Characters: Adam C.
Words: 840
Rating: K
Summary: post 5x01, before 5x04; Adam says goodbye.

Another Suitcase in Another Hall

Even though he was rather sure none of the inhabitants were at the loft at that time in the afternoon, Adam knocked and waited anyway. When no one came to the sliding door, he used the key Kurt had given him to let himself in. He took a deep breath and looked around. Everything still looked the way it had a few weeks ago. The loft still looked as cosy and inviting as it had before, only now the invitation no longer extended to include him. Trying to block out the memories of here-we-sat-together and this-is-where-we-kissed, Adam moved through the living room and started gathering his things into his backpack. He picked up a discarded sweater from the couch, a hat and a scarf from Kurt's vintage hat stand and one of his cookbooks from the shelf in the kitchen, flicking a few dried specks of cookie dough off the cover. One of his Downton Abbey DVDs was still in the player. They hadn't even made it through season three, though there weren't that many episodes left. Kurt might be disappointed to find it missing, but Adam decided that was his problem- he could look them up online if he wanted to know how the story ended.

He moved to the bathroom. There, on Kurt's shelf between the many expensive hair and skincare products, stood a very new toothbrush in a glass. Adam hesitated as he held it over the garbage can, and then put it in his bag. He also took an almost unused bottle of body wash, knowing Kurt would have no interest in using that brand. He caught his reflection in the mirror and gave himself a half-hearted smile. The hardest part was yet to come.

Adam stepped into Kurt's partition of the loft. Here, the changes were as evident as they were painful. Kurt's bed was made up impeccably, and a large bouquet of red roses stood on his bedside table next to a framed picture of Kurt and Blaine. Feeling a little masochistic, Adam moved to the vase and read the card that was pushed between the long stems. It was printed and stamped by a New York delivery service: a long-distance order then.

I can't wait to see you again. xoxo B.

Adam let out a bitter laugh at Blaine's choice of words. He remembered Kurt telling him what had happened the last time Blainecouldn't wait.The glow of hurt inside of him flared into a vengeful flame for a moment as he imagined a scenario where Kurt would discover Blaine cheated on him again - but he quickly doused it. That was not what he really wanted for Kurt. In the end, Adam wanted Kurt to be happy, and if this was what he thought he needed, he was going to have to accept that. He put the card back and crouched by the bed. Kurt's suitcase was still under it, and he pulled it out. Breathing through his mouth to block out the smell of Kurt's aftershave, he pulled out Bruce, put him on the bed, and unbuttoned the pillow's shirt. A part of him tried to feel validated that Bruce was still wearing something of his- but it was quickly slammed down by the thought that with Kurt and Blaine together, the boyfriend-pillow was apparently rendered unnecessary. That it was Blaine and his actions that made Kurt order the thing in the first place made it feel all the more like a circle had now closed. Adam tried to feel happy for Kurt, but it was too hard. If Kurt's life was a Venn diagram, he was now a dot outside the lines.

He looked around for something to put on Bruce, not wanting to leave him naked. He picked up an undershirt from the back of Kurt's chair and pulled it over the pillow. He allowed himself a brief moment of melodramatic sentimentality and hugged the pillow tightly, taking one deep breath of Kurt's scent before letting go. Enough now, he told himself firmly. He had taken a risk and lost. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. There was no point in pretending that this was somehow harder or more cruel than the other times he had had his heart broken. He put the pillow back into the suitcase, shoving the suitcase back under the bed, and stuffed his shirt into his bag. Now he had everything.

Adam took a last look at the loft and smiled softly. The good memories were safe in his mind, and he knew he'd be able to enjoy them once the hurt had stopped. He locked the door behind him and took out a small note that he had written on the subway. Folding his key into it, he dropped it through the mailbox.

Dear Kurt,

Always follow your dreams.

~Adam.

P.S. I moved the Adam's Apples rehearsal to Tuesday afternoons. I know that clashes with your Vogue schedule, but I think that might be for the best.