Hey there, my loves. Sorry for the delay. Some real life angst took my writing to off mode, but I'm back. I have to thank my real life angst, though. It sure does inspire me to write afterward.

Thank you SunflowerFran3759 for your awesome beta skills. If there are any mistakes, they're mine for adding things after her review.

Chapter 23

He hadn't forgotten how her warm skin made him feel, but there was something about the actual contact that made the memory weak in comparison.

He could feel her pulse on her neck, beating against his lips, and how desperately she grabbed on to the back of his head as he kissed her.

And kiss her he did.

It was a journey of kissing: from her cheeks to her jaw and then to her soft lips. It was familiar and at the same time reviving.

"I've missed you," Tommy says against his lips.

"As I have missed every inch of you."

She giggles and returns to kissing him. They find their way to her bed and slowly, every article of their clothing ends up on the floor.

He kisses her neck, collarbone and then her breasts. She hums when he takes her right nipple into his mouth. He smiles against her skin as she huffs in frustration when his wandering hand stops at her flat stomach.

"I need you, Edward," she breathes.

"You have me."

It's real.

All of it.

The vibrant colors in her eyes, the air filling her lungs, her tight hold on his arms as he enters her and the blood running its course through her veins. It all makes her alive and no longer just a memory.

Her legs wrap around his waist as his arms do around her back as he moves with her. It's as if they need to become one; to get so close that there will never be anything else in the world that matters more than the taste of their skin, and the beating of their hearts. It's as if reviving shocks of life are being sent to each other's wounded souls.

~Tommy~

When the sun rises, its light sneaks into their apartment, illuminating her bare skin. Edward runs his fingertips over her hipbone, up her womanly curves and the peaks of her breasts.

"You're beautiful," he whispers against her ear.

With eyes closed, she smiles and caresses his stubbly chin. She doesn't say anything and pulls his face down to hers, as she places a tender kiss on his mouth.

"Stay with me," she whispers as she wraps him in a tight hug against her body.

He can hear a hint of brokenness in her voice.

"I am here," he says, caressing her naked back.

"No," she cries. "Stay with me forever. I never want to remember how it feels to miss you to the point of paralyzing pain. Promise me I'll never feel that again."

He pulls back to look into her eyes. He wipes the tears from her blushed cheeks and uses his thumb to smooth the crinkles of worry from her forehead as he softly kisses her lips.

"I promise."

~Tommy~

"I promise I'm okay. I'm alive, and I have a good job now. I'm making a lot of money," Edward says, smiling at the way his sister stays silent.

"I just … you sound different. But good. Are you sure you're okay?"

"You said it yourself Sis; I sound good, so it means I am,"

"I'm tired of worrying about you, Edward. I just want you to find happiness."

"You don't have to worry about me anymore, Alice."

~Tommy~

Edward is amazed at how quickly life can change. One day he was feeling lost and weary and the next he has Tommy laughing her ass off at Jasper's stories while they hang out at a local BBQ restaurant and bar.

He smiles when tipsy Tommy snuggles into his shoulder and wraps her small arms around him. They sit in a corner booth and the feeling of normality; something Edward had never quite found, finally takes over him.

He had always been envious of those people who seemed not to have a worry in the world and who could sit back without a weight on their shoulders.

But now, as he looks down at Tommy, he thinks to himself that maybe, just maybe, they can be like those people.

They dance the night away before sleeping in on Sunday.

On Monday, they all work, but Edward can't wait to get home and be with her.

Home.

He isn't too sure how Tommy, the gypsy wannabe, would feel about that word. But each time he arrives at their now-shared apartment, the grin on her face relaxes him and fills him with peace.

If this isn't home, he doesn't know what is.

"You took forever to get here!" She exaggerates while squeezing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his shoulder.

He chuckles.

"You were on my mind and distracted me while I was trying to get here."

"Wow. Your level of cheese is at expert." She smirks.

He chuckles again. "You are the cause of this, woman," he whispers and nibbles on her cheek. She giggles and tries to push him off, but she isn't trying too hard and remains in his arms while he teases her.

He showers and they eat dinner on their tiny kitchen table while Tommy tells him one of her many stories of her time away from him. He soon forgets about his food and only stares at the way her brown eyes sparkle with every bit of detail she shares. Although he will never admit it, something deep in his heart aches selfishly over the fact that he did not get to be part of those memories. However, he is happy she has lived them.

After all, that had always been her dream.

To live.

He lies in bed while she showers, reading through a tattered book she gifted him. He reads the same sentence a few times, unable to focus on anything else besides her terrible singing. He laughs when she hums through the parts she doesn't know.

But then his laughter ends when she exits their bathroom in only a t-shirt, and her tune has turned into a bad version of a seductive song.

With an exaggerated turn of her body, along with a wink, she slowly makes her way to him.

Still singing, she crawls on the bed, towards him.

"You know," he starts, "you don't have to seduce me."

"No?" She asks as she straddles his lap. He runs his hands up her bare thighs and keeps them at her waist, giving a gentle squeeze.

"Nope. I already think you're hot," he says, waggling his eyebrows. She laughs, playfully swatting at his chest.

"Ugh, you're sooo romantic. Jerk."

"What can I say? I'm a natural."

She smiles when he gently runs the back of his fingers across her cheek. A sigh leaves her before she tenderly places her lips against his.

He realizes the mood has suddenly changed and kisses her deeply. When he moves back to admire his work, she takes a deep breath making him chuckle.

"Now you're just showing off. I never want to be kissed another way. So come on, go to it again," she says, playfully puckering her lips.

He grins and kisses her again.

"You're a horrible singer by the way."

She lets out an exaggerated gasp but quickly starts laughing when he starts singing for no reason.

~Tommy~

"I used to look at every girl in the face as I walked to my apartment just to make sure they weren't you. Was I crazy?" He asks as she draws circles on his bare chest with her fingertips.

She smiles. "If you were then I was, too. I swore to myself that I had seen you a few times. Fuck, I missed you."

"I love you," he says against her mouth.

She doesn't respond. She hasn't responded all three times he said it. But this time is different. Her eyes look anywhere that is not him.

"Edward, I …" she breathes in as if it's a difficult task. "You don't know how much it means to me when you say that to me. It's so …" She struggles to speak what's on her mind. She grasps the collar of his t-shirt as if it will help her keep her thoughts together. "It's so powerful; I think I lose my sense of balance; as if the whole world stops, and I fall out." She takes hold of his face with her hands and kisses him. "I fear that I will never be able to explain to you what you make me feel. It'll never be enough."

They make love, and when the morning comes, Edward can't help but grin, when even in her sleep, she searches for him. Her hand wanders over the empty space between them until she finds what she needed. When she does, she places a hand over his bare chest and keeps it there until she wakes an hour later.

~Tommy~

Time quickly passes. Edward and Tommy fall into a routine led by their ability to sit back and let life happen.

On days off, they take Tommy's truck and ride around to nearby towns or states, enjoying lakes, rivers, and the city life. But when the time indicates that a new work day is about to start, they head back home.

The holidays are nearing.

Halloween is spent with Jasper and Maria, and Tommy seems to give no indication that she has anything in mind for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

He hasn't told his family about her.

He hasn't revealed to them that Tommy is alive and with him. If it were up to him, they would have known the day he had first seen her again.

But Tommy made it clear.

Nobody was to know where she was, especially nobody from Forks.

He hadn't really known why she had requested and insisted this. He hadn't questioned it and hadn't cared much since he had Tommy again, but now its six months later, and all he wants is to tell his family that he has found the woman he loves. He wants them to know that he wasn't crazy, and he was right in his search for her because now he is the happiest he has ever been.

"No," Tommy says, without even giving it a chance or a look towards Edward.

"But why?"

"Edward, I don't even know why you're asking. You know why. I never want to go back to Forks."

"Then what if we meet my family in another town?"

"No … I can't see them. I don't want to see them."

"It's the holidays."

"Edward, the holidays for me were always bullshit. Nobody in my house celebrated. There were no dinners or gifts, no shitty, dry turkey or ugly sweaters. There were just fights and a lot of cussing and shit being thrown around."

"I am sorry that you had to live through that, but you won't with Dad and Alice. I know they would be so happy to see you."

"No. They'd ask me questions and look at me like I'm some hurt puppy. I don't want their pity."

"That's nonsense. They just want to know if you're alive and okay."

"Stop!" Tommy shouts, and Edward is sure they're having their first fight. "I don't owe those people an explanation or answers. They may have acted concerned, but in the end, they were still part of the people in Forks. They're still Forks."

"I'm Forks!" He shouts back.

"No! You're different. Why can't you just give up? Just stay with me," she says and runs her hands over his forearms. "Love me and be there for me, but don't force me to do things I can't.

"I'm not trying to force you. I just want to tell the people I love that you're with me."

"Well, you can go on and see them, but I'm not going with you," she says sternly and pulls out of his arms.

"Why do you have to be like this?"

"Like what?"

"Stubborn as hell! Always have been."

"When I finally decided to run away from that place, I also decided that I would never do anything I didn't want."

"Do you want to be with me?" Edward asks.

"Of course I do!"

"Then you have to accept that I love my father and sister and that I want to see them."

"Then go without …"

"No! How can you do this to me? They're important to me and I'm tired of lying to them. Come with me. They did care about you and they still do."

Tommy lets out a bitter laugh. "Nobody cared about me, Edward. Nobody gave a shit."

"I gave a shit. I fucking love you."

"You truly think that seeing your family will do me any good?"

"Of course it will."

"Edward, look at me," she says pointing at herself. "I've always been white trash to them. I don't have a college degree like they do. Like you. I'm just some fucked up girl you love. They'll hate me for ruining you."

"You haven't ruined anything," he says as she sits on their couch.

"I'm ruined, Edward, and they'll see that right away."

"Why can't you just let me love you and let others see that? We can be a family."

"You can love me. But don't ask me to be something I'm not. I've never been part of a normal family and never will. I will never be a normal wife who stays at home, taking care of our perfect lives while you work. I will never have the girlfriends over for fucking tea. I don't know even know if I want to be a mom. Imagine me as a mother?"

"You're acting as if I'm asking you to be those things all at once and right at this moment. If you don't want any of that, then we don't have to do it. I'm just asking you to really be with me … Which includes spending time with my family."

"I am really with you. I would have been living in three different towns by now. But I'm here with you."

"Is that what it is?" He asks and angrily stomps over to one of her maps. He grabs it and places it on her lap. "Where do you want to go? Don't let me stop you; I don't want you to resent me. Where do you want to fucking go? Where do you want to run away to now? What place is going to make you feel better about leaving everything behind? And do you even want me to come?"

She lets out a small sob as her tears fall on the map, hitting it like bullets. She stares at it and cries and cries.

He sighs and kneels at her feet. He places a finger under her chin and softly kisses her. "Tommy, my love, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm just an asshole. An asshole that loves you so much that he doesn't know how to handle it."

She doesn't answer and continues to cry.

"Tell me. Tell me how to fix it. What can I do?" He asks, holding her face in his hands

"Nothing," she whispers brokenly. "I'm just a selfish person."

"You deserve to be after all those years. But you have me now. You'll have me for as long as you want."

"If you only knew," she cries. "If you only knew the demons that have always had their fingers painfully wrapped around my arms. You'd leave me; I'm sure you would."

"You're wrong."

"No! Can't you see? I'm trying to run away from them and if you take me back to that place … to that town, they would find me again, and I'm not sure I'm strong enough anymore. I'd die!"

"He won't hurt you, Tommy," he cries, tears running down his face. "He won't ever hurt you again."

"What?" She gasps. She quickly stands, backing away from him. "What are you talking about?"

He swallows the lump in his throat. "Your Uncle Felix."

Her eyes widen, and her mouth drops. She takes a few more steps back, hitting the wall behind her. "No! You can't know. No!"

"Tommy," he whispers and tries to touch her, but she quickly slaps his hands away.

"No! You can't know …" she cries in shame.

"You have nothing to be afraid of; I know what he did to you and I know why you're so hurt. I've been waiting for you tell me yourself, but I see that you were afraid that I'd hate you for it. But Tommy, my heart is full of love for you. So full. I could never hate you for something that isn't your fault. I won't ever leave you. I'll protect you from those demons you're so afraid of. There's nothing wrong in having someone along to help you."

She doesn't look his way and only sobs into her hands. She slips down the wall and wraps her arms around her legs, hiding her face in her cocoon of shame.

He tries pulling her out of it, but she pushes him away. "Please, Tommy. I'm so sorry."

"No!" She cries. "Please, just leave! Leave me alone!"

"You're asking the impossible."

"Go! I don't want you to love me anymore."

"Well, it's too late," he cries.

"You weren't supposed to find out. You weren't supposed to know. How can you still love me … I'm so worthless."

"No, Tommy, you're everything. You're my life." He sobs, not believing the pain in his chest.

"Please, Edward. Just go. If you love me, just let me be," she whispers, still not looking up from her shame.

He waits.

He waits for minutes or hours.

She doesn't move and only repeats for him to leave.

He finally stands and gives her the space she needs. He sits outside the apartment door and leans against it and cries into his hands.

There is never a moment he believes that leaving is the thing to do. He sits there on the hard floor, letting his body ache in protest as his eyes and mind beg for rest. He stares at the white wall in front of him, listening to the silence of the night. There is no sound coming from the apartment. There is no sign she is going to come after him. There is no reason for him to believe she'll change her mind and come find him to tell him that she loves him and wants to work things out.

But he doesn't move.

There is no question or even thought of leaving. He doesn't care long he will have to wait or for how long the pain in his chest will reside there.

It doesn't matter.

He knew loving Tommy would hurt. She would have to find the strength to accept herself, and he was ready to hurt for as long as it took her.

He dozes off for a minute, but the creek of the old door makes him snap his eyes open.

Tommy slowly steps out of her small apartment, looking around the hall with desperation until her eyes land on him. She's had the same night as he has. Her eyes are puffy, and her cheeks are still wet from her tears. But she's still beautiful as ever.

"Edward?" She gasps.

He quickly stands, ignoring the pain in his muscles and bones.

"Tommy," he says.

She runs into his chest, tightly wrapping her arms around him. She cries into his shirt, grasping at him as if hoping he doesn't slip away. "I'm sorry," she whimpers. "I'm sorry, please don't leave me."

He wraps his arms around her small body and kisses her forehead. "I promised I wouldn't."

She continues to cry, her sobs vibrating in his chest. "I love you," she says. "I love you so much, Edward. I love you. I love you."

"I love you, too. I'm here, Tommy."

"I know," she says. "I finally see that."

We're close to the end. One more chapter and then an epilogue.

But please let me know what your thoughts are on this chapter. It was a tough one to write.

Follow me on Twitter at HelloElla90

See ya next time.