Chapter Two - Bruce

Dr Bruce Banner liked tea. A lot. Just about as much Thor liked Pop Tarts.

Well, no one can love anything more than Thor love Pop Tarts, Bruce amended in his head as he shuffled around the large kitchen.

He froze when he heard something crash somewhere behind him. He tensed, and the sound of moaning – moaning! - joined the obviously unsteady footsteps. Bruce sighed. If it was Thor and Jane again, he was just going to never step foot in the kitchen again. He settled for ignoring the sounds as he prepared his tea; heating the water, getting the milk, shaking the sugar sachets…the ritual calmed him and helped him drown out the increasingly loud noises. Finally, something burst through the doors, startling Bruce.

Bruce exhaled quietly in defeat, closing his eyes, knowing he'd have to stop the Norse god and Dr Foster from embarrassing themselves further, though, knowing Thor, he wouldn't be shamed at all.

"Guys," he murmured, turning away from the corner to face them, "you can't just – Oh, God." What stood in front of Bruce were two entwined, half-naked, super spies.

"Na-Natasha, Clint, you –" The shock was enough for the Other Guy to whine in surprise at the back of Bruce's head.

Clint tore his mouth away from Natasha's to say four curt words: "Shut the fuck up, Bruce." He smashed his face back onto hers, and Bruce stood, astounded, for a minute. He shook his head like a dog clearing water from its ears, and then (in a very dignified way, Bruce thought, for the circumstances) exited the kitchen.

Outside the kitchen, Bruce bumped into Thor, who beamed brightly at the doctor.

"Ah, my shield brother! How do you fare this fine day? I came to get Pop Tarts!" Noticing his slightly pale complexion, Thor asked worriedly, "Are you okay, Bruce?"

"Uh, yeah. Just – Just don't go in the kitchen, okay?"

Right on cue, perhaps on purpose, Natasha groaned. Instead of deterring him, the god was only distressed.

"The Widow in Black! Is she okay?"

"Um, yeah," Bruce said, repeating himself. "Clint's, uhh, 'taking care of her'." Thor glanced at him, clueless.

"Uh – just, go talk to Dr Foster, Thor."

"Will Jane be able to tell me what is ailing my shield sister?"

"She should know," Bruce murmured under his breath, "you've been doing it to her non-stop." Thor beamed at him and pranced off in search of Jane. Bruce sighed again and took a sip of his tea, nearly cold and untouched. Hopefully those two would be done by the time he needed another cup.

"Natasha – Tasha, I-I have to ask you something."

"Yes?"
"Will – will you move in with me into the tower?"

"I - WHAT?"

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have expected this. Ah, well, he kept some emergency tea supplies in his lab, even if they weren't very good.