Once it became clear that their mother had shared as much as she was inclined to for the evening, the little gathering fell into a round of random chatter. Debates sprang up between the boys about what made for the best gifts. Even Edward joined in the conversation, though Emmett felt that books of any nature were about as exciting as socks; an opinion he raucously shared.

Good-natured teasing, jokes, and laughter filled the room with a warmth that only comes from spending time with loved ones, but in the middle of yet another debate with Emmett, Jasper's mood took a downward turn.

Leaving the conversation, the soldier moved to where his mate had separated herself from the activity to sort through the presents under the tree. Slipping behind her, the gallant youth wrapped his arms around his petite wife's slender waist while nuzzling her neck.

"What's wrong, hummingbird? You seemed to have been having a good time. What changed?"

"Nothing, Jazzy. Everything is fine." The pixie smiled while entwining the fingers of her hand through Jasper's as she continued to distract herself.

Pulling her around to face him, the Major raised a brow as he cocked his head to the side.

"I know you better than anyone, sweet Alice. There certainly is something wrong, darlin', and I want to make it right, but I can't help if you won't tell me what's going on. I want to help."

Cradling his cheek, Alice stood on tip toe and silenced Jasper with a passionate kiss. Drawing back, she stared into his glittering eyes and smiled sweetly, while a faint sadness still marred her fair features.

"I know that you do, Jazzy, but there isn't anything that you can do. Everything really is alright. I was just feeling a little..." She halted as she searched for the right word before settling on a simple explanation. "Oh, I guess I'm just feeling a little left out, that's all."

"Left out?" Jasper pulled further away while his brows knitted in confusion. "No one would leave you out, baby. This is a family affair, after all."

Alice sighed as she lay her cheek against her mate's chest and absorbed the comfort provided by his embrace, before whispering so softly that only he could hear, "I'm not being left out by design. I feel left out because I don't have anything to share. I don't have any memories from my childhood like the rest of you. I know that most memories are sketchy as it is because of the transformation, but all of you still retain memories that are tied to strong emotions. I have none of that. I know that I must have happy memories, or even sad ones, but it's all blank. It's like I didn't even exist before I became this. Usually it doesn't bother me much, but I just feel like I should have memories from something as important as holidays."

Lifting her head, she looked into his concerned topaz eyes.

"What was my favorite present? What tradition did my family have? Did we have a fireplace for me to hang a stocking from, or a tree in the living room to put presents under? What sort of decorations did my parents put out, or were they not even into Christmas at all? Maybe we were Jewish. I don't know anything, Jazz, but I think that I should. There has to be something that I experienced as a child, but it's all gone and I don't like feeling left out. I'm just not good at it."

"You don't have to feel left out, Alice," Rosalie chimed in as she joined her sister to escape Edward and Emmett's book debate. "We never wanted to make you feel left out. You can always tell us about the first Christmas you and Jasper shared before you found us."

Alice shook her head as the lights from the tree reflected in her eyes. "That doesn't feel the same as the stories that have been shared this evening. There's history in your tales of past holidays that's just lacking in mine."

"Alice, what we have together is history," Jasper pointed out. "Sure, it might not be ancient history like Papa, but it's still something that we shared and memories that we created."

"I know, Jazzy, but still..."

The soldier distractedly ran his hand through his hair as he mulled the situation over. He couldn't stand the idea of his wife being sad, and knew that he had to do something to remedy the situation. Jasper's tawny eyes suddenly narrowed as an idea came to him.

Taking one of her tiny hands between his, the Major gazed lovingly into his mate's face.

"Hummingbird, what if I help you find out more about your history? We can start with one of those ancestry sites, get some names and locations, and go from there. Public records and the like should be able to help. We might even come across some pictures that could ring a bell. You never know what might spark a memory. Everything that was ever lost is still somewhere just waiting to be found."

There was no mistaking the sincerity in Jasper's eyes, and Alice found herself quickly accepting his offer.

"I would like that, Jazzy. I really would," she softly replied. "But, what if it doesn't work? What if there is no trace of my history to be found?"

Jasper's lips suddenly drew up in a cocky half smile as he continued to hold his wife's gaze.

"There is a very simple solution to that problem, hummingbird. If we really can't awaken any memories, we'll just have to work a little harder to make news ones. If we do it right, you'll find that you never needed those old ones anyway, and I can think of a great way to start."

The soldier suddenly dipped Alice back in his arms as he claimed her lips; gently at first, but with more urgency as his passion for her flared. When finally he reluctantly pulled away, a quick check of her emotions found them very different from her recent sadness, but he still sensed some lingering doubt in his pixie lover.

"Alice, darlin', we have forever ahead of us. We have a wonderful family that cares for us, and who are more than happy to help you build the fondest of memories of Christmas and beyond. I know that nineteen years is a good size chunk of time to lose in a normal lifespan, but for us, it's nothing more than a blink of an eye. I promise you, hummingbird, I'm going to see to it that you have more memories than you can handle, and each one will be as sweet as you."

Leaning back in, he kissed her cheek then nipped at her earlobe and softly growled as he whispered, "Now what do you say about going upstairs with me so I can begin to fill up those empty places for you, ma'am? I'm still not sure that you will want to share these memories at our next family gathering, but we can certainly keep 'em for ourselves."

"And me," Edward grumbled while he plinked at the piano keys in an attempt to distract himself from the thoughts circling through his brother's head. "You know, I seriously wouldn't mind being left in the dark about the things that you do when you're alone."

"Oh, hold on a minute there. What's this now?" Emmett perked up upon hearing Edward's discomfort. "Is someone in for a special little Christmas treat?" The bruin waggled his brows as a brilliant grin bloomed across his face.

"This something ain't all that little, brother." Jasper returned the grin in kind while hugging Alice tightly against his body.

"Oh for God's sake, Jasper! Too much sharing. Just stop, and if you really can't control yourselves for one evening, could you please, at the very least, take it outside? Have some consideration for the rest of us. That would be the greatest gift in my world."

"Eddie, you know what you need? Dude, go find yourself an elfish one night stand or something to take the edge off. You know, I hear that the pros give special holiday rates for the lonely hearts. Go have the old pipes cleaned out and you won't get nearly as uptight about the rest of us getting down with it. Seriously, you've got to loosen up, bro. I mean, if you don't think Rose is going to be taking a trip along Santa's North Po..."

"Emmett!"

"Emmett Dale, that is quite enough," Esme reprimanded sharply before the boy's colorful descriptions could cause Edward any more distress. "Can't you behave yourself for a single night?"

"I am behaving, Momma. All I was doing was offering little Eddie some big brotherly advice. I thought that was what good brothers do."

Edward rubbed a hand over his face as he groaned loudly, while Esme closed her eyes and shook her head sadly.

At the outer edge of the growing debate, Jasper caught Alice's hand and pulled her up while he encouraged her to accompany him upstairs. They had nearly made it to the steps when an odd look crossed her face.

"I think I would rather take a walk. Some fresh night air and romance under the stars sounds like just the thing to cheer me up, but before we go, I need to give Momma something."

Alice slipped from of her lover's grasp and returned to the tree. Rifling through the packages, the pixie came across a green and silver wrapped box sporting a dark green velvet bow. An enchanting smile lit up the girl's face before she skipped over to her mother and handed Esme the package while giving her father a little wink.

"What's that?" Carlisle inquired, with a touch of concern coloring his tone.

"Just a gift from Carmen and Eleazar," Alice chirped as she bounced on her toes.

Slightly confused by her mood swing, but pleased to see her happy, Jasper caught his mate's hand and pulled her back towards him until he was able to wrap her in his arms.

"I can wait until tomorrow to open it with the rest of the gifts," Esme said, even as she shook the box to hear a hard thump resound from inside.

"No. You have to open it now," the seer commanded with a nod.

"Is it something that will spoil?" Esme looked at her daughter in complete confusion.

"Just open it," the girl encouraged as she grew more and more impatient. "This will be fun. Trust me. I've seen it already."

Once again, Alice's focus switched from her mother to her father before she giggled happily.

Carlisle cocked a brow. "Why do I get the feeling it's something that is going to explode in my face?"

"Nothing like that at all, Daddy. It's a fantastic gift that will bring both of you a lot of really great adventures."

Between the boundless energy emanating from Alice and her sudden giddiness, Jasper felt a rush of joy. This was what every holiday should feel like. Happy, carefree, and just plain fun while being surrounded by the ones you love.

His human memory was certainly his best Christmas when he was a different person, but every Christmas that he had spent with his mate and their family contained a plethora of memories greater than any of the others he may have held onto. It was during the holidays more than any other time of the year that Jasper could say he really felt at home, and that was a feeling that he wouldn't trade for all the world.

The chant of "rip it" from his mate drew his attention back to the scene unfolding before him. His siblings had set aside their playful banter for a few moments to find out what all the fuss was about and all eyes were focused on their mother.

Esme slowly worked the tape free as her daughter sighed in exasperation.

"The paper is too pretty to tear. We should save it to reuse," the matriarch commented while she continued the painfully slow process of unearthing her present.

"As if you're ever going to do that, Momma. Just open it," Alice encouraged.

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Esme took the time to fold up the paper before popping open the box. Sifting through the tissue, a curious expression crossed her features as she withdrew a set of books from the package.

"Books? All of this build up was for a couple of books? See, Eddie," Emmett groused while delivering a glancing punch to his brother's upper arm. "Now do you get how lame of a gift that is?"

Edward shoved the bruin away, but remained quiet and began to smirk as he scanned his mother's mind.

"What is it, honey?" Carlisle asked.

"Apparently it's some fictional series," she answered while turning one of the books over to read the synopsis. "Fifty Shades of..."

"Oh, hell no. I can't believe he went through with that. Esme, give those to me," the patriarch demanded while holding his hand out expectantly.

"I'll do no such thing, Carlisle Cullen. This gift was labeled for me," came her sprightly reply as she held the novel just out of her husband's reach. "Besides, this sounds like a very interesting read."

"It could have used some better editing, but it's good for glossing some ideas from," Rosalie remarked as she absently checked her nails, before the feeling of being stared at caused her to glance up. "What, Emmy?"

"How... When did you...?"

"Oh, please. You remember our last honeymoon in Tahiti?"

"Yeah, but what does... OH." Emmett's eyes widened as the pieces fell into place.

"There you go."

"Oh, damn, Pops. Merry Christmas to you."

Carlisle rolled his eyes while he made another unsuccessful grab for the book in his mate's hand.

"Momma, if you want any tips, Jazz and I have some other books you can read and a few toys you can try out, too," Alice helpfully offered.

Carlisle's eyes darkened a shade as he caught his southern son's eye. "Is this some sort of conspiracy that the two of you worked out with Eleazar as a means of getting even with me?"

Jasper took a step back as he held his hands up before him.

"No, sir. I had no idea this was happening, but I don't think it's a bad idea at all if you'll just give it a try. In fact, if you let Momma take the lead, I think you'll find out just how much fun the bedroom can really be."

"Oh, dear God! I can't unsee that. Jasper, why? Why would you think that?" Edward's bellyaching caused the entire group, including Carlisle, to break down in a fit of laughter.

"Don't want to see it? Then don't be picking around in my thoughts. Serves you right, Edward. Just think of that as a mental version of coal and switches for your naughty behavior." Jasper grinned at his mind reading brother before scooping his wife up in his arms. "And as for you, ma'am, I do think that a midnight stroll is most certainly in order. I have the feeling that things are going to get much more heated in here, so let's go chill on our own for awhile."

With Emmett's hearty laughter ringing through the house as Esme continued her impromptu game of keep away with Carlisle, Jasper carried Alice down to the river before placing her tiny booted feet gently on the snow dusted ground.

"You know, Jazz, I don't think I need those memories after all. That's probably why I've forgotten them. There's really no point in living in the past, and I can't think of a memory that would be able to top tonight's anyway."

"And the night's not over yet, lil' darlin'. There's a pretty secluded spot a little north from here where we can catch a glimpse of the Northern Lights. What do you say to seeing if we can find a way to out shine 'em?"

With a musical giggle, Alice slipped her hand into Jasper's and allowed him to lead her through the woods, knowing in her heart that this was her best Christmas ever.

FINI

AN: Thank you all for taking this trip down Cullen memory lane with me. Hope it was enjoyable. I have to admit that I had fun with it.

Special thanks to my betas, Splinter, Jasper1863Hale, and edwardian1901, without whom I would not be able to do these things. I would also like to thank my fabulous moral support team of rubyblue100 and Cullen1007. All of you guys are just the greatest. And finally, a HUGE thanks to all of my readers who have made this year in Cullen world so rewarding. Hope everyone has a safe and extremely happy New Year.