Hi everyone!

So this is something I wrote back in about August (I think) for Fandom 4LLS. It's something that originally came to me whilst I was watching Home and Away, which for my American readers (which, let's not kid, is about all of you) is a soap opera. Also for my Americans, this is set in Sydney, Australia.

Eventually, it transformed into something completely different, and now I have this oneshot that I would really like to share with you.

I just want to quickly warn that a HEA is ensured. ;) But also that the subject matter of this oneshot is quite sad and if you have any experience with cancer - in particular, melanoma - it may not be a good idea for you to read this if you're sensitive about it.

The members of Bexie25 Fanfics have been hearing all about this, and were privy to a small teaser of the chapter, but that's about it. For you, I hope this lives up to whatever you hoped it would be... :)

The banner is in my facebook FF group-Bexie25 Fanfics.

Last but not least, enjoy, and I'll see you down the bottom! Thank you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing; SM owns everything Twilight.

Warning: Lemon, sensitive matter

My nose wrinkled as I walked down the hall toward my husband's room. The smell was weird, uncomfortable but still not all that horrid. It was oddly sweet in a way, but at the same time, disturbing and disconcerting. It was the smell of old people, I supposed, combined with that of antiseptic and disease.

I hated coming here. Every time I came, it felt as though my heart was tearing just a little more than it already was. I hated leaving just as much, going back to an empty house that should be filled with the one person I cannot live without.

Sydney's Royal North Shore hospital was a hospital I hated in particular. My father's father had died there, as had my father himself, and now it was quite possible he would, too.

If only we had realised the signs… if we had been more careful.

Last year, in November, he had been fine. Not feeling too well, with an ugly mole on his back from the sunbaking days of his childhood, but all right nonetheless. Ten months later, and I hardly recognised him; he was tired all the time, hooked up to machines, his gorgeous, messy mane completely gone. He was thin—sickly thin—and his pale skin had not a hint of colour.

But, lately, things had taken a turn for the worse. He was so weak now that he couldn't get out of bed, and he was asleep most of the day. I could only hope he was awake now, but I didn't mind sitting with him if he wasn't.

I rounded the last corner and stood still for a moment as I reached the door to his room. My heart broke and my throat tightened as I took in the sight of my husband, depleted and as pale as the bed sheets, his eyes closed.

Oh, Edward.

He wasn't comfortable, though at the moment, he never was. He was mumbling a little, his brow puckered in distress, his head lolling from side to side. I swallowed back the pain of seeing him like this and took a deep breath before stepping into the room. I didn't stop until I reached him, and I grabbed his hand carefully in mine, rubbing my thumb against the back of it.

"Edward, baby," I whispered, sitting down in the chair the nurses had set up by his side. He let out a sound that was the mixture of a groan and a whimper. I frowned and leaned closer, swapping the hand that held his gently so I could caress and cup his cheek. "Love, it's all right. I'm here now."

"Hmm… Bella," he whispered, so quietly I almost missed it. He moaned and squeezed his eyes shut weakly, a weird choking sound erupting from his throat as he tried and failed to swallow.

I bit back a sob.

"I'm here," I said in a soothing tone. "I'm right here, Edward. It's all right."

He groaned wordlessly, but after a moment he seemed to settle down into a calmer sleep. I smiled softly as I watched him settle. I stayed for a while as he slept, and we were undisturbed, thankfully. Edward did not open his eyes once, but on a few occasions, he whispered my name. Those were the moments I lived for.

I looked up when Edward's doctor, Doctor Snow, entered the room.

"Doctor Snow," I greeted him.

He smiled and nodded at me, and I shook his hand, not bothering to get up. I wasn't willing to leave Edward's side for anything. "Mrs Cullen. Would it be all right to have a word with you? We have Edward's latest test results back in."

My heart lurched in my chest and I swallowed. I didn't respond for a moment as I tried to calm myself, in the process beating the hope that welled; there was no use as it was always in vain.

"If you wouldn't mind, I really would prefer if we could stay here?" I asked him quietly, glancing at Edward. "I'd really rather not leave his side; he's not sleeping easily."

Doctor Snow nodded. "Yes, well, that's to be expected. Edward's condition is very serious, Isabella."

Tears welled in my eyes as my mind came to understand what my heart could not. "How long?" I whispered hoarsely after a moment. My eyes trained on Edward's face, riveted. Even as Doctor Snow answered me, I could not look away.

"Not long," he replied gravely, clearing his throat. "I'd say a few days, at the rate he is going now."

I clenched my eyes closed as my throat tightened inexplicably. A sob built in my chest and I couldn't help but let it out. Pain, undeniable fucking grief, gripped me tight and consumed me.

"Edward," I cried, gripping his hand harder in mine. He groaned, but I couldn't loosen my grip. Sob after sob wracked my frame as I held onto the one thing I needed, the one thing I could not live without. "Oh, god, Edward..."

I gasped and flew up into a seated position. I was shaking, the room around me black. My eyes instantly landed on Edward, who lay asleep, ignorant and sound, just beside me. My brow puckered and I wiped the tears from my eyes with the sides of my hands, staring at my very much alive and sleeping husband.

I was in utter disbelief. The pain of that… that dream—that nightmare—still gripped me tight, not letting go. It squeezed at my pounding heart and grappled with my mind and eyes as I tried struggled to understand what had just happened and what I was seeing before me now.

I sunk back into the bed and turned to face Edward, my eyes wide as they flew over his features in undiluted panic. His face was the epitome of calm and peace; such a ridiculous contradiction to mine, panic-stricken, pained and disbelieving. Hesitantly, I reached toward him and let my fingers graze the skin of his cheeks, his jaw. My breath hitched and my throat tightened again as my mind started to slowly come back to reality the more I looked at my husband's sleeping face.

My hand flew to my mouth as tears streamed down my face, clouding my vision. I sobbed into my hand as I stared at Edward, relief paramount as my mind slowly came to terms with the fact that this was real, and not a dream.

I huddled closer to Edward, needing to feel him envelop me in his arms. I didn't turn, instead opting to let my arm drape across his chest, my head against his shoulder. Even in sleep, Edward wrapped his arms around me and mumbled my name. I let out one more little sob before I closed my eyes and breathed in Edward's deep scent, letting it lull me to a thankfully dreamless sleep.

~O~

I didn't sleep well for the next week. Every time Edward left for work and I was alone, fear struck me and I would simply sit there in bed, unable to move. I still couldn't handle the thought of that ghastly nightmare, but the sounds, the smells, images and words were everywhere, determined to not leave me alone.

I was petrified, living in a constant state of fear and anxiety. My eyes were often on Edward, searching his every feature. We'd showered together the morning afterwards, and I'd burst into tears when I spotted a mole on his back.

I gripped Edward as he slept. Every time I felt like I was drifting, teetering on the edge of consciousness and sleep, I would jolt awake.

Edward asked me what was wrong several times, and I tried to brush it off and say it was nothing, but I knew he saw right through me. He always had. But, thankfully, he also knew that I would say something when I was ready, so he tried to act as normally as possible despite my many freak-outs and my borderline obsessive behaviour.

I became increasingly agitated with myself. I felt like I was going crazy. Worry, fear, pain, and anxiety gripped me every second of every day. I had no idea what to do, until I talked to my mother when she called while Edward was at work on the following Friday.

"Darling, what's the matter?" she asked after a few moments of mindless chatter. She must have realised that I wasn't even really listening as she gave me her weekly spiel about what she'd been up to, how she was doing. Even after all these years, it was still so hard for her without Dad.

"What?" I asked absentmindedly. "I'm fine. Nothing's wrong."

"I call bullshit," she replied in that strict mother voice of hers.

I sighed. "I'm just worried. I… I had a dream that was a little disconcerting and I don't know what to do about it."

"I take it, it was about Edward?" she asked softly.

I swallowed. "Uh, yeah, it-it was."

"Well, darling, maybe you could look up whatever it was that scared you?" she suggested softly, and I heard a little ruffling of papers in the background. "It might give you some peace of mind…"

I frowned, unable to argue with the logic of her words, at the same time that my heart pounded painfully. It was true that it could make me feel better, but there was a possibility that it would make me feel worse; what happened if the dream turned out to be true? I mean, Edward had spent a lot of time in the sun when he was younger… that upped the chances of melanoma, right?

I sighed. "I might, ma. I don't know."

"Ok, darling," she replied. "Well, I'll let you go, ok? It's getting late and if you do want to look it up, it might be best to do it before Edward gets home. He's been very concerned about you."

I frowned, a swell of anger gripping me. "Wait, did he call you? Are you doing this for him? Mum, you cannot tell him about this."

She hushed me. "Calm, sweetheart. He merely called me and asked if I knew anything; said you'd been acting weird and distant all week. You're frightening him, darling," she told me tentatively. "I suggest you talk to him about this."

I went to object, but sighed harshly instead. "I've got to go. I'll call you next week, ok?"

"All right, dear," she said. "And, Bella, please do talk to him; that husband of yours is crazy about you. He's absolutely terrified that something is wrong, and he'll need to hear it from you that there isn't."

I didn't respond, instead opting to hang up after a moment of silence. I sat there for a moment, hunched forward and leaning my elbows on the counter. I took deep breaths as I thought about what Mum had said, before I shook my head and rubbed my face with my hands. I got a glass at water and took it over to the desktop we had set up in the office just down the hall.

I sat in front of the computer and turned it on. While it loaded, I sat there and drank the glass of water, glancing at the clock on the wall every few minutes. Edward was due home in about twenty minutes, so I would really be cutting it fine. But Mum was right; I needed to do this for my peace of my mind and my sanity. And I knew it would be better—easier—to do it before Edward got home.

It only took a few moments once the computer was on and working to start searching. I opened Chrome and sat there for a few seconds, looking at the screen with a dry mouth. Anxiety and fear built within me, little voices in my head telling me that if I did this and Edward did have cancer, it would kill me. I squashed the voices down, took deep breaths and quickly punched in one word.

Melanoma.

There were several sites that popped up, of course. I tongued the inside of my cheek as I looked at the different headings, and after a moment of indecision, I quickly opened the first link.

I took a deep breath as it loaded and when it had, I scrolled past the 'what is melanoma' heading to look for the section that would tell me what the signs were.

Unfortunately, it was more confusing than that. I read the little blurb toward the bottom and frowned as it read that the first sign was really just the sight of an 'atypical mole'. I scrolled down a little further, my confusion building as I neared the bottom of the page.

Side by side were two pictures: a picture of a normal, symmetrical mole and a picture of an asymmetrical one. I looked at them, leaning forward a little and frowning as I studied it then remembered back to the moles I'd found on Edward's back and arms. They were a different colour to the one in the symmetrical picture, but none of them really looked like the asymmetrical one. I hoped that was a good thing as I clicked the 'back' button and opened the second tab.

I hoped this one was a little more forthright with information and signs.

It was no luck; this site looked to be worse. I scrolled down slowly, and breathed a small sigh of relief when I reached the heading 'what are the signs and symptoms?'. I read the little section over twice, my heart pounding as images of the moles on Edward's body came once again to the forefront of my mind as I tried to fit these symptoms with them. I also tried to remember back to when Edward might have complained of itchiness, but then I sighed with frustration; Edward was never the type to complain.

"Fuck!" I hissed.

This whole idea had been stupid; there was no way this could have possibly achieved anything! These sites were fucking confusing, even though the last one had been better with a list of proper signs. Even so, Edward never complained about any-fucking-thing, so even if I did find the correct information and I could remember these symptoms relating to him, I wouldn't be able to be completely positive.

This was the first time I was pissed that Edward didn't complain about anything, that he was the exact opposite of the other members of his gender when it came to being sick.

With another huff, I moved the mouse to go back and look for another site when I heard the front door open and close. I gasped and my mind went blank for a moment as Edward called my name. After a moment of complete stillness, I fumbled with the mouse and clicked. The tab disappeared and I turned the computer off, satisfied.

I walked out and down the hall, bumping into Edward when I rounded the corner. I smiled up at him, my cheeks flushing and mouth dry as he looked at me with his brow puckered in adorable confusion.

"Hi, love," he said softly, wrapping his arms around my waist. He tugged me toward him and bent down, brushing his lips against mine, both of us smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Hi," I whispered, biting my lip. "How was your day?"

He shrugged. "All right. I missed you today."

"Hmm, did you?" I asked, nipping at his bottom lip. I smiled and pecked him on the lips again, whispering against them, "I missed you, too." I leaned back then and took Edward's hand, turning him around and pulling him with me toward the kitchen. "What do you want for dinner?"

He didn't respond though, and when I felt him stop walking behind me, I turned around, frowning. Edward was standing there, looking down at me, his lips pursed and his brow puckered; he was thinking hard about something.

"Edward? Baby, are you okay?" I asked him, cupping his cheeks as I stepped closer.

"I—" he started, only to cut himself off and clear his throat. He looked at me for a few seconds longer before he sort of snapped out of it, blinking rapidly a few times. I simply stood there wordlessly. The more he carried on like this, the more worried I got. He cleared his throat again and looked down. "I'm fine, but I... uh, I have to finish something. I'll be in the office, okay?" He pointed with his thumb back toward the hall.

I frowned, still concerned by his peculiar behaviour. "But, baby, you haven't even told me what you want for dinner."

He smiled and shook his head. "You decide, love," he said, and with one more peck on the lips, he was gone.

I stood there for a few seconds, still reeling a little. That was odd, I thought after a minute. I took a deep breath and shook it off; Edward would tell me if he wanted me to know or if it was something I needed to know. If he wasn't telling me, it's probably no big deal…

Then again, am I really sure there was nothing on those sites about spacing out or weird behaviour? I asked myself as I got out ingredients for a roast. I shook my head and snorted; I was just being stupid. There was nothing wrong with my husband… it was just a dream after all.

"Just a dream," I whispered under my breath as I started cutting the potatoes. I hummed quietly to myself as I did so, my mind wandering over various things.

I didn't even hear Edward come in until he spoke.

"Bella?" he asked, his tone distressed, cautious and worried all at the same time. "Bella, why were you looking up skin cancer?"

My mind drew a blank, dread setting in my heart.

"Ah!" I cried out as I sliced myself with the knife. I looked down, my throat tightening as I saw the blood. Queasiness welled within me, and I cupped my hand over my mouth, taking deep breaths as I turned slightly and turned on the cold water.

"Baby?" Edward asked again, and then he was beside me, looking down at the cut. I ignored him completely, my mind still blank and frozen, dread rising within me by the second.

"I'm fine," I muttered as I turned off the water and tore off a paper towel, pressing it against the cut. "It was only small—you surprised me, I didn't hear you come in," I babbled, trying and failing miserably to ignore what I was feeling and his question from only a few minutes before.

He sighed behind me but said nothing. "Bella—"

I cut him off as I turned to the potatoes. "I know you don't like potatoes, but what about baked and crispy ones? I don't think we've ever had those, and I'm in the mood for potato."

"Uh, potato is fine," Edward rushed. "Bella, please, we need to—"

"Later," I interrupted again, my throat constricting again with guilt and pain. I hated this; I hated lying and making him worry but I could not bring myself to speak to him about this.

His reaction unravelled me, it was so unlike him.

"No," he groused, his tone commanding attention. I swallowed and took a deep breath. "We need to talk about this now, Bella. I need to know if you are sick… if this is why you've been acting so strangely this past week. And more than that, I wanna know why you didn't tell me."

"Because it's not me I'm concerned about, it's you!" I shouted, looking at him. He stood immobile in shock as silence rang out in the room. I sighed, a sob building in my throat. I said nothing as the tears welled and spilled down my heated cheeks, and neither of us did anything until the sob finally burst from my chest.

I crumpled, the pain and fear and everything else that I had been feeling this past week, as well as the memory from the godforsaken dream that had started this mess, overwhelming me. I sank to the kitchen floor, my head thumping softly against the kitchen cupboard under the sink as I tried to control myself, all to no avail.

I blinked back the tears and looked up at Edward, who stood watching me, shock, pain, and confusion all there on his face. I reached for him and that seemed to snap him from his trance, as he was in front of me in a heartbeat, pulling me into his arms on the kitchen floor.

I curled in against him, my fingers clenching the fabric of his shirt as I burrowed my face into his neck. He held me tightly, as if he were captured by the same fear that was wreaking havoc on me. He said nothing as I cried; his hold on me and the gentle rocking as he pressed sweet kisses to my head, my hair, my neck, my shoulder—any place he could reach—soothed me

Finally, what felt like years later, I stopped crying… unable to shed another tear.

"Bella," he finally whispered, his voice rasping and hoarse. His left hand moved from my waist to my cheek, and he cupped it lightly. I clenched my eyes closed to dispel the last of the tears, sniffling as I looked up at him.

The redness around his eyes that told me he, too, had silently been crying, was the first thing I saw. My own eyes rimmed with tears again at the sight and I wiped them away quickly. There was nothing I could say as I moved in his lap, cupping his jaw in both of my hands while his moved instinctively to my hips. He held me in place to keep me from going anywhere, and I smiled softly at the feeling as I leaned forward, now straddling him, and kissed him.

It was soft at first… only supposed to comfort and ease the both of us. But Edward had other ideas, it seemed, as his hand moved from my cheek to my hair. He threaded his fingers through it tightly, groaning into the kiss as I deepened it with a whimper.

We snapped.

"Edward," I breathed into the kiss and he moaned again, his hands on my hips, pulling me down over his hardening length. His right hand was now resting on the small of my back as he pushed me down against him, making both of us release breathy sighs, moans, groans.

Our movements, already desperate, became even more so. We gripped tighter, ground harder. Our teeth clashed as we dove for each other, trying to get closer; we pushed, pulled, tugged, clung, our noises becoming less breathy and quiet and more needy and loud…

"Please…" I gasped as he threw my shirt to the side, leaning in again to suck on the pulse point of my neck. I arched in his arms, those arms that were so loving and caring and secure.

I drowned in him.

He pushed slightly and laid me down across the floor as he rid himself of his shirt and dress jacket before pulling off my jeans. I watched him as he fumbled with his dress pants for a few seconds before I knocked his hands out of the way gently and undid them, pulling them down for him. He was over me immediately then, his hands cupping my thighs and dragging them up to wrap around his hips. I interlocked my ankles and wrapped my arms under his to rest on his shoulder blades as he pushed into me.

I cried out as he slowly pushed in until he was buried to the hilt. It was strange, how immediately our desperation lessened into simple need to be close and savour each other. He rocked his hips back and forth sweetly, gently, in slight movements… such a stark contrast to the haste and yanks of the moments before.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear as he started to really thrust. "I love you, Bella," he said as our urgency grew once more with his desperate and pleading words. I relayed the same back to him, but by then words were lost to us as we gyrated against each other. He slammed into me again and again, his hand burying itself in my hair as his other moved to my hip and he quickly flipped us.

I sat up and ran my hands over his chest, looking down at him as I took control, rocking over him. The pleasure was blinding, the coil in me tightening and tightening as I worked myself over him. He played with my clit, moving his hands to my hips to bring me down over him harder and faster, his own sounds echoing mine as they grew louder and more urgent.

"Edward!" I cried as he wrapped his lips around my nipple, pulling me over the edge. I pulsed around him, arching my back as I bit my lip so hard I could taste the rust and salt and metallic of my blood. He gave a few more erratic thrusts into me before he let go with a groan of my name, his lips hard and demanding against mine.

I slumped against him, breaking the kiss as we both panted, shivering and shuddering in the aftershocks, coming back down to earth. I had no idea whether it was this week, today, our love making or a combination of all, but fatigue swept over me. In a matter of minutes, I was slipping into unconsciousness as I was being lifted and carried to what I hoped was the bedroom.

~O~

I woke up beside Edward sometime later. I turned in his arms, a soft smile on my face which lasted only seconds as I remembered what had happened moments before we'd lost ourselves in desperation with one another.

My throat constricted as I remembered the pain I'd seen on Edward's face. I felt tremendously guilty for keeping everything from him, but there was little I could do to fix it now that he knew. I only hoped that when he woke, he would let me explain.

"Stop worrying," the croaky voice of my husband sounded and I blinked, snapping my head around to look up at his face. His eyes were closed, a small frown on his face. He opened an eye and sighed, pulling me closer to him. "I'm not gonna growl at you, but we do need to talk about this," he said, giving me a serious look with his one open eye. "And you can't just ignore it and think it'll go away."

I sighed and nodded, huddling closer to him. "I promise."

"Good," he said, clearing his throat as he sat up. He made no move to get out of bed, instead rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times before he reached for me. He kissed me sweetly but chastely and I realised that he wanted to do this now.

"Uh," I started, figuring that maybe I should just get it all out. "I don't really know how to start…"

"From the beginning," Edward said softly, smiling at me. "What happened that made you think that… that I had cancer?"

I frowned, shaking my head. "I didn't think you had cancer… ok, so maybe I did a little," I amended when he raised an eyebrow at me. "I just… it's really stupid…"

"Bella, nothing that makes you so scared that you feel the need to sneak around my back to research it and… and that keeps you up all night and causes you to withdraw from me could ever be stupid," he said seriously.

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I still felt silly for making such a mountain out of a molehill. I sighed. "So, you know that fear I have?"

He frowned. "You mean the one about Royal North Shore? Where… your dad and 'pa died?"

I nodded.

"Yeah," he said slowly, looking at me.

"Well, I had a dream that I was walking through Royal North Shore," I started. "And I was walking down the hall and then I turned into this room and…" I trailed off, taking a deep breath as my heart and throat constricted as I remembered what I'd seen. Edward: broken, frail, and dying.

Edward rubbed his hands up and down my arms and I leaned against him as I continued again, telling him the rest of my dream. It was hard, considering that Edward dying—and in the RNS at that—was my greatest fear. By the end of it, I was crying and sniffling as Edward held me against his chest. He pressed kisses to my hair and forehead as I tried to calm down by taking deep breaths of his smell.

"Bella," Edward whispered and I pulled back to look up at him. He was frowning as he looked down at me, cupping my cheeks, his eyes pleading and needy as they stared into mine. "Bella, there is nothing wrong with me. I am fine, I swear."

"But—"

Edward shook his head, and I said nothing. "Bella, I swear to you, I will not leave you and you will not lose me. What can I do to make this better? To make you understand that?"

I stopped and thought for a moment. "Well, you could…" I trailed off, biting my lip and looking down at his chest. I drew patterns on it until his hand moved to clasp and halt mine.

"What, love?" Edward prodded gently. "I'll do anything, I swear."

"Go for a check-up?" I asked quietly, hesitantly. "I-I mean, you don't have to, but if you went and they checked you over… you do have a few moles, Edward, and you spent so much time as a kid in the sun… you were a little nipper and everything and you yourself told me that your mum didn't always make you put on sunscreen… I-I just—"

"Done," Edward said, pressing a finger to my lips.

I looked at him, blinking, my mind not understanding what he was saying for a moment.

He smiled down at my confused expression and kissed me softly on the lips once. "Done," he repeated.

I sniffled and smiled, tears flowing down my cheeks again, though relieved they were this time. I kissed him desperately and pushed him back against the mattress, and he chuckled as he let me have my way with him…

TWO MONTHS LATER

I gripped Edward's hand as we waited, nerves clawing at me. Edward rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand and kissed my cheek, his own way of trying to comfort me and get me to calm down.

It didn't really help all that much.

"Edward Cullen," a feminine, clinical voice chirped and Edward and I immediately got up and walked into the doctor's office.

The doctor followed behind us and smiled as she sat down at the desk.

"I'm sorry for making you wait," Doctor Brandon said sweetly.

My smile was tight-lipped and jittery; Edward was the one to answer verbally. "That's fine," he said quietly. "Thank you for seeing us today."

Doctor Brandon shrugged. "Well, the results are in," she said, opening Edward's file.

My heart lurched in my chest and I gripped Edward's hand tighter. "And?" I prodded, leaning forward.

She smiled at the both of us. "The mole was benign," she said pleasantly. "You're cancer free, Mr Cullen."

I released the breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. "Thank you," I whispered fervently to her and she nodded, getting up from her seat as I turned to face Edward.

He was smiling. "I told you not to worry, didn't I?"

I ignored him, sweet relief only letting me say a few words. "You're cancer free," I cried. "You're fine."

"Nah," he said, leaning in to kiss me on the lips as he rested a hand on my abdomen, against the child we'd created that night two months ago, growing in my womb. "I'm absolutely perfect."

See? I told you everything would be fine!

But, yeah. So that's it. I have absolutely no plan to write anymore for this - not even another chapter. I love this ending just as it is and I really can't see what would add to it.

I hope it lived up to standard, and I hope you all liked it as much as I loved writing it!

Thanks and please review and tell me what you thought,

bexie25