Walking Back

Episode 10: Pretty Much Dead Already

"Were these your step mother's things?" Rick asked as they investigated Hershel's disappearance later that day. Beth lay catatonic in the recovery room downstairs.

"He was so convinced she'd get better and they'd pick up where they left off." Maggie said quietly, stroking a sweater that was half packed. Daryl tossed a flask to him from across the room.

"Looks like he found an old friend." The redneck commented. Maggie reached out to touch it and Rick handed the flask over to her.

"It used to be my grandfather's. Dad gave up drinkin' before I was born, didn't even allow liquor in the house." She told them, stroking it with nostalgia. Rick asked her about the bar in town. "Hatlin's, he practically lived there in his drinkin' days." She told him, looking up.

"Then that's where we'll find him." Rick assured her before turning to his partner. "Daryl, you'll keep an eye on things?" He asked, replacing the items he'd examined back into their box. Daryl hummed positively in response.

"I remember seeing it, I'll take you." Glenn spoke up as Rick started for the door.

"Glenn, No!" Maggie cried rushing over to him. The young man rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"I'll be fine, it'll be an easy run." He promised. She didn't look so certain.

"Like the Pharmacy?!" Maggie demanded. Daryl and Rick left the couple in the room to sort it out alone. Lori was waiting for them in the hall.

"Rick, you want to have a conversation about this before you leave?" She demanded chasing after him as he strode determinedly down the hall away from her.

"There's nothing to discuss." He answered curtly as he navigated through the farmhouse. "It might not be the best time for me to leave—" He began.

"You think?!" She screeched, nearly hysterical, but he continued on as if she hadn't spoken.

"But after what he did for Carl, preventing Hershel from getting himself killed is the least I can do." He told her. She was silent for a moment and he almost believed they could leave it like that.

"…Carl told Sophia and Duane that he would have shot Carol himself. That's your son getting cold. He's growing up in a world where he needs a father like you alive, around, not running off solving everybody else's problems." Rick stopped and turned to her.

"There is no 'everybody else' those people out there—"He pointed towards where the tents were set up. "—those people are our people, their problems are our problems. Besides, it's not just Hershel's problem I'm trying to solve, or did you forget your own?" She paled. "We need Hershel for the baby. I'm going after him." He told her sternly, leaving her speechless.

Daryl watched Lori fret on the farmhouse porch. He sat on a stump away from camp and angled so he could watch it all as he made some new bolts for his crossbow. They wouldn't fly as true or last as long, but they did the job and sticks were a lot more plentiful. Andrea was on watch while Morgan and T-Dog sorted out the dead heaped in front of the barn. Maggie was sitting with her sister and Dale had offered to help Patricia try and revive Beth. Lori should have been either minding the kids for Amy or preparing the group meal but she was doing neither, fidgeting uselessly on the porch instead.

Daryl had kind of liked the woman before she died. She had been quieter but stronger after they lost the farm. She had known that she had lost Rick's respect and trust, acknowledged that she had a lot to redeem herself for, but she hadn't spun her wheels uselessly like this. The Lori that gave birth to Judith hadn't waffled and simpered and whined. After knowing that Lori, Daryl found this incarnation incredibly aggravating.

Lori had already tried to follow Rick and Glenn in one of the cars and this time she hadn't asked Daryl to do it first. Daryl watched her try again to find the keys to Shane's little Honda, pistol tucked into the back of her jeans. The keys to every motorized vehicle with wheels were weighing his pockets down. She wasn't going to be flipping any cars this go around. Her hunt unsuccessful Lori straightened and looked around spotting him. Daryl heard the car door close as he examined one bolt for defects.

"Moving to the suburbs?" She called with forced levity, walking up to him nonchalantly. He grunted. There was an awkward moment of silence before she continued. "Listen, Beth is in some sort of catatonic shock." She told him needlessly. He'd been there when the girl had collapsed, and when Rick and investigated where Hershel had gone, and when the other man had asked him to watch over camp while he fetched her errant father. With both Hershel and Rick gone people were looking to him and he made sure that nothing went on in camp that he didn't know. "We need Hershel."

"And Rick just left to get him, so what?" He scowled up at her.

"So," She spoke like she was speaking to a small child, "I need you to go into town real quick and bring him and Rick back." Daryl didn't think her demand was worth a response so he returned his attention to the bolt he was making. "Daryl?" She asked again and he huffed.

"Rick is handlin' it, I got better things to do 'n chase after him 'cause ya think he needs his hand held." He told her, annoyed now. He wondered how she could have so little faith in her former husband.

"What's wrong with you?" She demanded. "How can you be so selfish?" Daryl stood abruptly and she stumbled back in surprise. He was fed up with her bullshit.

"Listen Olive Oyl, Rick told me to stay here an' keep an eye on everyone else, unlike you I trust him! So, go back to the house and watch the kids like you were told to! Rick will be back in his own damn time!" She huffed and turned to stalk off. "And give that damn pistol back to Dale!" She gave him a dirty look over her shoulder before stomping back to the farmhouse.

Rick eyed the low hanging sun with trepidation. The streets were quiet, he didn't even see any walkers shambling further down. He hoped they would leave before that changed. He still didn't know what the right call would be to handle Randall and he had no intention of bringing the young man back with them. They had to be gone before the other group rolled into town.

The bell above the door rang as they entered and Rick turned the lock behind them with a decisive gesture. The clack of the deadbolt sliding home nearly echoing in the silence. Glenn glanced back at it nervously but continued up to the arm of the bar Hershel was seated at.

"Glenn?" Rick called, and the Asian man turned to him. "Gather some crates and load them up with the stronger liquors. Start with the Everclear and Moonshine, we can use those as an antiseptic, but don't grab anything under 40 proof, they won't burn." He pulled up a seat next to Hershel. "The cars won't run on booze but we can make lamps that will." He reached over and swiped the bottle from in front of Hershel and slid it down the counter. "How many have you had?" He asked staring ahead.

"Not Enough." The older man told him, nursing his drink.

"Let's finish this up back at the house. Beth collapsed, in some sort of state, probably shock. I think you might be in shock too." Rick suggested, glancing over at him.

"Maggie is with her?" Hershel asked, glass halfway to his to his lips.

"Yes, but she needs you." Hershel scoffed at him.

"What could I do? She needs her mother, or rather, to mourn." He told Rick. "Like she should have done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now." Rick dug deep for the patience to deal with Hershel's pity party.

"You can't blame yourself for having hope." Rick consoled after a long moment.

"Hope?" Hershel laughed humorlessly. When I saw you running across my yard with your boy in your arms I had little hope he'd survive."

"But he did!" Glenn piped up, placing the shotgun from under the bar next to the crate he was filling.

"That was the miracle that proved to me that miracles do exist." The other two men said nothing. "Only it was a sham, a bait and switch." Hershel turned to the former deputy. "I was a fool and you people saw that." He brought the glass back up to his lips. "My girls don't deserve that." He muttered into his glass.

"They don't deserve to be abandoned either." Rick chided. He reached out and steadied the other man when he leapt to his feet.

"Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm! You people are like a plague—!"

"Enough!" Rick snapped. "The world went to Hell long before we met—" Hershel tried to interject with more vitriol but Rick just continued over him "—and I'll not take responsibility for your stubbornness. I'm done, I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you. Do you know what the truth is? Nothing has changed." Rick laughed, a little hysterical. "Death is Death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a Walker, what's the difference?" Rick took a deep breath, his own words resonating in his chest and mind. "You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you?" He asked quietly. Hershel said nothing, just stared at the liquid still in his glass. "There are people back home trying to hang on and they need us, even if it's just for a reason to go on, even if we don't believe there's hope ourselves. It doesn't matter what we believe anymore. It's about them." Rick told the older man before standing up from the barstool. He took one of the two packed crates. Glenn looked between them, uncertain, before jumping the counter. They had just turned to the door with their burdens—Rick's heart was in his throat because they needed Hershel—when they heard the glass slam down on the counter. When Hershel pushed passed them to unlock and open the door Rick felt something in him loosen, he had finally done something right in this timeline. They stepped out and Rick watched the quiet street, expecting the two city men to come strolling around the corner. He wasn't expecting the burst of gunfire somewhere a few streets over. He shoved his crate into the truck bed and pushed Glenn towards the cab.

"We don't want to get tangled into whatever that is." He announced as he slammed the hatch into place and jogged to the driver's seat with his firearm out. He started the truck up and threw it into reverse. A walker came ambling up behind the truck but he didn't stop, just hit the gas and mowed it over. The truck lurched as the body went under the wheels on one side and both Glenn and Hershel braced themselves as Rick changed gears again and sped off into the night.