bag near Barret's feet.
"You're leaving now?" she asked, sounding horrified.
Barret gave a nod, pouring another drink.
"Yup. Gotta head on back to Corel. It's not going to rebuild itself sadly."
Tifa opened her mouth to speak, but stopped, giving a silent nod.
Another hush fell over the two, but Tifa didn't mind, she was comfortable with Barret, at ease. He could sense when to talk and when to let things be and though she was happy for any conversation in this little empty bar, tonight was one of those nights where she wanted to just sit in a dark room and stare at a wall in silence.
"He'll be back Tifa." assured Barret, pulling her back from her trance like state.
The words sunk in, causing the beautiful girl to frown, spinning on her heels now to face her back to the large dark skinned male.
"I'm starting to find that hard to believe..." she stated.
Barret chuckled.
"Why is that funny?" she asked annoyed, facing him.
Barret blinked, coughing some, as he scratched the back of his head.
"Well I ain't sayin' it's funny Tifa, it's more like...I dunno..." he stated, trailing off.
Tifa frowned again, sighing as she folded her arms on the counter, resting her head on them.
"Sometimes...I feel like he doesn't even know I'm here..."
Barret frowned.
"Ah, you know how that spiky ass fool is!"
Tifa shrugged lightly.
" 'Sides, he gotta come back, he promised Denzel he'd take him chocobo riding."
Tifa glared.
"He promised me too."
Barret blinked, looking away.
"Err, I uh, see. Well I'm sure that fool will turn up sooner or later. Anyway, thanks for the drinks." he stated reaching for his wallet, Tifa grabbing his arm, Barret blinking.
"No charge for family." she spoke with a soft smile and wink.
Barret grinned.
With that, he stood, sliding his massive burlap bag over one massive shoulder, adjusting the strap some as he headed towards the door. He was about to open it when Tifa grabbed his arm.
"Eh? What is it?" he asked, looking at her now.
Tifa looked at him with a pained expression, gripping his arm some, before smiling.
"Just...be careful, OK?" she spoke, her voice breaking a bit.
Barret stared, his expression soft, noting the familiar look in her eyes, had seen the same look hours earlier in Marlene's eyes. They both worried for him, and he was happy that someone out there gave a damn about him.
"I will, thanks for taking care of Marlene, it means a lot to me." he spoke, Tifa nodding.
"You know I love her as my own, We...I'll take good care of her."
Barret nodded, the two smiling, saying their wordless goodbyes.
And with that he was gone, Tifa sighed, taking a seat at the bar.
...will he ever come back...? she thought, sure he had forgotten about them, about her. Searching, he was always searching for Her...
Tifa shook her head then, annoyed.
...enough, it's late...I need some rest... she thought, getting to her feet.
She checked the locks and such before retreating to the house. Quietly she stepped down the hall, the floor boards groaning in protest even at her Lilith form.
Gently she eased the door open, peeking into the medium sized room to see Denzel tucked into his bed and...Marlene snuggled up against his chest, clutching her mog plush.
Tifa frowned, shaking her head some as she quietly exited the room, heading to her own.
...poor Marlene...she always gets so upset when Barret leaves...thankfully she has Denzel to keep her strong... thought the petite miss, easing out of her vest now.
She was use to Marlene sneaking into Denzel's bed from time to time, usually when Barret was going off to Corel again. It would be weeks, sometime a month or more before she would see him again. During that time, Marlene had met Denzel and since the moment she met him, she fawnedover the boy like crazy. It was beyond cute and at some point Denzel felt comfortable enough around Marlene to be himself. He never seemed to mind her climbing in bed with him, held her wordlessly as she cried herself to sleep. It was sad and beautiful.
Tifa sighed plopping down on her bed.
It had been a long week...no calls, no letters, nothing. Was he even still alive...?
...of course he is...! he mind interjected, as she rolled onto her side.
He was strong, she knew that, but he was also weak. Without her there to watch him, to care for him, to remind him of his family and friends who were waiting for him, would he really be okay? What lenghts would he go to in order to meet Her again?
Tifa waved those thoughts away quickly, noting her mind was making her rather upset. It was late and she needed sleep. Hopefully things would be better tomorrow.
Hopefully.
The night flew by, as it often did. Before long sunlight was streaming through the curtains, waking the beautiful fighter from her sleep and just in time.
She glanced through bleary eyes at her alarm clock noted it was after 10 am.
...after 10...?...crap...crap...CRAP...!
With that she was up, springing to her feet, gathering her clothing from the floor.
"Ugh...I need to remember to set the alarm!" she cried, tugging on her leather vest and long skirt, lacing her boots with the flick of a wrist. She checked the mirror on the small vanity across the room, running an brush through her long hair quickly, noting she looked rather tired. She shrugged. There was no time to complain, the bar needed to open ASAP if she planned to make any money during the lunch rush. She headed for the door, tugging it open, making her way down the hall as she put on her earrings.
"Marlene? Denzel? Are you guys awake?" she called, peeking into Denzel's room and saw no one, the bed a mess.
She frowned continuing down the hall, calling again as she descended the stairs.
"Guys, I need you to eat quick and get ready to help me open the bar right awa -"
She froze, three steps from the bottom floor looking into the kitchen, saw a figure sitting at the table.
...oh my god...
She leaped over the last three steps, her feet moving fluently as they touched the ground. In seconds she was in the kitchen.
"Cloud! You're back!" she shouted, breathless.
The male looked to her, giving a nod and a forced smile.
Instantly arms embraced him, Tifa crushing herself against him now, burning her face into his golden locks.
"I'm so glad you're back...that you're okay..."
Cloud froze, slight color at his cheeks, gently patting her back. He never really knew what to do in situations like these.
"Thanks..." he spoke, trying to ease back some, but Tifa wouldn't have it, holding onto him still.
He waited, a few minutes passing before she let go, stepping back to look at him.
He was surprised by her sudden affection, blinking as he spotted her now annoyed expression, her arms crossed as well.
"Though I must say, your lack of communication is a little bit upsetting." she growled.
Cloud looked down, sighing softly.
"Sorry..." he stated, noting her angry speech normally came before her bear hugs. He was obviously in a lot of trouble today.
"Sorry? Really? you disappear for weeks, sometimes months and every time, all you can ever say is...sorry?" she asked, Cloud looking to her, then away.
"Do you even mean it?" she asked, Cloud glaring at the floor.
"I do..." he spoke, Tifa laughing, the sound musical.
"I'm starting to find that hard to believe Cloud..." she stated.
There was a short silence, Cloud wondering if he should say something, though nothing came to mind, he opted to just remain silent and let her get it out.
"Where did you go this time...?" she asked, Cloud wondering if he should answer.
"The Sleeping Forest? The Forgotten City...or the Church...?" she asked, her voice laced with anger
Cloud sat wordlessly.
She sighed, stepping to the counter, leaning against it some.
"Barret left today."
Cloud looked up at her now.
"He headed back to Corel. He wanted to see you..."
Cloud looked down again, his expression hurt.
"But you were...God only knows where Cloud..."
Both sighed heavily as silence once again filled the room.
"I'm sorry Tifa..." he spoke, almost a whisper.
Tifa sighed again, walking past him to look out the window.
"I wish I could believe you..."
Another silence, Tifa, biting her lower lip, noting he was quieter then usual. She wasn't sure where he had went exactly, though she hand probably hit the bulls eye when she mentioned the Church. No longer did Tifa follow after or search for him as she once had. She could feel herself growing more and more distant with him, and yet, it felt like he didn't care, let alone notice.
...or maybe...this is what he wants... her mind added, the thought alone enough to make her heart ache.
...but this isn't what I want...! she retorted, knowing this was less then the picture perfect relationship she had planned after their ordeal with Kadaj and friends.
In her mind, things were suppose to be...better. The bond between them was stronger then ever in that moment, and yet, after it all, Cloud went back to the way he was, went back to searching for someone who was no longer of this world, who no longer existed, a memory.
All these thoughts rushed through Tifa's head, her heart aching, tears threatening to fall and before she could compose herself, her lips were moving words spilling out.
"Cloud...what am I to you?"
Cloud blinked looking to her.
She waited a moment, slowly turning to face him, her eyes pained.
"Do you...care for me at all?" she asked, tears on the brim.
Cloud went to open his mouth, but shut it, closing his eyes, his eyebrows knitting into a painful scowl.
Tifa shook her head, clutching her hands to her chest.
"We've been through so much together...and yet I feel like we just keep drifting further and further apart! I don't know what else to do anymore...!"
Before Cloud could respond Tifa fell to her knees before him taking his gloved hands in her own.
"Cloud...I...I love you!"
Cloud stared wide eyes, color heating his pale cheeks.
Tifa blushed as well, her heart racing as she spoke.
"I know we can be happy together, but only if you try with me! I've given you everything and you haven't given me much in return other then a wonderful friendship..." she started, looking to him.
"But I want more then that, I...I want us to be a couple, a real couple. I want you to hold me and I want to hold you. I want to be with you night and day, I love you so much, can't you try to feel the same way?" she asked.
Cloud listened wordlessly, his face beyond red, his own heart racing. He took in her words, swallowing hard for a moment, very aware of her feelings, not to mention shocked as Tifa never was one to speak such things aloud and so honestly. He knew she was speaking the truth, could feel it in the way she held his hands, so tight, her own trembling in his grasp.
"I know...I can never be Her...but I will make you happy, everyday, for the rest of our lives, so please, please...just forget her, stop searching and stay with me... please, can't you just try... for me... for us...?"
The words came out in a rush but Cloud had heard every one. He knew what she was asking, but was he really able to give her what she wanted? Was this what he wanted?
Cloud thought long and hard for a moment, noted the own racing in his heart, knew he felt something for this poor girl who held his hands and spoke her undying love for him, but did he love her?
...I...I don't know... he thought, being completely honest with himself.
And what was love? a word? A feeling? How did it feel to be in love? He couldn't really remember, or maybe it was because he had forced himself to forget, to banish those warm feelings and thoughts from his min and heart, ever since that time...
He cringed, recalling the beautiful maiden in his arms as he let her fall to the deep waters below.
His heart ached, seeing her beautiful green eyes clearly in his mind, her warm smile, the way she spoke his name, held his hand... Her memory was burned forever into his mind, into his heart, and had been so terribly ripped away. Was there even a heart left now? All he had was an empty place full of anger, rage, and sadness, a memory he spent every hour of every second of every day searching for, for a chance, just a moment to see her again.
And yet...
And yet that day never came. Ever since the events with Kadaj and Sephiroth, everything had changed. The scar was once again an open cut, and seeing her in the one final moment at the entrance of the Church was enough to cause that old wound to bleed deeply from within. Could he really feel like that about anyone else?
He looked to the beautiful girl before him, her eyes searching his own, tears streaming down her heated cheeks, her chest still heaving, awaiting his answer.
...it...doesn't matter anymore about me... he thought.
He was right. Enough was enough. Aeris was gone and she was never coming back and he was never going to find her no matter how long her searched. Tifa had been here waiting for him for so long and she was still here now, holding his hands and speaking her love for him and he had done nothing but hurt her, yet maybe, just maybe he could make up for it. Maybe he could give her what she really wanted from him. Clearly he had no real relationships to go off of, but he was well aware of what she wanted ad needed and it was time to pay his dues. And maybe, just maybe, after a few months or a few years he could grow to love her as he once had or more. He wasn't completely sure, but he knew he could try and that's all she was asking from him, was to just try.
...then...it's settled... he thought selfishly, noting he had made up his mind.
"Alright..." he spoke, Tifa blinking looking to him confused.
"I...we can try...to make this work Tifa..." he said softly, gently wiping a tear from her cheek, giving her a smile.
Tifa stared in shock, letting his words sink in.
Was this real? Was this a dream? Was he really going to make this happen?
Without warming she squealed, leaping to her feet and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, happy tears streaming down her red face.
"Oh Cloud!"
Cloud blinked, a bit taken aback, his arms hovering unsure at her sides, but slowly he managed to wrap them around her, embracing her, staring out the window with a pained expression.
"Can I...just ask one thing...?" spoke the blonde haired male.
Tifa leaned back, her hands resting on his shoulders now.
"Yes, anything!"
Cloud looked down for a moment before looking to her once more.
"Let me go to the Church once more..."
Tifa's smile faded.
"I just...I need to end things...for good...and let go..." he spoke softly.
Tifa listened, looking out the window for a moment. Surely there would be no harm in letting him go one last time.
...and this will be the last time... her mind assured her the dark haired beauty, holding his gaze giving a very slight nod.
"But... this is the last time Cloud...after this...please...don't go there anymore...don't go looking for her...after this...she becomes a memory...for good"
Cloud stared at Tifa, his heart aching as she spoke, but Tifa's gaze was unwavering, her eyes hard, jaw set, making it very clear that this indeed would be the end.
With a heavy, heavy heart, he nodded.
The two separated, Cloud heading wordlessly out the door. Tifa watched, spinning on her heels as she excitedly made her way down the second flight of stairs and to the lower level of the bar.
...it's like a dream...! he mind cheered, on cloud 9.
He heart was beating like a drum, a huge weight off her chest as she smiled, grabbing a few rags and such before touching the door knob...
And she stopped...
A sudden eerie silence feel upon her, her heart skipping a beat, a terrible feeling of unease working it's way up her body, a cloud of darkness hanging heavy on her heart.
...why am I feeling like this now...? she wondered, confused.
...everything will be okay now...Cloud chose me...I'm just over thinking...
She continued to reassure herself this, shaking her head as if to clear it stepping into the bar and getting ready for a hopefully hefty lunch rush, trying to ignore the unease in her heart.
"Zack!" screamed the brunette, throwing herself at his side now.
"Aeris...get out of here...hurry!" shouted the spiky haired male, clutching his chest.
Aeris pushed his hands aside, horrified by the massive slash that cut at his clothing and skin.
"Oh god..." she gasped, panic setting in.
Before she could further react a massive blue green light formed a few feet away, the light forming tendrils of green, slithering along the ground and through the air, making it's way toward them.
"Go!" shouted the male, rolling onto his side, then to his hands and knees, one arm clutching his chest, the other pushing on the petite maidens shoulders.
"I will not leave you!" she shouted, getting to her feet.
She reached, pulling on the males arm, him getting to his feet groaning.
"Damn it..." he spoke, noting the green light and tendrils were getting closer.
"He's coming..." stated Zack.
"We can't fight him, we have to escape, hurry!" stated the Centra, tugging on the ex-SOLDIERS hand, leading him to a green pathway a few feet away.
"Aeris...you sure about this?!" he asked, sounding worried.
Aeris nodded, though really had no clue herself.
"Here we go!" she stated, the two running into the massive green light, it fading seconds later, the green tendrils surrounding the area where it once stood, changing it to a deep blue.
And the blue became black, leaking down the stone wall of a large mountain now.
A massive boot thumped against the dirt Earth, a long sigh escaping thing lips.
"How fortunate..." spoke a cool male voice.
He raised a large hand, the green tendrils wrapping about it becoming dark blue then black.
"I see..." he spoke softly turning.
"Looks like I'll be visiting a few old friends today..." he added, cruel laughter following as he slipped into the midnight blue aura, disappearing for...now.
Okay, LOTS of crap happening here but it all needed to get out there so the later chapters can be epic and action packed! I do hope you all will enjoy this crazy story, I've been swirling it around my head forever now and it feels soooo good to finally get it out! I did my best to keep everyone in character but please comment and let me know if i need to change a few things! I'm hoping for great things with this story, and if not, well at least it's entertaining to me XP Anyhoo, please please please read and review and enjoy this chapter and the next! - Melis