Collection of Memories

Summery: Hikaru quit go after Sai left him and he moved with his family to America. But even as he finds a new obsession, go is still on his mind. Will Hikaru make his way back to Japan and his destiny with go?

Disclaimer: Only the original idea is mine, not Hikaru no Go

Prologue – The Disappearance of Shindou Hikaru.

Hikaru woke up with a start. Something seemed wrong as the light fell into his room through half open curtains. He couldn't figure it out though. Maybe Sai would know.

"Hey, Sai…" His voice trailed off as he looked around for the go ghost. "Sai?"

It was strange for his personal go teacher not to make a ruckus when he found out Hikaru was awake. This morning Sai wasn't making any noise.

Hikaru stood up cautiously, noting a strange lightness in his head. "You aren't mad about me falling a sleep during our game, are you Sai?"

He tore his room apart from floor to ceiling but the ghost was nowhere to be found. Still dressed in yesterday's clothes, Hikaru ran for all his might, hoping to find Sai and for the strange feeling to go away. It was only when he knelt by Shuusaku's grave did Hikaru realize the feeling in his head was emptiness and that Sai was gone, probably for good.

-X-

"Hikaru, telephone." His mother called upstairs.

The sleepy boy came out of the room, dressed in pajamas and rubbing his eyes. "Who is it?"

"A friend, Waya."

Hikaru shook his head. "I can't talk to him."

Mitsuko frowned at her son. He had been acting odd ever since last week and hardly left the house. Hikaru only left for school but phone calls home revealed he never arrived at his destination. She had initially thought it was for go but when the Go Association called asking why he had missed his game, Mitsuko realized something was wrong. She gave a half reply to the person on the other end of the phone before hanging up to find Hikaru, who had retreated to his room.

-x-

The knock on the door received no answer so Mitsuko entered the room. She was surprised to see his precious goban covered up with a haphazard pile of Go Weekly and shoved in the corner.

"Hikaru," She began but stopped when she noticed him.

Her son sat on his bed, wrapped in a blanket and staring out the window. The look in his eyes alerted her to a problem that he wouldn't talk about. She had never seen his eyes so full of despair, yet void of emotion and she quietly left the room.

Anytime someone called for Hikaru, Mitsuko remembered the look in his eyes and covered for him, saying he was unavailable right now and he would get back to them as soon as he was able.

-X-

By June, the haunted look still hadn't left Hikaru's eyes. Mitsuko worried for him but Hikaru never shared his problem, only shook his head miserably.

Hikaru knew his mother worried about him but couldn't answer her questions. He had been gone from the Go World for almost a month now and still stayed at home whenever he wasn't by the grave of Shuusaku or wandering around.

This evening he was wandering the streets alone in the dark. Despite the disappearance of Sai, Hikaru still found himself talking to the ghost like he was there.

'Nice night, isn't it?'

He could imagine the ghost's gleeful reply or else hurried comment, either telling Hikaru to hurry up and get home or agreeing with the Hikaru's words.

'Yeah, I agree with ya, Sai.' It didn't matter what he was agreeing to, if only Sai could be with him.

He felt his eyes tear up and quickly brushed his sleeve against them. 'How about a game of blind go?'

…

'Yeah, I'll start.'

During the time Sai was still with him, Hikaru had made kifu of some of Sai's games. Some were games he and Sai had played together but most were with other people, from on the Internet or when Hikaru was the man in between in person.

It had already been a fairly large collection but in this past month, hundreds of games were transcribed onto paper from memory. The stack grew and grew as Hikaru committed each and every last game he remembered onto paper. They were mainly games Hikary played with Sai and some were other online games but several were games that Sai played in his past life, as Honnibo Shuusaku or even way back as the Emperor's go tutor.

Even with the games already in his memory, Hikaru studied the kifu. He replayed the games by himself, pulling out the goban that he could not look at without thinking of Sai. But he also played them mentally, analyzing the game as he went along and he did this now.

'4-12'

'13-5'

'4-10'

The beginning was quickest, as he could easily understand the reasons for marking territory but as the game progressed, he took the time to dissect Sai's moves.

'2-15, a good move. It connects the two pieces while blocking my advance.'

'17-12. It was meant to draw me in to protect that cluster and prevented me from attacking the weak spot over there.'

He tried to analyze the games like Sai, hearing the ghost's voice justifying the moves he made. Every now and then, Hikaru would think of a spot that would break Sai's formation or territory that might let Hikaru win but the voice he longed for in his mind never replied.

-X-

It was after dark that same night when he returned home. He cringed to think what his parents would say and he tried to enter the house as quietly as possible. But the light in the living room was on and both his parents turned as he entered.

"Um, hi." He said stupidly, not know what else to say. He looked at his father and realized he hadn't seen him in a really long time.

"Dad, you're back."

His father nodded and looked at his mother who looked at Hikaru. Already he could tell something was up by the look on his parent's faces.

"Hikaru, your father got a job transfer offer and seeing as you're going though something right now, we decided to accept. We're moving to America in about two months."

Hikaru frowned for a moment at the words even before their meaning sank in. "America? But what about the things here?"

His mother smiled sadly. "We thought that now would be the best time. You've been taking a break from school and go so we thought…"

"No!"

It came out sharper than Hikaru meant and he sputtered a moment as his parents looked at him.

"But I have to stay!"

Hikaru realized he knew what his parents were thinking before they voiced it. "Why?"

He didn't know what to say other than a "Because…" His voice trailed off as the only reason was because maybe his ghost might come back.

"Please can I stay?" He tried to change tactics but his parents saw through him. He was going to America, whether he liked it or not. And he definitely did not like it.

Hikaru sulked alone in his room for days but as it was hardly any different than the past month, his parents paid him no attention.

The only thing Hikaru was to do before leaving was pack up his room and inform the Go Association of the move. The first task was not going to be pleasant but he dreaded the second and vowed to put it off as long as necessary.

-X-X-X-

Waya looked at his phone in frustration. Just before Hikaru's mother had hung up, he had heard a few whispered words, words that were probably Hikaru. He growled.

"What happened? Anything new?"

Waya spun around to see Touya-2 dan behind him. Ever since Hikaru's disappearance a month ago, the two had joined forces to try to find their friend.

-x-

Akira had gone to Haze Junior High, looking for Hikaru. When he asked about his rival, others told him he hadn't been to school for a while, matching with how long he hadn't been seen at the Go Association. They all pointed him to a friend, who lived next door to him.

She introduced herself as Akari, a childhood friend of Hikaru's. She told Akira that Hikaru had seemed upset near the beginning of May and stopped coming to school shortly after. She had stopped by his house several times but his mother turned her away at the door, saying firmly that Hikaru wasn't up to visiting anyone at the moment.

Seeing the look of concern of Arira's face, she dug around and gave him Hikaru's number.

-x-

It was when Akira was trying the phone number Akari had given him that he and Waya joined forces. They were both worried about their friend. Waya had even hunted down Hikaru's house but he was blocked at the door. He had noticed Shindou-san looking at something that was hidden from view and guessed it was Hikaru shaking his head, judging from her reaction but he didn't want to make a scene and left. He would be able to get Hikaru back later, wouldn't he?

-X-

The first place Isumi went after returning from China was Waya's house. He had just been leaving the country when one of his new Chinese friends asked him if he knew what was wrong with a pro called Shindou Hikaru. When Isumi replied the affirmative, he was asked if he knew anything about what had happened to him. Not knowing anything about it, Isumi suffered on the flight, worrying about his friend.

-x-

"Isumi!" Waya looked surprised and Isumi couldn't blame him. His flight had only landed a little while ago and he had rushed across the city to see his friend.

"Waya, what is happening with Shindou-kun?"

Waya glanced behind him and Isumi noticed the other person in Waya's apartment.

"Touya-kun?"

The boy nodded. "We don't know what happened with Hikaru. His mother is screening his calls."

Isumi looked at him in confusion and looked at Waya, who nodded. "He stopped playing go some time in May and quit going to school as well. Even his childhood friend from school who Akira talked to said she hasn't seen him since early May."

"Early May?" Isumi was now wide-eyed with concern. "But it's almost July!"

The others nodded and Isumi frowned. "Where's his house? I'm going to talk to him."

-X-

The house was not what Isumi was expecting, for one thing there was a giant 'Sold!' sign in the front yard. He hoped that it wasn't the right house as he rung the doorbell.

The woman who answered was smiling but the expression on her face froze when she say who was at the door. Isumi introduced himself and asked to see Hikaru.

"I'm sorry but…"

A crash interrupted her and suddenly Hikaru was on the stairs, asking for a dustpan. When he saw Isumi, he froze before inviting him in.

"Come up to my room." He said, the need for the dustpan forgotten.

-x-

Isumi looked around at the mostly empty room. There were only boxes and the bed left in it. Hikaru looked around before offering Isumi a seat on the bed.

"So… You're back from China."

Isumi looked up, startled. He nodded.

Hikaru had been uncharacteristically silent ever since his mom had left after bringing up some drinks. There was a look in Hikaru's eyes that he couldn't place but he didn't like it. They were empty. Isumi realized that it was far too quiet.

"You're moving?"

Hikaru nodded. "Yeah."

"Is that why you're quitting go? You don't have to stop playing…" Isumi cut off when he saw the look in Hikaru's eyes. Sorrow.

"I didn't stop because I'm moving."

"Why then?"

But Hikaru stayed silent, shaking his head. The silence dragged on again and Isumi wondered what in the world had gotten Hikaru into this state.

"Will you play a game?"

Hikaru looked startled at the voice and Isumi wondered if he had forgotten he was here. The younger boy glanced around before signing.

"We can't. My goban's been sent already."

He suddenly jumped up and left the room. Isumi waited and contemplated whether or not Hikaru would be coming back. He pondered Hikaru's choice of words. Sent? How far was he moving?

The younger boy returned and shoved an envelope into Isumi's hands.

"Can you give this to the Go Association for me? I need to help my mom pack."

Somehow, Isumi found himself being ushered out the door by Hikaru. Just before the front door closed, Isumi managed to ask his question.

"Hikaru, where are you moving?"

The expression on the other boy's face was unreadable and Isumi wondered what the answer was going to be. Then Hikaru shook his head and pointed at the envelope Isumi was holding.

"That says."

And Hikaru closed the door.

Isumi wondered whether or not to open the letter and decided to wait until he was at the Go Association.

-X-

Touya Akira wondered what was up at the Go Association. There was a huge crowd around the reception desk and many people were talking at once. He tried to find out what was going on and finally spotted Waya talking to Isumi.

"What happened?" Although they still weren't friends, he and Waya both were more civil and talkative towards each other.

Waya looked up. "Isumi saw Hikaru."

"What, really?" Akira wondered what Isumi had that he didn't for Hikaru to talk to him. "What did he say?"

"He gave me this to bring here." Isumi handed Akira a note obviously written by Hikaru.

.~~~

Hey, Hikaru here (｡^-^) ﾉ

Umm… I'm not sure how to say this but I'm moving… To America.

Yup. So I won't be coming back. (;*△*;) Sorry.

I'm also sorry about missing those games. (´＿｀。) Yeah. Woops. My fault.

And it was my fault. Can't explain why… but sorry. (_ _)

I probably won't be playing you again but it was fun.

Bye. (T_T) v

P.S. Congrats of making 3-dan Touya! (v⌒-⌒v)

~~~.

"What?!" Akira looked at the other two boys in confusion. "He's moving?"

Waya and Isumi exchanged a glanced.

"Moved, actually."

"Moved?"

Isumi nodded. "It was my fault. I went home after seeing him; you know how I only came back from China yesterday, right? I slept in and then came here. By the time people read it; the Shindous already boarded the flight. They left early this morning. We only found out the details after calling Hikaru's grandfather."

Akira stopped listening. His rival had left him?

-X-X-X-

Hikaru was gone. The boy who had taken the Go World by storm vanished with hardly a trace. Although the Go Association could contact his grandfather, it soon became clear Hikaru wanted nothing more to do with the Go World. July 2001 was the last time anyone had seen the young pro.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

This is only the beginning!

I have an idea of where I'm going from here but I'm not sure how much detail I'm going to put for part of it. It may take a little while but more will come!

Also, if Sai would take University courses, what would he take?
(And no, Sai is not appearing in person in this fic. ;)

Tell me what you like!

Please Review!

- REW