To the surprise of absolutely no one, I was headcanoning with trufflemores and then this happened. I'm sorry about the title of this, guys. (Also, this is my 35th story, holy crap!)

Kurt was walking through the living room of the loft the first time it happened. He was on his way to the kitchen and crossing in front of the couch when suddenly two arms wrapped around his waist and yanked him off his feet.

He would always deny making any weird noises, but Blaine swears that the sound he made was a cross between an angry chicken noise and the scream someone lets out when they're on the first hill of a roller coaster.

"Blaine! What are you doing?" Kurt screeched (though he was also laughing a little) once he got his bearings back, finding himself planted sideways on Blaine's lap on the couch.

"I was cold," Blaine said, no trace of remorse in his voice.

"So you couldn't grab the blanket we leave on the couch?" asked Kurt, raising an eyebrow acerbically. "It is literally four inches away from you, B."

"You're so much snugglier than a blanket, though," Blaine said, shooting Kurt his most winning smile and clinging to him even tighter. "And warmer," he continued, rubbing the tip of his nose into Kurt's neck.

"You're ridiculous, Blaine," Kurt said, melting slightly into his fiance. He was unable to resist Blaine's smile. "Can I get up for a minute to get us more snacks, though?"

"Ugh, fine, I suppose," huffs out Blaine, rolling his eyes in perfect drama queen style before releasing his grip around Kurt's waist. "Come back before I freeze, though!" he calls after Kurt, faking a shiver when Kurt turns around to glare at him from the kitchen.

"You're so needy," said Kurt with a laugh once he came back, settling back into Blaine's lap with their bowl of popcorn and reaching for the remote.

"Needy for your lovin', baby," Blaine said cheesily, winking at Kurt.

Kurt grabbed the throw pillow behind him and smacked Blaine with it thoroughly before focusing his attention on the episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo he'd flipped to.

Unfortunately for Kurt, the sneak attack snuggles didn't stop there. Blaine was like some sort of ninja cuddle master, and he never missed an opportunity to pull Kurt into his lap and nuzzle into him like an overgrown cat. There was one particularly memorable instance where Kurt had almost slipped over his own feet when Blaine had grabbed him after a shower that made him start fearing for his safety a bit.

Before he had to dig out Bruce as a substitute snuggler for Blaine, though, Blaine learned his lesson about startling his fiance with cuddles.

"Elliott! Hey, c'mon in!" Kurt said, standing up from Blaine's lap in welcome after Elliott yanked the loft door open for Pamela Lansbury-plus-Blaine movie night. He could hear Blaine let out a little whine below him, but chose to ignore it.

"Yeah, Starchild, get your ass in here so we can get this thing started already! I've been dying to see this movie for weeks now!" Santana called from her spot on the loveseat with Dani. They were so interlocked that Kurt was having trouble figuring out whose legs were whose, and he was mentally making a note to figure out where he'd left the stain remover, just in case.

Kurt was starting to take a step toward the door to help Elliott with the cartons of Chinese he'd brought with him when he felt himself tilting back toward Blaine unexpectedly. He flailed as he landed in Blaine's lap, accidentally nailing him in the balls with his elbow.

"Oh- oh my God," Blaine whined, curling tightly around Kurt, who was half in Blaine's lap and half on the couch armrest, legs askew and almost hitting Rachel at her spot on the floor.

"Blaine! I'm so sorry!" Kurt said hurriedly, shifting to sit entirely on the armrest as Santana and Dani hooted with laughter and Elliott stared on from the kitchen, unconsciously shifting one hand over his crotch in sympathy.

"Do you need any ice?" Rachel fretted, turning to look at Blaine with worry.

"No, Rach, I'll be okay," Blaine huffed, slowly catching his breath again and straightening back to a sitting position.

"I think Porcelain needs to kiss it better," Santana catcalled, wiping her eyes as she finally finished laughing.

"Oooooh, can I watch?" Dani asked, prompting everyone in the loft to stare at her questioningly. "What? They're hot," she said, shrugging.

"Yeah, but I'm hotter," Santana replied, capturing Dani's lips in a kiss that made Kurt blush and Rachel cover her eyes.

"Okay, anyways," Kurt said after a moment, turning his attention back to Blaine. "Are you okay, B? Really."

Blaine reached up to smooth the worry lines out of Kurt's forehead. "I'm fine, baby, I promise. I guess I should maybe start asking you for snuggles instead of just pouncing on you if I ever want to father children, though," he said, chagrin evident in his tone.

"Would you like to start now?" Kurt asked, winking at Blaine and opening his arms a little. It really was cold in the apartment without Blaine's space heater-like tendencies nearby.

"Kurt Hummel, will you...snuggle me?" Blaine replied, not waiting for Kurt to answer before pulling him into his arms and settling him carefully across his lap.

"Of course," Kurt said, curling up and putting his head on his favorite spot between Blaine's neck and shoulder. He reached for the couch blanket and tucked that over them as well.

Santana's fake retching was drowned out only by Rachel turning up the snarls of the MGM lion as she finally played the DVD.