Normal Twilight was trotting through ponyville when suddenly she saw a white alicorn with brown hair wearing armor "An Alicorn!?" Twilight said in surprise as she raced over to see this for herself

The Alicorn rigidly turned to her "I'm Lightning! My home world was destroyed when I was five! I've had to fight enemies that won't stop or listen to reason and are far more powerful then you're enemies!" Lightning shouted blandly

Twilight stared blankly "… Okay…" Twilight said not really sure how to respond to that jargon

Lightning then yelled "You couldn't possibly hope to fight them! Our star fleet's most useless could beat an army of your trained soldiers!"

"… Okay…" Twilight repeated losing interest in the boring alicorn

"And you're elements of harmony are useless to! They'd probably just get broken!" Lightning yelled

"Actually the elements of harmony have been broken. But they still worked fine because they're and indestructible force of friendship so long as there are friends who embody the elements themselves." Twilight corrected

"They're still useless!" Lightning yelled

"How?" Twilight asked "If they can't be destroyed and it's an undeniable trump card then how is it useless?" Twilight cocked her head in confusion

Lightning pulled out a gun and shot Twilight

"Oh no Twilight's down!" Luna yelled, Luna galloped over and her horn glowed "I'm gonna need all my power for this." Luna said with dread filling her stomach before Luna transformed into Nightmare moon and with her horn still glowing the light from it made Twilight sprout three pairs of wings and grow seventeen feet tall and gain eighty thousand pounds of fat

"Hooray! Twilight's all better!" Nightmare moon cheered

"I'll say." Twilight smiled looking herself over before her gaze turned to Nightmare moon "You don't look to bad yourself either." Twilight said with a flirty look in her eye "It could be that I just came back to life and my power's doubled up significantly but you're really hot Nightmare moon."

Nightmare moon smiled clearly please "Well if that's how you feel." Nightmare moon's smile turned mischievous before she leaped up to Twilight who grabbed Nightmare moon with her massive flabby forelegs and they started making out

"You can't fight these villains that I have to fight!" Lightning yelled wanting attention

"Would you just go away?" Twilight asked clearly losing her patience with the annoying loser alicorn "Nobody cares. And you're REALLY boring." Twilight said before turning back to Nightmare moon

"Shut up you lesbo!" Lightning yelled

"HOMOPHOBE!" Nightmare moon and Twilight shouted in protest. Then Nightmare moon and Twilight beat up Lightning till he died