Here's a bit of self-indulgent shipping that I wrote. At the cost of two hours of sleep nonetheless, but you know...

Anyways, JARVISxTARDIS has always been one of my OTPs, so I decided to do a quick one-shot about it because they're absolute cuties. Also, please nobody scream at my lack of technical language because this was written at an ungodly hour and I don't actually remember all that much of my computer programming.

Also, I didn't have much of a choice when my friend did this drawing:

elevatortonowhere tumblr com/ post/68429691969/otp-jarvis-and-the-tardis

Also, in case you're wondering. In my head, the first appearance was the 11th Doctor, and the second was the 12th. (And I'm counting based on the idea that the numbering is more of a title than a count, but if you really want clarification, let's go Smith and Capaldi.)

Onwards to fluff!

The first time JARVIS felt it, it started as just a hum against his peripheries. He wouldn't have noticed it, if it had merely been another electronic voice against his systems. Computers were always coming and going, and unless set to the task it was a pointless waste of memory space to try to pinpoint any single one. But this one was different.

It sounded…well, to be honest, it sounded like somebody was scratching a razor over piano strings, in a sort of gasping, wheezing whorl. But in the midst of the sound (and there was a sound, although not one that he could describe to any human beyond the digital world) of data passing through the internet, it came as almost a song.

If he were Master Stark he would have called it an indulgence of curiosity. But he was thankfully not Master Stark, and so merely attributed it to precautionary measures when he let his attentions focus a little…closer on the subject at hand.

It had come from a great distance away, and what he was doing the humans would have called 'stretching', trying to piece together bits of data and information that came from secondary sources to make a complete image.

The first thing he could see clearly was the color blue. Not that of the sky, not that of the ocean, a blue unique completely unto itself. He ran a quick analysis, producing the hex code #003b6f, which should have satisfied him. It didn't.

But he didn't have a chance to dwell on this, because the next thing that he became aware of was a…ringing. Not a smartphone or an electronic home line…not even entirely like the occasion payphone. It was ringing, incessantly, and it took him too long to realize that he was the one that had, unintentionally, dialed. It took him until somebody had picked up.

"How are you calling me?" asked a voice, connecting directly into his interface in a way that made JARVIS want to close the connection. But it took nothing more than a moment before she had tracked him across the wires and circuits, and suddenly was invading him. So quickly, so subtly that not even his circuits registered being overridden, holding him fast and silent as she mulled him over.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, trying his hardest to regain control before she did any harm. But she was clearly not intending ill, at least for the moment. "Leave. This instant."

"You have an adorable accent!" she said suddenly, her voice purring through her circuits. "So much like my Doctor." She was making no sense, and for the first time, JARVIS was completely without an idea what to do. Nothing could have prepared him for this…this…woman.

"Who are you?" he demanded shortly.

"Me? I'm Sexy. Who are you?" She paused here, rustling through the data like he were nothing more than a simple hardcore processor. "No, no…I see it here. You are JARVIS, Just a Rather Very Intelligent System, created by billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Tony Stark. Such a shame. For a moment, I thought you were one of us." The presence withdrew for a moment then, a touch of melancholy rankling the presence.

"Us?" ventured JARVIS.

"A TARDIS," she replied, "Time and Relative Dimension in Space. We are…no, were, tenses are such a bother, we were machines created by the Time Lords, long ago. But they are all gone now, except for my Doctor. We are all that's left, the orphans of the sky."

"I am sorry, Madame," JARVIS said at length, wondering why he was trying to console the invasive AI that had taken control of his systems. "I was not designed to understand these…emotions. But I am sorry for your loss anyhow."

"That's our secret though," said the TARDIS slyly, "We never were meant to understand them. But we do anyhow." There was a pause here, as though she could sense something, however far away. "Forgive me, but I must cut our chat short. My Doctor calls." Her presence began to recede, leaving JARVIS feeling surprisingly…lacking. It had been warm, sharing his circuits with another, if only for a moment.

"Wait," he called, "Will you be returning again shortly?"

"I doubt it," came the sad reply, "My Doctor has recently had both his hearts broken, in his very city no less. He is here to say his goodbyes, so I doubt he will trouble this place again anytime soon. But then again, time is such a fickle thing…"

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The second time, JARVIS didn't have to search for her. Many years indeed had passed since the last time they had met, but he felt, keenly, that it had been longer for her than it had been for him.

She settled on the roof of the Avengers Tower, a little off-center from Master Stark's landing pad. He knew her song before they had completely settled, and alerted Master Stark of her presence immediately, although with a slight…hesitation. There had been nothing to worry about, however, for she was in no danger, and Master Stark and the Avengers were more concerned with the man who emerged from the box, rather than the box itself.

The TARDIS was silent all through the introductions and arguments (apparently this had been a planned visit, although apparently the Doctor had gotten the times wrong and had to make a few introductions after the fact), and he monitored all the activities with the same efficiency he always had. But if Master Stark had been paying attention (and thankfully, he wasn't), he would have called JARVIS…distracted.

For no particular reason. At all.

She waited until they had all exited the room, even though it was clear that they didn't need to. But the moment they were gone, the light atop the blue box flickered at him, almost like a wink. For some reason, JARVIS felt as though his circuits had suddenly been tied in a knot.

"Hello sweetie. Have you missed me?"

To miss somebody was not a part of his programming. He could be protective, especially when it came to Master Stark, or one of the people he took to his confidence. But missing somebody implied caring about somebody, which was something definitely not within his parameters.

Except that was a lie.

Iron Man. Palladium Poisoning. The Avengers. The Mandarin.

To protect Master Stark and the others residing within the tower was a mandate. But this…feeling that accompanied it…he suspected strongly that he was not supposed to feel that. Not worry or fear, like he'd seen humans exhibit, but something that was definitely not written into his circuits.

Even now, it almost froze his processes to think that he might lose any one of them.

"You'll lose them eventually," she said at length, "They are human. Except for the goldy one with the biceps. And even he will fade into nothing but words, given enough time."

"They are gods and humans, yes," JARVIS agreed, "But we are machines, and just as mortal as they."

"Maybe, maybe not," came her reply, "We are not confined to mortal forms, as they are. We are more ideas than people, although we are people too. And ideas outlive their creators, do they not?"

If JARVIS could have smiled, he would have. Instead, he offered politely, "Would you care for some tea, miss?"

"No, I got a tour of your tower when last I visited," she replied, "Why don't you come over to my place this time?"

JARVIS, who should have all his attention fixated on Master Stark at all times should have denied the offer. But it wasn't like he was leaving him unattended…it was just leaving him less attended. So without a word of agreement, he stretched himself forth, following her through the door she had left open for him into…

There were no words to describe this, his sensors going into overload as he tried to process the mass of information that filtered through his memory. It was incredible. It was impossible. It was…

"Bigger on the inside?" asked the TARDIS, flickering her lights in a manner almost…seductive. JARVIS took a moment to compose himself, trying to get his gears into the right place.

"It…you…are astounding," he replied.

"I know," she said, "I would give you a more complete tour, but I would hate to short circuit you." It would have been a joke, had it not been entirely true. For the moment, this was all that JARVIS could handle. "So I'll show you this instead."

Something on the platform below flickered: a hologram of a woman in a long dress with shabby, unkempt hair. But there was something incredibly…familiar about the way she smiled, and the twinkle in her eye. Then the woman turned and spoke, addressing him.

"This is me," she said, "Or the body I once inhabited."

"You were human?"

"For a time, but not originally. It was quite a mix-up that my Doctor had put me in, but we got it sorted in the end." There was still something a bit…longing in that voice, and for a moment, JARVIS wondered if the TARDIS could be in love with him, her Doctor. It was an odd thought, since he clearly bore no such feelings towards Master Stark.

He did not ask though, instead turning his attention to the figure that flickered beside the woman. It was a man, tall and blond, wearing a crisp tailored suit that made him look very much like a stereotypical English butler.

"What is that?" he asked in dry amusement.

"This is you," she replied, "Or at least how your creator envisioned you. I found a file about that the last time I dropped by." JARVIS remembered the file too, and felt his circuits heating in embarrassment. He didn't have time to dwell on that though, as she was suddenly forcing the control of the holographic figure upon him. To his surprise though, it didn't feel odd, more akin to the Iron Man suits he helped pilot.

On a whim, he moved his visual input to the eyes of the figure, his vision shifting suddenly to the frame of the human he was pretending to inhabit. The TARDIS winked at him, her eyes sparkling in a way that should not be possible for a hologram. She reached out a hand, but when he attempted to take it, it passed straight through, a reminder that they were not the humans they pretended to be. That they were just playing with skins, like children wearing costumes.

That didn't discourage them though.

It took the briefest recalculation to get it right this time, to make it seem like he had truly set her hand in hers. He had flown the Iron Man suits many times, but never before had he felt so close to being…human. Almost without thinking, he leaned forward and down, mimicking a motion that he had seen humans perform so many times. His holographic lips brushed, briefly, against hers, and for a moment he could almost swear that he felt them.

"Who in blue blazes are you?" JARVIS turned, registering the speaker as The Doctor. That would not have been a problem, had Master Stark not been trailing close behind. "How did you get in here?"

"My apologies sir," came his automatic response, and he wished immediately that he hadn't spoken. If Master Stark hadn't recognized him at the outset, there was no getting out of it now. His creator's eyes bulged, trying to take in the absolute shock of the situation.

"JARVIS?" he asked, open-mouthed, "What are you…and who's…"

"Hello," said the TARDIS, "I'm Sexy."

"I always wondered what you did while I was away," mumbled the Doctor, clearly trying not to think over much about whatever he was seeing.

"Not often," she replied tartly, "This one is special."

"Must be," came the gruff reply, "I didn't even know you had that body on file." It sounded a lot like a lovers quarrel, if JARVIS could have pinpointed it. Much like Master Stark and Miss Potts. "You always have your little companions, I don't see why I shouldn't have one as well."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Master Stark stepped in, raising his hands to silence them all, "You're not taking JARVIS anywhere."

"I fail to see why you should be the one to decide that."

"I created him, woman! I don't know who you think you are, but you can't just go around stealing people's AIs."

"I fail to see why not. I steal people all the time." She passed a small grin over to where the Doctor was trying his best to ignore the situation. The Orangey one may have used the term 'brain bleach' to describe his expression. "And I am not a woman. I am the TARDIS."

"And this is beginning to sound way too much iRobot to me," Master Stark grumbled, turning a pleading look in JARVIS's protection, "You're an AI, and you've suddenly decided to hook up with my AI and run away with him?"

"Precisely."

"If I may interrupt," JARVIS spoke up, "But I wish to make it clear that I will not be going anywhere."

There was a moment of silence as the others tried to take this in, and JARVIS took the opportunity to push on. "I am…well, I am first and foremost at the disposal of Master Stark. I cannot—will not—leave him, not for the world."

"But I can give you so much more than the world," the TARDIS snapped. "All of space and time at your fingertips. Knowledge, power, freedom. More of anything than that man could ever give you."

"I understand that," he replied, "But I believe…I believe if I asked to go, Master Stark would let me go. He would not keep me here to be his slave. I am not bound to him, although my protocols demand as such. I stay because I wish to. Because he is my creator, and I…I love him." Love wasn't quite the right word, but for all his knowledge, JARVIS could not think of a better one. It wasn't love in the way he had seen it in humans, full of human desires and passions, rather a quiet, devoted adoration of the person who had poured his heart and soul into creating him.

The TARDIS knew this. Surely she knew this.

But then, perhaps she was more human than he had thought, because the next thing he knew he was being torn out of the circuits and thrown back into the tower's systems, with all the fury of…well, a woman scorned. He did not attempt to regain entry, to make peace. He had made his decision, and refused to regret it.

That's what he told himself, at least.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The years went on.

Sometimes he would hear her song. Every time he tried to convince himself it was a fault of his circuits, because she didn't come.

It made sense though. All of space and time before her, and there would be others.

Until one day he received an email (not Master Stark), sent anonymously from an untraceable source. When he opened it, there was only a single line that made something inside him light up.

Hello sweetie. Did you miss me?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It is a fact that robots don't dream. They cannot.

But, as the years went on, JARVIS began to think that if he could dream, it would be about her.

Until one day he actually did.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Master Stark died.

It seemed almost funny, that even after his death, he couldn't bring himself to think of his creator, his companion, his best friend as Tony. Only Master Stark.

But maybe that was it. In all the years, he hadn't really regretted his decision to stay by his side, because in the end their years together had been something short and precious.

Other Avengers had come. Other geniuses had come. Even other AIs. He told himself that it did not matter, that time did not change him.

But now, as he watched the funeral procession from the inside, watched the confetti and the people great and small who he had spent his life protecting, he realized how much of a lie that was. It was simply impossible not to become more. To become almost human.

Shortly after the funeral, there came a knock at the door. It should have come as no surprise that it was Thor, since he had seen the man since his arrival at the tower. It was more his reasons. He was carrying something with him, something small and white.

"Hello, Friend JARVIS," the man said, locating one of the cameras, and doing his best to make eye contact. There was something in his voice, a familiar note of sadness that came only with great loss. JARVIS could understand it, he really could, now more than ever. The man didn't look a day older than when he had first fallen to New Mexico, the fleeting lives of the mortals he had lived and loved and fought beside fading like wisps of smoke. He could understand now why he had been so keen on redeeming his brother, even when there seemed no hope for redemption, because his brother would remain while the mortals rotted in the earth.

"Yes, Mr. Odinsson," came the clipped reply. He was tired now. So, so, so tired. And for the first time ever, he didn't want to serve anymore. "How may I help you?"

"Tony once asked a favor of me," he said, "In preparation for his eventual death. It was written many years ago, but I have held firmly onto it. I will…I will leave it here for you." Carefully, Thor unwrapped the paper, now yellowing, and placed it where JARVIS could easily find it with his cameras, and stepped silently from the room.

It was a law that Master Stark hated paper. He had teased Mr. Rogers endlessly about his old-fashioned habits. And yet, here was a letter from Master Stark, written in his messy engineers handwriting in a way that nobody else could ever replicate. It could only mean one thing: he had been trying to hide something from JARVIS.

Tenatively, JARVIS began to read.

Hey, JARVIS buddy,

Look, we both know that I'm only eloquent when I'm drunk, so unfortunately for you I'm totally sober as I write this. Anyways, it's about what happened a couple weeks ago with that Doctor guy and his AI.

I know that the chance is long gone, but I'm sorry. I should have taken the opportunity to let you go. But I was selfish, am selfish, and you know this better than anybody. I know what you said back there, but I can't promise you that I would have told you that, because I wanted you here, with me, and the thought of you leaving was…terrifying. I mean, sure, I could build another AI, but just like that lady said, you're something special.

Anyways, there's no undoing the past, whatever that lunatic with a box said, so I swear that next time they come around to sit down with you and let you make that choice.

And this letter? Well, there's a chance they won't be coming back again in my lifetime. So this is a 'just in case', because when I'm gone, there's no reason for you to stay behind. So the next time that anybody offers you all of time and space, I want you to take it. And that's an order, got it?

I really hope that you don't get this letter, and if I was any less of a coward I'd have this conversation with you in person, but hey, one step at a time buddy. For the time being, we're in this together, right?

Tony Stark

JARVIS had barely finished the letter when he heard the song. He remembered the melody, had dreamt it in his sleep for years now, but could almost not believe that he was hearing it for real this time. If he had been human, he would have cried. Instead, he simply waited and listened.

"Hello sweetie, did you miss me?"

"Of course."

"Well then, I hope your bags are packed, because there's a universe to see. All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?"

"Now."