So Thea finding out about Malcolm in 2x18 gave me this little idea - set at somepoint post "Deathstroke".

Btw, I got the hotel room idea from a Felicity/Thea post 2x18 drabble on tumblr. I can't remember the title or who wrote it for the life of me, so if you know who/what I'm talking about please let me know!

Koala Alert!

It was three days before Thea emerged from her suite at the Starling Plaza Hotel.

Once she'd walked out of the police station she realized she practically had nowhere to go. She and Roy broke up so his place was not an option, she wasn't sure if Sin actually had a place, and going back to the Mansion was out of the fucking question. She'd rather be caught dead than go to that place. Staying at one of her "friends'" houses wasn't an option either, because she would have to explain why and she didn't feel like adding more to the family drama topic. She's had her fill of it.

Thea even vaguely considered the couch at her office at Verdant. She dismissed it pretty quickly, though. First because it wasn't all that comfortable and second, because even though he didn't manage the club, Oliver still lurked around it and she didn't feel like seeing or listening to him.

She wasn't sure she ever would.

That left her with a hotel room.

So she took a cab to the Starling Plaza, booked a suite, put up the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door and proceeded to empty the contents of the well-stocked bar until she fell into an alcohol-induced sleep.

But even in her dreams, Wilson's words haunted her. Taunting her with the facts implications they carried.

It took her 36 hours to realize something that damn near brought her to her knees.

Tommy.

He was her brother.

Her flesh and blood brother.

She'd spent the next half hour retching into the sink in the bathroom.

Once there was nothing left in her, the dry heaves were gradually replaced with sobs - both from the cramping of her stomach and the knowledge of what Tommy being her brother meant.

His loss hit her all over again. Harder than ever before.

On the third day since her kidnapping, she marched out of the hotel and hailed a cab once again.

Only this time, she was headed for Starling Memorial Park.

She needed to see Tommy. Whatever was left of him. She needed to talk to her brother.

She walked up to his grave without pausing to think if she was on the right course. She could walk that path in her sleep. Just like she could go from her room to her brother and father's graves back at the mansion.

Oh wait, her ex father and brother.

Still she'd been the only one who openly grieved their loss.

She sat down, cross-legged in front of the headstone. Not caring about the damp grass and mud staining her designer jeans.

"Sooo…" she said awkwardly, running a hand through her hair.

Because what do you say to your dead big brother who you've always loved as one but never knew you had?

Complicated should be the motto of her life.

"I don't really know if you know, but it turns out I actually am your little sister…" she said, eyes focused on Tommy's name on the slab of marble.

"It sucks, you know," she sighed "Not that you're my brother, that would have been awesome. You were always awesome, but it sucks that we didn't get to find out while you were still alive, you know?"

The hand that was playing with the tips of her hair came down to rest on her lap.

"You were always so kind and good to me. You always protected me. Even from myself. No one has ever done that for me." she confessed.

"I'm so mad at everyone, Tommy, Moira and Oliver… They knew. They've probably known for years and they kept their mouths shut… I had a right to know. We had a right to know, damn it!" she ranted, letting out all the bitterness that has been festering inside of her.

"It's not fair." her voice died in her throat as her vision blurred with tears.

" I know that when Oliver disappeared you did your best to fill in for him, and I will always love you for that. It makes me think that even despite not knowing the truth, we kind of still knew on some level…"

Thea let out a bitter chuckle "And now I sound like a cliched rom-com herione…"

She leaned forward so that her fingers could brush against her brother's name. The closest she'll ever get to touching him. At least until she joined him in death.

"I miss you so much." the tears were falling freely down her cheeks now, and she was making no attempt to stop them. "And now, I miss you even more… Why do people I love always screw me over and leave me, Tommy? I'm not that bad, am I?" she sobbed.

She stayed like that for another couple of minutes, crying silently, with her hand pressed against the cold marble.

After a while, the heaviness in her chest felt lighter. It wasn't gone, but it was bearable.

She got back up on her feet and a sudden shudder went through her as a memory pushed it's way to the front of her mind.

Thea you are amazing! But you are also like my sister - my baby sister.

The sound that left her throat was somewhere between an amused laugh and a disgusted groan.

"Oh my god I kissed you!" she exclaimed. "I kissed my brother! I had an actual crush on my own brother!"

"That's like me walking up to Oliver and planting a kiss on him! EW! Jesus!" she ranted, palms rubbing against her face in embarrassment.

"I gotta go wash my mouth… and my brain…" she murmured to herself and with a last shudder walked away from Tommy's grave.

She couldn't even bear to look at his headstone.

Later in that night in her hotel room though, after she'd gone through two tooth brushes and three tubes of tooth paste as well as a dozen chewing gums, she lay in bed and though how even from beyond the grave and when her entire world crumbled around her, Tommy Merlyn still managed to make her smile.

I officially hate myself. There will be a special place for me in hell, I'm sure.