"You look good in green, you should wear it more often."

Okay, why are you complimenting me.

"You have a very fair way of teaching, I'm impressed."

That's two in one day. Something strange is going on.

"Would you like to join me for a drink in Hogsmead this evening?"

Alright, that's enough.

Harry slammed Snape to the wall, pointing his wand steadily at the man.

"Who are you, and why are you pretending to be Severus Snape?" he snarled.

"Harry, there is really no need for this, I am Severus," the intruder said, trying to get away from the angry Defense teacher.

Harry's eye's narrowed. Snape never called him Harry. Ever.

Binding the man, he levitated him along the hallway to his quarter's, placing him on the sofa.

"If you're using Polyjuice, it'll wear off within an hour, you know. I'll find out who you are anyway, so you might as well just tell me."

"Potter, stop being so ridiculous, release me this instant," 'Snape' snapped. That sounded a little more realistic, but still, a little too late.

Harry merely looked at the man, before taking the chair across from the sofa. Staring at him, he waited until the potion wore off.

Sure enough, thirty five minutes later, the man began to transform, leaving Harry scowling when he realised who was impersonating the snappy Potions Master.

"Headmaster, I'm sure you have a very good reason for pretending to be Snape, that I'm sure you'll share with me after I get us both some tea," Harry drawled, releasing the bonds with a wave of his hand, walking into his kitchen to get the tea. Returning, he found Dumbledore sitting up on the sofa with a rather sheepish look on his face.

After Harry served tea, he just looked at Dumbledore waiting for an explanation.

"I, ah, there is a gay speed dating night tonight, down at the Three Broomsticks, and I thought if I could arrange it for you to think you were going there on a date with Severus, and he you, you would both realise you are utterly perfect for each other after being subjected to the other men."

Harry couldn't help himself, and he started to laugh. "Are you quite sure you wasn't a Slytherin when you were in school, Headmaster?" he asked when he calmed himself.

"Quite sure, dear boy, and please, for the very last time, will you call me Albus. So, will you attend?"

"Of course I won't. I don't know why you think I would, bloody speed dating. Do you not remember the disastrous affair the last speed dating night you sent me on ended up?"

"Well of course I do. This time is different though. I don't expect you to date of the other men there, I just want to give you and Severus a chance to talk, away from school."

"You're not going to leave me alone until I say I'll go are you? Thought not. Fine, I'll go, but for this, I'm not chaperoning the Christmas Ball, again. Oh, and good look getting Snape to go along with it."

xxxx

Harry walked into the bar, pulling nervously on the collar of his shirt. Aiming straight for the bar, he ordered some elf made wine and took a seat, waiting for the dreaded bell to sound, telling the 'daters' to sit at the tables. There were so many men here, some looking as uncomfortable as he was sure he himself did, other's looking excited. The tables were set out in a long line, that each person had to sit in, taking the next seat every seven minutes. Harry groaned internally, this was his personal idea of hell.

Dead on eight o clock, the bell sounded, and Harry made his way slowly to a seat. He saw a figure dressed in black slip in and sit down, his face sour. How on earth had Dumbledore convinced him to do it?

The speed dating went as expected, the people across the table realised Harry Potter sat facing them and dissolved into thank you's and pointless compliments on anything from his hair to his clothes to the latest prophet article about him. No intelligent conversation was to be had here apparently.

Harry moved up a seat, and suddenly found himself face to face with the real, sulky, snarky, sneering, Severus Snape.

"What did Albus do to make you come here?" Harry asked curiously.

"Bribery. You?"

"Bribery. There was no way was I coming here otherwise."

The corner's of Snape's mouth twitched slightly. "What did you manage to wring out of him?" he asked.

"No supervising the Christmas Party. It was a bloody nightmare last year."

"Weak. I got out of the Christmas, Valentine and Leaver's balls. You need to learn to negotiate better, Potter."

"Impressive. How many people have you made cry since you arrived?"

"Four. How many have been turned into puddle's at sitting facing the savior?"

"Seven. You ready to get out of here? There's a nice restaurant down the road."

"Most definately. Lead the way, Potter."

xxxx

As the two men left the bar together, neither noticed a witch at the bar, with a particularly familiar twinkle, smiling after them. Polyjuice Potion really was a clever invention, after all.

Written for the Monthly OneShot Competition for Prompt #7 Green