Maybe Today Will Bring a Better Tomorrow
A Thor: The Dark World Fanfiction

Chapter 12/12

The next morning Loki was released from his bonds as Frigga had said. However the guard who handled him was anything but to be considered considerate of the captive. The adoptive prince had still been in slumber when he was dragged from his bed by the careless man who was far from concerned about injuring him. He had crudely pulled his hands up by the chain leash and roughly released them, shoving the weary and bleary prisoner back down and instructing him to dress.

It was then that Loki found all his royal and majestic clothing had been replaced by plain, humble outfits, the material no longer based on his sole comfort.

The marking of his fall in rank had begun, blatant and obvious for all who would see him. He expected no less though, especially after the verbal blows that Thor had uttered, disowning his brother where he knew it would burn like acid upon his mind. Honestly, the disgraced prince had been surprised at catching any sleep that past night, his thoughts still dwelling on the words growled at him. Of course, he had become a master of detaching himself from the present, if only as an instinct avoid more emotional harm being set upon him. Over the past few years especially, his survival and what little remained of his sanity had depended on it. It didn't mean that he didn't absorb the strikes against him, it simply meant that he could sometimes have the mercy of numbing himself to it, a gift he was entirely thankful for.

Loki dressed swiftly in a deep blue tunic, black trousers and thick, calf length leather boots, combed back his lengthy hair into a manageable style and, with a shaky breath, opened the door to where the guard stood waiting in the corridor. He knew not what was to happen now. Would he dine alone from now on, completely rejected by his once-family, would Odin even deem him worthy of being fed in the morning simply to remind his adoptive son of his place? Perhaps not. Loki shuddered.

The idea of having starvation added to his means of punishment was something he was certainly familiar with and was unsure if he could endure again. Malekith had not bothered to nourish his captives and Thanos...Thanos only threw scraps his way when he yielded under the pressure, willing to do anything and everything to make the agony cease. Food was a reward for behaving as it was desired of him, starvation was the result of disobedience, insolence and rising above his station, whether he knew he had done it or not.

Loki could only hope for the best as he was ordered to follow the guard.

Since they were in a private area of the palace, Loki was not subjected to the displeasing stares and openly vicious looks that was usual for him to receive, though he tended to ignore them until they simply became a blended background. He walked through the hallways he had grown up in as a child, suppressing the thousands of memories that battered his mind. He kept forward, ignoring the biting of his past and was pleasantly surprised to find that he was indeed being brought to the royal dining hall (which was truly just a very large room). Relief flooded through him with a silent berating to himself for doubting that Frigga would fight to allow him meals.

However, the relief he felt was instantly replaced by a tremor of fear and an overabundance of uncertainty as the polished wooden doors were opened before him. His last family breakfast had been so very long ago.

While he had known his mother would be present during the meal, he was stunned to find Odin and Thor also there, conversing with each other in quiet tones. Thor's animosity towards him left the expectation that his presence was unwanted and Odin...Loki had not seen the Allfather since he had been stored away in the bowels of Asgard. He didn't know what to do and stood there frozen, breathing quickening as he realized he wouldn't have a choice but to dine with them, not with the guard at his back blocking his only escape. It was only with the gentle eyes of his mother upon him that he found the courage to move. With a thick swallow he put his head down, quivering slightly as he was nudged forwards and to the seat he was to take.

He felt like an intruder.

Frigga was the only one to greet him, bidding him a welcome and warm good morning followed by an inquiry of how he had slept. He replied softly, not looking up as he settled into his chair. No sooner had he sat down then Thor stood up, dismissing himself with a blunt look of disgust to Loki and strutting off before anyone would say otherwise.

Feeling queer and odd while trying to push away the feelings that barked at him at Thor's actions, the dark prince stared blankly down at his plate, the sight of the food making him feel nauseous all of a sudden.

"Is there an issue with what is before you?" Odin's voice echoed suddenly throughout the room, firm and emotionless, making Loki startle slightly.

He trembled, unsure how to respond, so very different from his determined and sure demeanor.

"N-no..."

"Then eat it."

It was a direct order and so Loki did as he was bid instantly, picking up his eating utensils with shaking fingers and forcing himself to consume his meal.

The meat felt like ash on his tongue, the cooked eggs and lightly seasoned potatoes like char, but he ate, too fearful of what the consequences would be if he did not. He could feel the shadow Odin projected mentally over his mind, looming and dominant with a stony resolve for obedience and respect. It was a weight Loki had felt all his life, whether it was with purpose or personality he knew not. It held similar traits to the one Thor had cast over him, except that Thor's had been flooded with the demand for amusement applied with the traits his father had. Frigga had never been a shadow, only ever bringing light, joy and peace to him, shrouding him in the invisible wings of maternal love and acceptance.

He was glad she sat by his side now, ever in support of him and ever ready to defend, regardless of his worth.

The meal went slowly by and while he was mostly left alone, the King and Queen spoke on, talking of simple matters that required a little touch of royal command. Loki listened, forcing himself to swallow forkful after dreaded forkful until his plate was clear. He never raised his eyes, even when he noticed the detached tone Frigga has adapted with her husband, and it was not hard to see that she was displeased in some way. Loki was hardly certain of what the matter was but he decided he was not required to know.

When he finally cleared his plate with a final mouthful, forcing it down his throat with a provided glass of water like rocks down a reluctant pipe, he set the glass down and froze, insecurity replacing his motor-like attention. For a few moments he sat still, unsure of what to do now he had completed dining. As a prisoner did he have the right to just rise and leave his captor's table? Odin and Frigga still spoke between polite bites and he felt loathed to interrupt. Still, the apprehension was too much to handle on his already straining sanity and he made a decision to jump rather than drown.

If he misjudged it would just be another issue to add to his record.

Standing up and keeping his eyes carefully away from the Allfather, he took a breath, closing his eyes to calm himself.

"May I be dismissed?" He felt like a child asking, but he knew he had to tread carefully if he desired to remain in good health and with what little freedom he had. Thor did not have such worries as he stomped around the palace, but Loki was tentative to push his boundaries too far.

Odin looked at him, his sole eye piercing into the inwardly cowed figure before him. Frigga said nothing, lips in a thin line as she kept her eyes on her spouse.

"You may." Loki let out a subtle sigh, about to leave his place with a gentle thanks when he was stopped by the strong voice of his once-father. " Go and wait in my private study, I will be there momentarily."

So much for relief.

Heart pounding, Loki bowed and slipped from the room breathing harshly. He slumped against the closed door and brought his quaking hands to his face. Just when he thought he had escaped the ordeal without further need to feel oppressing stress, Odin's voice had spoken, breaking through any hope he had built up. He had been afraid before, not knowing what he would meet upon entering that room and now, now he felt raw terror at the delayed meeting he now had to face.

Honestly, Loki didn't know how he was going to have the ability to stand against it directly, being under the quick eye of the Allfather and accept whatever he visited upon him. Would he hurt him? Loki was not positive, but it was always possible that Odin would think his restrictions not punishment enough and display the effort for private reprimand. He couldn't risk ruling the scenario out. The suspension of not knowing was already wounding Loki, leaving him completely throw and unsure what strands of sanity to grasp at.

The guard who had escorted Loki to the dining hall was no longer there, perhaps as a test to see if the captive prince would flee the oncoming confrontation. Which, in truth, was definitely an appealing concept, but one with a backlash that would undoubtedly burn Loki in his delicate situation.

So he went, feet heavy and soul twitching nervously down the marble floors and golden pillars in the direction of the designated place of meeting.

Once more he kept his head down as he walked, knowing that while Thor was likely off with the Warriors Three and Sif, there were still a few guards who would cast wary glances his way. He wandered carefully down the halls, his steps light and slow as he went. Already he felt worn by the breakfast he had endured, but this? Would he truly be able to stand through whatever the Allfather wished to discuss?

Odin's private study was, while a simple place of work, filled with intensively carved walls and colors of the sweetest red-wine. It was a common place for meeting of direct contact between the Allfather and invited or visiting people of high and important status. Loki had been allowed within the chamber in only a handful of necessary callings. When he was younger, it had been in meeting with the Elven King with a discussed arrangement of marriage between Loki and the elven princess. The younger prince had been required to make the foreigners acquaintance and while the deal was never committed, Loki had enjoyed the attention he had gained.

In his elder years he had come to the study to discuss problems in Asgard, of trade and various other topics that needed attention from one of royal family and lead him to consult his father for assurance. Back then he had felt responsible, appreciated and maybe even a bit loved by Odin. Now though? Even as he gently pushed the oaken door for entrance, Loki was certain he would never feel those emotions from his father again. If he ever completed his sentences and made due reparation to the point of exhaustion, he would never have a bonding with Odin like he had had, little though it was.

The idea made Loki's chest ache painfully.

Stepping lightly over the floorboards, he looked about, uncertain where it would be appropriate to await his King. The dark-polished desk and cushioned chairs seemed far too elegant to ink up with his touch. No, he would not sit there unless commanded, judging safety to outrank his comfort. He did not wish to be seen as assuming his position higher than it truly was, after all. Instead, he opted for settling himself on the window seat to the far right, away from the desk, chairs and shelves and flushing golden sunlight upon his pale features. He gently touched his fingers to the warmed glass, smiling grimly to himself as the beauty of the outside world.

In prison he had missed these sites, watching the wind sift through the leaves and make trees dance. Nature did not judge, did not sneer and did not lie, making it a close companion to his heart, unable to hurt him deeply.

Long minutes passed and Loki found his emerald eyes entranced by the environment, completely oblivious to the sound of someone entering into the room.

"Loki."

The fallen prince startled, spinning away from the window and looking up with wide eyes at his father. His breath caught in his throat, leaving him unable to speak as fear took over his senses. Panic bit wickedly into his mind and the terror he felt left him paralyzed.

At his silence, Odin's grim face frowned, as if confused by the behavior of his prodigal son.

"Loki?" Reached forward, resting the palm of his hand on Loki's shoulder. "Are you well?"

Shocked by the touch, the dark-haired young man sucked in a desperate gulp of air. His cheeks began to burn with shame at the slightly concerned look Odin was displaying. He let his gaze fall respectfully, hoping he had not angered the Allfather terribly.

"Yes…yes, I'm fine."

"Your conduct would suggest otherwise." Odin stated, removing his hand from his adoptive child's shoulder.

Loki's head bowed further in humiliation, berating himself because of his reaction to contact with his father. It had been a very long time since his last personal encounter with the Allfather and he found himself stumbling uncertainly and left insecure by it.

"I am well." He said, his voice nearly a whisper.

The King's face became impassive once more, but Loki had the feeling that he did not believe the claim he had made.

"Then you should know that tomorrow morning the mind healer, Sylire, will be expecting you." Odin waved for his dark son to follow him to the desk, motioning for him to sit. Loki did so, his attention ever on his father as he too took his seat. "Determining the cause of your actions is vital, you know this do you not?"

"I do." The prince lowered his eyes, casting them to his feet.

The emotions Loki found himself battling to keep dormant began hollering inside his skull and banging at his heart for freedom. He felt mortified and completely subject to the man before him, a man who could take everything he had away with a mere word. This was a mercy, trying to discover the core of Loki's causes and desires that led him to betrayal and destruction. No doubt it had been Frigga who saw to these conditions, trying to ease the stones Odin set in place.

"And your Moth-has Frigga has told you of your boundaries?"

Loki fidgeted, swallowing thickly in his throat. He had not missed the subtle correction if wording Odin had used. It spoke volumes.

"Yes, sir." He stated softly. "She also informed me of my other restrictions."

"Including that involving Thor?" Odin asked, leaning back in his chair as he openly scrutinized his adoptive son. It was yet another thing the younger prince knew well. "You own him reconciliation for the harm and lies you wove for him, Loki. It is for him to decide the terms of payment in that regard, as you thought to do so to him. I expect you to go to him inquiring the nature of his desired justice. Also…"

He paused, causing Loki to fidget against his will.

"My King?"

He hated how his voice shook, unsteady and quivering past his lips.

A blatant difference to the clarity of the Allfather's own speech.

"You are to serve Asgard with what talents you have offer." Odin finished gravely, features as stoic as ever. "This realm may not be that place of your birth, but it has hosted and sheltered you for countless years. The chaos and destruction you cast here was unwarranted and caused much harm among my subjects. Therefore I shall be assigning you tasks, those who desire my aid but have no weight against political movements."

Ah, so a lenient form of slavery was to be burned upon his existence as well. That…was to be expected he supposed. Releasing him from his condemned imprisonment below Asgard's floors was a crucial move to make, effecting the whole of the current justice system in a violent backlash in cries for repayment. Loki, regardless if he had been forced or not, still bore some responsibility to those who had perished in his crazed and pointless attack upon Midgard. He was ultimately a criminal supposed to be serving a strict sentence, not gaining pity and grace from his Queen Mother simply for be her son. Rank was no hindrance to true justice and in one way or another, Odin would see that he paid over her due amount of suffering in exchange for his damages.

Of course, while Loki could not even look upon his actions upon Midgard without birthing the emotions of desperation and fear he felt at that time, he did not believe himself to be entirely innocent. If only he had been stronger, better, more resilient against the constant torment inflicted upon his person he may have resisted the control and none would have perished due to his failure.

If only he had been more like Thor.

All would have ended well then and Odin would be pleased now, rather than setting lines and destinations for his disappointment of his adopted and foolish jotun-son.

"I-I understand." He breathed out, looking down at his lap where his hands had curled into tight fists. "Is that all, my Lord?"

"No." The Allfather let silence pass between them for a few moments, as if contemplating how to form his next words in a careful fashion.

The anticipation burned Loki's heart as he caught the look in Odin's eye, blatant and unguarded.

Disgust.

A shattered heart broke further, leaving but fractures so small, it was much like dust.

"You are forbidden from seeing Queen Frigga without supervision. For while I believe my wife's words on the choices you made and the deeds you suffered in her name, I will not have you manipulate her towards your freedom." The old man leaned forward, ignoring the teary shine his Loki's eyes. "You are a prisoner still, though granted more leave than most. If you tempt my set boundaries I will see your being punished with severity. You understand?"

Panic laid its teeth viciously into Loki's soul, tearing it cruelly as his lifeblood spilled and his screams clutched at the air of his mind. To be barred from she who was his foundation in his turmoil? No. Loki would be unable to yield to such a request. Frigga was his mother, the tender core of his being and the reason for his survival. She held him, just by her spirit alone, from relapsing into the mindless state of raw fear and agony that would course in memory through his weakened form.

To take away his pillar and leave him abandoned for the duration of his long sentence? It would prove to be unbearable for him.

Do not keep my mother from me!

"I….I will obey your commands..." Loki trembled, forcing his head up and his emerald eyes to meet the old ones of his once-father, a plea clear in his features. "But please…I, I cannot see the harm in…"

He stopped.

No, no he did see the harm in allowing him, naught but a Jotun runt, to converse with Frigga, though it was hardly on the ground Odin believed it to be. During their time with Malekith, the Queen had only sought to help him through his troubles, displaying open love and affection for his unworthy self. His mother had wished for him to feel special, because in some sort of false joy, she felt that he was.

But Loki, despite the rumors of him, was not delusional….at least, no longer in that way.

Though it would pain him, drive him to his knees in sorrow and force him to take solace in the familiar silence of his existence rather than seek out the Queen in want for love, assurance, Loki could not bring himself to want to sully her with his presence.

"None shall ever find you worthy!"

A scream, a plea, a want for release….

"And you should not seek to force such foul desires upon others!"

The memory was instantly blocked and a shaky sigh left Loki's lips, his eyes closed tightly and his hands clenched into white fists.

"No Loki."

His shoulders fell, surrendering himself to the fate he had no choice but to take.

"I….I understand Allfather….and I shall endeavor to follow your sentence."

Odin nodded, standing, Loki scrambling to follow the action so as not to appear disrespectful.

"Very well. Report to Sylire in the morning." He waved his hand as a signal for Loki to depart.

The second prince nodded, moving swiftly while trying not to make it blatantly obvious that he no longer desired to be in the same vicinity as his once-father. However, it was just as he was turning the glass knob when the Allfather's voice sounded once more, stilling his rapid movements instantly.

"Know that your future will be determined by the Master Healer's experienced opinion." Loki tightened his grip on the knob, its decorative edges digging into his palm. "It is meant to aid you into clearity yes, but also to allow me to understand you. If threat to the Nine Realms or Asgard is found, I shall deal with it appropriately, as is expected."

If you turn against us, I will spare you no pain and death will be the outcome.

"I would anticipate nothing less, Allfather."

And with that he left, mourning his future, dead to his past and so very, very lost within his own soul, burning for things he had lost, things he would never, ever have.

"Terror, prince? Why weep you for those who care not? I assure you that even if you were to return, they're rejection will balance with abuse and their tolerance with hate. Your future is empty, just as flesh is cold. Scream, Jotun, but cry not for that which you never had."

But cry he did. For a Mother, for a Father and for a Brother who, despite everything, he would always love.

And though it hurt him, it mattered little if that love was returned.

And there it is, the long-awaited finale for Maternal Bonds! Sorry for any mistakes I might have had (my time was limited)! Follow me to get updates for the sequel "Fraternal Bonds" where I promise more angst, a little bit of that elf we left behind, and an exploration of the bond between Loki and Thor and hope for Loki's raging situation! Send me expectations or ideas you might want me to consider for the next tale in a review! Also would you be interested in a Loki love story in this series? Let me know what you think!

As always, thanks for reading and I look forward to writing the next story of the "Asgaridan Bonds" series!

Thanks so much!

-Ireland Ranger-