Chapter 3: Nightmares of what Might Be
Okay here is an attempt to satisfy my readers and add more to this story. Mind you I wrote this at 1 a.m. after I woke up from a terrible dream (warning: this may be dark and morbid). I thought it would suit nicely. I write one for Gollum too. But here we are once again in Frodo's POV where I feel more free to write and express cuz it's hard to write Gollum's thoughts so that they make sense! This chapter alone may be rated PG-13 for the graphic scenes but once again no slash, language, or sexuality, just kinda dark and scary. I had a really bad dream ::shivers:: Alright I'll shut up.
I am alone. I'm walking through these hollow lands. Where am I? This is the shire, but empty, somehow. I feel so alone, what has become of everyone. Has my quest failed? Has it all been in vain? Surely there would be something. But no, and now I wander about these lands that look so much like my home, but they are just an empty shell my home. The sunlight is cold upon my wretched skin. All warmth is lost on me. The coldness only brings home to me the feeling of utter lost loneliness. They have all left me. All of them. Am I the only one left?
The wind whorls and trees sway about me. Everything is like some ghost from a long forgotten past. No true shapes can be made out. My most beloved land is lost on me now. There is no life here now. No sounds touch me ears. The silent deafness of the world pains me, I am not worthy of hearing. A bitter disgust fills me. The feeling that I have done some terrible deed eats away at my mind. What have I done to deserve this wretched torture! My voice is swallowed by this hollow void.
Why have they all abandoned me? What have I done? Sam. Where are you! My voice is so mindless and wretched. As the words escape my lips they form sounds as my mind had not intended. So tainted with the bitter sound of guilty pain as the sounds faded into nothingness about me. Words fell dead at my lips and the wind filled me, only letting me know how incredibly empty and soulless I truly am. Inside me I feel a failing light, flicker and die, and an icy emptiness reside inside my hollow shell.
Before me the road stretches endlessly. There is something in the distance, growing, a vast, dark shadow heaved over the lands. I was frozen. My eyes wide with fear, reflecting pain and emptiness. My mind could not come to understand, why would any creature deserve such lone suffering. What have I done?
The dark shadow took form of a barren wasteland of dust and choked smoke that blotted out the sun. I cowered in remembrance. I have been here. The land, seeming so far away, drew closer now. The road shrunk before me, pulling forward it dragged the land, engulfing everything in its path. It was growing, darkness and shadow eating up the sun and trees. But all was dark and cold in my mind. When the land was upon me it swallowed me, wrapped around me, strangled me. My mind cried out, I wanted to turn and run, find a land of safety where the warmth of a familiar touch would comfort me. But such a feeling was remote, as if it had never been mine to bask in. The warm, comforting touch of a friend to bring me back to sanity and hold me to life. Now I was alive yet dead inside.
The blackness of Mordor surrounded me, a rain of ash engulfed me, choking out pure air. Smoke billowed above me turning the cold gaze of the sun blood red and soon dark, like a shadow. I wrung my hands like some wretched creature and when I looked down at my boney hands, they were covered in blood. I let out a shrill shriek which was devoured by that land and magnified one thousand times, and this was the sound aloud to pain my worthless ears. It echoed again and again and I cried out, my wretched voice ringing in the lands, like some frozen shrill ending on a high note then echoing darkly in some remote place. I put my hands to my ears but an even more wicked sound came to them, the voice of my own mind, hissing and crying out. The last light inside of me was flickering, the last piece of sanity that was aloud to live so that I may experience this torture in its entirety.
I reeled and the dark lands about me swirled and blended. I fell to my knees, grovelling for some salvation. My voice was gone again, the silence worse than the earsplitting sound of my cries. My hands still stained as I tried insanely to wipe them clean. I crumpled into a worthless heap and my dark form was wracked by sobbing.
It was then that in the deepest, darkest moment of my despair that the world decided to stop reeling around me. I looked up as the land melted away. It fell from me and there was nothing left but darkness. Alone in the darkness, left with only a shred of my mind. I opened my eyes and before me was a familiar shape. A form laying in a calm heap, still and peaceful. My hands trembled as I turned the figure over. Quickly I drew my hands close around me, wringing them all the more, and holding them tight to me. I shrieked once more and my screams tormented my ears but it barely phased me. My own screams were considered no torchure to my ears in comparison to what my eyes saw.
Before me lay the body of my dear, most devoted friend, Samwise. His comforting brown eyes now frozen in a state of horror, staring unseeingly up into the darkness. His face contorted in his last moments of horrifying pain, his hands gripping something driven into his heart. It was a sword. Sting! His body was empty, but not like mine. Inside my body resided the dark coldness of wretched despair. All that was left of my dear, loyal Samwise was this broken form staring into the eyes of his murderer. I saw myself reflected in the frozen pools of his glazed eyes. I shook my head in terror. This could not be! But my hands! My hands stained! With his blood! What have I done? Sam! I did not touch him again, I could not. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, wallowing in my own wretchedness, as I sat by the side of my friend's motionless body. I can no longer live with myself. Why? I would never do this.
It was then that I looked up and in Sam's outstretched hand was a small, golden trinket. A golden ring shone, bright and glittering in his palm. But it did not matter. Somehow, nothing mattered. The ring was worthless, now, it meant nothing. It held no power for me. It was just a simple ring. And my most treasured gift, my friendship with Sam, was gone.
I put my hand around Sting's hilt. How could I live like this? I should suffer the same fate for what I have done. I crawled on my hands and knees, my back hunched. I felt like some dark, lost creature. I could look no more into the face of the one I had betrayed. I was the most wicked creature to crawl on the earth. I let go of Sting's hilt and crumbled into a miserable heap on the ground once more. No, not such a simple escape for me.
I should climb into a cave and suffer for hundreds of years without the warmth of sunlight, the comforting touch of a friend, the sparkle of the stars. I should take the ring as a forever remembrance of the terrible deed I had done. Just a dark miserable creature in the deep places of the world with his precious to consume what was left of his mind.
As I reached out a hand to take the ring I was aware of a sound. A sound that would define torment in such a situation. Sam was dead, yet I could still hear him. I put my hands to my ears and cried out but now the only sound was Sam's voice. 'It torments us it does!' Was the thought ringing in my head but still I heard that sweet, gentle voice coaxing me back to reality.
"Mr. Frodo?"
I can't. What will I be without you? What will I do? I can't.
"Mr. Frodo, wake up."
No, Sam. I'm sorry. I couldn't have. Yet, somehow- I did!
"Mr. Frodo? It's time to be waking up, sir. We've got a long ways ahead of us."
Sam? It can't be. But I-
"Mr. Frodo! You need to wake up."
The darkness falls around me leaving me cold and shaken. I must have woken with a scream and jumped up for the next thing I knew I was very dizzy and Sam seemed very dumbstruck. But it was Sam! And he was alive! It took everything I had not to rush to him and embrace him, so much that I fell to my knees trembling and crying.
The next thing I knew was what I had wished for all along. The one thing that I needed to keep me sane. I felt Sam's arms around me, the comforting touch of a friend. I breathed in heavy sobs but did not tell him what I dreamt of. I couldn't. It was too horrible to ever utter again.
When I looked up I saw Gollum watching me from a distance. A cold sadness filled his eyes and I felt a cry well up inside of me. He wrung his hands like a miserable creature and muttered to himself. He looked so pitiful there I couldn't understand why any creature would be forced to live such torment. It was all too much for me to bear. But walking side by side with Sam kept me alive and held me to my quest. I won't let the ring control me. I will never betray you, Sam... at least... I hope not.
Okay here is an attempt to satisfy my readers and add more to this story. Mind you I wrote this at 1 a.m. after I woke up from a terrible dream (warning: this may be dark and morbid). I thought it would suit nicely. I write one for Gollum too. But here we are once again in Frodo's POV where I feel more free to write and express cuz it's hard to write Gollum's thoughts so that they make sense! This chapter alone may be rated PG-13 for the graphic scenes but once again no slash, language, or sexuality, just kinda dark and scary. I had a really bad dream ::shivers:: Alright I'll shut up.
I am alone. I'm walking through these hollow lands. Where am I? This is the shire, but empty, somehow. I feel so alone, what has become of everyone. Has my quest failed? Has it all been in vain? Surely there would be something. But no, and now I wander about these lands that look so much like my home, but they are just an empty shell my home. The sunlight is cold upon my wretched skin. All warmth is lost on me. The coldness only brings home to me the feeling of utter lost loneliness. They have all left me. All of them. Am I the only one left?
The wind whorls and trees sway about me. Everything is like some ghost from a long forgotten past. No true shapes can be made out. My most beloved land is lost on me now. There is no life here now. No sounds touch me ears. The silent deafness of the world pains me, I am not worthy of hearing. A bitter disgust fills me. The feeling that I have done some terrible deed eats away at my mind. What have I done to deserve this wretched torture! My voice is swallowed by this hollow void.
Why have they all abandoned me? What have I done? Sam. Where are you! My voice is so mindless and wretched. As the words escape my lips they form sounds as my mind had not intended. So tainted with the bitter sound of guilty pain as the sounds faded into nothingness about me. Words fell dead at my lips and the wind filled me, only letting me know how incredibly empty and soulless I truly am. Inside me I feel a failing light, flicker and die, and an icy emptiness reside inside my hollow shell.
Before me the road stretches endlessly. There is something in the distance, growing, a vast, dark shadow heaved over the lands. I was frozen. My eyes wide with fear, reflecting pain and emptiness. My mind could not come to understand, why would any creature deserve such lone suffering. What have I done?
The dark shadow took form of a barren wasteland of dust and choked smoke that blotted out the sun. I cowered in remembrance. I have been here. The land, seeming so far away, drew closer now. The road shrunk before me, pulling forward it dragged the land, engulfing everything in its path. It was growing, darkness and shadow eating up the sun and trees. But all was dark and cold in my mind. When the land was upon me it swallowed me, wrapped around me, strangled me. My mind cried out, I wanted to turn and run, find a land of safety where the warmth of a familiar touch would comfort me. But such a feeling was remote, as if it had never been mine to bask in. The warm, comforting touch of a friend to bring me back to sanity and hold me to life. Now I was alive yet dead inside.
The blackness of Mordor surrounded me, a rain of ash engulfed me, choking out pure air. Smoke billowed above me turning the cold gaze of the sun blood red and soon dark, like a shadow. I wrung my hands like some wretched creature and when I looked down at my boney hands, they were covered in blood. I let out a shrill shriek which was devoured by that land and magnified one thousand times, and this was the sound aloud to pain my worthless ears. It echoed again and again and I cried out, my wretched voice ringing in the lands, like some frozen shrill ending on a high note then echoing darkly in some remote place. I put my hands to my ears but an even more wicked sound came to them, the voice of my own mind, hissing and crying out. The last light inside of me was flickering, the last piece of sanity that was aloud to live so that I may experience this torture in its entirety.
I reeled and the dark lands about me swirled and blended. I fell to my knees, grovelling for some salvation. My voice was gone again, the silence worse than the earsplitting sound of my cries. My hands still stained as I tried insanely to wipe them clean. I crumpled into a worthless heap and my dark form was wracked by sobbing.
It was then that in the deepest, darkest moment of my despair that the world decided to stop reeling around me. I looked up as the land melted away. It fell from me and there was nothing left but darkness. Alone in the darkness, left with only a shred of my mind. I opened my eyes and before me was a familiar shape. A form laying in a calm heap, still and peaceful. My hands trembled as I turned the figure over. Quickly I drew my hands close around me, wringing them all the more, and holding them tight to me. I shrieked once more and my screams tormented my ears but it barely phased me. My own screams were considered no torchure to my ears in comparison to what my eyes saw.
Before me lay the body of my dear, most devoted friend, Samwise. His comforting brown eyes now frozen in a state of horror, staring unseeingly up into the darkness. His face contorted in his last moments of horrifying pain, his hands gripping something driven into his heart. It was a sword. Sting! His body was empty, but not like mine. Inside my body resided the dark coldness of wretched despair. All that was left of my dear, loyal Samwise was this broken form staring into the eyes of his murderer. I saw myself reflected in the frozen pools of his glazed eyes. I shook my head in terror. This could not be! But my hands! My hands stained! With his blood! What have I done? Sam! I did not touch him again, I could not. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, wallowing in my own wretchedness, as I sat by the side of my friend's motionless body. I can no longer live with myself. Why? I would never do this.
It was then that I looked up and in Sam's outstretched hand was a small, golden trinket. A golden ring shone, bright and glittering in his palm. But it did not matter. Somehow, nothing mattered. The ring was worthless, now, it meant nothing. It held no power for me. It was just a simple ring. And my most treasured gift, my friendship with Sam, was gone.
I put my hand around Sting's hilt. How could I live like this? I should suffer the same fate for what I have done. I crawled on my hands and knees, my back hunched. I felt like some dark, lost creature. I could look no more into the face of the one I had betrayed. I was the most wicked creature to crawl on the earth. I let go of Sting's hilt and crumbled into a miserable heap on the ground once more. No, not such a simple escape for me.
I should climb into a cave and suffer for hundreds of years without the warmth of sunlight, the comforting touch of a friend, the sparkle of the stars. I should take the ring as a forever remembrance of the terrible deed I had done. Just a dark miserable creature in the deep places of the world with his precious to consume what was left of his mind.
As I reached out a hand to take the ring I was aware of a sound. A sound that would define torment in such a situation. Sam was dead, yet I could still hear him. I put my hands to my ears and cried out but now the only sound was Sam's voice. 'It torments us it does!' Was the thought ringing in my head but still I heard that sweet, gentle voice coaxing me back to reality.
"Mr. Frodo?"
I can't. What will I be without you? What will I do? I can't.
"Mr. Frodo, wake up."
No, Sam. I'm sorry. I couldn't have. Yet, somehow- I did!
"Mr. Frodo? It's time to be waking up, sir. We've got a long ways ahead of us."
Sam? It can't be. But I-
"Mr. Frodo! You need to wake up."
The darkness falls around me leaving me cold and shaken. I must have woken with a scream and jumped up for the next thing I knew I was very dizzy and Sam seemed very dumbstruck. But it was Sam! And he was alive! It took everything I had not to rush to him and embrace him, so much that I fell to my knees trembling and crying.
The next thing I knew was what I had wished for all along. The one thing that I needed to keep me sane. I felt Sam's arms around me, the comforting touch of a friend. I breathed in heavy sobs but did not tell him what I dreamt of. I couldn't. It was too horrible to ever utter again.
When I looked up I saw Gollum watching me from a distance. A cold sadness filled his eyes and I felt a cry well up inside of me. He wrung his hands like a miserable creature and muttered to himself. He looked so pitiful there I couldn't understand why any creature would be forced to live such torment. It was all too much for me to bear. But walking side by side with Sam kept me alive and held me to my quest. I won't let the ring control me. I will never betray you, Sam... at least... I hope not.