This story used to be called 'A dark, dark road and a tiny light'. I know that it's been very long since I've updated this, I had the chapters written, all they needed was some editing, but I got busy with other things and forgot all about this story. Well now I re-read it and decided to finally continue it. I'm really unsatisfied with the already posted chapters, there are a lot of grammar mistakes that I didn't notice before and some things that I would write a little differently now, I actually considered re-writing the entire story, but then read the reviews it had gotten and decided that since some people liked it I'll simply edit the chapters that aren't posted yet and finally post them.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: Quitting

One week later

Gus's POV:

It's been a week since the funeral and even though I've been coming by Shawn's apartment every day I've only actually seen him a few times, both being early in the morning when I stopped by before work and both of those times there were beer bottles all over the flour and his apartment looked like a huricane had passed by it. Shawn keeps on looking thinner and thinner and even when he lets me in he barely talks. I hate it that he's been drinking, but I understand why he's doing it, it's to block the memories away, I just... I hope that one day I'll get my best friend back. I was hoping that his dad would be able to talk some sense into him, but I think they had a fight. I walk into the Santa Barbara police department, because Chief Vick called me and asked me to come. As soon as I walk through the doors all eyes fall on me - they all know what happened to Shawn's mom and that he hasn't been taking it well. I ignore all the curious stares and walk inside the Chief's office.

"Thank you for coming Gus." She says giving me a small smile.

"Of course, but I don't see what I could possibly do." I say.

"This is about Shawn." She explains. I had a feeling it might be.

"I've been trying to call him, but he never answers." She says. I fixed his phone, but even though now it's always turned on he never answers to me either.

"He's a little messed up right now." I say quietly. If only it was just a little.

"That's why I've been trying to reach him, I wanted to know how he was doing." She admits.

"So this isn't about a case?" I ask a little surprised.

"Well we do have some open cases, but with what happened I thought Shawn would probably want to take a break." She says. She's right, somehow I don't see Shawn wanting to take cases any time soon… but on the other hand whatever he's doing right now is obviously not working, so what if…

"Chief Vick, I have an idea." I say.

"I'm listening." She says.

"The truth is that Shawn's been taking this very hard, he's just not himself, but what if taking a case is just what he needs. Maybe he just needs to remember how much he loves solving cases." I say getting excited. How did I not think of this before? Shawn loves being a detective, if anything it would at least take his mind off things.

"Well it is true that for some people going back to work after a traumatic experience actually helps. Bus police work isn't something that can be taken lightly, I don't think sending Shawn on a case without being sure he's ready is a good idea." She says.

"I know that, but I'd be there and Juliet and Lassiter could be on the case too." I say. She hesitates.

"Do you really think this will help him?" She finally asks.

"I don't know, but if it won't I don't know what will." I say. She sighs.

"Okay. But you will come to Lassiter and Juliet with any information that you find." She says warningly.

"We will." I say.

"Here's the case file, you'll find everything you'll need here." She says handing me a file.

"Thank you." I say. I walk out of the office. Now the hard part – getting Shawn to take this case.

Juliet's POV:

Lassiter stops his car at the police station just as Gus's car drives away.

"Was that Gus's car?" I ask.

"I'm not sure." Is all he says. Was Shawn here too? I haven't seen him since the funeral and all I know from Gus is that he's not doing well. I'm so worried about him. The worst part is that he won't even talk to anyone, I call him every night, but he never answers. I don't know how to help him. Lassiter and I walk into the station.

"Lassiter, Juliet, I'd like to talk to you two in my office." Chief Vick says. I wander if this has anything to do with Gus being here. She closes the door behind us.

"Does this have anything to do with Guster being here?" Lassiter voices my thoughts.

"Yes. I've given him and Shawn a case." She says. What?

"You… But I thought…" Lassiter struggles to find the right words. The truth is that both of us were under the impression Shawn wouldn't want any cases for awhile.

"Gus and I talked and he thinks that taking a case would be good for Shawn. Now, I realize this is unprofessional, so I'd like for you to keep this between us. The case that I gave them isn't big, the robbery at the Mason house, but I'm putting you two on the case too." She says. So I'll finally see Shawn?

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" Lassiter asks and to my surprise his answer isn't sarcastic, he's not complaining about wasting police resources or being unprofessional, though he does look a little annoyed.

"We want Shawn to be the one to solve this case, so what you two need to do is simply look into it and make sure they don't get into any trouble. Also, we want for this to go smoothly, the last thing we need is this case blowing up in our faces too." She says.

"It won't." I say determined.

"Good." She says. We walk out of her office.

"This better work." Carlton says.

Gus's POV:

I walk up to Shawn's door and start knocking.

"Open the door." I say, but like usually, there's no answer.

"Shawn, I'm not kidding, we need to talk." I say. Once again my only answer is the silence.

"You know what? I'm not leaving until you let me in. I'll sleep here if I'll have to." I say. Nothing. I sit down on the flour.

"I'll keep on talking, and talking, and talking." I say loudly.

"I think I'll start by telling you about my day… So there wasn't a lot of work, but my boss's assistant was sick, so he decided that I should be the one to bring him his coffee…" I tell him about my horrible boss, about how boring work was, everything, but I leave out the part where Chief Vick asked me to come by the station and gave us a case. I'm not sure how long I sit here until he finally opens the door, but eventually he does.

"Okay, now I'm going to tell you something and I need for you to hear me out before you say anything." I say as soon as I step inside the apartment.

"Is this really necessary? I've been listening to your ranting for the past hour." He says. I finally take a good look at him, somehow he managed to looks even worse than before. His hair is messy and dirty, his clothes ruffled, I'm not going to even start talking about the huge bags under his eyes or the empty bottles around his apartment.

"We have a case." I say.

"What?" He asks shocked.

"You heard me, we have a case. Chief Vick called me and asked to come by the station, I did, we talked and agreed that we should take a case." I say.

"No." Is his only answer. He sits down on the couch.

"Come on Shawn, please." I ask.

"How can you possibly think this is a good idea? Gus, I'm not a psychic, I… this lie is what started this whole mess in the first place." He says.

"This 'lie' has also solved over a hundred cases and has saved a lot of innocent lives." I say.

"I'm done with Psych." He states in an even, emotionless tone that I've come to associate with him lately. My heart sinks. Done with Psych? No, no, no this is not happening.

"Shawn, you can't be serious." Is all I can get out.

"I am." He says looking at the ground.

"Are you really going to just give up on all of this?" I ask raising my voice. He can't do this. I won't let him do this. He stands up and walks up to me.

"Give up on what? Some lie? Pretending to be someone I'm not? I'm done with this. It's over. I'm going to tell them I'm not really a psychic." He says so simply, so easily.

"Tell who?" I ask.

"Everyone." He answers.

"Wh… Shawn, do you really think that right now is a good time to be making those kind of decisions? You're not thinking clearly, just… just give it some time." I say hoping against hope that I'll manage to change his mind.

"Oh my mind is perfectly clear. I've thought this over. This is just something that I have to do." He says.

"You know what? Okay, this is your decision and I am going to support it and respect it." I say coming up with a plan in my head.

"Good." He says a little surprised.

"But, on one condition." I add. He groans.

"You'll take this one last case. If you'll still want to quit after we solve it I'll support it." I say. Hopefully solving this case will make him change his mind, because I have no idea what I'll do otherwise. I can't let him do this.

"Except that it's not your decision to make." He says.

"I'm a part of Psych too you know. Please, Shawn." I beg. He sighs.

"I can't. I just can't." He says.

"Then I'll take the lead. All you have to do is show up and listen to what I'm doing." I say. He looks at me for a few seconds with an expression I can't interpret.

"…Fine." He finally says. I sigh in relief. Now all I can do is hope this case goes by smoothly and that it will help Shawn.

"Okay, so here's the case file." I say and put it on the couch.

"Basically there's a family, the Masons, and they had this really valuable painting that got stolen two days ago, there are no finger prints, no clues, nothing, the police are stuck." I say.

"So, lead investigator, how are we going to solve this thing?" He asks bitterly.

"Tomorrow we will go to the house, take a look around and talk to the family, but tonight you need to take a shower, get something to eat and not get wasted, otherwise you'll have a hangover tomorrow and that won't count as solving this case." I say.

"Okay." He says. He looks at me and what I see in his eyes breaks my heart, it's like there's something missing, some kind of… a spark that was always there. I can only hope that I haven't lost my best friend forever.

"I'll come by tomorrow and you better open the door… and be sober." I say and walk away.

Shawn's POV:

Gus told me not to drink tonight and I tried, I really did, but the memories… I just can't deal with them, so I drink, for the sake of my deal with Gus less than usually, but I drink. Sometime during the night the tiredness becomes too much and I fall asleep.

***The Next Morning***

I wake up on the couch, which is actually good, because usually I wake up on the ground. Like every morning, my head is killing me, but it's worth it, because when I'm drunk I don't remember and it doesn't hurt, when I'm drunk I sleep through the night without nightmares and every morning when I wake up my first thought is 'did someone hit me on the head?' instead of 'my mom is gone and it's all my fault'. I still have some time before Gus comes by, so I do as he said, I take a shower, change my clothes and force myself to eat. There's a knock on the door and I instantly know that it's Gus. Well I did promise to let him in, so I walk to the door and open it. He looks a little surprised, probably because I actually answered the door, but he quickly brushes it away and walks inside. His eyes scan the room, where there obviously are even more empty bottles now.

"You drank last night." He says.

"Did you really expect me not to?" I ask shrugging. The concern in his eyes is obvious, which makes me feel guilty, but I quickly brush the guilt away. It's not like I wanted for any of this to happen.

"So are we going or not?" I ask.

"Yeah, let's go." He says. We walk outside and get into his car. It's weird, I haven't sat in his car for over a week. Being back in it now gives me a sense of familiarity.

"The cops won't be there, but Jules and Lassie should stop by." Gus says. I don't answer him. There's nothing to say. We drive in silence. I can't wait until we're finished with this case so that all of this can finally be over. We stop in front of a big house. As we're walking to the door I wonder if Gus will be angry if I play games on my phone while he talks to the family… probably yes. The door opens and reveals a middle aged woman with short blond hair, brown eyes and a very formal looking red jacket with a long, slightly lighter red skirt.

"Of course, come in." She says snapping me out of my observation. Gus and I follow her inside. I try to not look around the room, because if I do I might notice something and I'd rather have Gus solve this case, but I just can't help it, so I quickly scan the room, but luckily nothing besides the empty wall where the stolen painting used to hang seems out of place.

"So, Mrs. Mason, this is where the painting used to be right?" Gus asks.

"Yes, the thief came in through that window, accidently knocked over this plant, put this chair on the table to reach the painting, took it and left through the window." She explains while gesturing around the room. I take a seat in a chair and try to tune them out, but it's not really working.

"Did you touch anything here since then?" Gus asks.

"I took the chair off the table, that's all." She answers.

"Do you have any enemies?" Gus asks.

"I'm a politician, I have more enemies than I can count, which involves the people I'm running against this year." She says.

"I heard they will announce the results in three days." Gus says.

"Yes, which is why I would like for you to solve this until then, who will vote for someone who can't even protect her own home?" She asks.

"We'll try our best" Gus says.

"Thank you." She says. We walk outside and get back into the car.

"Well? Did you see any clues?" He asks hopefully.

"Nope." I say.

"Okay, so what do we do now?" He asks.

"How should I know? You're the lead investigator, remember?" I ask.

"Jules and Lassiter aren't here yet, so I guess there's no reason to wait for them. We could look into the possible suspects." He says.

"Like?" I ask.

"Like… uh… the other candidates she is running against." He says. I groan.

"Do you really need me to do that?" I ask.

"Yes, I do." He answers.

***The Next Day***

"Is this really necessary?" I ask.

"Of course it is, the Chief wanted for us to update her on the progress that we made." Gus says and gets out of his car.

"But we made no progress." I say also standing up. We start walking towards the station.

"That's not true, we eliminated everyone she's running against." He says.

"Whatever." I say. Yesterday we, or maybe I should say Gus, spent the entire day talking to boring politicians and came up with a big fat nothing. Of course last night once again I got drunk and now Gus is dragging me to the station. We walk inside. Most of the officers are busy working and don't even notice us, but those who do stare at me, but I don't care. Honestly I don't really care about anything anymore. I follow Gus into the Chief's office. She looks up at us from the paper work she was doing and her eyes go wide as soon as they fall on me, I know I look like crap, but is it really necessary for everyone to look at me with pity every time they see me?

"Gus, Shawn. Have you made any progress on the case?" She asks finally taking her eyes off me.

"No." I say under my breath. I'm not sure if Vick heard me, but Gus most definitely did.

"We eliminated some suspects. It definitely wasn't anyone she's running against." Gus says.

"Okay, tell me if you find anything else." She says. Find anything else? We found nothing!

"We will." Gus says. We turn around to leave, but the Chief's voice stops us.

"Shawn, can I talk to you for a moment?" She asks. Great. Just great.

"I'll meet you in the car." I say to Gus. He hesitantly nods and walks out of the office.

"Shawn, I wanted to offer to you the services of our therapist, he deals with officers that have been through a traumatic experience." She says gently. A therapist… like mom was.

"I'm fine." I say shaking my head.

"There's no shame in seeking out help." She says. Maybe I should just tell her right now. I should just say, Chief Vick, I'm not a psychic. But I did promise Gus I won't do that until we solve this case. However I didn't promise anything about not telling the Chief about my plans to quit.

"Actually, I've been thinking and… I think this will be my last case." I say. She stares at me in shock.

"You want to quit?" She asks.

"Yes." I say.

"Does Gus know?" She asks.

"He knows." I answer.

"Well, I hope that you'll reconsider this." She says.

"I doubt it. I should go, Gus is waiting for me." I say before she can have the chance to try to talk me out of it. She nods and I walk out of her office.

"Shawn?" Juliet's shocked voice stops me just as I'm about to start walking towards the exit.

"Jules." I say, it's weird, but I actually feel a little… less horrible, just seeing her almost makes me smile.

"What are you doing here? Where's Gus?" She asks. I ignore the concern in her eyes.

"Gus and I came here to update the Chief on the progress we didn't make, he's waiting for me in the car." I say. Somehow this almost feels normal.

"So how have you been?" She asks. Seriously? Is she really expecting an honest answer?

"I've… been better before." I say. I notice Lassiter sitting at his desk and casting curious glances at… well mostly me.

"Well if you want to talk, I'm here." She says.

"I know." I say quietly.

"I should go." I add.

"Yeah, okay." She says. I walk away, feeling her eyes on me all the way, but as soon as I step outside and the door closes behind me any positive feelings I was just feeling disappear and is replaced with familiar pain and guilt. I was just in there feeling somewhat happy, while my mom will never feel anything again. I sit in the car next to Gus.

"What did Chief Vick want?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say looking out the window.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" He offers.

"I'm not hungry." I answer.

"Okay, then maybe we should talk to Mrs. Mason again." He suggests.

"Whatever." I say shrugging. We start driving. I pretend that I don't notice the worried glances Gus flashes my way every now and then. I keep on staring out the window.

'I'm prettier than you thought I would be, aren't I?'

Not again. Drinking usually takes the memories away for the day too, because I'm always too preoccupied with the hangover, but unfortunately the memories are creeping in again. My eyes fall on something in the review mirror. It's a dark van and I think I saw it driving behinds us before too.

"Gus." I say. My serious and not dazed tone makes him glance at me with even more concern.

"Turn right." I tell him.

"Why?" He asks confused.

"Just do it." I say annoyed. He does and the van follows.

"I think that van is following us." I say.

"What? No, you're just being paranoid." He says and to prove his point makes another right turn. His eyes go wide when the van does the same. Great, this is just what I needed, as if my life wasn't screwed up enough already.

"Oh my God, you're right." He says picking up the speed.

"Drive faster." I say.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He snaps.

"I have an idea, take a right behind that corner and then another sharp right, there's an alley there, maybe they'll drive by it." I say. He does what I said and we both sigh in relief when the van drives by the alley without noticing us. We wait a couple of minutes, then drive out of the alley and drive in the other direction of the van.

"We should go back to the station." Gus says.

"No, just bring me home." I say.

"But we have to tell the police about this." Gus says confused.

"So you tell them, but bring me home first." I say firmly.

"Fine. We'll get some rest and pick up the investigation tomorrow." He says and starts driving.

"No, you will pick up the investigation tomorrow. I'm done." I say.

"Shawn, we had a deal." He says.

"Gus, don't you see? This job of ours puts us and the people that we care about in danger every day. Look at what just happened, that van was following us because of some stupid painting. I'm done with this." I say. He stops in front of my home.

"I admit that the cases are dangerous, but we always make it out in the end." He says.

"Always? What about last time?" I ask raising my voice.

"What happened last time was horrible and wrong and I'm sorry, but you're not thinking clearly, you can't throw all of this away because of a decision you made in the heat of the moment." He says.

"In the heat of the moment? My mother is dead! She's gone! Just like that! Did you ever even stop to think how hard this is for me?! I have to relive it all the time and I always will unless I somehow get rid of this stupid 'gift'!" I yell.

"Thinking about how hard it is for you is all I've been doing! I'm just trying to help you, seriously have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? You're slowly killing yourself!" He yells.

"STOP IT! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH BECAUSE YOU DON'T! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I FEEL AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I NEED, SO JUST LEAVE. ME. ALONE!" I scream. We stare at each other. My angry eyes baring into his shocked and hurt ones. A part of me wants to apologize, but the other part, the angry and hurt one wins, so I get out of the car without saying another word. Gus doesn't try to stop me. I walk inside. I slam the door behind me and kick a chair over.

Gus's POV:

Stupid van. Stupid case. Stupid me with my stupid ideas. Just as I thought I might get through to Shawn that van just had to go and freak him out. I get out of my car and walk into the police station.

"Gus, is everything okay?" Juliet asks noticing my worried face. Lassiter comes up to us too.

"There was a car following me and Shawn, luckily we managed to lose it." I say.

"Do you remember the license numbers?" Lassie asks. The license numbers… uh, this is the kind of a thing Shawn would usually remember.

"No." I say.

"Way to go Guster." He says annoyed.

"I was a little too focused on getting away from the car to look at the numbers." I snap.

"Where's Shawn?" Juliet asks.

"He… kind of freaked out over the car following us and… well, quit the case." I say.

"For all we know that car might not even have anything to do with the case." Lassiter says.

"I think he knows that. Ugh! Everything was going so well, I was this close to changing his mind." I rant.

"Changing whose mind? Shawn's?" Juliet asks confused. My eyes go wide. Did I really just say that?

"Uh, yeah…" I say hesitantly.

"Changing his mind about what? Pineapples? Another one of your crazy nonsenses? Seriously I have had it with you two. Unprofessional, untrained, wasting our precious time. We were put on a case of some robbery just to make Spencer 'feel better' and now he decided he doesn't even want the case?" Lassiter snaps angrily.

"Changing his mind about quitting Psych." Is all I say. But it's all it takes to shut Lassiter up. His eyes go wide and the usual annoyance is replaced by shock. I expect for him to be happy, he never liked me and Shawn working with SBPD anyway, but to my surprise he looks almost regretful.

"Shawn wants to quit Psych?" Juliet asks in a small voice. I nod.

"Can you tell Chief Vick about the van?" I ask suddenly feeling very tired.

"Carlton, why don't you do it?" Juliet asks.

"Yeah, okay." He says dazed.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" Juliet suggests after he walks away.

"Okay." I agree. We walk outside.

"So, I take it he's not doing any better?" She asks. I sigh.

"Yup. I thought taking a case would help him, but all it did was get him angry at me." I say sadly.

"You two had a fight?" Juliet asks.

"Yeah. He's really bent on the whole 'quitting' thing and I don't know what to do." I say, my tone of voice betraying how frustrated I feel.

"But he can't quit. He has a gift, he can't just throw it away like that." Juliet says. Shawn may not really be a psychic, but I agree that he has a gift.

"I know that, but I don't think I can change his mind. You know, ever since we were kids we were always open with each other, we always knew what the other was thinking and feeling. Even when he left after graduation, he always told me where he was and I always knew he was okay, but now…" I trail off shaking my head. It's true, I always knew just what to expect from Shawn, but not anymore.

"Now he won't talk to me. I have no idea what he's thinking… I keep on looking at him and trying to figure out what he's feeling, but it's like he built this huge wall in front of himself and no matter how hard I look all I see is that wall." I say.

"Gus, I… I didn't know how hard this was for you too." Juliet says.

"It's still way harder on Shawn." I say.

"… Today, before you left the police station, I talked to him." She says. I look up at her. She did? Shawn didn't tell me that, not like I'm surprised.

"I didn't know that. What did he say?' I ask.

"Not much, the conversation was short, but it felt like he was opening up to me, only a little, but he was. We just have to be patient and give him some time." She says.

"I know. It's just so frustrating." I say.

"It is. But when is Shawn ever not frustrating?" she asks. That makes me chuckle.

"You're right. I'm going to go by his place right now and try to talk him into coming back on the case." I say determined. I won't give up, just like I know Shawn wouldn't give up on me if the roles were reversed.

"Call me after you talk to him, okay?" She asks.

"Of course." I say.

It's already dark by the time Gus is half way to Shawn's apartment, because unlike Shawn, he just can't spend the whole day without eating. The road is empty, so he focuses on thinking about what he's going to say when he gets to his friend's apartment. Maybe if he paid more attention to the road he would notice a dark van quickly catching up to him, but he doesn't. He doesn't notice how the van starts driving side by side with his small blue car and by the time he does it's too late. The van drives into the much smaller car with great force, making the car swing and drive off the road at full speed. The car drives through the woods and makes a sudden stop when it hits a tall tree. The van's driver is satisfied. It drives away, leaving it's victim securely hidden by the bushes and trees from any drivers that might pass by. It's like nothing even happened.

There's only one chapter left. I'll post it as soon as I edit it. I hope that some people are still interested in reading this, but I realize that since Psych ended a lot of people probably moved on to other shows. I actually haven't finished watching the last episodes of the final season yet. Anyway, if you like this, please review and I will try to post the final chapter soon.