Yet another one-shot about cheeky/half-insane Harry. This can be considered a continuation to my other one-shots (Golblin Gossip, Tedious Trip, Raving Romance,…).

You'll notice that this doesn't really take the canon storyline into account.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.


"Harry?" said Hermione sounding a little concerned, as she approached the raven haired boy who was sitting on the common room's floor alongside Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, half buried under girls' magazines.

The green eyed boy turned towards her questioningly.

"What is it, Hermione?" he asked sweetly.

"What are you doing?" enquired the bushy haired girl glancing suspiciously at the stack of pinkish covers and sparkly titles.

Harry giggled girlishly, causing a chill to run down the girl's spine.

"It's a secret." he said in a sing-song voice which made the Prefect feel slightly sick.

Then he giggled again, this time accompanied by Parvati and Lavender. Shuddering, Hermione fled.

"What do you think he's up to now?" she asked her red haired boyfriend as she sat next to him on a sofa.

"Nothing good, that's for sure." mumbled Ronald Weasley in reply.

An atrociously girlish giggle rang from the other side of the room and they shivered violently.


Harry was skipping happily through the corridors, humming the tune of the Muggle nursery rhyme 'Humpty-Dumpty' as he went. The other students kept sending him odd looks, which he didn't take any notice of, as they hurriedly moved out of his way. Oblivious to their strange attitudes,the raven haired boy was blissfully thinking of how well his plan was coming along. Soon Lavender, Parvati and himself would have found the perfect killer combination.

A girlish giggle escaped his lips and all the students in the corridor jumped as a chill ran down their spine.

Now there was just one small matter he needed to take care of…


Finding his arch nemesis was easy enough. A peek at his map told him that the Slythein Prince and his escort were walking down from the Owlery. A few minutes later, Harry was conveniently positioned to ambush the group. When the Draco Malfoy and his loyal minions appeared, the Gryffindor place himself firmly in front of them.

The blonde Slytherin observed his rival, who was blocking his way while assuming a very bitchy stance, with a quizzical eye.

"Malfoy." said Harry with a business-like tone.

"Potter." replied the Slytherin neutrally because he was polite and well-educated.

Without warning, the raven haired boy grabbed the blonde's arm.

"I need to talk to you." he announced before dragging him off, leaving no room for arguments.

A little while later, the pair had invested an empty classroom which they had warder against spies and unwanted guests, before sitting on opposite sides of the teacher's desk.

"Malfoy, are you interested in seeing Snape's utterly shocked expression?" asked the green eyed boy, his face the picture of seriousness.

The blonde was a bit taken aback by the question but though about it carefully anyway. For now, there was no trap he could see in Potter's question. Not to mention it would be fun to make the Potion Master's mask fall.

"Yes?" answered the blond cautiously.

"Are you ready to give yourself body and soul to this project?" continued the saviour of the wizarding world.

This time, Malfoy didn't need to think.

"No."

Harry didn't seem fazed at all by the strong negative answer.

"Doesn't matter." he said airily dismissing the matter with a wave of his hand. "Now, listen, I have a plan…"

The two boys leaned forward, their heads nearly touching and discussed said plan in hushed whispers.


As Draco Malfoy walked back to his friends, he thought about his conversation with Potter, a smile playing on his lips. He had agreed of course. After all, not only would he witness a hilarious sight, Potter would humiliate himself in front of the whole school. For him, it was all benefits and no loss. He could never pass such a golden occasion.

"What was that all about?" asked Pansy indignantly as their Prince joined them.

"Oh, just a project we have to work on together…" replied the blonde evasively.


The exams passed by in a flash and soon it was time for the End-of-Year Ball. In the early afternoon, Harry disappeared from sight. Though they would never say it, Ron and Hermione were quite glad: his recent habit of giggling like Umbridge was starting to grate on their nerves, not to mention it was positively terrifying. However, a small part of themselves was immensely worried. Nothing had happened in the past weeks at all. Harry had studied for his exams, had steered clear of detention or any other form of punishment and had even been civil to Snape and Malfoy. His two friends feared for his life.

When the rest of the afternoon went by without so much as a sign of Harry, the two Prefects started considering sending a search party.

"Do you think something could have happened to him?" asked Hermione shakily as she and her boyfriend were waiting in front of the Great Hall, where they had promised to meet up with their green eyed friend.

"I'm sure he's fine." said Ron, though he sounded anxious himself.

At that moment, the both of them caught sight of a couple walking down the stairs. Normally, Ron wouldn't have passed the occasion to snarl and be rude to Malfoy, but as it was, he was captivated by the beauty clinging to the blonde's arm. Even Hermione was transfixed by the sight of her fellow female.

The girl had long black curls held back by a silver headband. Her bangs reached just above a pair of startling green eyes, set in a gentle face. She was wearing a long emerald dress which matched her eyes perfectly and gave her the air of a princess. She looked positively radiant as she gracefully advanced towards them with her escort, who was not bad, himself.

The two Gryffindor Prefects were speechless as they watched the dazzling pair approach. When the couple stopped in front of them, their jaws fell ajar.

"Ron, Hermione." greeted the dark haired girl sweetly with a small curtsy.

The Gryffindors looked at her bewildered. Then the girl giggles in an atrociously familiar way and it dawned on them.

"Ha-Harry?!" squeaked Hermione her eyes widening in shock.

"Wh…What?!" spluttered Ron whose cheeks were starting to redden due to confusion.

The girl's smile widened and Malfoy smirked.

"Should we go then, Darling?" asked the blonde as he gently laid his arch nemesis away.

They entered the Great Hall, leaving the pair of Prefects stunned and gaping at the now empty space in front of them.

At first, nobody noticed them. Then one of the students caught sight of the gorgeous couple and in a matter of seconds all those present in the Great Hall were gazing at them and whispering to each other animatedly.

Then Lavender and Parvati emerged from the crowd and approached the couple.

"Oh Harry!" squealed Lavender loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You look gorgeous!" exclaimed Parvati in the same manner.

Harry thanked them profusely, faking shyness for good measure. As he did so, both he and Malfoy checked Snape's reaction out of the corner of their eye. The man's mask was still on though an uncontrollable twitching was starting to surface.

Deciding the needed to push a bit more, Malfoy laced his arm around Harry's waist.

"Shall we dance?" he asked with an exquisite smile, holding Harry closer than needed.

The dark haired boy batted his eyelashes sexily and answered with a 'love-struck' expression.

"Oh! Of course Dear."

The two glided towards the dance floor, still discreetly checking for the Potion Master's reaction. The twitching had increased tremendously and the greasy haired man seemed to have difficulties gulping down his drink.

Malfoy brought the green eyed boy closer, taking the lead. After they had done a few steps, Harry leaned his head against the other boy's muscular chest, causing Parkinson to whiten in envy and Snape to start trembling.

The raven haired boy swore inwardly. The overgrown bat was a tough nut to crack, however he'd probably be done for with a final push. He glanced up at the blond Slytherin, who, having been thinking along the same lines, peered down. Their eyes met, forming a silent agreement.

Surprising their audience, the Slytherin Prince captured the brunette's lips. Snape finally lost all composure and fainted. When they had stopped gaping at the kissing pair, the other teachers started rushed to help, while the students, having finally noticed that Snape had shamefully passed out, were causing a ruckus.

Outside Hermione and Ron heard the squeaks of surprise and the strangled cries of the assembled students. When they finally gathered enough courage to peer inside, they saw the students forming a compact crowd and noisily chattering, while some were using the teacher's inattention to devote themselves to senseless activities. The teachers were rushing from one place to another attempting to tend to the fallen man. And all the while, Harry was standing away from the mayhem he had caused, his arm still locked with Malfoys, the both of them smiling triumphantly, their eyes alight with pure glee.