It feels really good to be home. Peeta, who has been pretty down since his episode, perks up as soon as we get back. He rushes round the house lighting all the fires and starting to bake, then dashes over to Haymitch's to invite him over for dinner.

'Ella came back but left again' he informs me. 'Said it was too cold for her.'

'Haymitch ok?' I ask.

'Seems to be. Said her whinging about how cold she was all the time wasn't exactly fun and it's not like he can't cope without her for a few years at a time so…'

'So stop talking about me when I'm right here' Haymitch adds, stepping in from the cold.

He gives me a big hug. 'Boy ok now?' he whispers in my ear.

'Yeah. It probably wasn't as bad as my Mother made out' I tell him, sotto voce. He nods briefly once then demands to hear about the delights of the Capitol. We chat all evening, though for the first time I am the one who suggests turning on the news. Apparently more new train lines have been given the go ahead and hovercrafts have been banned in more districts. There has been a protest in the Capitol in support of nuclear disarmament, though Peeta can't see Amelia in any of the coverage, and seafood prices are increasing, which is fine as we've just eaten enough seafood to last a lifetime. We turn the tv off again before any ridiculous Capitol programming invades our home but I like that I know at least a little of what is going on in Panem at large. Maybe this is what Dr Aurelius refers to as re-joining the world.

I think Haymitch must have missed us as he crashes on our chair even though his house is already warm and only ten metres away. I find it kind of comforting, having him there. That is until Peeta and I go up to bed. Given Peeta's embarrassment at my mother's house he had flat out refused to do anything sexual while we were in her spare room. He was so anxious I don't he could have to be honest. But now we're back, and our bed is so inviting and it only takes a quick glance when I meet his eyes and I am so wet with need. I want him to pound into me and I want to scream his name. But Haymitch is downstairs. I can see Peeta's eyes working through this too. 'Come on' he says grabbing my arm and pulling me into the bathroom. He strips quickly and turns on the shower. Beckoning me in. I follow suit, tearing at my clothes in my hurry. We are both so tightly wound that it barely takes minutes of brief touches before we've both climaxed, no fear of being heard as we moan freely over the noise of the pounding water in the shower. It isn't enough, that flurry of an orgasm, but it takes the edge off the hunger enough that when we've dried off and hunkered down under our warm quilt, we can take the time to pleasure each other more slowly, more thoroughly and just as importantly, more quietly.

In the morning I am torn. As the first light filters through the window I wake in Peeta's arms, my head tucked under his chin and my body pressed closely against his. It feels so comfortable and part of me wants to stay like that and wake him with kisses and stay in bed all day. But part of me is itching to run, run into the woods that have always been my sanctuary. Peeta stirs behind me. I flip over to kiss him and he smiles as his eyes flicker open.

'It's ok, go' he says, without me saying anything about how I'm feeling.

'Go where?' I ask, not sure, if we're on the same page.

'The woods silly. I can feel you straining. Just go, stretch your legs. You miss your home, all of it. That's ok.' I marvel at how in tune with me he is but he just shrugs and looks embarrassed. 'I kind of feel the same about the bakery' he admits. 'I want to get back. Andrea moves things when I'm not looking and Rory's great at the baking, but he just doesn't care about the aesthetics of the food as much as I do.'

So we each go our own ways. Me to the woods, Peeta to the bakery and Haymitch back to his house, presumably to drink. I don't accomplish much, it's still too cold for there to be anything to hunt, but the air does me good and gives me time to process the events of my trip. I can almost hear Dr Aurelius in my head, talking about how important reflecting time is. I probe my own thoughts. My main reflections are that I must have made a pretty bad impression on President Paylor and that I'm not quite sure how to deal with Peeta and his worries about hurting me. Maybe I'll talk to Haymitch. He'll be an arse about it but he usually provides some kind of insight. I don't find anything edible but I do find a bush that produces berries that can be used to make a sort of cream for burns. I cut several braches of thinking Peeta can use which would be best to sketch for the book. It's a plant I've already mentioned but made Peeta draw from my description and I don't think he'd believe the actual puce colour of the berries unless he sees them himself.

He's already home when I get back and makes me tea as I defrost by the fire. I give him the berries by way of explaining my day and he fills me in on all the town gossip. The only bit that really interests me is about Rory.

'So I found out why he lied about me giving him the time off work' Peeta explains. 'There's no great secret really. He's just proud of his work and wanted his Mother and Siblings to see him serving customers and making bread and things. It's quite sweet really. Though I gave him an earful about lying to Hazelle.'

I scoff at the idea of Peeta giving anyone an earful and he admits he didn't shout or anything, but maintains he gave Rory a stern talking to. He must have driven something home as Rory apologise to me even. He said he understood things with Gale were weird and he was sorry if he'd made things awkward between Peeta and Me and his family. It hadn't, but I thanked him and eagerly accepted his penance of forcing me to taste all the things he wanted to bake when his family came out. He was slightly red-faced when he admitted his Ma had been only too happy to make the trip when he'd explained why it was so important to him. I guess it was just more than Peeta's baking skills that were rubbing off on him. He was losing his broody Hawthorness by the day.

When Hazelle and Vick and Posy do come out they seemed impressed too. Vick scoffs down serious amounts of food, growing boy I suppose. He says it's all better than anything in the inner districts and Rory nearly bursts with pride though all he says is 'yeah, right'. Posy is enamoured with all the decorations and Rory and Peeta help teach her to make roses out of icing. Hazelle and I mostly sit in Rory's room upstairs drinking tea and talking. She tells me about her new life and how hard it is to navigate. 'At least with laundering I knew what I was doing, even if my hands bleed and my back ached. With all this new living I'm just a bit lost. Posy and Vick have taken to it much quicker and I'm beginning to feel like the proverbial old dog. Luckier than most though. Got all my family.' She acknowledges my loss with a squeeze of my arm and even missing Prim and seeing bits of her in Posy can't ruin my enjoyment of her company. She's a bit funny around Peeta and I suppose it's her wanting me to have ended up with Gale or her feeling he's stolen Rory. I'm wrong though. It is one evening after the bakery's closed to customers and it is just all of us left. Peeta is showing Posy how to make gingerbread men, helping her push out the shapes as she keeps breaking the legs of them when she handles the dough too roughly. I catch Hazelle watching them with a funny expression.

'What?' I ask her. I've known her long enough to be direct.

'He's just so gentle. Not what I was expecting given what Gale and your Ma said.'

Now this makes me hopping mad. How dare either of them say a bad word about Peeta. I am setting quietly at them but Hazelle is still watching her baby girl and my husband and I don't want to spoil her moment by getting mad. Her honesty sparks mine though.

'You're not cross at me, are you?' I ask, hesitantly. I don't have to explain. She understands and turns around to draw me into a one armed hug as we continue watching the scene.

'Lordy, no. Not cross. Disappointed, maybe. This could have been our life, family you know. But I've known for a while it was never going to be like that. You and Gale are too alike. All edges and corners. You'd have worn each other away over time.'

I squeeze her to say thank you. The moment is ended by Vick trying to help Rory bring in supplies. He won't admit that he's not quite as strong as his brother, who is older and used to lugging huge flour sacks around, and is staggering under the weight. We all have a good laugh at him but I catch Peeta looking sad. Missing his brothers, I think. He doesn't say anything but he writes something in our book before he comes to bed that night.