Chapter 5 - Surveillance and rabid dogs

Adriana glanced at the clock on the nightstand, shook her head and got out of bed. It was only three in the morning but she had to do something; she couldn't just lie around and wait for the rest of the night. Her footsteps were light, making no sound in the eerily quiet apartment as she walked over to John, grabbing his prosthetic leg on the way and carefully placing it on the edge of his bed before sitting on top of the man with her knees pressed against the sides of his hips.

The man opened his eyes but he wasn't fully awake yet since he was blinking quickly before turning to look at the clock. They didn't have much time so Adriana placed a hand on the side of his neck, her thumb running along his jawline before she kissed him. John froze for a second but for some reason he kissed her back and his fingers instinctively ran up her spine until she gently bit his lip. "Stop it," she whispered into his ear.

"You started it," he mumbled against her neck.

"We have a problem, John."

"I'm sure it can wait."

John didn't stop but he was probably too tired to think clearly. Or he thought he was still asleep and it was nothing more but a dream. She also knew he was a man and they were almost all the same when it came to sex. "I'm serious," she tried again, this time grabbing the side of his face to make him look at her. For a second she thought he understood it, but then his lips turned into a weird smile and his fingers found the worst possible spot on her body. "Oh, God, stop that," she breathed with a quiet moan.

"You don't want me to stop."

He kissed her again and for a second Adriana thought about giving in to him. After all, he was handsome and she knew he was just as turned on as she was. But she couldn't do it. It wasn't the right time and even though she loved the taste of his lips, she shook her head.

"Yes, I do want you to stop, John," she insisted. "Do you have a gun?"

At least the word 'gun' seemed to work because he finally looked her in the eye. "What?"

"Do you have a gun somewhere near your bed?"

"Right under the nightstand," he replied. "Why?"

"Is that the only one?"

"I have another one fastened to the bottom of the bed." His voice was now serious and she knew he was finally listening to her. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Just play along, okay?"

"No, that's not okay. What happened?"

Adriana looked into the detective's hazel eyes, her fingers playing with his hair as she leaned down enough to rest her forehead against his. "I settled surveillance cameras on the hallway and another two or three on the windows. They are here for me but there was no other way I could warn you without them noticing," she explained quietly.

"God, Adriana, I'm sure it was only a bad dream, go back to sleep."

"John."

"I'm not starting this conversation, alright?"

"Please, believe me."

Before John could say anything in response an alarm went off, emitting a high-pitched sound that made him turn his head towards the door. "What the hell is that?"

"A highly sensitive shock and motion sensor I activated before I came out of my room. They are about to come in through that door so do you believe me now?" she asked angrily as she jumped down on the floor next to the bed. "Leg's on your right, I'll get the guns," she added before she disappeared.

Pushing one of the guns towards her feet so John could pick it up as soon as he followed her, Adriana crawled to the other side of the bed and aimed at the leg of one of the intruders. The man yelled in pain and stumbled back, while the other hid behind a wall close to him. After moving back to John, she quickly agreed with the detective that he would cover her while she went to take down both of them from another part of the apartment.

It was an instinct, something her body did almost automatically after all those years of training. John shot one of the men and she took this chance to fire at his neck, watching as the bullet went through it, leaving a bloody hole behind before his body fell to the ground. After that she used the moment when the other one aimed at John to sneak behind him. She covered his mouth and shot him in the back of his head twice.

They were dead. Both of them. This is what she had been running from, the dead bodies of those she used to work with. Once again she was the reason why they died, while blood, their own blood surrounded their bodies. She couldn't take it. This isn't what she wanted, it was too much.

Dropping to her knees she glanced at her blood covered hands then right at her gun. "It's me," she whispered. "I'm a rabid dog. I should be the one lying there. It's all my fault, I put everyone in danger. It would be better for everyone if I just gave up."

With shaking hands, Adriana picked up the gun and pointed it at herself. All she had to do was pulling the trigger. She couldn't waste time hesitating.

"Hey," John said as he walked over to her. "What the hell are you doing?" She didn't answer only raised the gun a bit and pointed it at her mouth. "Jesus, Adriana, give me that fucking gun!" John was now shouting but she ignored him. He almost died because of her. It wasn't fair. The detective crouched in front of her and tried to look her in the eye. Of course, she was avoiding his gaze. "Look at me," he said forcefully. When she finally did he went on, "Give me the gun, please. I have no idea what's wrong with you but I can help."

"No one can help," she said.

"What about your friend?" he tried. "The one who got you out of the institute?"

Adriana's lips turned into a barely visible smile. "They would kill Kenneth for helping me. I can't do this to him, John." The man slowly reached out for the weapon but she gripped it so tightly all he could do was putting his hand on hers. "It's over, there's no way out. Look at me, their blood spilled all over me and I don't think I can ever wash it off. It's all my fault."

She couldn't stop the tears but this way at least John could take the gun out of her hand. After he placed it safely on the floor next to him, John pulled her into a hug. "Come on, let's go to the bathroom and clean you up, okay?" Adriana nodded weakly and let him help her up. "The others will be here soon."

He sat her in the shower, letting cold water pour on both of them as he occupied the empty space next to her. Pulling up her knees she glanced at the detective whose green eyes were staring at her. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"Why are you helping me?" she asked as she tried to wash off the blood from her hands. "You hate me after all."

John let out a sigh and pulled her into a hug. Adriana couldn't believe he did something like this but what he said after this gentle move was even more shocking. "I don't hate you, I just don't understand what's wrong with you."

"How do you think I became a lieutenant colonel at my age?"

"I don't know, you were good?" he asked quietly.

Adriana shook her head. "They drugged us, it worked perfectly on me and I was the one who took down the rabid dogs," she explained.

"Rabid dogs?"

Oh, yes, he had no idea what she was talking about. For her it was natural and she was used to talking to people who knew these terms. "All my comrades who got out of control," Adriana replied in the end.

John pulled her close, probably sensing that she was slowly breaking down. "If I asked you about those drugs, would you tell me the truth?"

Would she? Would he understand that she normally wasn't so crazy, at least not in the way he thought? Not like there was a chance she could leave without an explanation and for the first time in who knows how long she started to feel safe. It was crazy, that the very person she felt safe with was none other than John Kennex. He helped her so the least she could do for now was being honest.

"They chose some of us for our mental disorders," she started quietly, "I'm bipolar and they told me they can help with that. It turned out later that this medication helped by temporarily wiping out our emotions. Basically, they created controllable psychopaths."

John looked down at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Temporarily?"

"Yeah, it wore off after a while and we didn't get any unless it was a training session or a mission. Between those times our disorders often got worse and we needed our original medication. Do you know what it feels like to realize you killed your friends? You remember everything, but you didn't feel remorse at the time. And then it crashes down on you, breaks you and it becomes unbearable."

"You had enough?"

Adriana nodded in response. "There was some kind of an exchange program with the British SAS and I met a guy, Kenneth, who was shocked when he found out. Ever since then he tries to help me because I want to put that project to an end."

"So you're like a female Jason Bourne," John noted with a short laugh.

"What?"

"That's a movie my dad loved and made me watch as a kid," he explained immediately, "then I ended up reading the books. It's pretty cool, actually." Her confused expression didn't change so John only waved his hand. "Never mind, you'll understand after you saw it."

"I don't want to watch it."

"I'll make you, even tying you on the couch if there's no other way," he said seriously and she suddenly laughed. "Hey, you laughed. That's good."

"John?" Dorian asked after he appeared in the door. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

Adriana looked up, forcing a weak smile on her face when she looked at Dorian, but the next person who showed up was the brunette. She didn't look very pleased. At the moment, though, she couldn't care less about her feelings.

Thanks for reading! Uhm... I guess after the last few days I'm way too tired to write a proper author's note, sorry. I hope you all had a good time :)