A/N: I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to finish, but here is the last chapter at last! I cannot thank those who have reviewed enough for their encouragement on this one. It has been a joy to write. Love, LucyMay

Hiro was tired, but he did feel considerably better than he had at the start of the day. It felt good to be back in the studio with his friends again, to be working hard on something they all loved to do. Shuichi had given him his full attention, making him laugh whenever he suspected that his mind was wandering back to Tohma, and even Suguru had lightened up, complimenting him on his new songs.

It was already getting quite late, and Hiro knew that Shuichi would want to get home to Yuki soon. They had listened to the rough recordings, choosing one song that Shuichi had written lyrics to for Suguru to help them arrange and rehearse, but Hiro still had one more song to play for them. Nervously, he told them that he was still working on the lyrics, and was relieved that Shuichi didn't look offended at the idea.

"Um, well, here goes," Hiro said, starting the track. Both of his friends fell silent as the ballad played, sharing looks with each other that Hiro hoped were due to being impressed. The song was still so personal to him, perhaps even more than before, and he stared at the carpet for most of it, finally looking up and seeing that his friends were no longer paying attention. Following their surprised looks, he turned around just in time to see Tohma walk out into the hall. Shuichi quickly turned off the music.

"So, um, yeah, great song, Hiro! I think we need to go home for the night though, don't you, Fujisaki?" Shuichi asked, frantically gathering his things. Suguru shook his head as if coming to, looking confused.

"Well, I guess it is pretty late," Suguru said.

"See you tomorrow, Hiro!" Shuichi said, giving him an urgent nod towards the door. "Go on, stupid," he added with a loud whisper.

"Yeah, bye guys," Hiro said, his heart pounding as he rushed out of the door.

He saw the elevator door close, and cursed, catching the next one. Tohma managed to elude him all the way to his office, where Hiro cast an apologetic look at his secretary, who didn't even have time to voice an objection as he walked straight in behind him.

Sakano and Tohma both turned to look at him, as he stood panting just inside the door. Tohma cleared his throat and gave Sakano his widest smile.

"I do appreciate all the hard work you've put in during my absence, Sakano-san," Tohma said, placing his hands on the befuddled man's back and none too subtly guiding him toward the door. "Nakano-san and I need to discuss Bad Luck's recording session at the moment, though, so I'm afraid you will have to wait until tomorrow to fill me in. Have a nice evening."

"But Shacho, I -" was all Sakano managed to get out before having the door shut on him.

Tohma gave a deep sigh, removing his coat as he walked past Hiro to his desk, turning around to lean against it. He focused on removing his gloves, seeming to be using the distraction to gather his thoughts, when Hiro decided to make his move.

Hiro had no intention of giving the man a chance to come up with the words of rejection or excuses he sensed were about to come. Seeing him again after what had to be one of the longest weeks of his life had given him all the resolve he needed in making up his mind about this. He wanted Tohma so badly right now, and he had to make him see that what they had was worth a try.

Tohma barely had time to look up before Hiro grabbed him around the waist and kissed him, lifting him up and sitting him on the edge of the desk. Tohma trembled slightly in his arms, giving a needy whine as Hiro bit his bottom lip, deepening their kiss with a sense of urgency, his hand traveling up the older man's back and burying in soft platinum hair, knocking his hat onto the floor.

"Hiroshi," Tohma panted with a throaty whisper, as Hiro peppered his long neck with kisses, pulling at the collar of his shirt.

"I know, I know," Hiro whispered, kissing up his jaw. "It's crazy, scary even, how much I - But you feel it too, don't you?"

Tohma moaned as Hiro swept his tongue over his throat, and Hiro pulled back slightly. He wanted an answer. He needed to know if Tohma felt something, anything beyond lust for him. Perhaps this wasn't the best way to go about it, he realized, feeling stupid, feeling weak for giving in to his baser instincts the second he had him alone. Tohma looked at him, his lips swollen and eyes clouded with need.

"Come home with me, Hiro," Tohma purred. This wasn't how this was supposed to go exactly, Hiro thought.

"No, I mean, yes, I want you so bad I can't stand it, but - but I need to talk to you about something. I need to tell you that I think I'm -" Hiro rambled breathlessly, when his phone began to ring, shattering his thoughts and taking his courage with them.

Hiro reluctantly stepped back and pulled the phone from his pocket, checking the number, cursing under his breath.

"Is something wrong?" Tohma asked, sliding off the desk and collecting himself as the phone continued to ring.

"It's my idiot brother. He only calls when he's in trouble, so I'm afraid I have to get this," Hiro grumbled, Tohma nodding slowly as he answered.

Unbelievable, Hiro thought to himself. He wouldn't blame Tohma for pushing him out of his office right now behind Sakano. But Tohma just watched him with a blank expression, his hair sticking up at odd angles. It took everything he had not to hang up and continue ravishing him.

"Hey! What's up?" Yuuji said cheerfully. He was drunk.

"What the hell do you want at this hour?" Hiro asked irritably.

"Am I interrupting some hot date, baby bro?" Yuuji asked with a laugh. Hiro glanced at Tohma, who was still leaning against the desk, watching him with a questioning expression.

"As a matter of fact, you are. A very hot date," Hiro said, giving Tohma a heated look.

"Ah, shit, bro, I'm sorry," Yuuji slurred. "I need you to come pick me up so I can crash at your place tonight. I don't have to spoil your fun though! Bring her along! I'll give you plenty of privacy when we get to your place, I promise!" Hiro wondered for a moment how exactly inebriated you had to be to think that three people could ride a motorcycle.

"Damn it, Yuuji!" Hiro said with a sigh. "Tell me where you are."

Hiro got the directions to a bar in a red-light district neighborhood of Shinjuku, while fantasizing about the many ways he wanted to commit fratricide. He finally ended the call and turned to Tohma.

"I have to ride out to Kabukicho, and pick the idiot up," Hiro said. "It'll probably take me at least an hour to get him and take him to my place, fuck it all."

"Do be careful. That neighborhood can be unsafe this late at night," Tohma said, giving him one of those smiles that made him nervous. He prayed silently that he hadn't blown everything.

"Tohma, I - I'm sorry for this. You have no idea how sorry," Hiro said, giving him the most earnest look he could manage, and praying, praying…

"You are more than welcome to swing by my place once he's settled," Tohma said with a shrug, then bent down to pick up his hat. As soon as he stood up again, Hiro gave him a quick kiss.

"I'll try, but I can't promise anything until I know what kind of trouble he's in. I've missed you so much," Hiro said.

"Really? I couldn't tell," Tohma said, with a coy grin.

"I'll call you as soon as I get in, I promise," Hiro said.

"Please do," Tohma said, returning his peck with a more lingering kiss.

"Trying to rub it in by reminding me what I'm missing?" Hiro asked.

"Maybe just a little," Tohma said with an exaggerated expression of innocence that he was just a little too good at.

OoOoO

Hiro opened the door of his apartment, and flicked on the lights, kicking it closed behind him as his brother stumbled past him into the room. He was still fuming after cursing his brother for a solid hour to Shinjuku and back. He'd found him sitting on the sidewalk between the bar and the hostess club next door, looking around him like he were expecting to get jumped any minute. Knowing his brother, this was never a good sign.

Yuuji's so-called acting career had turned into something more akin to professional vagrancy. He slid through life on charm, finding friends and girlfriends to help him out and give him places to stay when he couldn't make rent, but his charm didn't always keep him out of trouble. He'd had exactly two acting gigs in as many years, both times as extras, and the rest of the time he was getting fired from things like washing dishes and delivering pizzas.

But still, he was family. Hiro loved his irresponsible big brother that was more like a younger one, and tried to help him when he could. After his mother had all but stopped speaking to him after he ditched med school, Yuuji had been the only family he had for a while, before Bad Luck's success had finally won him his parents' blessing. He supposed the fact that he had bought them a house hadn't hurt either, he thought, somewhat bitterly. But Yuuji had at least been supportive, even if he was a mooch. Hiro had tried giving money to him several times, hoping it would help him find his feet, but his reckless sibling always seemed to find some way to lose it, usually at the track.

"I thought you had an apartment right now," Hiro said, watching irritably as Yuuji opened his refrigerator and helped himself to a beer he clearly did not need.

"Can't go back there right now," Yuuji said, plopping onto a recliner.

"What have you done now?" Hiro asked, crossing his arms.

"I may have borrowed a little money from some not so nice types," Yuuji said, not meeting his eyes.

"How much?" Hiro asked with a sigh. It wasn't the first time he'd had to pay something or someone off to keep his brother from being beaten up or jailed.

Yuuji rattled off a number that was roughly twice what Hiro had left in savings. Hiro threw up his hands.

"Well, you're fucked then. Do you think I have that kind of money just lying around? What the hell were you thinking?" Hiro demanded.

"I was thinking I had a sure bet," Yuuji said, shaking his head. Hiro sat down on the couch for a moment, his face in his hands.

"So, how serious are these guys, do you think?" Hiro asked, looking up at last. "I mean, if they kill you, they aren't going to get any money."

"No, they aren't going to kill me yet anyway, but that doesn't mean they aren't prepared to put me in the hospital," Yuuji said, clearly more agitated than he was trying to appear, his hands shaking. "I once knew a guy that owed them half as much. They broke both of his legs."

"Damn it, Yuuji! And you borrowed money from them anyway?" Hiro yelled, standing up and beginning to pace. "Do you think we can get them off your back for a while with half? It's all I have." Unless I sell my bike and guitars he thought, swallowing hard. But it still wouldn't be quite enough, and would take more time than they had.

"I don't think they take payments, Hiro," Yuuji said, laying his head back. "I feel dizzy."

"Please go to the bathroom if you think you're going to puke," Hiro said, trying to calm down. "I need to make some phone calls."

Hiro went outside, lighting a cigarette and pacing, looking at his phone and trying to decide who to call first, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see a large, rough looking man that he didn't know, with another younger guy with bleached hair and piercings standing behind him.

"Looks like you were right. He did go running to his little pop star brother," the first man said over his shoulder to the other one, smirking. "Didn't he know this is the first place we'd look? Yuuji ain't too bright."

"We don't need to have any trouble here," Hiro said as calmly as he could manage. "You're going to get your money very soon. I just have to make some calls."

"Damn straight we're going to get it soon," the first man said. The second guy pulled out a knife and grinned. "He had until tonight."

"Look, violence isn't going to solve -" Hiro started, as the other man reached out and grabbed him by the hair, jerking him closer. Hiro ground his teeth, wanting badly to fight back, but knowing he couldn't take them both.

"I seen this guy on TV, playing with that little pink haired kid, you know, the one they're always talking about because he takes it up the ass?" the guy with the knife said, stepping closer.

"Oh, yeah? He's on TV?" the other man said, jerking his head back hard to look at his face.

"Yeah. He's even prettier in person," the one with the knife said, flicking his tongue at Hiro suggestively. "Too bad we don't have more time to play."

"Tomorrow night, bitch, around this time," the large man said, punching him hard in the stomach. Hiro gasped in pain, his eyes watering as the man let go of his hair and he fell to his knees.

The other man shoved him down with his foot, giving him a vicious kick in the side of the head.

"Your piece of shit brother better have our money tomorrow, or next time we won't be so nice," he said with a laugh.

It was the last thing Hiro heard before everything went black.

OoOoO

I'm all too aware of the ridiculousness of the situation. I check my phone for what feels like the one hundredth time, as I drive a bit faster than I probably should. A very recently divorced man rushing out into the night to check up on the very lover he had decided to end it with, all because he hasn't answered his call. All because he has some premonition of danger. When did my life turn into one of Eiri-san's novels? Perhaps I am every bit as obsessively overprotective as Eiri-san has always accused me of being. There is likely a very rational explanation for my not hearing from him.

But Hiro is loyal, I tell myself. He is honest. He would not promise me he would call and then just forget. Nor would he be ignoring me when I call him. It has been three hours now. Something is clearly wrong. I have to at least be sure.

It is difficult to put my emotions into words as I pull up to find Hiro lying unconscious on the sidewalk, as I rush to his side and see the blood on his face. I call his name and try to access the damage, to determine whether I should call an ambulance or take him to the ER myself.

"Tohma?" he says weakly, stirring at last, and I am filled with a wave of relief.

"Hiroshi, what had happened? Don't move yet," I say, placing my hands on his chest to discourage him from sitting up in case of spinal injury.

"Couple of thugs jumped me. My brother owes them money," Hiro says, wincing. "One of them kicked me in the head, but I think I'm alright."

"I think we should take you to the hospital in case of a concussion," I say. "Where is your brother?"

"He's passed out drunk inside, while I'm out here getting my ass kicked," Hiro says with a bitter smile. Well, at least he's making jokes, I think.

After carefully determining it is okay, I help him into the passenger seat of my car, and go to fetch his inebriated sibling, telling Hiro to do whatever is needed to stay conscious until we can get him examined. Inside, I find his brother snoring loudly, his head tossed back in the recliner, and shake him awake.

"Who the hell are - where's Hiro?" he asks in sleepy confusion, as I corral him out of the apartment. I have a lot of questions for him myself, but they can wait until Hiro is seen to.

I call K on the way to the hospital and tell him to meet me there. This situation is entirely unacceptable. Someone will indeed be made to pay, and it will not be Hiro or his brother.

OoOoO

Hiro opened his eyes, feeling dizzy and confused. He tried to sort through his muddied thoughts to figure out where he was. The last thing he could clearly recall was getting kicked in the head. He groaned, and turned his head slightly, realizing he was in a hospital bed.

"Hiroshi?" he heard a voice ask just out of his vision. Tohma?

"How did you -?" Hiro asked groggily, Tohma's face appearing above him as the man stood.

"You have a concussion, so you are being kept for observation. I had K-san take your brother to a hotel for the night. Everything is going to be just fine, Hiroshi," Tohma said soothingly, running a cool hand over his forehead.

"But how did you know? What are you doing here?" Hiro asked.

"Ah, the doctors said you may have some temporary memory loss," Tohma said. "You were remembering just fine when I found you, so I wasn't sure if that would be the case. Anyway, I went to your apartment to check on you because you never called me back, and here we are."

"Thank you, Tohma," Hiro said. "I've given you one hell of a home coming tonight, huh?"

"Well, it's been anything but dull," Tohma said.

"Is my phone close by? I need to call Shuichi about something important," Hiro said with an anxious expression.

"If this is about the situation with your brother, consider it taken care of," Tohma said with a with a wicked gleam in his eyes, and a smile that sent a chill down the guitarist's spine.

"What do you mean?" Hiro asked. "You haven't done anything, um, bad to anyone, have you?"

"Well, not personally," Tohma said, the picture of innocence.

"Tohma, please tell me you haven't hurt anyone. This is something for the police to deal with," Hiro said, growing uneasy at the thought that he was finally seeing the side of his lover that everyone had always warned about.

"They have their money, Hiroshi. I just had it delivered along with a little lesson about harming those with whom I am associated," Tohma said. "It is a mistake I doubt they will be making again."

"Can you please just tell me that no one was seriously hurt?" Hiro asked with a frown.

"No one was seriously hurt but you, Hiroshi," Tohma said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"I really want to believe you," Hiro said. Tohma looked up at him, his expression torn between hurt and anger.

"What good is any of my power, Hiroshi? What good is any money I make or any hard work that I have done, if petty thugs, insolent insects like those are able to do something like this to you without suffering for it? What kind of man am I at all if I can't do anything to protect the ones that I care about?" Tohma asked angrily.

Hiro was silent for a long moment, unsure of what to say. In some ways Tohma was right, or at least he could sympathize. If he could find the men who had raped and beaten Shuichi, he wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't kill them for what they had done. And these men that Tohma had unleashed God-knew-what upon would have been more than willing to do far worse to him or his brother. Perhaps it was easier to stand in judgment of Tohma's rather gray area morality in these matters because Tohma actually had the power to get his revenge instead of just fantasize about it.

And whether he had realized or not in his emotional tirade, Tohma had more or less just confessed that he had feelings for him. Hiro looked up him, stunned. From the look on his face, it had probably been unintentional and he hadn't even realized what he'd said. Hiro would have to wait for a better opportunity to bring it up, when Tohma wasn't feeling so defensive.

"I think I can understand why you would do something like this, Tohma," Hiro said. "But you have to understand why this kind of thing bothers me, and well, why it makes me wonder about the kind of things you might do in the future." Tohma was still shaking with emotion, and sat heavily in the chair he had pulled up to Hiro's bedside, placing his elbows on the mattress and burying his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up at him.

"Hiroshi, my reputation is a very important part of who I am, of what I do. Some of it is well deserved, and a lot of it is exaggerated. A man in my position must make a lot of enemies if I am to succeed, and if I am not feared to some extent then I leave myself and everyone I care about open to attack.

I will admit that I do abuse my power when it comes to protecting those closest to me. I cannot pretend to regret it though. I'm fully aware that it also comes with a lot of sacrifices, like the very ones I'm trying to protect not giving me their trust, and my not even being able to blame them in the least," Tohma said. His gaze broke away from Hiro's with his final words, the fury in his eyes fully extinguished now, leaving him looking very tired.

"I - I do trust you, Tohma," Hiro said, sitting up and placing his hand on Tohma's. Tohma gave him a sad smile, that almost looked pitying.

"Don't you see that you probably shouldn't, darling?" Tohma asked softly. "I'm not even sure I trust myself when it comes to matters like this."

"Hiro?" a voice was heard calling just inside the door.

"He's in here, Shindou-san," Tohma replied and stood. "I took the liberty of having K call him, and made sure they let him in."

Shuichi appeared, giving Tohma a curious look before rushing to the bed at the sight of his friend.

"Hiro? Are you okay? What happened?" Shuichi asked, looking at the bandage on Hiro's bruised face in alarm.

"Take good care of him, Shindou-san," Tohma said, making his way quickly to the door, before Hiro could object.

"Did Tohma have you beat up? Did he come in here to finish the job with a pillow while you were sleeping?" Shuichi asked shrilly, whipping around like he were going to follow the man into the hall and strangle him.

"No. Sit down you idiot," Hiro said with a sigh. "He didn't put me in the hospital, he brought me here."

A doctor walked into the room carrying a chart and asked Hiro a series of questions, before asking him to stand and walk around the room, and checking for any numbness in his arms and legs. Once she was satisfied, she informed Hiro that she believed it would be okay for him to check out, but wanted him to stay with someone for the next twenty-four hours to keep an eye on him.

Shuichi slipped out of the room while she listed off any symptoms that she wanted him to return to the hospital for. He came back in as the doctor was leaving, and Hiro was searching the nightstand for his phone to call his mother, a conversation he did not look forward to.

"You're coming home with us," Shuichi announced cheerfully. "I just discussed it with Yuki out in the hall."

Hiro wondered how on earth he had made that negotiation, as the writer joined them in the room to wait for the nurse, looking around like he'd rather be anyplace else.

OoOoO

After the hassle of Hiro getting dressed and brought to the car in a wheelchair per the hospital's policy, they were headed back to the apartment in the weak light of the early morning. Shuichi had insisted that Hiro ride shotgun for his comfort, but he saw through the little singer's ploy as he looked in the rearview and saw him stretch and yawn before flopping onto his side in the backseat. Yuki gave Hiro a side-long glance, catching him watching his lover in the mirror. Great, as if this situation weren't awkward enough, Hiro thought, turning his eyes dutifully straight ahead of him.

"So, why are we taking care of you instead of Seguchi?" Yuki asked, passing his lighter to him as he saw Hiro pull out a cigarette.

"I think Tohma has taken enough care of me for one day," Hiro said, lighting up and passing the lighter back. "If this is too much of an inconvenience for you, Yuki-san, I can call my mother."

"Fine, I get it. It's none of my fucking business," Yuki grumbled.

Hiro felt a stab of guilt, realizing that Yuki had simply been expressing interest in his situation, albeit in his own socially graceless way, and that Hiro had taken it as him being annoyed at helping him. For all Shuichi had always insisted that his Yuki actually had human emotions and was just really lousy at expressing them, Hiro had never really seen him be anything other than a coldhearted prick. He knew his perception could possibly be clouded by jealousy, but he still wasn't sure he'd ever understand Shuichi's tireless devotion to the man. Tohma's either, for that matter, he thought with a frown.

"So what exactly happened to you, Hiro? You haven't even told me anything, other than that someone tried to kick your head in," Shuichi asked after a long pause in which Hiro had been sure the singer had dozed off.

Hiro gave an account of being called to go pick up his brother, and of all of Yuuji's stupidity, as they arrived at their destination and took the elevator up to the apartment. Hiro and Shuichi took a seat on the couch while Yuki went to make coffee.

Yuki returned while Hiro was giving Shuichi a brief recount of his and Tohma's conversation, Hiro feeling a bit uneasy under the writer's scrutiny, and leaving out some of the more personal details. Shuichi looked up at Yuki expectantly.

"Where's mine?" he asked, looking at Yuki's mug.

"Waiting for you to make it yourself," Yuki said, taking a seat on the loveseat facing them. Shuichi pouted and called Yuki an asshole, before going into the kitchen.

"So let me get this straight, and you can tell me to butt out anytime," Yuki said, sitting his coffee on the table. "Some guys beat you up and put you in the hospital because your brother owes them money, and Seguchi sent the psychotic American to take of it. And now you're pissed off at him for doing exactly the sort of thing Seguchi does. Who neglected to tell you that my erstwhile brother-in-law does not exactly like for anyone else to play with his toys?"

"Hey, I'm not exactly thrilled to be defending Seguchi-san, but to be honest, Hiro? I'd have beat the shit out of those guys myself if I had the chance! They could have killed you, and you didn't even do anything to them!" Shuichi chimed in through the open kitchen door.

"I'm pissed off at him for not letting me make my own decisions about my own life," Hiro said. "I'm not really all that upset anymore about him getting involved with what happened last night, even if I really don't like using violence to solve things, and I don't really feel comfortable with taking his money. What's bothering me is that now I feel like he's trying to shut me out. He went an entire week without speaking to me, and now he gives me some bullshit line about how I shouldn't trust him because he doesn't trust himself, whatever that means."

"Yeah, get used to that shit if you're serious about Tohma, the World's Own Martyr," Yuki said, flicking an ash into the ashtray. "I'll just warn you now. He's been trying to make my decisions for me since I was a kid. You're just lucky he doesn't fixate all his guilt on you. He means well, but fuck is he annoying."

"Yeah, I kind of got the impression that he tends to wig out if he doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation," Hiro said with a frown.

"Yeah, he seems like he's happiest when he's in control, but I think he likes it best when he's presented with a challenge," Yuki said with a smirk. "It's probably why he likes you so much. And he does, by the way, even if he's being cagey as fuck about it. You're a strong-willed guy who won't take his shit. He gets bored if you bend to him too much."

"If that's true, Yuki-san, then why did he leave?" Hiro asked.

"Why don't you ask him yourself? He's coming here for dinner," Yuki said with a shrug.

"He is?" Shuichi asked, returning with coffee for himself and Hiro. "How did that happen?"

"He found me on his way out at the hospital, and somehow managed to invite himself," Yuki said, stubbing out his cigarette and standing. "Well, I'm going to go take a nap, since you morons got me up at such an ungodly hour."

OoOoO

I'm pretty sure that I am walking into a trap, I think to myself as I drive to Eiri's apartment, although I am not entirely aware of what kind. It seems that Eiri has finally become aware that he is probably the only person alive who truly holds the power to manipulate me as well as I manipulate others, or at the very least has decided for some reason to wield his powers after all these years.

It was all entirely too endearing for me not to play along, when I ran into Eiri at the hospital. After discussing Mika and his family, and giving him a brief rundown on why we were all there in the first place, Eiri had asked me about an ingredient in a recipe for something I had made for him on the pretense that he was making it for dinner. He knew full well how awkward and transparent the inquiry was, just as he knew full well that I would offer to come by and make the dish for him myself. Far be it from Uesugi Eiri to ever simply come right out and ask someone over for dinner. And of course his acceptance of my offer was stated as something along the lines of how he didn't feel like cooking anyway, and that I could do whatever I wished. Yes, Eiri, you're the one doing me the favor by allowing me into your presence, after all.

Sakano was not at all pleased by my three hour work day appearance. Oh, well.

So now that my suspicions have arisen, I come to the most obvious conclusion, that Shindou had some part in this, and that it is most likely something to do with Hiroshi. Perhaps he feels he owes me one when it comes to interfering with personal relationships? He always has been a rather presumptuous little insect.

Hiroshi invades my thoughts again, as I recollect the many ways he has made me lose control since my return. Let it never be said that he has no talent in finding new ways to surprise me. He seduced the very reason from me in my own office last night, then made me lose my temper just this morning. He both confounds and excites me, my Hiroshi. His very goodness and sincerity will be the end of me.

These are my thoughts as I ring the doorbell, and find the trap sprung as he opens the door for me. I hide my surprise with a smile and some frivolous flirtatious comment that I'm sure fools no one, as he helps me with the grocery bag I carry. I sense from his rather stiff greeting that Shindou was perhaps none the wiser himself after all, which is indeed interesting. I hesitate to even hazard a guess at your motives, Eiri, but well played.

"Hiro's doctor doesn't want him to be alone, so the brat offered up my couch like he owns it," Eiri says. It's the only explanation he'll ever offer I'm sure.

I follow Hiro into the kitchen, trying to figure out how exactly I plan to play this as I search for the apron. I have just laid my fingers upon it when Eiri walks in behind us, and snatches it from me.

"You brought what I needed, so why don't you go have a drink on the balcony?" Eiri says. I give him a look of confusion.

"Eiri-san, you said you did not feel like cooking," I say.

"Changed my mind. Both of you. Get the fuck out of my kitchen," Eiri says, jerking his head to direct Hiro and looming over me with a scowl.

"Manners, Eiri," I say half-heartedly, but obey him nonetheless, finding the wine already set on the patio table along with the glasses, and the balcony door already opened. Shindou's set-up for sure on this part anyway. It lacks Eiri's subtlety.

Shuichi shuts the door behind us, and I see him shake his head as he goes to join Eiri in the kitchen.

"You're angry with me," I say. Hiro has been most uncharacteristically quiet, almost sullen, since I appeared. I may as well break the ice.

"No, Tohma. Not exactly. I'm just confused," Hiro says, looking at the view instead of me. I sit, watching the evening breeze blow his hair gently as I study his profile. "I - I know I'm the one who seems to always initiate everything that has happened between us, but you can't tell me anymore that you don't care about me, Tohma. You said as much yourself back at the hospital, so now I want to know what you're so damned afraid of."

He sighs, and turns to look at me, his look ever open and earnest and so much more than I deserve.

"Look, I know these kinds of things can be scary. You've just come home from getting a divorce, and whether you were still in love with her or not, I know that has to make you feel pretty cautious about getting involved right now. I'm not trying to be completely oblivious or insensitive here. But for God's sake, Tohma. I just - can you possibly have any doubt that I'm anything less than crazy about you?" His voice falls almost to whisper near the end, and his gaze has fallen.

"You played that song yesterday, in the studio. The one that wasn't intended for the band to use, do you remember the one?" I ask in an almost absent way, pulling at the fingers of my gloves to remove them.

"What?" he asks, his brow wrinkling in confusion at the abrupt change of subject, before his eyes widen slightly. "You think I'm still hung up on Shuichi, don't you?"

"Aren't you?" I drawl boredly, tossing the removed lambskin gloves on the patio table, and reaching for the opened bottle of wine. "Look, Hiroshi. Do you want to know why I am reluctant to get further involved in this - what should we call it - delightful distraction? Because I will try to control you. I will try to possess you, and then I will destroy anything that gets in my way. And yes, I suppose that it does mean that I care for you that I would rather not have it go that route, but don't think for one minute that I am going to play consolation prize to that little fool."

Hiro's lips draw into a thin line, as he stares at me, long and hard, almost as though he doesn't recognize me at all. He begins to pace. Good. He's seeing what he is supposed to, what I am allowing him to see. This is back in my control. He is likely fuming now, only fighting back the instinct to come to the defense of his idiot friend just yet so that he won't prove me entirely correct in one careless breath. This going exactly the way I want it to. And it hurts. It hurts more than I expected, actually.

When he finally does turn to yell at me, however, he doesn't yell at all. He kneels beside my chair and looks up at me to speak, with an exasperated smile and eyes shining a bit brightly in the dim light coming out from the apartment.

"You are such a little hypocrite," Hiro says, chuckling softly, pulling my hand onto my knee and holding it. "I have an ex-wife and a whatever the fuck Eiri is to contend with, and you're really going to push me away over Shuichi? The reason I was able to share that song is because I re-wrote the words - no, you did. It became yours because I knew you liked it, and it only made me think of you after that.

You want to possess my heart? Fine. He didn't want it, Tohma, and if you do, it's yours. I don't think you've ever tried to give yours to someone who wanted it either, so you should know how different it feels when you finally do. It isn't some fucking consolation prize. It's -"

"Wonderful," I find myself finishing for him before I can stop myself.

He looks up at me and smiles, with such hope, such tenderness, and I know I am lost. He pulls me down and kisses me then though, and I am found. And it is fine. More than fine.

OoOoO

Sakano has threatened to throw himself from a first story window at least thrice this week over the stress of the looming cameras outside of NG. And people accuse me of being a drama queen. Or rather, Eiri and Hiroshi do. They're the only ones who would dare.

Perhaps I'll send Sakano on a vacation when all of this has died down. On second thought, he'd probably see it as punishment. I think love may have softened me. I need to fire someone arbitrarily before I leave today just to be sure. There's that one sound engineer whose ties are always an inch too short…

In any case, Sakano's blood pressure is hardly my main concern right now. The divorce hit the press with only minor repercussions, but grew substantially in public interest once the well supported rumors and candid photos of Hiroshi and I made the tabloids, many months after the fact, mind you. We are a far more sensible and subtle pair than Eiri and Shuichi, after all.

It is very strange to have gone from the recognized, respected but otherwise low key status of celebrity to being the true focus of interest for the first time in my career. How do Ryuichi and Eiri stand this? The questions they ask are so invasive and rude.

"Two more hours until we leave for the airport," Hiroshi murmurs behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing a kiss to my temple as I stare out of the window of my NG office. I'm taking him to Paris. My first vacation since my fifth anniversary with Mika. Will the NG building still be standing when I return?

"Stop worrying," Hiro says, reading my mind. I love it when he does that. Being understood is almost as amazing as being loved. In these six months we've been together he has simply taken my more neurotic aspects in stride. I think I amuse him.

"Who would have thought we'd be fighting off vultures at the airport for our own get away back then?" I muse. I've sent K in ahead of us, but that is never any guarantee of success.

"It doesn't matter what a bunch of strangers know. My mother knows. Now that was stressful," he says with a laugh, squeezing me tighter. He is every bit as private a person as I am, I know, but he's being strong for me. That's just the way he is. I thought I would mother hen him to death when this all started, especially given his age, but he has shown himself more than willing to take care of me as well.

My cell phone rings, and to my utter surprise it is Eiri.

"Hey, the brat and I aren't going to be able to see you off. Idiot fell off his bike and hit his head. Wonder it didn't crack the pavement... Anyway, he had to get stitches and he wouldn't stop whining until I called to let you both know," Eiri blows out impatiently, the sounds of traffic audible in the background as he drove.

"It's quite all right. It probably would have just made the press situation more frenzied in any case," I say, winking at Hiroshi.

"Yeah, well, that's all I had to say. See you when you get back," Eiri says, obviously eager to end the call. In all these months, I've let the matter slide, but in that moment, I just cannot resist.

"Eiri?"

"What now?"

"You certainly went to some extraordinary lengths, for you, in getting me to stop interfering with your life," I say, and smile at the ensuing silence.

"What of it? Worked didn't it?" he finally snaps.

"I just wanted to say thank you, Eiri," I say softly and hang up the phone.

"So? Two hours you said?" I say, turning around to face my lover with a meaningful look.

"Two whole, hopefully for the safety of anyone who tries, uninterrupted hours?" Hiro asks with a hopeful expression, already looking me up and down like he can't decided where to start.

"Let me just relay the outgoing death threat to my secretary," I say, shedding my jacket on the way to the phone on my desk, and giving him my widest smile, my real one, the one that is only for him.