Chapter 5…..
It was Fishlegs' turn to dare.
"I dare Snotlout," he announced.
"Why me?" asked Snotlout.
"Isn't it obvious he doesn't want you to get revenge for your last round so he's daring you so you cant," said Ruffnut.
"Oh, you're smarter, I think Fishlegs and you are spending a little too much time together," said Snotlout.
"Ssh. Anyway, I dare you to sneak over to outcast island and chop off alvin's beard."
"WHAT! But a Vikings beard is his pride. Doing this could provoke war," tried Snotlout.
"But we're already at war," pointed out hiccup.
After a pause, "You really hate me, don't you."
Later that night…
Snotlout crept into the bedroom of Alvin the Treacherous. He drew the dagger and shaved off the man's beard. As he left the man began to stir.
"What?" murmured Alvin.
Snotlout ran just in time to hear Alvin yell in outrage as he realized his beard had been cut off. He hopped on Hookfang and flew back to berk quicker than what should have been possible.
The next day…
The teens sat at their table in the great hall for breakfast.
"Did you do it?" asked Fishlegs.
"Yes. And FYI I left one of Meatlug's baby teeth and a few of her scales, just so Alvin knows who was responsible," replied Snotlout.
"Anyways Snotlout what's your dare?" asked hiccup, he was about to regret asking.
"Well I'm planning on having my first kiss with Odette soon and since unlike ruff and legs your fist kiss had nothing to do with a dare, I dare you to tell me about your first kiss hiccup," said Snotlout.
Hiccup blushed, "Um Snotlout, I'm not sure that's gonna help."
"Oh come on, it was with Astrid right?"
"Yeah, but~"
"But nothing, you married her and I wanna marry Odette."
"Fine, but I'll have to give you some advice cause believe me when I say that after you've heard the story you'll know why, okay."
"okay."
"Well….."
we see a 3 year old hiccup and Astrid walking through the forest together. Suddenly hiccup does a very hiccup like thing and trips over a tree root, a nearby branch of thorns cuts his lip.
"Ow," he mumbles as Astrid helps him up.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replies.
"Your lip~"
"Is fine, Astrid."
"No its not," and to prove her point she touches it, he hisses in pain.
"Here," she says, "I'll kiss it better for you."
And then the two share their first kiss…
"Wait, so your first kiss was when you were 3?!" asked Snotlout incredulously.
"Yeah, but my advice would be to take her on a romantic flight, that's the first time she kissed me on the cheek after her innocent-child phase," said hiccup.
"Good, so what's your dare?" asked Snotlout.
"Tuffnut," said hiccup.
"Why me?" whined Tuffnut.
"Because ever since your last dare Dagur's been sending me weird messages, do you have any idea how hard it is to drill into a berserkers head that you're a: married and b: just not interested?"
"Fine, what's the dare?"
"You're dare is to dunk a barrel of yak milk on my father and Gobber, and it has to be done by tomorrow night at latest, or else that'll mean that you've forfeited the round, and if you forfeit again you'll be out since you already have 1 strike," said hiccup.
"Fine," sighed Tuffnut in defeat.
He spent the rest of the day milking the yaks on his family farm till he had enough for 2 barrels. At last it was night fall. Tuffnut waited on the roof of the great hall, barrels ready. He caught glimpse of his prize, and what luck. The chief and Gobber were walking to the great hall together. He waited till they were 2 steps away then lifted the lid off one barrel, incase he missed. The result was instantaneous. There were yells, shouts but when he looked down he realized he'd accidentally hit the wrong people, instead he'd managed to .
"TUFFNUT!" yelled hiccup and Astrid at the top of their lungs.
Not letting the opportunity go to waste Tuffnut threw the other barrel at Stoick and Gobber getting startled cries of "Ei" from them.
He ran into the hall and took a seat with the others. A few seconds later a wet Astrid ran into the hall with her axe, a truly terrifying sight.
"Where is he?!" she yelled.
She spotted him. He jumped up and ran. She chased him round the great hall, destroying everything standing in her way.
Hiccup, also wet, sat down and watched his wife with an amused expression.
"Um hiccup why are you wet?" asked Fishlegs.
"Tuffnut got us with yak milk, he got Gobber and dad while people were wondering how we got soaked," replied hiccup.
"Oh, so that's why Astrid's chasing him," said Snotlout.
"Yup," said hiccup.
He watched as Astrid threw her axe away and tackled Tuffnut, beating him to a pulp. They came back after a few minutes, Tuffnut sporting purple bruises across his face as well as a broken tooth, Astrid sporting a worn out right hand.
"Okay, tuff's turn."
"I dare Ruffnut to steal the clothes of all our dads when they go to springs tomorrow," said Tuffnut.
The teens broke into hysterical fits of laughter.
"What!?" exclaimed Ruffnut.
"You heard me sunshine," said Tuffnut.
"Fine," grumbled Ruffnut.
The next day…
"I've got them," announced Ruffnut running back from the springs with the clothes of all their fathers, as well as the towels, after all if she had to do something she may as well do it right, right?
The teens cheered for her.
"Now for the good part," said hiccup.
He and the teens went to the watch tower and Fishlegs blew the battle horn.
The response was instantaneous. The villagers ran out of their homes to the village square, awaiting their chief's command. Suddenly a villager shouted,
"invaders!" pointing at the bush.
"Where?" the men leaped out of the bush.
Several men dropped their weapons as in shock and horror as the village looked at the 5 men who were stark naked. Hands shot over the eyes of the young, while the teens were noiselessly laughing.
"Stoick! Olaf! Accel! Garber! Spitelout! This is no time to be streaking!" shrieked Gobber.
The 5 men blushed and ran back into the bushes.
Gobber looked at the horizon, "No ships," he muttered thinking 'hiccup and his friends must really hate their dads and the innocence of little kids,' , "It was a false alarm."
The villagers all nodded dumbly and walked back to their huts, hands still over their kids eyes.
At dinner…..
"okay Ruffnut, its your turn," said hiccup.
"I dare Fishlegs," she announced.
"Why?" asked Fishlegs.
"Cause you haven't been dared this week, also since nothing this week had amused me enough I have decided that tomorrow, since our whole island is going to the bonfire you shall dress up as a Hawaiian girl and do the hula," announced Ruffnut.
The other teens burst out laughing.
"Why me?" asked Fishlegs.
"Cause I said so," said Ruffnut.
The next night…..
The Vikings were all sitting round the fire in merriment, enjoying drinks, talking eating, arm-wrestling. Bonfire night was supposed to be a night about appreciating those around you, making friends and having a strong sense of tribal belonging. It was held on the last day of every month, except for December, that was when they celebrated new year. Suddenly Fishlegs walked in, and if you have ever seen a 300 pound blonde boy wearing nothing but a grass skirt, magenta bandeau, hibiscus in his hair, with a garland of daisies holding a Ukulele then you know how hard the hooligans laughed at him. Blushing furiously he began to sing the song hiccup had written him:
A pretty little hula girl like me
Needs strong Viking men like you
To hold, protect and cherish me
Hooligans I love you
*Clonk*
he was wacked upside the head by his dad with a frying pan sending him into the world of the unconscious while all the Vikings laughed so hard it was a miracle they didn't break.
So, what'd ya think. Btw thnx to awesomebri66 for reminding me about this story. The rest of you, USELESS!
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-httyd4eva
peace out yo;)
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