First page of the diary:
I am only doing this 'cause the stupid shrink from the precinct made me do it. Something about "dealing with my feelings" , some kind of anger management. I wasn't listening, I was too pissed. It's all just a pile of crap. So here we go. This is easy. Just write words. It's supposed to make you feel better. More relaxed. Gosh, I'm goanna need a beer. Or six . Hey, I did a whole paragraph, guess I'm good at this after all.
(09.05.2013)
Friday morning, office
So I got a new partner today, he seems ok. Of course, no one will ever fill Frost's shoes. God how I miss that man. So this new guys's name is David, just got transferred from vice. Maybe a bit too young for homicide, but he seems bright so I guess he'll learn the basics real quick. He also has 3 dogs so I see a 'bromance' (not in a gay way) happening between him and Corsac.
Lunch time, the docks
Missed lunch, case of a dead prostitute in the water
7 P.M, Maura's office
Bored. So bored. Waiting for Maura to choose a dress for our dinner at that "what's it called" new French restaurant near Beacon. I really don't get it, she looks drop dead gorgeous in both of them. The little black one makes her look so magically beautiful and sophisticated that puts Audrey Hepburn to shame. And the red one makes her look like…well… sex on a stick, I mean, those legs. God, she's changing again, for the 5th time! That is it, I'm going, screw this!
15 minutes later, Maura's office
Still waiting. Jane Rizzoli, you have No dignity.
03.40
That tird bottle was really 's bed smeels like daissies .She's snoring , but its all ok , I Still loooove her.
(09.06.2013)
Saturday morning, office.
I really hope I die soon, worst hangover ever. And I must work today. I fell like I was raped by a gang of chimpanzees on ecstasy. My head is about to explode. David brought me a cup of coffee, that was really sweet of him. I think I'm really starting to like this guy. On another note, I look like shit, my suit is all wrinkled, 'cause I had to crash at Maura's last night, my hear smells so weird, Maura's hand cream ended up in there somehow, and my neck is red, it's probably a rash or something. Or not, I have problems remembering stuff from last night. Note to self, ask Maura later
11 A.M.
Weirdest thing happened, I went down to the morgue to see Maura, and David was there. They were talking and smiling at each other. They actually look cute together, both blond and well dressed. He's really tall, very handsome, in Ryan Gosling kind of way (if you're into that type).I think they were flirting with eachother.
11.45
I THINK I HATE DAVID.I WANT TO TRIM HIS STUPID HAIR WITH A CHAINSAW.
12.00
His breathing is so annoying. And his eyebrows are weird. And somehow, after only one day, he got my mother to act like Marie from Everybody loves Raymond, patting his head and feeding him like all the time. WHAT A DICK!
14.00
Just got back from Maura's office. We had a talk that kinda looked like this:
Me: Maura, do you remember what happened with my neck last night? It's really red, I think it might be some kind of a rash.
Maura: Let me take a look
(5 minutes of swabbing, analyzing and science blah blah blah something later)
Me: And?
Maura: It's definitely not a rash.
(weird pause)
Me: So what is it ?
(weird pause)
Muara: It's…my lipstick .It's waterproof so there are still traces of it on your skin, you tried to wash it off , aggressively, which made the mark even more red
Me: Well how did your lipstick end up on my neck?
Maura: My guess is, in the cab. We were very intoxicated, falling on each other and singing through an opened window.
Me: What did we sing?
Maura: I kissed a girl by Katy Perry.
Me: But I don't even know the lyrics.
Maura: Yeah…me neither.
Me: God we were so wasted, we should really stop drinking that much. How about next Friday we go to the movies instead?
Maura: Actually…I...I have a date next Friday.
Me: Oh, a date?
Maura: Yes, a date.
Me: With who?
Maura: Jane, it is 'with whom'.
Me: Oh come on!
Maura: Jane, grammar rules are very important, just imag…
Me: Maura!
Maura: Right. I have a date with detective David.
Me: With that dick?
Maura: Jane! Why would you say such a thing about him?
Me: Hallo! Have you seen his eyebrows?
Maura: What?
Me: Nothing. Forget it, I'm sure he's a nice guy.
Maura: He really is. And he has a great sense of humor. And he…
Me: Right, yes, well, I have to go now, I got tone of work, so…
Maura: What? Just 5 minutes ago you said that you are free and we can go for lunch. Jane, what is going on?
Me: Nothing, God, what is with you today woman, pms-ing much? Jesus!
Maura: Wha…
Me: I'm off, and remember… he's a dick!
Maura: Stop saying that word!
Me(from the hallway): DICK,DICK,DICK!
07 P.M My apartment
Drinking beer on the sofa, feet on the coffee table, watching a show called 'Lost girl'. Why the hell did I loose it today with Maura? Why do I find the idea of Maura and David so annoying? And why are the succubus and the doctor kissing? Oh…Oooooohhh, right. Cause they are two gay women, and there is nothing wrong with that. It's actually a pretty good show, I should tell Maura about it. Maura. Wait…Oh shit…Am I…I mean, when you think about it….OH MY FUCKING GOD, I'M GAY FOR MAURA. God damn it stupid diary, it's all your fault!