A/N: Hello everyone. I never forgot this story, it's just difficult to write when life seems to set it's heel on you and makes one feel hopeless. I'm not in the best state of mind, however I need an escape desperately, fiction being more palatable than reality. I hope my feelings don't affect this chapter, it's meant to be a hopeful one. We'll see how it goes, ne? See you on the other side, WHERE YOU SHOULD SKIP MY RANT! LONG-WINDED AUTHORS NOTE ALERT. Sorry…

She slipped one bag off her bed and pulled up another, careful to bend her knees as she lifted to avoid unnecessary strain to her lower back. Hanabi popped a bubble of gum and lounged at Hinata's desk, watching her sister with bored eyes to mask her growing feelings of loss.

"Onee-chan, why don't you let the servants do their job, and take me out somewhere before you go abandoning me in this lame-ass town?" Hanabi was whining, in her own way. Her voice was even, her tone was controlled, but Hinata couldn't suppress a fond smile because her little sister still couldn't hide how much she was already missing her big sis.

"Hanabi-chan, I'm not planning on taking everything with me. The apartment I'm renting was listed with storage being at a premium. If the maids were to pack, they will need direction. It saves much for me to do this myself." Hinata's reasonable explanation brought a sneer to Hanabi's lips. The younger sister huffed and swung a foot out to give an ill-intentioned kick at one of the brand new suitcases their father had gifted to Hinata.

Hanabi cringed as Hinata shot her a reprimanding look complete with pursed lips. Hinata watched as Hanabi uncharacteristically blushed and then quickly regained her defiant look with a pout and eye roll.

"So, what, I just say good bye to you and you leave? No quality time? When will I next see you, if everyone who goes away to university is always too busy? First Neji-nee, now you and what am I supposed to do all alone when Dad goes on his business trips?" Hanabi was muttering by the end of her rant, and Hinata felt a pinch to her heart with pity for her baby sister, usually so stoic and now quickly unravelling.

Hinata had always been the mother figure in her little sister's life. Their mother died soon after Hanabi was born, and the age-gap between the two meant that Hinata was seven by the time a 2 year old Hanabi was recognising that other kids had a mummy and a daddy, whilst she had just a daddy. Hinata's compassion drove her to fill this realised space for her baby sister, and Hanabi still needed her it seemed.

"I'll tell you what. You grab my going-out clothes and neatly fill this bag with me, and I'll see about taking you out for ice cream, okay? My flight leaves on Saturday, so we have almost a week to go wherever you want, okay?" Hanabi grinned evilly at Hinata, making her almost regret the offer she had just made. But it wasn't too much to entertain her little sister, especially when such a big scandal was due to happen and which was all Hinata's fault.

Hiashi Hyuuga had been startled, to say the least, when his elder daughter requested a meeting with him rather than wait to be summoned. The initiative intrigued him, and he was quiet as she evenly presented him with her proposal on her university of choice, the course and living quarters all well-researched, and a clear plan for future study and job opportunities. He had even glanced over the charts predicting employment rates in the current and future markets depending on specialisations Hinata could partake in within her chosen study.

Hinata had waited with bated breath as her father perused her prepared documentation after he had solemnly listened to her proposal, projections and justifications verbally. He had finally looked her in the eye and beckoned her to take a seat, which was promptly accepted with visible relief for she had been standing for nigh on an hour. Her proposal was approved and her father himself made arrangements with the apartment landowner. He had even accepted that she would move there within a fortnight in order to settle in and get a job.

Hiashi Hyūga watched his daughter walk out and noted the straight set of her shoulders and the even pace of her walk. In spite of how she had surprised him, he was glad of it for it meant his girl had grown and was sure of herself, and he no longer need to dictate to her for it seemed she was a bright and sensible girl who could care for herself. It was this very conclusion which made up the reason he did not oppose her plans. He was old, and wanted to be able to trust that his daughters would care for themselves. Otherwise how was a single parent to rest knowing that they could no longer protect their child?

Hanabi had already gotten Hinata to take her for a picnic in the botanical gardens, an afternoon at the arcades, down to the lake to sunbathe and swim (although that was such a flop because Hinata had gotten them there at sunrise so no one would see her in a swimsuit, and they'd left when the first other car arrived). Now she was building up for the theme park a town over, which she needed to persuade her sister to do a day ahead of schedule because it was a two hour drive there.

"Hinata." Hanabi was standing over her sister, poking her to wakefulness. Hinata had been awfully lazy lately, Hanabi noted. Maybe she was coming down with something…

"Hinata." Hanabi kept poking the same spot on her sister's shoulder, determined to succeed in spite of the fact that Hinata may be tired. She could sleep on the plane, geez!

"Hi-", Hanabi was cut off at the clearing of a throat from the door. She turned her head slowly to see Neji.

"Hanabi?" Neji queried, watching the thirteen year old poke her sister repetitively, and wondering why she would do such a thing, the disapproval clear over his face.

"I'm waking the lazy butt. She's taking me shopping today, we need to leave now." Hanabi left out the part where she planned to get a full sugary breakfast at the pancake place and there set Hinata's mood to content and accepting.

Neji rubbed his neck in consternation, aware Hinata had made some commitment, but also having lately noticed that she was looking pallid and ill a lot of the time.

"Perhaps you should come back in a half hour? She looks fairly exhausted and it is only 8 AM…"Neji was trying to be reasonable, but saw a twitch by Hanabi's eye which said she was this close to blowing a gasket.

"I've been at this for an hour?!" she was incredulous. How had an hour gone by and Hinata not woken up?!

"You poked her for an hour and she didn't wake?!" Neji was incredulous. He strode over and checked Hinata's temperature, which was surprisingly cold for the middle of summer huddled beneath a blanket.

"Hanabi, go fetch the maid and ask her to bring a body monitor." Hanabi gulped, realising maybe it was something besides Hinata's stubbornness which kept her from leaving the bed. And Saturday was only two days away!

Hanabi's pounding steps disturbed Hiashi in his office, and he stood and made his way to the door, opening it just as a maid and Hanabi rushed past without registering Hiashi's presence in the doorway. He followed at a sedate pace to see where the fire was.

Several maids were congregated before Hinata's door, and Hiashis sternly dismissed them to their business before looking into a bedroom that he hadn't glimpsed in almost four years. Ever since he had realised his daughter had reached and exceeded puberty, he had avoided this part of the house. He just didn't know what to do with older girls growing into women.

"What seems to be wrong?" Hiashi intoned, startling the maid checking Hinata's temperature with an electric monitor. Neji and Hanabi also started, but waited anxiously for the maid to say something.

"She is pale and her eyelids show signs she is anemic, Hiashi-sama. She has no temperature, but I suggest a doctor be called to better assess and prescribe for her." Hiashi looked at his daughter, the dark smudges beneath her eye and the yellow pallor to her skin, and felt his heart drop. He had to send her away to study? She might die! But he controlled himself and nodded, pulling out a cell phone and speed dialling the family physician. He would prepare her, but he could not hold onto them forever, he mused, watching his two daughters and nephew. Sorrow gathered in his breast, as he alerted the doctor to the situation and was to expect his arrival soon.

Neji ended up driving the two of them to the theme park because Hinata insisted that they still go and would have driven herself if he didn't intervene. She claimed she was better after a single day of bed rest, but now she was on a host of multivitamins and other nutritional pills because apparently she was deficient in a host of things.

The doctor had sent her blood out for testing and by evening had gotten back to Hinata, the legal adult, with the information. Hinata had insisted that she deal with it, persuading her father that it was best if she managed her health as it was how she would fare when she was at University. Neji swore he had seen a sheen of tears in Hiashi's eyes, but they were gone so fast it may have been a trick of the light.

By the end of the day, Neji almost regretted having driven the two sisters. Hinata's low blood pressure meant she couldn't go on most rides, so Neji had to accompany Hanabi on every dirty, loud, fast and stupid ride the girl wanted to go on. Hinata had followed behind holding the prizes and show bags Hanabi collected obsessively. One would think they had brought a class full of kindergarteners to the park, not a single thirteen year old with the amount of paraphernalia Hinata was lugging!

The way back was peaceful, with Hanabi and Hinata both passed out in the back, Hanabi resting her head on Hinata's lap and Hinata resting her head against the door, fingers tangled in Hanabi's hair from when she had been stroking it. Neji felt a lump in his throat as he recognised that Hanabi had been trying to hold onto Hinata for as long as possible. Hinata was leaving the next day, and Hanabi wouldn't even get to say goodbye because Hinata was leaving at dawn.

Hinata quietly made her way down the hall, rolling her cabin bag behind her. She peeked into Hanabi's room, and snuck over to kiss her little sister, murmuring a farewell in her ear. She wrore a note on a post-it from Hanabi's desk, sticking it on the mirror of Hanabi's dressing table, before exiting the room and continuing to the entrance hall, where to her surprise Neji and her father were standing.

Neji came forward and hugger her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he tousled her hair, his version of a farewell.

Hiashi stood there and Hinata came to stand before him. The two looked at one another.

"Take care Otou-san, I will keep in touch, but still…m-miss you." Hinata was sniffling, as she looked into her father's eyes. Hiashi felt his mouth tighten, as he swallowed, and opened his arms in invitation. Hinata threw herself into his hug, sure this was the last time she could even hug her father, sure he would never speak to her for shame after she brought the life growing inside her into the world. Hiashi squeezed her back, pressing his face into her head, breathing her in deeply because it was hard to let go.

"And you, Hinata. Take care, and let me know if you need anything." Hiashi was already pushing a wad of money into her pocket, which Hinata protested but one look silenced her.

"Your mother would have loved to see you so grown, making your decisions and planning, being so grown." Hiashi pulled her back into a hug, before he and Neji watched her put her shoes on and pull her bag out, handing it to the waiting chauffer, waving at them before she got into the dark car. The red taillights glowed into the distance of the coming dawn, Hiashi finally sighing heavily and shutting the door. Turning, he looked at his nephew, saw the likeness to his dead-twin, and swallowed gruffly. Neji returned the gaze evenly, feeling unsure.

"It is hard…to let go of family, even when it is their choice to leave. It is hard to trust that they are making the correct decision." Hiashi was solemn, his words heavy with meaning. Neji understood this, understood the double intention behind his uncle's words.

"Fate…has a way of working to give and take. Yin and yang…I lost my brother, but gained a son…I lost my wife, and she gave me a daughter…" Hiashi's voice was low to keep from cracking. Neji swallowed.

"I…lost my father, and gained a family…"He completed, and Hiashi looked at him long, his gaze settling and his shoulder's seeming less burdened.

"It is the way of the world…" Hiashi nodded, laying a hand on his nephew's shoulder, surprising himself with the height he had to raise his hand, then chuckling to have it suddenly thrown in his face that the young boy nephew was now a young man.

"Yes uncle, it is the way. Patience is all we have to traverse it without losing ourselves in the lows and forgetting ourselves with the high's."

"Indeed." Hiashi was smiling now, patting his nephew's shoulder once in appreciation. "I am glad you understand so much about the way, nephew."

"It is from listening to the message beneath the underneath, uncle." Neji smiled back, and the two turned to continue their discussion of the Tao in the kitchen over green tea.

Hinata thanked the taxi driver for his assistance in unloading her bags as the realtor impatiently tapped her foot on the sidewalk. The place was already paid for, this teenager was wasting her time with pleasantries when she could just take the key, the tour and go!

"Um…I am not sure…How much am I supposed to tip you?" Hinata was blushing, not wanting to insult the helpful taxi driver but also worried because she was now on a budget of saving for single parenthood and the student life.

"Well, it cost you 43 dollars from the airport to this place, so I guess we'll round to a fifty?" The man grinned, thinking how cute this kid was, asking him to tell her the tip. She had actually had to detour twice because she'd asked him to stop for coffee and then had him drive to some bookstore before making his route to the apartment, but the little lady was so polite that he didn't tell her it was closer to sixty what she owed. Besides, she had bought food and coffee for him too, so he figured he'd cut her a break.

Hinata paid and he touched his hat in some semblance of cheeky acknowledgment before driving off. The realtor huffed her relief, and Hinata turned to the woman, still smiling.

"Well, here's your key's, as you can see, this house is a sort of villa, sort of townhouse…But the gaps between your place and your neighbours' means it's more of a villa, and you can just fit into that gap if you want to maybe start up a flower patch, or something."

Hinata nodded along as the realtor led her on a tight squeeze around to the back of the rental, into a tiny 4m by 1m garden.

"Here you have a modest patch of sun, great for relaxing in the afternoon, the neighbours are all mostly elderly so it's a fairly quiet neighbourhood." The disapproval of any break in that quiet was clear, and Hinata murmured her appreciation of quiet to appease the realtor.

"Now, we have some reinforced doors, front and back, and you can see the security bars on the windows. It's a low crime area, but you can never be too careful, so keep your doors locked always." The woman continued, pulling out the keys for the back and showing them to Hinata. There were three different locks to work on, and the door was a heavy oak door.

"The house was built in the mid-40's, so…and the clad outer work is covering very soundproof brick. You'll have plenty of shelter from any noise with the double-glass windows. The last tenant made all sorts of little updates, like the bathroom-" Here they peered into a room adjacent to the laundry they had entered from the back door. "You can see the clawfoot tub has been fitted with a frosted glass door and concrete steps so you don't slip going in and out on the wet tiles, and there's a lovely wall-length mirror, ceramic toilet, new sink with cabinet, and a heated towel rack. If you'll follow me-"

Hinata was almost dizzy from listening to 'Brenda's' tour, as the nametag on her blouse proclaimed. She hurried Hinata into the kitchen, which was fitted with a breakfast bench under a skylight.

"This is the kitchen, the stove is electric, so is the oven, and there's an exhaust fitted just over that to whisk away any smells as you cook. A lovely breakfast nook over there, wooden benches so you can redecorate. All new cabinets, freshly painted. Plenty of bench space, come-" Brenda strode towards the next door. This opened into a hallway with two doors and an archway at the end of the hall.

"Two bedrooms, both newly carpeted compared to the timber floors in the rest of the house. This is the master, you can see it has a built-in robe, the other room is slightly smaller, all white paint, lovely, keep walking-" Hinata barely had time to whip her head back and forth as they passed the open doors towards the archway.

"Leading into the living room and there are your bags! There's a blocked up fireplace, lovely feature piece, you have a gorgeous bay window, courtesy of the original structure also, and it has a bench underneath, good window seat, the bars on the window great security, the door also reinforced and oak, sturdy hinges. Any questions?" Hinata gaped as Brenda suddenly turned on her with a wide beaming smile, and Hinata shook her head dumbly.

"Good." Brenda purred, holding out the keys, stepping past the door and waving once as she said her good bye.

"I hope you enjoy your stay, any questions can be directed to our head office, ba-bye now!" Brenda was already in her car and had pulled out onto the street from the driveway as Hinata moved to look out at her lawn, the wrought iron fence and neglected flower beds shining at her with promise. She loved this place.

Hinata shut and remembered to lock the door as the woman had told her, heading back to do the same with the back door, realising the last owner had installed several skylights which were why the interior was so bright in spite of the crowding neighbours. She opened the kitchen window which glimpsed into her small garden, and headed to pull her bags into her room, ready to unpack and settle in as her furniture was due to arrive sometime in the afternoon.

Her father may have approved her moving there early to settle in, but for some reason he insisted she order her furniture as soon as possible and set a delivery date. He had then sent one of his PA's so manage the transfer of funds and paperwork on the rental, as well as the date of arrival for furniture to coincide with her arrival in California. Hinata was grateful, knowing that she would have been hard pressed to go shopping for furniture and set it up herself, especially in her hidden condition.

Hinata had already hung up her clothes and was lounging on the convenient window seat, watching the street outside for a delivery van to arrive. She was picturing how she would arrange her cute couches, and where she would put her crockery and pottery and her tea things, how she would position her bed, and dresser, and her study table. She was ignorant of a black car driving past slowly, twice pausing and speeding up in front of her new place. She was unaware as it parked across the street in front of a neighbour's house.

When a van pulled up with the name of the furniture company before her place, Hinata jumped up in excitement. The horn hadn't sounded once when she threw the door open. Her father's PA was pulling up in a car soon after, grinning as she greeted Hinata and they together directed the movers as to where to put the furniture.

The PA disappeared inside the van and Hinata turned to watch the progress of her couch as it was twisted to fit through the door, the legs unattached. No one noticed the zoom lens of a camera peering at Hinata from a black car across the street. Hinata heard a car driving off and turned to see the tail end of some black car disappearing around the corner. She was none the wiser.

A/N: So, that was a really long time coming. I apologise, and hope such a delay is avoidable in future. I specifically apologise to umnia, who twice reminded me? Pm'd, and I kept thinking of her as I pushed myself to make time to write this story. I have my reasons for why, and I find them difficult to talk about. I am having a bit of a rough time right now. I am not going so well in my studies, and I will say this. I am making Hinata a hell of a lot more strong than I am myself to get through her studies and care for her baby.

BTW Neji and Hiashi talk about Tao/Dao. I find this part of the Taoist faith easy to relate to in my own faith. I believe that the balance of finding the way sounds like acceptance because of the gives and takes of life. That we suffer to both appreciate what we gain and what we had and what we have, and that this makes us stronger because we treasure what is still with us and we can see the value of something. totally philosophical, but it's kind of like the positive psychology of trauma, wherein your psychological wellbeing grows after having suffered through trauma. Read up on it, may be interesting.

The REST of this A/N is UNECESSARY. BUT…it makes me feel better to pretend someone reads this. So! Until next time…

…

…

I don't endorse any childcare, but I wish I did because I'm sure I would make my life easier, and the people who work in childcare in Australia actually had studied to do so. I feel guilty however, much of the time. I have difficulty letting go of my shortcomings, my bad choices and am afraid of making similar bad decisions, so I keep trying to cope with the way things are. I know I am wrong to do so, probably. I am studying psychology but can't help myself. I keep reminding myself that there's not long now to go, just another year and a half. But I also know that there would only be a half a year left if I had not failed almost half of the units I attempted.

Anyways. I am relieved that I finally wrote this chapter. I have found no benefit to procrastinating, and no benefit to avoiding fiction writing to focus on my studies – because at least when I am writing I am at the computer, it makes it easier to turn to my studies when I am done. My avoiding my laptop because of writers block just saw me cleaning instead, or cooking, or reading fiction on my phone. Everything but what I'm meant to focus on was done.

Please, if you can get help, get it. Trust me, when you hold your tongue and try to power on when you know you're struggling, you'll just burn yourself out. And when you get depressed because of it all, it's hard to pull yourself out. I am depressed, dear reader. I am fine some days and others I feel a…inside me feels hopeless, I don't want to do anything, the most basic chore takes huge mental effort, I lose track of time in my head, I stop caring about myself, and I put a face on for the world. If you can seek help, do it. If you can talk to someone, anyone, speak out. My own fears of other's opinions cripple my tongue, and so I set the speech into black and white, digitally send it out. Then you, anonymous me, interaction…It takes a little of the weight from my shoulders, sets my mind slightly at ease.

So if you read this, thank you for giving me that courtesy. I'm too much of a coward to speak to anyone in my life about this, I guess I am ashamed because I know I don't have it that bad – but I still have difficulty coping. I am doing better now, as I am able to let my words flow on paper again. For a time they have been locked in my head, bitter words which pursue me even in dreams. Being able to let them go with a pen or by typing is a relief. No one reads it, but that I was able to write it down gives me order, helps me make sense of myself, helps me direct myself logically. It is crippling when the only thing you are good at becomes lost to you. So I am thankful I can write again.

THANKS FOR READING, UNTIL NEXT TIME!