Thank you Sariniste for the idea! Check out her story, "Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors"

Dear Bleachers,

Yes, I called you Bleachers. Not the metal equipment people sit on, but I'm pretty sure you could be one of those tools since I have sat on you numerous times with my constant IchiRuki/IchiHime hints. In fact, I am quite appalled that you were able to withstand against my epic power to confuse your minds into an endless blander.

And so I sit on my large crimson chair, pondering on what I am saying. As it is, I have no idea what I am saying to you. All I know is that I am communicating you with a thesaurus in one hand and another in my English-Japanese dictionary. Never mind about that. I'm quite sure this'll go through the Google Translate I have set up in one of my many desktop computers.

My secret to confusion? Be like Aizen. As in make everything unpredictable.

Unlike Aizen who is extremely gifted in things like this, I use my gift to make others await more, but then I change the concept entirely.

Look behind you. In that empty room you sit in, do you feel the eyes of something watching you? The blare of the lights from your window is probably the one thing you see through the corner of your eyes…but wait. What is that shadow?

If you turned around and saw nothing behind you, then my point is proven. What did I do?

I am well aware this is called "trolling." Then again, more than half of you do the same thing! While I was talking to my dog the other day, I had mentioned how hard it is to thoroughly finish a story! It takes a lot of patience, and then again, I have none. Will this guy die? Will this guy live? If I chose the wrong thing, I'll lose all my readers and then I'll be all depressed again and doing "stuff."

My solution: Troll you all.

Every since I was a child, I learned the art of trolling.

In preschool I had always trolled the sensei by pretending to not do my work, but I did my work but then never finished it. Why? Because I got lazy and didn't know how to do it anymore! On my exams, I never finished the reading component of it. Why? Because it did not have any plot twists to it! When my dog died soon after I talked to it, I never gave it a funeral—the empty ditch in the yard is still half full. Why? Because looking up how to give your dog a funeral is too troublesome.

Letes stop focusing on me—lets go to you:

Did you know that your phone you put on the desk next to you is missing?

You probably checked it right now.

Did you know that you lost that paper you had to get signed by your parents?

You probably searched through your bag now.

Guess who's kid our local hime is having!

…did you guess? And no it's not Kenpachis.

You see, I'm kind of like a psychic. The only difference is, I use my trolling skills to confuse you.

Before you begin to ask any questions, I must clarify one thing—there was more happening in Aizen's quarters when Inoue went in there alone, but it was too crude to draw I refused to do so—I do not find any pleasure in drawing such insane things. Do not ask me! I will get very angry like Ryuujen Jakkah was in that filler arc and kill you!

I know ALL. I see ALL. And if I don't, I make it up!

Love, your trolling mangaka,

Tite Kubo

•Writing Tip #1: Give hints, but don't reveal so early in the story….or in my case, never reveal•

Honestly, I think I was high whole I wrote this. Did I make a good Tite Kubo? I don't know if I fooled you but I feeeel like he's actually say this O_O

If you people want to submit in questions to "Kubo" please feel free to make use of the abandoned review box below ↓

Love and Panda Turkey,

Sabby-sama the Panda Empress

PS-Laiba, the other owner of Panda-Angel-Wings, approves of this story ;D