AN: It's been too long since I last woke up before dawn. It feels like a dream, but it feels wonderful, to be able to beat the sun at its own game, so to speak. I haven't been spoiled about anything as of late, then again, it's only been ten days (as of current writing) since my last update. Well what else is there to say? Time to get on with it!

October 2 – Welp… I got more spoilers. From the same well-meaning random img-sharing friend who spoiled me for Rebellion. To be fair, he was right that it was the kind of show I'd watch. But I didn't tell him that I typically don't watch things until they're at least two years old. This chapter title is close to my heart. Because in two cases, they're what spoiled me. That is all.

Daydreamer: Thanks. Hopefully there will be less disturbances in the future.

Cyborg: In a meta kind of sense, this story is something of a rant.

Disclaimer: I don't own Meduka Meguca. I don't even own any figma of them, but what the hell. It's not like I own much of anything outside of this computer.

VII. AVOID ANY AND ALL FANART

Have you ever seen that drawing by Da Vinci? The one with the naked guy in two superimposed poses? One is standing normally and the other one has his limbs stretched out. Yes, that one. It's called the Vitruvian Man, because of… I dunno, maybe he was from some place called Vitruvius, and they had a habit of doing jumping jacks or something. Can't really figure out what would be so interesting about someone that Da Vinci would want to draw them, unless the posture itself was interesting. Go google it if you want to know more.

In any case, since this whole witch labyrinth, lair, evil hideout, or whatever you call it, was a mockery of an art gallery, filled with modern art, and populated by angry artistic tools, it was no surprise that the witch that ran the place looked like some very iconic piece of art. Well… a blasphemous modern art parody of it, anyway. I mean, I wouldn't have minded having to fight a living portrait of Da Vinci, or hell, Van Gogh, but I guess that would be too egotistical, huh? I mean, who wouldn't brag about having beaten the tar out of Da Vinci?

"I've yet to see a witch that resembles a famous person, sadly." Tomoe-san fluffed her beret and fixed herself up, psyching herself out for the fight ahead.

"Yeah, that's too bad." I stretched my limbs and flexed my joints. Surprisingly, they weren't aching from throwing that giant spiked wrecking ball around. "Well, here's hoping I'll get to fight Witch Commodore Perry someday."

The senior merely giggled. "My, you seem to have an unusual fascination of picturing historical figures as witches."

"I blame Kyubey. Interrogated him a bit yesterday about how long he's been doing this, and apparently, magical girls have been fighting witches since ancient times. Some were actually even famous, like Joan of Arc."

"Then I guess we should do our part and leave our own mark on history," Tomoe-san started walking in the direction of the mountainous canvas and easel looming in the distance, the Vitruvian Witch's tentacles all wiggling in a mind boggling music video kind of way. See, they weren't "live" tentacles. More like… sketchily drawn tentacles, because, you know, it was a drawing. So if you can imagine drawings moving around in 3D-space… yeah, I'm sure you're getting a headache too right about now.

"Was wondering when you'd ask." I took a quick glance at Fumina and Hayase to see if they were going to be alright. Needless to say, the former was already waving us off with some boxing moves, clearly eager to see more witch-smacking action, while the latter was quietly waving us off in the normal sort of way. Kyubey, meanwhile, sat on the giant piece of grey eraser, staring on like he usually did.

"Don't worry, Haruka," said the little rabbit-cat. "If anything happens to you, I'll make sure they get out of this alive."

Right, and I'm Santa Claus. I rolled my eyes. There was nothing he could do to "make sure" they got out alive. He could say he could give them a chance, or something like that, but that wasn't quite the same thing either. I followed Tomoe-san towards the badly drawn artistic witch. "So, wanna make a bet? Five hundred yen says the canvas is part of the witch."

"It's hard to say, exactly…" She squinted. "As I said earlier, witches can be very tricky. For all we know, the canvas isn't just part of the witch, but the witch itself, and the drawing is just a distraction. Whichever it is, we'll see."

"So…?"

Tomoe-san smiled, like she always seemed to do. "A thousand yen says the witch is the canvas."

I smirked back at her, readying my weapon. At least she was willing to play. "You're on."

As we drew closer to the witch, I picked up my meteor hammer and started to swing it, getting some momentum in there. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tomoe-san drawing a musket for her first shot. "Say, did we agree on a timing for this?"

"Just follow my lead, Suzumiya-san." The senior aimed high and pulled the trigger, golden bolt putting a hole in the canvas. Which bled white sketchy sparrows that flew away as fast as possible. You could say it made for a dramatic action movie atmosphere. "Looks like the sparrows are flying again."

"Again?" I raised an eyebrow – not that she would've seen it, or anything – as I threw the wrecking ball at the witch, the wobbly sketchy tentacles grabbing it mid-air. I heaved, pulling it back as I threw the other head in the witch's direction. It reacted again, just a little too slowly this time, as the spiked ball slammed into its half-prepped tentacle and crushed it. Somehow. Remember! It was 2D!

"Oh, just a line from an old horror novel." Six shots in rapid succession. Tomoe-san really had me outdone in the speed department. I suppose this made us complementary, in a way. She was the infantry – lots of bullets, but each one by itself did little damage, while I was the artillery. Slow, but devastating. At least, I'd like to think of it that way. The witch was, in this case, badly hampered in mobility. Apparently it couldn't get off of the easel where it was sitting.

"Involving… what, a flock of killer sparrows?" I took another swing, this time to break off one of the easel's legs, to see if it would distract the witch further. It sent a flurry of tentacles down to catch the ball. Tomoe-san intercepted them, however, firing off a barrage of shots that shredded the tentacles and allowed my swing to connect.

More sparrows flew out of the broken easel leg.

"Something like that," Tomoe-san mused. "Though I wouldn't say they killed people, so much as brought their souls to the other side." Apparently agitated, the witch bundled more tentacles together, until they took the shape of a giant sketchy… big-mouthed very toothy worm-like… thing. That happened to be made of sketchy tentacles. Okay, so I can't describe a witch to save my life. But that was the best I could make of it. "Move!"

At Tomoe-san's shouting, I jumped to my left, while she rolled in the opposite direction, the two of us barely dodging the snapping worm thing that suddenly lunged at us without warning. I decided to oblige, throwing a head at the writhing body, while Tomoe-san was already raining golden death on the other side. Suffice it to say that between the both of us, the worm ended up decapitated. "I'm starting to think you'll be winning this bet. It looks like the witch is the canvas and easel, while the sparrows are the blood."

"It does look that way, doesn't it?" She took more shots at a dozen other tentacles following up on us. "It might just be projecting these images as its method of attack, but the body itself is the art equipment!"

"I'm on it!" I started to swing the other head about, getting momentum in there for a shot at the other leg. Maybe causing the witch to topple over. Tomoe-san apparently understood this, and brought out more guns to provide covering fire.

"Whenever you're ready!"

I screamed out loud. As if that would do anything. Maybe I've seen too many of my brother's shounen anime. Whatever the case, it felt like this would somehow increase the likeliness of the attack connecting. I let the meteor hammer fly. A pair of tentacles got in the way, but were quickly shot down in a storm of gunfire. Just as I thought it would break that other leg, the strangest thing happened. Wood turned to flesh and the easel leg moved aside like an arm. The hammer head flew right past it, leaving the chain passing by. Before I understood what was happening, the leg had already wrapped around my chain and was pulling me towards the witch like a game of tug-o-war.

"Suzumiya-san!"

I struggled, trying to pull it back with all my might, to no avail. I found myself being dragged, even as I tried my best to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.

Tomoe-san called out a second time. "Suzumiya-san! Hang on!"

Golden bolts sprayed at the leg as dozens of muskets fired, causing it to let go of the chain, much like a child's hand being spanked for taking a cookie from the jar. I fell back onto my bum as the force I was struggling against disappeared. It took a few seconds to recover, but in that amount of time, Tomoe-san had already turned most of the witch into Swiss Cheese. That should tell you, really: don't mess with Tomoe-san's apprentice… whether it be me, or some other girl who might work with her someday.

By the time I'd recovered my hammer head and started gathering spin momentum, there wasn't much left to be done. "Tomoe-san!"

She stopped for a moment, as if my voice had suddenly distracted her. The blonde senior turned in my direction, a warm smile on her face. "Oh good. You're better now. " Tomoe-san resumed focusing on the witch. "Take out the other leg, and I'll finish the rest."

"Now we're talking!" Momentum all wound up, I let the hammerhead fly, hitting the still reeling leg with all my strength. The sound was like a tenderizer whacking a slab of meat. There was no explosion of sparrows. No, it didn't seem so brittle as before. So I pulled it back and sent the other head in. That did the job.

"It's time to close down this gallery!" Tomoe-san undid the ribbon at the top of her dress and spun it into that giant gun from before. "TIRO FINALE!"

There were fireworks. Long story short, the witch died, we got ourselves a grief seed that we could use to suck out the bad stuff from our soul gems, picked up Fumina, Hayase, and Kyubey, and hop skipped it out of that lair. The sun was long gone by that point, and the alley was completely dark. Which was mainly why you could imagine how hard it was to see the girl with a spear sitting on top of the dumpster, enjoying some alone time with an apple.

"Took you guys long enough." All I heard, really, was 'munch munch munch'. "For just a sec, I thought I was gonna be able to get the grief seed for myself. But I guess you earned it, eh, rookie?"

So this was her. That Sakura girl, who used to work with Tomoe-san, but had a falling out with her. I nodded. "I'd say it was more of a team effort."

"Wow!" She set the apple down in her lap in order to give a single loud clap. "You sound like just the kind of person Mami would like to work with! A 'team player'!" Sakura picked her apple back up and took another bite, crossing her legs as she reclined. "Lemme tell ya, though. This thing ain't your typical run off the mill magical girl anime. Not everybody is gonna join the Three Mamisketeers or whatever the hell you guys decide to call it. Because let's face it. At the end of the day, a girl's gotta have a grief seed. It's just like food."

Munch.

"And even with this abnormal increase in witch count the past couple weeks, there just ain't enough witches to serve as a sustainable supply. You get what I'm sayin'?"

Hayase raised her hand. "Excuse me, Sakura-san."

"Oh, hey. She already told you about me, huh?" Munch. "Figures. Yeah, what is it?"

"Have you ever considered the possibility that, working in a sizeable group means more effective witch hunting teams, and thus, a higher net yield of grief seeds?"

She stopped munching on that apple for a while and hummed to herself in thought. "And you'll overhunt them to extinction. Listen, Eyebrows. It's like fishing. You catch the adult fish and leave the baby fish to grow up. But if you catch too many adult fish, there probably won't be any left to lay eggs."

"And how do witches reproduce…?" She raised an eyebrow. Did I mention Hayase has big eyebrows?

"Familiars," the redhead said matter of factly, as she resumed munching on the apple. "They spawn familiars. Cute little baby tots. Kill it, and you just wasted your sweat. No grief seeds. But once it matures into a witch, that's something worth investing some effort in hunting."

"Sakura-san," Tomoe-san finally spoke up. Her voice was stern. It made some sense. More witches meant more suffering, after all. "We've already discussed this matter. I'm not going to let you "farm" witches that way."

"See, Mami, this is why we just didn't work out." Sakura stood up, spear hanging lazily over her shoulder. "You're too much like a classical magical girl. When are you gonna wake up and smell the coffee? This is the real world. Nobody fights for truth, justice, and love! We all fight for one thing, and that's survival! And you know what they say about survival! It's for the fittest!"

Tomoe-san remained quiet, her face downcast.

"Look, I don't mean to burst your bubble. We used to work together, after all. But like I told you before, putting together a team like this is just gonna starve you guys. I seriously think you should send the normals back home. And the rookie… she can probably fend for herself now, if you don't wanna use her for witch bait."

"Hey!" If I could snarl, I would've done just that. Unfortunately, yelling was the best I could manage. "I don't know what you went through with Tomoe-san, but you should just keep it to yourself. She's moved on, and you should too!"

"Tch." Sakura took one last angry bite of the apple before dropping it into the dumpster. "The hell have you been teaching this rookie, Mami? I hope it's not some stupid picture of sparkles, hearts, rainbows, cakes and tea. Because damn if that isn't the dumbest image you can paint of a magical girl's life. If anybody needs to move on, it's you. Stop treating this like a TV show and start thinking like an orphan in a third world country!" She turned away and crouched, in a ready to pounce position. "Eh. Screw this. There's no getting through to you. Do whatever the hell you want. Starve your Three Mamisketeers to death. Just make sure to keep your witch hunting out of my turf, cuz I sure as hell ain't sharing any grief seeds."

Like the proverbial Superman, she leaped to the rooftop across the alley in a single bound, leaving the four (or five, if you count Kyubey) of us to our own devices.

"… Tomoe-san?" The first person you'd want to check up on, of course, was the target of that earlier speech. She was still quiet, and still downcast.

"… I'm fine, Suzumiya-san."

"Man, I used to think she was cool!" Fumina ruffled her hair in irritation. "But now it's obvious she's a total jerk!"

"Please don't say that," After all that, Tomoe-san, you're still willing to defend her? "Sakura-san means well. It's just… she's been through a lot. Arguably, she's been through worse than me. It's really shaped her thinking…"

"Well if you put it that way…" my eyebrows furrowed. "But that still doesn't give her the right to tell you off like that. You've also been through some pretty bad stuff."

She smiled, holding up the grief seed like a prized catch. "Let's just forget about her. Tonight, it's tea and cakes, for a first hunt well done."

At the mention of tea and cakes, Fumina's mood lightened up and she squealed, while Hayase merely hummed in agreement.

As we left the alley, Kyubey hopped up onto my shoulder. "So you see, girls? It's not all bad, as Sakura Kyouko says it is. Nothing's stopping you from enjoying little victories like this. After all, for each witch you put down, that's another untold number of people you save."

"Yeah, Coobie's right." Fumina "stole" the critter for herself, punching his cheeks like we did back at class. "Sure, we gotta survive, but when we do, it's awesome!"

I looked up at the night sky. There were some stars out tonight, which was always nice. And I wondered to myself. If Justicia met a girl like Sakura… how would she react? How would she deal with her? That was an interesting issue to think about. Because honestly, given how that talk went down, she was dangerous, and willing to make use of that danger. If we weren't careful, we might end up fighting a fellow magical girl. And like the old saying goes… divided, we fall.

END VII.

AN: So obviously, I should start planning more. This is… becoming much longer than anticipated. Worse, I'm getting distracted by other ideas in my head… hell, much of my brainpower seems to be going towards an original magical girl story I'm working on. Which unfortunately leaves me with little brainpower for this one.

Which isn't cool at all. Sorry. I really should get my focus back on and finish what I started. Otherwise I'll take forever (again) to get the next chapter out. Reviews would be very much appreciated.