AN: Last Chapter! I would just like to very much thank people for reading, seeing as this is my first finished fic. And thanks so much for the nice reviews. Enjoy the last chapter and sorry if I missed typos. :)

The Beloved

He remembers this, the wooden panels and the lotus blossoms scattered in the water below. The airy feel of it all, the weight that doesn't constrict his chest or beat heavily on his lungs, the numbness and her.

"Found it, hm?"

Zuko sighs, finding himself pressing his back into hers just as before, "you're saying it like you wanted me to."

"I needed you to know."

"Why didn't you just show me when you could?"

"You and I both know, it's a lot harder than that." Mai smiles, and reached a back running her fingers along the rim of his burnt ear, "but I said what needed to be said and it's all that matters now."

"You remember that game we used to play?"

"There were a lot of stupid games. You'd have to be more specific."

Zuko laughs, turns wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his chest, "you gave me knife, and we'd start here..."

"I hardly think this is the place for lessons."

"You said, keep your eye level with your target…" he breathes, slowly taking her hand into his.

"-and it was all in the wrist."

She smiles again, and he nods bringing her hand up to her chest, "my target's here. Where's yours?"

"Same place, but I never miss."

"Did I?"

"No."

They sit like that for a while, and his hand stays there never finding a beat.

"Tell me which you read." Mai says.

"Dear Zuko, tell me.." He started and she continues.

"-where it ends and where it begins. In the beginning, was it the apple or the fountain, or maybe the kiss? And when it ended was it the lies or the distance? Between this or that I can't decide, all I know is you've done two things. You've both saved me and let me drown, and regardless I can't bring myself to blame you-"

Zuko sighs lacing his fingers into hers, "...you're infuriating, naive and completely ignorant. And I left because i'm just the same."

"Coming back was just as difficult as you might assume. We've been stubborn and stupid but I can't see myself anywhere else no matter how much I thought I needed the breathing room."

"You smell like cinnamon. Ridiculously sweet things. Cinnamon and flowers some days. It's a wonder i'm not nauseous..."

"I make you nauseous?" Zuko says, straying off topic.

Mai laughs, "Immensely. I think i've make it quite clear you make me sick," sighing she continues, "-it's a wonder, that since I was eight, you have nothing but make me feel light and bring a smile to my face. Easier than anyone ever could, you make me feel things I never thought possible...and yet.."

"And yet…"

"...and yet, i'm still not particularly sure if this is love, or if it's the thing i've read about in books. But despite that, I wanted to thank you with this, and the many others, and I will continue to thank you here, with the ink until I become less of a coward and I can stand to tell you to your face."

"I love you." Zuko interrupts again.

"That's not what it says."

"I know."

"It says..thank you, for teaching me how to live. Yours always, Mai."

"You wrote a lot."

"It makes up for the things I can't actually tell you, that was the point."

"Regardless…"

"Regardless, now you know. And I have one more thing to ask."

"What's that?"

"Let me go."

"What?"

"You can't get out of this because you think you have something to feel guilty about. You don't. And I told you i'd hate it if I knew. Let me go, Zuko. You've done what you could for me, and it's more than enough, now help yourself."

She turns to face him and he looks down once he sees her tears.

"It hurts, here." She says lightly jabbing her index finger into her chest, "it hurts more than it did when it happened."

Her hand drops and her fingers clench into a fist against the wooden boards.

"I can't."

"You don't have a choice."

"You're everywhere. In the walls in bed, everywhere and you think I could let it all go that easily?"

"You're the only one holding onto it, you idiot."

Quietly they sit once more, both looking down at their hands.

He can't. There's a seam there, the carefully constructed fold between his world and the one where she exists.

"What did you mean before?" He finally asks, looking up. "When you talked about the lotus."

"The flower." She starts, straightening her back and placing her hands flat in her lap, "lotuses are for those who can rise above their circumstances. Those who can live and breathe aside from their strife. You were that, you were always that, and it's all I ever wanted to be." Mai smiles softly to herself, "I wanted to be able to endure those kinds of things, rather than let them own me. And until now I hadn't done it."

"How did you do it?"

"Letting go of you."

Sighing she gets up, turning and making her way down the panels.

For a moment he watches, and she walks, taking steps but never making any distance. And he knows, he knows there isn't much a choice but all he can think to is stall, and keep himself from waking up. From watching her walk away entirely and never again in the sheets or in the halls. But waiting makes it worse on them both, and he's keeping someone alive who's wish now is to be dead.

He owes her this, for the pain he's caused her and himself. The tears the fights, and the nights since he's seen the blood on the pillars. They owe each other peace, quiet and a place that sound although they'll only coexist in a past life.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"This."

He blinks once and she's back running her thumb along the rim of his scar, "don't apologize."

"I am, and just one more thing…"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you." She smiles and she leans, pressing her lips to his hard, and he breathes into her mouth as he feels the tears on her cheeks.

Just as soon as the feeling comes it goes, and the pressure lifts, leaving him to look up and she's gone again.

He blinks a few times, and his hands run the length of the fabric, and before long he can register the silk of the sheets. The letter's on his chest, when he sits up the paper falls to his lap. He rereads and from then on he hasn't wept since.

o.o.o

Zuko steps to the side quickly as Sokka's sword narrowly plunges just past his neck.

"Ready to talk about it yet?" Sokka grunts as he dodges, "can't hold it in forever, buddy."

"I'll talk when you stop asking me to."

Zuko swerves deflecting Sokka's sword and watching as it flies out of his hands, "third time you've lost today."

"Really? I thought it was at least the second."

They both turn as Katara interrupts, nudging cups of tea into their hands, "No, Zuko's right. But it's only because he's been trying to kill you-and everyone else for the last couple days."

"I was blowing off steam."

"And nearly injuring anyone you could in the process."

"Well, is someone would pay more attention during training, I wouldn't have to seek out new partners." Zuko huffs flicking his gaze to Aang who's been calling to a stray owlcat in a nearby bush.

"Could always let me pummel him." Toph chimes in giving a shrug.

"What happened to no crushing the students?" Zuko smirks, "though I can agree he would make a good exception."

"Let the master show you how it's done." Toph smirks back cracking her knuckles before stomping her foot and sending the airbender flying.

The entire courtyard erupts in giggles as Aang grumpily lands back on his feet. "Ha. Ha. Thanks guys, you made it run away."

Toph and Sokka quickly begin their anticipated teasing and Katara takes a few slow steps toward Zuko, "how are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Better?"

"I realized, sometimes it's better to let go."

"Well i'm glad. And i'm sure she's glad too."

Zuko smiles to himself then, "I know."