Ok, for those of you who are reading this, saying "Oh, come on, Shimmerfur hasn't updated Rescue dog in months!" I'm sorry, I recently got into Sgt. Frog/ Keroro Gunsou, and I have a major writer's block for ideas. So, um, there it is, folks. I also don't own Sgt. Frog.

Garuru had a secret. A terrible, embarrassing secret. If his platoon-mates ever found out, he would probably leave the Keronian Army and run away to Pekopon and live under a rock for the rest of his days. Garuru… liked to sing. And not in a manly, sexy, heart-breaker way. In an… a-HEM, rather girly way. He would take one of the spoons from the kitchen drawer when nobody was looking, and then he would turn up the purple iPod that Giroro gave him for Christmas in his sound-proofed room, and sing. He particularly liked songs such as Little Mix's DNA, and Demi Lovato's Gift of a Friend. He was pretty good at it, too. It helped him to relax and forget about the stressors of being the leader of a platoon of cyborg ninja-assassins, insane snack-obsessed hackers, giggling idiots with crazy eye-beams, and old-age-dreading Chief Medics.

Garuru started to sing on the day that the giggling idiot with crazy eye-beams, named Taruru, decided to pull the "ultimate" prank in the prank-war he and the insane snack-obsessed hacker, named Tororo, had been having. ALL WEEK. It was cute at first, but Taruru had decided that Tororo had gone too far when he switched the blue frog's spray cheese labels with Garuru's shaving cream can labels and then watched, stifling insane giggles, as the oblivious frog ate the sandwich he made… (Hi, Narrator here. I don't really talk much due to the author standing next to me with a Taser. I just wanted to say, who eats spray cheese on a sandwich? Besides blue space-frogs.) ...and spat it out, white foam hanging from his mouth. The tadpole could barely run, due to the bouts of giggles that were attacking him. Garuru, blissfully unaware of the racket outside, was just stepping out of his shower. He grabbed the razor from its rack on the wall, humming to himself. He then grabbed his shaving cream. He removed the cap, (was it always red?) took the nozzle, and… sprayed spray cheese. All. Over. His. Face. "TARURU! TORORO! GET IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM! RIGHT NOW, DAMNIT!"

I'M-LARRY-I'M-THE-DIVIDER!

Garuru had both lectured them soundly, uncharacteristic amounts of swearing peppering the angry purple chui's speech. Tororo had sworn to not pull anymore pranks on the Private First-class. Taruru, however, made no such promise, though he had told the purple demon-frog he would refrain from pulling any pranks that affected the other platoon members.

That was on a Monday. Taruru had kept his promise for a whole day, until Wednesday. On Wednesday morning, Taruru had entered the ship's "Mess Hall", and proudly announced: "Guess what day it is? HUMP DAY!" This statement was greeted by silence. Then… "Pu. Pu PU. PU PU PU PUUU~!" Tororo began to giggle hysterically. Zoruru, the assassin, blushed slightly under his mask. Garuru stood stunned in the doorway, having entered the room just in time to hear Taruru's proclamation that today was 'Hump day', Pururu stood next to him, looking equally stunned, at first wondering why her commanding officer had halted in the doorway, then it dawned on her that Garuru had just muttered "Hump day?" under his breath. Taruru, having caused (Possibly not-so-accidental) sexual innuendo, laughed along with the salmon-colored tadpole, both now rolling around on the floor, Tororo's tears of laughter streaming down his face. Little did the platoon know, it was all part of Taruru's plan. (It is? I mean, I'm reading the script, and- OK, OK, I GET IT, PUT THE TASER DOWN!)

Later that day, Taruru approached Tororo. "Hey Tororo!" "What the hell do you want?" "Guess what today is!" Tororo sighed. "Taruru, we already went through this. It's Hump Day. I know. Now, fuck off." "Tororo, it's HUMP day." Tororo sighed. "Your point being?" "Let's honor the name!"

Tororo screamed like a girl. For the next hour and a half, Taruru chased him around the ship, Tororo screaming, "HELP! TARURU'S TRYING TO FUCKING RAPE ME!" the entire time, preventing the rest of the platoon from working, thus pissing his commanding officer off immensely.

That was why Garuru took up singing. The stress of the last two pranks, and having his commanding officer back at the HQ berate him for turning his paperwork in late pushed him to his brink, then past it. That night, Garuru turned on his iPod to Shuffle, and it began to play 'Seasons of Love' from the play 'RENT', a song that Garuru liked as a kid, and therefore knew the words to quite well. He began to sing along, and he felt the stress melt away. So, whenever he felt stressed from then on, he would sing, and he always felt better, but he feared discovery.

Garuru was currently in his room, his iPod on, singing along to 'Rocketeer' by Far East Movement. "Here we go, come with me, there's a world out there that we should see, take my hand, close your eyes, with you right here I'm a rocketeer…" Knock, knock. Garuru spun around as soon as he heard the hiss of his door opening. He had forgotten to lock it. Taruru poked his head in. "Hey, Garuru Chui, I-" Taruru stopped abruptly. Then he turned and ran down the hall, yelling, "Guys! GUYS! Guess what I just saw Garuru Chui doing!" Garuru face-palmed. Motherfucking hell.

And… there it is. This disturbing piece of shit came from my mind. That's scary. I might do a series of random one-shots. Maybe. SHIMMERFUR OUT, BITCHES!